My constant need for attention will be the end of me
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@validatedparking
My constant need for attention will be the end of me
A little angsty but I literally want to rip my own skin off because I can’t function alone.
I fetishize fictional men and their fictional dick and balls. I go to work, I go to school, but when I come home, I fetishize fictional men and their fictional dick and balls. I spend Christmas with my family and stare blankly out the window as my siblings unwrap their presents because I can’t wait to get home and fetishize fictional men and their fictional dick and balls. Sometimes I throw wild Great Gatsby esque parties where I hover over my guests from the second floor and while I enjoy the lifestyle, I’m burdened by a profound loneliness because all I’m really thinking about is fetishizing fictional men and their fictional dick and balls. I love fetishizing fictional men and their fictional dick and balls. I love it so much that every second I spend not fetishizing fictional men and their fictional dick and balls I’m having American Psycho esque daydreams where I brutally slaughter my corporate competitors because I yearn for an escape from backhanded platitudes and my own catharsis-less sociopathic tendencies that capitalist America has forced upon me. Also because I am desperate to go home and fetishize fictional men and their fictional dick and balls.
who else is taking a big sip of
My Significant Other Is Amazing And Im So Lucky to Have Them In My Life juice on this fine tuesday
yesterday I had two old ladies get upset that coffee isn’t 10 cents anymore.
like right now I’m trying to remember if I have ever bought anything for 10 cents or even seen anything that was only worth 10 cents. What century did they crawl out of
LMAO
When Daddy cuts my French toast for me. 💕
Oh hey look it’s me! I usually cut up kittens food but I always ask her just in case she ever wants to be a big girl. I love you lil britches mwuah
*Banging table* CUMMIES CUMMIES CUMMIES
hE WEARING AN ED EDD AND EDDY SHIRT NOBODY GONNA SAY SHIT ABoUT THIS
he made her eat the doo doo
str-yrats
You guys wouldn’t understand the relationship between a kitten and her daddy
I love how most of Ojisama to Neko so far needs no translation.
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.
You missed some of the best ones
the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.
How could you forget this one though
I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.
someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?
Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.
Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.
Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”
ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!
I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life
It got even better guys. Not only is Semple selling his light reflecting paint but he has promised a free jar of it to Kapoor because he thinks Anish needs more light in his life
farewell to the memes of 2017
FFFFFFFFFF
hey
we’ve gotten very close to losing just about everything in 2017
MY HEART
destroy the idea that bunk beds are just for kids
especially the sort where the lower bunk is actually a desk or a couch
i mean
come on
tell me you don’t want one of these
i need it
I have always thought about this
When I get my studio apartment I’ll have one for sure
human brain: beds go on the floor
monkey brain: SAFER UP TREE
Paulo Sebastian Spring/Summer Couture 2018 - Once Upon A Dream
One question
Who will stop him
nobody
let the boy dance
There they go…
Photographer Captures Heartwarming Portraits of Blind Cats to Help Them Get Adopted
@dasvanthenecromancer
Hey guys, the photographer has created a GoFundMe for the care and vet bills for this shelter and kitties! Check it out and share please! I’m always thankful for rescues that save and care for special needs animals https://www.gofundme.com/save-sir-thomas-trueheart-2ug6ehsc
@mostlycatsmostly
fedoras are bad, yeah, but occasionally you’ll find someone attractive enough to pull it off. a top hat, though? a top hat makes you look like a total asshole no matter who you are
say it to his face
well hey who wants to help me dig my own grave. i also need assistance carving out “HERE LIES A WRONG AND MASSIVE DUMBASS” on my tombstone so if someone could do that for me that’d be super
Seeing people rocking out to Hamtaro is the best thing I’ve seen all year