Awkward Mushroom

My name's Benjamin, I'm 20 years old, and living the best life I could ever imagine.

[ribbu]

there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me

it’s called the throne

[dashbeardconfessional]

Drake + the Star Wars cantina band

[dashbeardconfessional]

still so proud of this tbh

[heartsnmagic]

[wajestosa-deactivated20200926]

[love-personal]

[envyavenue]

Winter Season by Daniel Kainz

[echophon]

[i-remember-there-was-mist]

Today I shut my cat in the fridge.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  Tali loves the fridge.  I don’t know why, but every single time we open it, she bolts for it and jumps in.  She crawls into the back of the fridge and nestles int the smallest little corner she can.  Now naturally, my biggest fear has been that I’ll close the fridge without knowing she’s in there.  And of course, today I went to go grab my Brita filter to pour myself some water.  I wasn’t really watching the fridge, and I just opened and closed it really quickly to put the Brita back while I was looking somewhere else.  And then I looked around and realized that Tali had been in the kitchen, and now she was nowhere in sight.  So immediately, I throw open the fridge door, and there is is, hanging out in the back, content as can be.

[i-remember-there-was-mist]

Fridge cat just got weirder.  Today Tali got into the bathroom while I was showering, which of course made me a little nervous.  I didn’t want her to freak out and hurt herself or go on a scratching spree.  But evidently she loves water, so she jumped in and just splashed around for a while and got back out.  But then she kept whining to get back in, so my boyfriend put a cooler down so she could get in and out with ease, which she took great advantage of.  She’s soaking wet now, and very content.  

[i-remember-there-was-mist]

I told Tali she was famous.  She and her stuffed husky celebrated.

[theapatheticstag]

This is the kind of content I joined for

[wvnderlst]

Aspen, Colorado | John Gvazdinskas

[modernambition]

Riyadh | Instagram

[animalsnaps]

[officialjiggly]

if a charmander running in circles chasing its tail doesnt fit your blog then you are running the wrong kind of blog

[discosuuucks]

i love this

[berniesandrs-blog]

“I know, I know, I have to admit it. I guess I’m a man, men are allowed to go to the bathroom, but women, what can we say? […] This is a guy who wants to be President of the United States.”  - Bernie Sanders on Donald Trump’s comments on Hillary Clinton

[insanityinstyle-blog]

I just had the best day of my life. I married the girl of my dreams, I stated my vows, and sealed it with a beautiful kiss. Here's to the rest of an amazing life with somebody worth spending it all with. You're my world, Mackenzie. Thank you for making me so happy. You've changed my life, much for the better and I'll always be grateful for you. I love you, babygirl. (at Maunalua Bay)

[ryantippery]

[best-of-memes]

[nicolas-px]

[today-ifuckedup]

Today, I fucked up... by pulling a prank on my family

My mom got me some chocolate covered pretzel bits for Christmas and they literally looked like shit. I told my parents and they said they look like pretzels and told me to stop being ungrateful. After everyone went to bed, I put a few of my chocolate pretzels outside of the cat litter box to make it look like the cat got poop everywhere. The next morning I come downstairs and my family is complaining about the cat poop, so I decide to be funny and pick one up and take a bite out of it and laugh at everybody because I was right about the pretzels looking like shit. I take a bite. It’s soft. It’s not a chocolate pretzel, it’s fucking shit. My family is howling with laughter as I run to the bathroom. They knew what I had done and replaced my pretzels with actual cat shit. I don’t think I can ever show my face around my family again. They keep telling me I can clean the litter box if I get hungry. - CuddlySpaceKittens

[theawesomeadventurer]

i am fucking howling with laughter end me now sweet Jesus