What if i become the 10,000,000 alteredpanel clone
Pfp by https://toyhou.se/sugarchu
IF YOU ARE "endo-supporter DNI" YOU BREAK UR OWN DNI BY FOLLOWING ME SO DO SO AT UR OWN DISCRETION
One day, I swear, we'll make an intro post that covers what we want it to while also not feeling like oversharing while also leaving plenty of room for if someone new decides to pop up.
Here's our attempt at that now
Hello! We're a system with no official collective name! Yggdrasil is getting tossed around to a point where it's in our hands more then in the air though; and if you don't know who's fronting, It/They is an okay pronoun assumption.
We discovered we were a system around May 2025 after suspecting for a long time. Attempting to manage college and figure out this + ADHD + other issues simultaneously.
We're not TOO bothered if you know our actual names, but thought this would be cute - the "code names" are within the color family of the one we're drawn as and starts with the same letter as [one of] the part's name[s].
The Fish's Mouth is our bulk comic tag!
now, below cut (so this post doesn't get too long) is Us by order if who you are most likely to get responding to you on any given day
Lilac -🐉🐉| They/It | Host, Anxiety Holder | [Fur]sona - Opossum creature shapeshifter | Me-core Song - I'll Be, Patricia Taxxon
Spring - !! or 🦚 | It/Its | Local Introject is probably Hydrean Cohost | [Fur]sona - Jackson's Chameleon Fossa | Me-core Song - Recongealed, The Garages
Pale - ++/++ or 🐺🪦| He/They | Like if a Caretaker was dead | [Fur]sona - Wolfman | Song I relate to - Changes Shape, Cosmic Johnny
Orange - 😺 | whatever pronouns you'd use for a molly cat | Trauma Holder, Heart (i.e. a heart in a 5 man band) | Tabby Cat | i think i relate to Mouthwash by that?? one artist??? i don rememer name
Ferrous - % or🫀| He/They>She | Beautiful Butch Tank | [Fur]sona - Ferret Spider | Song I relate to - Wheels, Cake
Gray - 🔪| they/he | Little guy but like, preteen about it | [Fur]sona - Bayonet-horned Monoceros
Phthalo - 📼| He/They capitalized | Manager. Middle management if you will. | [Fur]sona - Umbreon
Inspired by what Orchard System did over here! Moodboards! Wahoo!!
Most images are from around Tumblr and should be findable on our alt; some are from ourselves and some of the wolf ones are from iNaturalist (our beloved)
Plural Catch-22: the path to happiness is lined with people who will call you fake for trying to walk it.
Fuck them. Walk it anyway.
Image ID in alt text and under the cut.
Image one:
Red, drawn repeatedly in boxes where she experiences intense suffering: "Why am I more palatable to the Average Joe if I paint myself crying and (censored) and suffering and dying a thousand times over than if I draw my system smiling?"
Part of the system is drawn smiling: Red, Hawthorne, and Gwen.
Image two:
"It's pathologization, of course."
A drawing of Red as the Vitruvian Man, wings and tail and broken halo extended, head duplicated. Figure one: the broken must suffer to be broken in a way that matters. Figure two: if you're not suffering, then I can ignore you. Figure three: if you're weird and happy, then you're a lying, cheating bitch who deserves to be hung in the public square.
"If you're not normal, then you're suffering."
"If you're not suffering, then you're normal. Get with the program and stop pretending you're strange."
Image three:
Red, sitting curled up and turned away, broken halo and a devil's tail. "I hate it. I hate that most of the Western, colonized world sees my existence as inherently awful. I hate that my existence is still something to cure. I hate that a system broadcasting their trauma is treated as more real than one broadcasting their joy."
See, what bothers me is the double standard of it all. We're sick if we're multiple and miserable. We're liars if we're multiple and happy. We were never multiple at all if we fuse, and people will take every chance they get to prove we were faking it in the first place. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't, and double-damned if you try something else.
What does anyone want from us? For us to shut up and disappear so you can call us fake again? For us to drag ourselves over hot coals until we're in enough pain to satisfy you? For us to wring out every drop of our trauma history for your entertainment, just so you can discard us the second you have a different opinion about anything at all?
The plural community's not exempt from this issue. You know which systems get reblogged the most? Which systems get their words taken as Expert Advice? Who gets heard, who gets thought of, who gets boosted? Have you ever noticed that some systems are palatable and others aren't, and that people regularly throw the unpalatable systems in harm's way to justify their own reality as "one of the good ones?"
Do you really think Western medicine thinks any of us are "the good ones?" There are no good madmen, only quiet ones.
#yyyup! #OP let me know if i'm diverging from the original intended meaning of your post too much here #but i feel like this phenomenon intersects with our transfemininity #in the sense that “transfem” one of the less acceptable types of system to be on sysblr. #we operate under the assumption that our blog is temporary and conditional. #it feels like it's pretty much inevitable that one day we'll say the wrong thing and everyone will dogpile us for it. #like for example: maybe we talk in-depth about ageplay and get pedojacketed as a result. #all of a sudden we've lost the public's favor! we were a bad apple all along! ohhh i always knew something was up with her! #that's not a type of system we respect! she doesn't get to represent systemhood! we're good systems unlike her. #anyway#let's all push forward together and back each other up when we get hate for it alright?
You're spot on. Trans and queer systems (doubly so for transfem systems, especially here on Tumblr Dot Staff-Misogyny), disabled systems who can't be "aesthetic" about their disabilities, Black and Indigenous systems who dare to be themselves online, systems with littles who don't want to live in the sexless safe box or adults who can't handle it all, systems struggling with "inconvenient" symptoms and comorbidities, systems who show the "wrong" kinds of suffering, systems with hostile members or infighting that affects outside people, systems who've been fused or want fusion, systems who don't want fusion, median systems, polyfragmented systems, tiny systems, systems that don't fit the American medical model of "DID or bust (with a totally dysfunctional, miserable, fusion-craving system of 5-15 people that has maybe one fictional introject at most)", systems that don't fit the current community notion of what's normal or common...
Plenty of people don't fit the palatable system mold, especially if they're dealing with other systemic bullshit like racism and transmisogyny and ableism, and too many systems get harassed off the internet or lolcowed for it. Doubly so if we find ways to be happy with ourselves. And it's absolute bullshit.
The only palatable system is a white, abled, patriarchy-friendly-while-arguably-being-against-systemic-discrimination system that never fucks up in any meaningful way, never contradicts itself or disagrees, is distinct enough to be neatly stereotyped and categorized (unless it's more convenient to other people if they can treat you like you're not plural at all, in which case it doesn't matter), never does anything challenging or weird or inconvenient unless other people benefit from it, never takes up space or celebrates their existence because they're only ever miserable in the ways other people enjoy watching, only ever parades their trauma for the public's entertainment without presenting anything based in systemic problems, and disappears the moment their suffering isn't inspirational or scientifically interesting.
Made a mistake, said the wrong thing, hurt someone, displeased a stranger? Too bad, palatable systems don't do that, and no one ever learns from mistakes. Get banned. Get harassed. Get fakeclaimed. I see it every day. I see it every week. Someone is always the butt of the joke, even in the inclusive community. Someone is always the scapegoat. Someone gets posted on a website and doxxed for the crime of existing inconveniently for the status quo.
It's bullshit.
None of us are "the good ones" to other people. None of us are as palatable as anyone wants to think we are. Bob on the street still sees us all as serial killers, permanent victims, liars, freaks, nutjobs, all of the above. Sally at the store thinks we're a conspiracy theory. Psychology professors still sometimes teach that the existence of any sort of plurality is a hoax (ask how I know). The spaces that are supposed to accept us still regularly tell us to shut up and go to therapy, always assuming that therapy matches our values and goals, that therapy is available at all. (And fuck you if you have trauma from psychiatry, apparently.)
I want a world where we stop beating the shit out of each other and ourselves trying to fit a mold that doesn't exist. I want to see the plural community start working together for once in our fucking lives instead of infighting over shit that Bob and Sally don't care about for the next twenty years.
So damn it, I've got your back. Let me know if you ever want to chat, or if you want backup contact info somewhere less likely to ban someone for being a trans woman in public.
System mapping is the process of making a model of your system in some way.
Many systems make system maps. A system list is a system map in one of its simplest forms, but there are a lot of other kinds of system maps that people might make to get more information. Some system maps might show internal structure and lines of communication. Some show relationships or opinions. Some show common themes and differences between system members. Etc.
There's really no wrong way to make a map. What matters is that the map is useful to you- it should give you information that helps you work with your system better. It might give you a better understanding of why your system works the way it does, or it might tell you who might need support or who might need to work on establishing communication.
Communication
Sometimes, it can be useful to map out who in your system can talk to whom. This is a very simple kind of map to make, and it gives you useful information about your system that ranges from "huh, these two can't reach each other" to "there's a gap here- are we missing someone?"
Lay out every known system member on a piece of paper. If two people can talk to each other, draw a line between them. If the communication is one-way only, draw an arrow. If two people can't reach each other, don't connect them. If two people can reach each other indirectly but you don't know who's linking them together like that, draw a line with a gap in it.
You might also add dotted lines for weak or unreliable communication, or other kinds of lines for other special cases.
Relationship
It can be helpful to know how different system members get along (or don't). Relationships in a system can be mapped with something similar to a shipping diagram, and looking at the resulting map can make it very obvious if someone is overall liked, disliked, rejected, etc. It can also point out interesting patterns in who gets along and who doesn't.
Draw your system members arranged in a circle. Then, draw color-coded (or otherwise coded- make a key) lines between members that like each other, dislike each other, or have other important opinions about each other.
Structure
Sometimes, drawing the arrangement of your system can teach you how to work with it better.
If two people feel close to each other (e.g. they may have unusually easy communication, common interests or themes, common issues, etc.), then draw them close together. If two people feel far apart (e.g. poor communication, lots of differences and disagreements, don't really understand each other), then draw them far apart.
By the end of this, you have a map that shows you which people are clustered together and which people are disconnected, rejected, or otherwise pushed away. This can be very useful when trying to bring any cast-out people closer to the rest of your group, as it can make isolation very obvious.
This kind of map can be very abstract sometimes. We have a few structure maps that we've made over the years, and they probably don't make a ton of sense to people that aren't in our group, but they've helped us a lot.
You might also consider mapping associations. What colors are associated with your system members? Do they have common themes or imagery? Does everyone associated with the color green have a hard time talking to people associated with blue? Are powerful people usually associated with certain species?
Timeline
Sometimes, it can be helpful to make a timeline of important life events that happened to your group. If you have guesses about when some people showed up or changed, then putting those dates on the timeline can give you insight into what those people might be dealing with.
Content warning for trauma, suicide and egocide, and general unpleasantry if you read this one. We censored the most sensitive parts (and those we'd simply prefer to keep private), but it's still heavier than the other maps in this post.
Headspace
If your headspace is possible to map, then sometimes mapping it can teach you something about your system. It doesn't have to be very detailed to help, nor does it have to be entirely logical.
We don't have the one headspace map we've made in easy reach, unfortunately, and it's out of date. That said, conventional land mapping tricks will often work for places in headspace. Recreating headspace in a game like The Sims or Minecraft is also an option.
If multiple places overlap, then consider making a pop-up map or otherwise representing that overlap- it can be useful information. Likewise, if parts of headspace correspond to parts of your body or parts of your system, then it can be helpful to make a note about that.
Adapting for Large and Complex Systems
Larger systems may not all fit on one piece of paper. Complex systems may not fit on a 2D surface at all- there might be layers involved that need a 3D surface. System mapping still works for these cases, but you may need to approach it a little differently.
Try mapping your system's subgroups instead of individual people.
Try making multiple maps for different "regions" of the system. Consider including information on how those maps connect together.
Make good use of color coding and keys to pack more information into a smaller space.
Try mapping by using digital drawing programs and tools. A digital canvas can be much larger than a physical one.
Try mapping in 3D. Make a sculpture, stack sheets of paper, fold the paper, use the back side, draw a 3D shape, and experiment with other ways of arranging the map to better reflect your situation.
Use multiple kinds of map. Each map is likely to have part of the overall picture, and looking at them together is likely to give you useful information about how it all fits together.
Finally: system mapping is not required. It can be helpful for some systems, but it won't work for everyone, and some systems find that it harms them or makes their lives harder to live. If mapping doesn't work for you, then that's okay- there are plenty of other ways to get to know your system better. Do what works.
% the stupidest shit can make our host feel insecure about their Plurality but on the other paw I'm probably not helping by wishing we were less functional bc i want to keep things only to myself and shit
