Blue is Dead @insomnia-and-insanity - Tumblr Blog

Listen, it’s not a sexual thing, I love Lady Dimitrescu because of the POWER she radiates. Now that’s the kind of power I can RESPECT! I respect her so hard, I cannot wait for the day she picks me up by my throat and chucks me across the room again. Maybe I’ll be lucky one day and she’ll crush my skull between her enormous thighs. I’d like to reiterate that this is in no way a sexual thing, it never was. It’s all about POWER and RESPECT for my extremely tall vampire queen

y4mmyb0y

343789359

remember when you were 16 and if you slept past 10 am adults would act like you had murdered someone or were dying

peoplehood-deactivated20211003

🍲

A nice hot bowl of soup for my mutuals!

glumshoe

I dreamt about a Narnia-like faerie land that grew parallel to our own, and which was slowly succumbing to the corruption of a sinister outside force.

Within the dream, I was a girl of about 13 or 14, and had a brother a few years older than me. My mother had brought us back to live in Ohio after my father’s death. Our memories of the other world faded until we forgot it completely, and had no idea that our parents had been the first king and queen as appointed by the gods or spirits or whatever.

Little men and strange creatures began appearing around my home, half-disguised as mundane things, and would attempt to startle me and jog my memory. I was terrified of them until finally one got fed up and decided to just kidnap me to faerieland and then explain things. I still remembered nothing, to his disappointment and frustration—but I was still willing to help in whatever way I could.

They revealed that without a king or queen, there had been no one to use the Macguffin that kept their world safe, so they needed me or my mother to return and unlock the magical self-defense program that would ward off the demonic encroachment. I told them that this was a problem to take up with their gods, not me, because I was fundamentally opposed to monarchy and inherited governance, and that any divine power forcing them to recognize made-up royal bloodlines in order to survive was not worth worshipping and should be overthrown.

Their counterpoint to my blasphemy was that, whatever my own attitudes towards monarchy, surely it was Also Bad to simply allow the Forces of Evil to invade and impose their own tyrannical rule.

I then asked them why they didn’t turn to my mother or brother instead. My mother, they informed me, was so crushed and embittered that she wanted nothing to do with their entire world anymore. My brother was an unsuitable ruler because he was gay and therefore would unlikely to secure a royal bloodline.

“Um,” I said. “I’m also gay? My parents had two gay kids. It’s the only thing he and I have in common.”

This shocked and stunned them. I explained that I also had no desire for children and would never be pregnant.

“You’ll change your mind,” they insisted. “For duty. Right? I mean, you’re just a kid... you couldn’t know that yet...”

“I’m not really a child,” I said, suddenly careening towards lucidity. “It’s just for the dream.”

I did eventually meet the gods, who were annoying but patient with me. They wanted me to witness the Evil Forces for myself. There were laser-shooting flying drones that forced us to wear light-bending cloaking camouflage devices to take on the color and texture of trees, slimy tendriled monsters that came up out of the pipes, and cackling chubracabra things that leapt from roof to roof.

Eventually I agreed to step in as their temporary ruler. They had a brief, practical coronation and then showed me how to use the world-saving macguffin. I was immediately horrified—it worked but seeking out Evil everywhere in the world and destroying it.

“But what is ‘evil’?” I wanted to know. No one could give me a definitive answer. The idea of Evil as some kind of substance or objective truth disturbed me. I imagined incinerating people a thousand miles away in the middle of their daily lives for no other reason than my Cleansing Machine detected too much sin in their hearts and exploded them from the inside.

Ultimately I realized how the machine worked. The gods had created it not to eliminate some objective substance of Evil, because they could not find or detect such a substance themselves—instead, it was programmed to respond to the subjective moral standards of an individual, and had appointed my family as the sole caretakers of this horrible machine in the hopes that this would ensure consistency and harmony and keep the entire realm on the same ethical page.

I also realized what had happened to my father. He had recognized moral impurities inside himself, no greater or lesser than those of his enemies, and had attempted to turn the device inward to purify himself rather than murder hordes of people for committing thoughtcrime.

I don’t know if the dream had a real ending or resolution but I do know that I eventually found my brother and we both broke down crying. He was played by a younger Daniel Levy and I told him that was cool.

glumshoe

this is what I get for going to bed immediately after reblogging posts dunking on Joseph Campbell and complaining to my friend about how Inherently Evil species in fiction seem like they are narratively useful but ask so many unanswered cosmological questions that leave a story and its universe feeling cheap and unsatisfying and feel so out of place in fiction that has otherwise expansive worldbuilding

plaguedocboi

No I will not remove my ominous mask and black cloak I don’t care that it’s hot if I get heatstroke I get heatstroke

kalichnikov

im not gonna release your soul from my magic gem. so stop asking

yellowmonday-deactivated2022120

i DID see people on tiktok saying that we shouldn’t care about palestine because they’re conservative and anti lgbt and a whole bunch of shit and. for real? for real? THAT is touch grass. THAT is go outside and touch grass. zero compassion zero consideration for real people ZERO brain function in fact. like you know there ARE gay people in palestine? like if texas was getting air raided would you say fuck texans, theyre all republican? actually dont answer that lmfao we already saw it happen with the power outages. people will generalize and people will condemn without nuance or scrutiny. no sense of value for human life. who gives a shit about other people lol

guitarbeard

Guy who hates magic so much, I mean absolutely fucking detests it with all his heart, that it just has no effect when used on him

guitarbeard

"Magic is fucking stupid, you've gotta be the lamest dork alive to use it" *Wizard on the verge of tears after failing 8 consecutive times to cast a lightning bolt on this guy* "No it's.... no it's not...."

myleftpinkytoe

@probablybadrpgideas

probablybadrpgideas

This is how flail snails work - Paper

vensosaurus

normal-horoscopes

You don’t actually believe lead can be turned to gold, right?

SEE HERES THE THING

IT CAN

ALCHEMISTS HAVE HADRON COLLIDERS NOW

anarchocunt

It has happened Anon

screensavorstudios

Hold up, you didn’t highlight that last part? The part about how Soviets ACCIDENTALLY Turned lead shielding into gold with an experimental nuclear reactor???

xerohourcheese

There is a ‘however’, however.

Due to the processes used, the resultant Gold is usually highly radioactive.

Or, if you prefer to use a more, arcane, vernacular, Cursed!

normal-horoscopes

YOURE JUST JEALOUS OF MY MICRON THIN LAYER OF FRESHLY TRANSMUTED GOLD

cluegrrl

It also cost more to power up the reactor long enough to make the gold than the gold is remotely worth.

normal-horoscopes

HEY THE TASK WAS “TRANSMUTE GOLD” NOBODY EVER SAID IT HAD TO BE COST EFFECTIVE

dduane

(chortle) Somebody remind me which SF writer, years and YEARS back, suggested that the reason possession of fairy gold was deadly was exactly for this reason…?

littlepinkbeast

Closest I know of isn’t fairy or transmuted gold, but Poul Anderson’s Three Hearts and Three Lions had the “curse” on plunderers of a sun-struck giant be the result of the carbon in the giant turning into radioactive silicon and irradiating anyone who went near enough to take the giant’s gold.

jumpingjacktrash

el dorado, labeled THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR

someemochick

plaguedoctormemes

Big evil Re8 lady and new castlevania season. This years for all the blood suckers and the blood sucker lovers out there

hartigays

every serial killer documentary is just exactly this

glumshoe

I’m glad that Indiana finally has its first national park and that it’s the one mostly known for having sand dunes that eat children.

pishposh-haberdash

how, pray tell, does a dune eat A Child

glumshoe

Imagine that you’re a big pile of sand by the shore of Lake Michigan, between Gary and Michigan City. Your name is Mount Baldy, and you’re a popular tourist destination at what is now Indiana Dunes National Park.

For a huge pile of tiny rocks, you live a surprisingly nomadic lifestyle. More than a hundred years of tourism and foot traffic has destroyed much of the native grass that kept you stationary. You are now what they call a “wandering dune”, as wind off the lake slowly but steadily pushes your tremendous bulk a little further inland every year.

As you move, you gradually engulf everything in your path—trees, buildings, rocks, hills, your own parking lot—everything. You are an unstoppable force, like some kind of gigantic gelatinous cube, but you’re still very popular with visitors.

In 2013, you suddenly eat a child. It’s a surprising move on your part—dry quicksand isn’t supposed to be a real natural phenomenon. I mean, what is this, a 1960’s action movie?

One moment, a family from Illinois is cheerfully climbing your slopes. The next, the 6 year old boy suddenly vanishes without warning, leaving no trace. Would-be rescuers dig in the sand where he disappeared until their hands are bleeding. Geologists insist that he must have wandered off, because enormous piles sand physically cannot form hollows or pockets within themselves—but three hours later, he is found, unconscious but alive, buried almost twelve feet deep in the sand.

The current leading geological theory as to how this happened is that the organic material you engulf, like trees, slowly decompose beneath your slopes, leaving behind unstable voids held together only by the fragile remains of the decayed material. When these voids are walked over, they collapse, forming sudden sinkholes that can swallow visitors whole. The rules that typically govern stationary dunes, or wandering dunes in areas that are not forested, no longer apply to you. You are unpredictable and dangerous and have remained closed to visitors except on guided hikes ever since.

world-heritage-posts

world heritage post

aieeeee

So this sand dune just… what, defies the laws of physics for sand?

glumshoe

Nope–here is an illustration I just made that might explain it better:

woodelf68

That’s the stuff of horror movies; I can’t believe the kid didn’t die.

glumshoe

Yeah—amazingly he made a full recovery. I would expect someone to suffer at least some brain damage after that long with so little oxygen, but he got super lucky.