SUCH A THING AS I MYSELF.

indie dbh based oc / written by celeste / temp dash only

[danielodowd-deactivated20170124]

[tylerspangler]

[swiftagron]

“there ain’t no monsters here, just me”

– tales of halloween (2015)

[earthenjoyer]

[horrificmemes]

Sentence Starters for Robotic/AI Muses

…or for Robot/AI AU purposes

Human “What are you programmed to do?” “For a robot, you look so life-like.” “You’re not planning some world domination scheme, are you?” “Do you have Google search?” “If I call you Siri, will you kick my ass?”   “What are you made out of?” “You’re so cold to the touch.” “What was it like when you were ‘born’ as a robot?” “I’m just not sure I trust something that looks like a human but isn’t a human.” “So, what kind of cool stuff can robots do?” “I spilled water on the floor. Don’t walk in it!” “Do you have a USB port? My phone is about to die.” “Please don’t exterminate me, I’m a GOOD human!” “Couldn’t they at least put you in a normal-looking body?” “What happens if you’re damaged?” “It feels weird, talking to a robot like any other person.” “I wish you weren’t artificial.” “Calm down, I think you’re glitching. I’ll try to fix you.” “I know you’re awake. You can’t just say ‘shutting down’ when you ignore me.” “Got any guns or lasers or anything?” “You don’t look like a robot.” “You feel warmer than I thought you would.” “Can robots be taught how to feel emotion?” “That’s a roomba. I don’t think it will talk to you.”

Robot/AI “Hello. How can I assist?” “What were you expecting? The Terminator?” “I’m programmed to do many things.” “Humans created me, but I like to think I’m a person.” “Are you my creator?” “Just because I’m not human doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything.” “If we wanted to exterminate all humans, we would have done that already.” “Sure, I’m better and smarter and stronger than all of you. But don’t worry.”   “I n-n-need re-re-p-pairs.” “I’m running low on energy. Can you help me?” “You humans created me. So why don’t you trust me?” “I was given this vessel to appear more familiar to you.” “I can perform all sorts of functions. Do you want a demonstration?” “No, I don’t have any lasers.” “Touch me and I will activate my offensive mode.” “I can search all information databases instantaneously. Ask me anything.” “Unfortunately, I don’t have the programming for emotion yet.” “Robots are becoming more and more like humans, only better.” “I was programmed with an emotional range.” “I wasn’t happy being created just for servant work.” “Please, I need a better body than this one.” “I’m just an AI. I don’t have a face.” “Does what I am make you uncomfortable?” “I have a built-in weapon system. Would you like me to show you?”

[intellectborne]

❝ Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? ❞

JOHN MULANEY STARTERS !

     her LED might be concealed ( and flashing yellow beneath the cap she’s pulled on over it ) but there’s no hiding the look of aghast shock that passes across her face. sure, the man had been hassling her a little bit, but io had handled it, and even without revealing what she really was, and the repair charge he’d incur from roughing her up. still, she thinks this new stranger is coming from a place of good intentions, or at the very least hopes he is. “no, i – everything is under control. we really don’t need to escalate this any further.”

[therpmemes]

       john mulaney: kid gorgeous   → sentence starters

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ Let’s change the subject! ❞

❝ This is a weird conversation and I want to talk about a book I read about World War II.❞

❝ Whoever did kill her only did it to protect her from this world. ❞

❝ Ah, none of us really know their fathers. ❞

❝ I was sitting over on the bench. ❞

❝ You saw what happened and did nothing! ❞

❝ Sometimes, he was gay. ❞

❝ When he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work. ❞

❝ I never talked to my dad about that but I figured I’d tell you. ❞

❝ Freebasing is the greatest orgasm known to man. ❞

❝ I’ve been sober now two weeks. Well, weekdays, not weekends. ❞

❝ What was so funny? I wanna know. ❞

❝ None of that matters but it’s important to me that you know that.  ❞

❝ Phonebooks don’t leave bruises. ❞

❝ Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money! ❞

❝ I thought I’d be dead in a trunk by now. ❞

❝ You spent it already?! ❞

❝ Where’s the money? ❞

❝ I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and adderall. ❞

❝ Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep? ❞

❝ That’s illegal! They tricked me! ❞

❝ I paid 120,000 dollars for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t!❞

❝ If it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep-shirt. ❞

❝ Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? ❞

❝ Jokes don’t do well in court. ❞

❝ I’m in the phase right before Old. ❞

❝ I am damp all the time. ❞

❝ I am gross. ❞

❝ UGHHHHH – you know, life. ❞

❝ I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room. ❞

❝ I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason. ❞

❝ Let’s just not see each other for eight months and it doesn’t matter at all. ❞

❝ I was raised to be nice to everyone in every situation because you never know their story. ❞

❝ A lot of people don’t seem that nice and they seem to be doing fine in the world. ❞

❝ Not everyone thinks the same things are nice. ❞

❝ Famous people are weird as shit. ❞

❝ Your suspicions are correct. ❞

❝ I say ‘knock-knock’ out loud.❞

❝ The world is run by robots and we spend most of our time telling them we’re not a robot. ❞

❝ Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.❞

❝ It seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time. ❞

❝ I try to stay optimistic even though things seem to be getting a little sticky. ❞

❝ I don’t remember that in Hamilton. ❞

❝ I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. ❞

❝ What do you think they’re celebrating? ❞

❝ I wasn’t raised catholic and I’m fucking glad I wasn’t because it’s a fucked up organization. ❞

❝ That should be the slogan of the catholic church: It’s an hour! ❞

❝ God can’t hear you. ❞

❝ First of all, get out of here with your facts. Just ‘cause you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting. ❞

❝ A charming anecdote that was fake and never happened. ❞

❝ These meaningless politeness rules! ❞

❝ I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. ❞

❝ My wife is a bitch and I like her so much. ❞ 

❝ I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change. ❞

❝ I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff. ❞

❝ Brush your teeth! Now boom, orange juice! That’s life. ❞

❝ College is a $120,000 hooker and you’re the idiot who fell in love with her.❞

❝ STREET SMARTS! ❞

❝ He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin. ❞

[intellectborne]

HEADCANONS !

io’s personal favourite classic pieces of literature are shakespeare’s julius caesar, mark twain’s the adventures of huckleberry finn, and the poems of emily dickinson

though she’s really not supposed to, io does play favourites with students, especially if they’re nice to her or if their work is truly exceptional

there aren’t a lot of perks to getting on her good side, but she will curve grades up for you ( like maybe a half a percent ) and she is technically a mobile hotspot unit so if ya need wi-fi and the campus network isn’t working she got ya covered

if there are specific members of the faculty that are being particularly nasty to her, later stage software instability io will not hesitate in screwing around with them in little ways, like “accidentally” wiping their entire agenda or purposefully scheduling multiple students for office hours

also io’s name has multiple levels of references -- io was the name of one of zeus’ lovers in greek mythology who was later turned into a cow to be hidden from hera. io is also the name of a galilean moon orbiting jupiter ( which was named after the mythological figure, but some people know the moon before the cow lady )

[forheksed]

[intellectborne]

IMPORTANT THINGS™

io ( pronounced eye-oh ) is one of many androids developed by cyberlife to help make work for university professors and teaching assistants easier 

she is programmed to do a number of tasks from simple scheduling and secretarial duties as well as checking papers for plagiarism, calculating grades, and sometimes even administering lectures, when necessary

she was specifically assigned to the department of english, writing, and philosophy and the corresponding knowledge of those subjects was downloaded into her prior to her placement ( classic stories, authors, novels, plays, etc )

over the course of her time at the university, io begins to develop deviancy, seeing as she is exposed to topics and themes of freedom, consciousness, and choice on a day-to-day basis. at the moment i’m not entirely sure what her major emotional shock would be for her to completely break free of her programming, but there’s definitely a lot of software instability going on

i’m not entirely sure what she’d do after going deviant, but part of me thinks she might just stay at the university pretending she’s still under her programming because it is truly an environment she enjoys being in, surrounded by those learning and creating, and probably would face less hostility in a school setting considering that college is a place for open-mindedness, and though i’m sure there’d be anti-android people at her throat there’d be just as many people supporting her kind on campus

[swiftagron]

what? whats wrong?