Runningonempty

[glumshoe]

if I ever publish a book I think my back page author’s portrait should be this picture of me in a detective costume dramatically drinking eggnog at midnight on my kitchen floor

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

reasons that i was going 9 mph over the speed limit today: the lumberjack in the big red chevy truck behind me on this double-lined road was in a hurry and also was using a slightly more powerful bluetooth radio to play his music, but he was using the same frequency that i use, and he was just playing Party In The Usa on repeat, so every time he caught up to me my music started fading out and “i pUT MY HANDS UP THEY’RE PLAYIN MY SONG” started blaring from my speakers and i was justly running for my fucking life

[truth-is-bitter-blog]

WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD I JUST KEEP PICTURING SOME POOR SOUL SWEATING AND STARING AT THIS TRUCK IN THEIR REAR VIS MIRROR WITH PARTY IN THE USA PLAYING IS THIS A SCENE FROM AN ACTION MOVIE

[snoopingasusualisee]

i know the “ok tumblr children please here are the rules to twitter and please behave” posts are so patronizing and dumb but some of you NEED to know that your likes are public

[phaygo]

everyone remembers ted cruz liking MILF porn on the anniversary of 9/11 so this post is pointless

[bellamynochillblake]

we’re going to have to call smut ‘lemons’ again, aren’t we? 

[im-reddie]

LEMONS!? WHEN THE FUCK WAS THIS?!

[bellamynochillblake]

oh you sweet summer child 

[fool-errant]

I actually made this a button last convention

[smooththegoofyshark]

Gaud I remember when it was lemons, I feel old now

[butteryswimmingthing]

explain pls

[smooththegoofyshark]

No

[smol-bean-meme-machine]

What are lemons??

[phylix]

I don’t own the copyright to this, others own the show. All I have is this saaaad little computer and a sketch pad. ^-^ Please don’t sue! I don’t need anymore stress!

Please R&R!!!!!!!

No flames. >///<

[lotrlocked]

lol this story contains slash! Don’t like don’t read. Rated M. AragornxLegolas. lemon. Lololol ^-^ NO FLAMES OR I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY STABBITY SPORK OF Death! -__-

[dayoldhakarl-deactivated2021011]

#this post made me age ten thousand years.

[marloviandevil]

A/N: Things are probably going to be very OOC but who cares, It’s my fic, I do what I want! MUAHAHAHA!

[kenkuarchive]

[archive95205-blog]

This Man Did Something That’s Already Expected Of Women But He Gets Extra Praise Cause He’s A Man

[obviouspseudonym]

No. A lot of women don’t go to cosmetology classes to learn how to do hair, they have the experience from growing up-their mom doing their hair, Then experimenting which what they can do themselves. This guy probably had short hair his entire life with no clue on what to do. He didn’t just look up how to do a ponytail, he paid for actual classes so that he could do his little daughters hair in cool and creative ways so that SHE gets the learning experience and learns how to do it her own and then can go to school with fabulous. This is A+ daddy right here, he went above and beyond because he knows that he lack in certain areas where a mom would pick this up. Please don’t destroy nice things that men do simply because they are men and you want to hate them.

[ayesha-on-air]

Please don’t destroy nice things that men do simply because they are men and you want to hate them.

Shots fired.

[minervafloofderg-migrating]

One of the reasons I feel so comfortable using Tumblr over other social media is because this site is clearly too incompetent to be evil.

[minervafloofderg-migrating]

The basic business model of a social network is to harvest commercially valuable personal data and sell it, most famously via targeted ads. Anyone visiting my blog can clearly see that I am a queer furry who’s into video games and art. And yet I am only served ads for funeral homes, Bible story DVDs, and the current president’s reelection campaign (in 2018 for some reason)

Needless to say my click through rate has not been very good

[chaos-ensuing]

Me: Runs a blog dedicated to dungeons and dragons and anime Tumblr: You know what, you strike me as a sporty type

[livenudebigfoot]

I’m a social media manager for my day job and Tumblr is literally the only social media platform I can relax on anymore because it’s so incompetent when it comes to exploiting my personal data.

[ineffectualdemon]

How to determine if a kids injury is serious or not

offer them “medicinal chocolate” if they stop crying it’s fine if they carry on crying/refuse the chocolate then it’s serious

[nonbinaryparent]

From age two apparently^^

[shirleycarlton]

Oh wow I never heard this one.

[official-90er-kind]

German edition: offer the kid to blow away the pain. If it’s better afterwards it’s okay, if they refuse or still screaming it’s serious

[having-conniptions]

Also a lot healthier than giving your kid chocolate everytime they cry tbh

[ineffectualdemon]

It’s not everytime they cry it’s only if they get injured and you’re unsure if it’s serious because they are screaming but you can’t tell if they are overreacting or not

For things that are clearly a minor bump we give kisses instead

[ineffectualdemon]

And before anyone thinks if a kid is screaming it’s not an over reaction

My kid fell off their bike and skinned their knee. Just skinned it that’s all and they went into full on scream/crying hysterical because it was bleeding and they hadn’t had an injury where they bled within their memory

It wasn’t so much the pain as the blood that made them hysterical.

In that case we could see it wasn’t serious but the chocolate helped them calm down and then I got them to tell me about Terraria until they were calm and their wound was dressed

It was absolutely an overreaction to a skinned knee but it was also an understandable one

Kids don’t have experience or pain tolerance we do and sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s something that requires a trip to the hospital or not

[lickmetilllicecreammmm]

Kids don’t have experience or pain tolerance we do

This is important….we’ve had 20+ years of injuries and can compare some pain to other pains and be like this doesn’t hurt nearly as much as this other thing that happened. Pain is an experience that’s new to kids, especially little ones. Some overreactions are to be expected

[jessica-problems]

There is a good chance that whatever just happened is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to them

[blackqueerblog]

Michelle Obama: "I have been at every powerful table you can think of...They are not that smart"

Truth 

[destiny-islanders]

Seems legit.

DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION

Twitter: @DaPandaBanda Instagram: Destiny.Islanders Redbubble: DaPandaBanda

[swanjolras-blog-archive-deactiv]

okay, most of what i do re: harry potter is criticism, and hp is flawed in such a number of ways, but sometimes i just sit here and

i mean, you all have a comprehension of just how drastically harry potter changed literature, yeah? like. it revitalized it. it blew the literary scene apart. the new york times had to create a separate bestseller’s list for children’s lit just because harry potter existed. harry potter changed reading.

so many people on tumblr were born in the ‘90s. when the first book came out, most of us couldn’t read. but we grew up in a world where everyone, everyone, everyone was reading harry potter, no matter how old they were; we grew up in a world where the most popular story in the entire world was a fantasy children’s book.

it’s sort of difficult to grasp, sometimes, the extent to which harry potter is not just a book. the extent to which what is basically a series of fun, interesting, and fairly good novels is such an enormous, enormous part of our lives, a cultural touchstone, a truly universal reference point, something so many people have shaped their lives around, a foundation for all of the stories we would read and watch for the rest of our lives– for so many of us, the first books we ever loved

the extent to which so many of us can’t call ourselves “fans” of harry potter, because it would like being a “fan” of, like, having lungs.

it’s not even about liking it or disliking it. it’s just a part of us.

[hasufin]

This reminds me an awful lot about Starbucks.

No, seriously. Before Starbucks, America was a coffee wasteland. Coffee was a thing you got at diners and drivethroughs. It was a cheap hot thing you put made palatable with tons of cream and sugar, and most people (but waning!) had a coffee machine at home.

Starbucks told us that we could like coffee. That coffee could be an enjoyable thing, that it could be a status symbol and a ritual. That there could be a place where you go for coffee, and you enjoy it.

As a coffee snob, I think Starbucks’ coffee is awful. But Starbucks is why we have better coffee. Starbucks created the market space for third wave coffee shops and artisanal roasters. They reintroduced “espresso”, “latte” and “cappuccino” to the American lexicon.

We need stuff that’s heinously popular. That’s how culture works.

[naamahdarling]

The cultural impact of the original 3 Star Wars movies was something literally phenomenal, something absolutely ubiquitous that changed the landscape of entertainment so fundamentally that things haven’t been the same since.

It was very much like Harry Potter. I know JK is le problematique but the books were fun, creative, and exciting, got a LOT of kids into reading in general and fantasy specifically, and gave us all some mew common cultural touchstones.

I feel very fortunate to have lived through both, and I wonder what will be next.

[agendersora]

[its-the-fluffy-lupin]

I made this and showed it to a friend. She said I should post it, so here we are.

[pananni]

Wholesome content

Soviet Womble Original Video

[pizza-otter]

This is my favourite VR video ever. 😂

[anothercleverjedimindtrick]

Being on tumblr after the update like

[the-man-who-sold-za-warudo]

The last horny on main blog posting anime feet on December 17th

[jooferslannister-deactivated202]

[glixbitch]

I JUST CHECKED THIS IS REAL IM SCREAMING

[siobhanblank-deactivated2019011]

When you’ve spent 92 years on this earth with the name “Dick Van Dyke” and you’re only just now hearing the dumbest possible joke about it.