empty silence

just stuff no one cares about but I have to write it down, to prevent myself from bursting. just random late night thoughts that keep me up all night.

[mydarksun-shine]

[inthedarkcloset]

I have some very close friends. I have a loving boyfriend and a loving family. A lot of people like me and are nice to me. Im always surrounded by them.

I've never felt so lonly

[shitthehousessay]

Ravenclaw: I know nobody likes me.

Ravenclaw: Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?

[inthedarkcloset]

mood: even to sad for tumblr.

[inthedarkcloset]

what is the worst thing you have ever done to please another person?

Mine is that I hid my true personality. I feel like I betrayed myself

[inthedarkcloset]

Blood is thicker than water.

i hate when peole say that to me. Its physically correct, but metaphorically not. Not for me or my so called family. I wish people would stop applying their ideas of family on other people. Why? Let me give you an example: i found out my uncle has passed away 3 days after his funeral over facebook. No one told me. So no, my family is not like blood. They are poison.

[inthedarkcloset]

i'm afraid of being annoying and being ignored at the same time

[inthedarkcloset]

it is always hard to find out, that a person you trusted did not care but just was curios about your story

[inthedarkcloset]

i am a contradiction in myself

I am happy. Happy that I am able to keep up my safty-wall and play the role of a person I pretend to be. I feel comfortable and safe in that role.

But I am also sad. Sad that no one can or wants to see the hidden things behind the wall. I want some one to see the things, I despretly try to hide. I want some one to notice, that I just act perfectly.

[inthedarkcloset]

I burry all my feelings deep inside me, so that they can only destroy me. I know how painful they are. I dont want anyone else to feel this pain.