'it's my life' - angela giarratana
prompt: angela speaks on a podcast about her college days which causes the internet go crazy about your relationship that ended 10 years ago. (social media au)
a/n: pics are not 100% accurate obviously but use your imagination pls. this ended up being so much longer than i intended as i became really obsessed with adding the social media aspects, there was at least 10 other 'posts' i was thinking of adding. but i really love the way this came out and i hope ya'll will too.
"Hi everyone, My name is Amanda Lehan-Canto and today on 'It's My Life' we have Angela Giarratana, here to talk about, you guessed it her life" Amanda speaks into the podcast microphone, her excitement spreading through the studio as she hosts her very good friend and first ever guest on her new podcast.
"Hiiiiiiii" Angela speaks, waving excitedly at the camera.
"For those of you who are yet to see the first episode or read the description, this podcast is dedicated to giving people in the Film and Production industry a space to share their stories on their own terms" Amanda explains with passion in her voice, this is an idea that she had been working on for a long time and having Angela on is sure to be a great start as she has millions of stories to tell and is an open book.
“I am so excited for this whole project Amanda, it's such an awesome concept and something I know you've been working so hard on. And I'm so excited to be your first guest” Angela smiles, the two of them falling into the flow of conversation, getting into the deep details of Angela’s life and how she got to where she is now.
“So Angela, onto your college days, you studied at UCLA and I know you have many stories to tell so I’m going to let you take it away” Amanda states, the two of them had briefly gone through Angela's childhood and teenage days, how she came to love acting and theater and what she thinks her childhood self would think of how her life had turned out to this point.
“Oh I have stories alright” Angela wiggles her eyebrows, ready to tell stories from what were some of the best days of her life. “My improv and comedy group was really influential in my college days, they were the people I spent most of my time with and I am still close with almost everyone from that group to this day”
Amanda nods as Angela speaks, naturally taking interest and working in her mind to find the questions that would captivate her audience. “Was there anyone that really stuck out to you from that group?”
Angela thinks for a moment, a light frown forming at her lips when her mind settles on you. Though it’s only seconds of time, she feels like she is reliving every memory that the two of you shared together including the heartbreak that she had endured almost 10 years ago.
She recovers quickly, a bright smile overtaking her frown as she begins to speak. “During that time I was really close with Y/N, obviously she is a super huge star now, she has been in Marvel movies and many other incredible things. Seeing her reach global stardom has been kind of crazy but really awesome to me”
“Do you feel like she is still the same as she was in college or that she’s changed a lot since then?” Amanda is genuinely curious seeing Angela had never really mentioned her friendship with you, as much as she is trying to get the best interview for her podcast.
“I don’t know her now, we haven’t spoken since a few months after graduating. From what I’ve seen her acting has continued to improve over the years and she has been becoming the star I always knew that she would be. But on a personal level the person I know her as is probably not who she is now, the memories I have of her frozen in that period of time” Angela concludes, the conversation moving on swiftly.
yourusername Summer days drifting away
angelagiovanagiarratana Grease mentioned!!!
-> yourusername Only because you wouldn't stop yelling at me to use that as a caption
-> collegefriendusername1 That's so Angie
collegefriendusername2 I'm coming next time
-> yourusername Yessss group lake trip
yourfanusername Y/N's college days were so cute
smoshfanusername1 Anyone else here after the 'It's My Life' podcast??????
-> smoshfanusername2 Yessssssss
yournameandangelafanusername oH MY GOD! I can't believe I didn't know my favs were close in college
“Now it’s no secret that when you are in college you drink and party and all those fun things” Amanda speaks, steering the conversation.
“You sound like my mom” Angela laughs, “And are you making sure you are staying safe? Using protection?” she mocks, making herself laugh even more.
“Rude!” Amanda puffs out, laughing a bit herself.
“But yes I did drink and have some wild nights during college” Angela answers, awaiting Amanda’s response allowing her to progress with the interview.
“Are there any substantial nights that you remember? One that shaped who you are today, or your college experience?”
Angela again only thinks of you, she had many drunk nights out during her UCLA days, many of them without you and more crazy than the ones that you shared but her mind keeps pushing her back to you. She gives in to the thoughts and decides to tell that story of your first kiss, a story that she hasn’t told publicly before or to anyone in quite a few years.
“The night that my ex-girlfriend and I first kissed keeps coming to my mind” The sad smile tugging harshly at her lips as she speaks those words.
“Ex-girlfriend? It’s the first time I’m hearing of this” Amanda explains, clearly surprised but not trying to derail the conversation but focusing too much on the fact that Angela is admitting publicly to having dated a woman.
“I don’t really talk about her much, it was really a college thing. Maybe it being our first experiences living away from home and finding comfort in each other made us think that a relationship was what we needed from each other but it didn’t last so I just never really have reason to bring it up”
“Well fair enough, you have bought up your first kiss though, would you like to elaborate on that?” Amanda continues professional interview style questions, not allowing herself to get hung up on the personal aspect of the situation which is wanting to know each and every detail of this elusive relationship that Angela had.
“Yeah of course, we both had feelings for each other for a little while both of us were too afraid to admit them. But one night we were partying and apparently we just kind of started kissing and never stopped” Angela laughs at the thought, the two of you being yelled at by your friends to stop kissing, you stumbling back to your dorm together, falling onto your bed where you both ended up sleeping that night even though Angela's bed was just barely across the room.
“We kissed a lot that night, like a scary amount. I remember that all of our friends had at least 20 photos each, from different angles and locations. That night is particularly memorable not for the night itself but for the morning after, we woke up in bed together, I somehow didn’t realise and had commented on an instagram post of us from the night before telling her to come to me not realising that she was laying in bed next to me” There is a soft smile that frames the way that Angela speaks about these moments, she clearly holds them dearly, wishing that everything could have stayed the way that it was in moments like that one. “She tapped on my shoulder causing me to turn around and we cuddled into each other, that is where she asked me to be her girlfriend, which is why that night drinking is one that I would consider the most influential from my college days”
“Wow” Amanda says, “That really did change the whole trajectory of your college experience. Have you ever regretted getting into that relationship seeing as it didn’t work out?” She asks sincerely.
“I try never to regret anything and I certainly don’t regret that. The relationship taught me so much about love and people and even myself. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t had those experiences”.
yourusername You know what they say about drunk actions
angelagiovanagiarratana Sober thoughts babyyyyyyyyyyyy
-> yourusername Are you still drunk my love?
-> angelagiovanagiarratana Why don't you come and find out
-> yourusername As I'm laying right beside you in bed
-> angelagiovanagiarratana Shhhh don't tell them that
smoshfanusername Even if I hadn't watched the podcast I'd be able to tell that this break up hURT!
-> angelafanusername RIGHT??!?!!?? I feel so bad for Angela, even though it been 10 years it's so obvious that the pain still feels fresh whenever she remembers Y/N
Amanda and Angela pause briefly after the admittance of Angela having a girlfriend to regroup and discuss boundaries for the rest of the episode so as to not make Angela uncomfortable.
“I hope that if you feel comfortable enough you and I can talk about this some more once we have finished filming, for now though are you okay to continue talking about your relationship and college for the podcast or would you want to steer away from that part of the conversation?” Amanda asks, the two of them having stepped out of the studio to talk privately.
“I’m happy to continue talking about it, I think it’s a valuable conversation to have and something I’ve kept to myself for long enough, there’s no other place that I’d want to break this news than on your podcast Mandy” Angela speaks to her friend, visibly relax once she agrees to let this part of her life come to light.
“Can I ask who your girlfriend was?” Amanda asks excitedly.
“On the podcast? No. Here and now just us two? Of course” Angela is still not ready to tell the world who it was that she was with in college, admitting she even had a girlfriend was scary enough but she knows that if she told the world it was you that the whole thing would blow up more than it is already going to.
“I respect that. So for personal reference, who was your girlfriend?”
“Y/N” Angela states simply, bracing for the reaction that she already knows Amanda is going to have.
“WHAT?! No way!” There is no response from Angela after this. There are many unanswered questions that she knows she will have to face later but for now there is a podcast that she has to finish filming.
“Something I think would be really valuable to talk about is your experience being in a relationship with a woman during college, what were the responses from the people around you?” Amanda asked, transitioning seamlessly back into interviewer mode.
“All of our friends were really supportive” Angela laughs a little, remembering all of the crazy instagram posts from that time, college friends taking any opportunity possible to post photos they had taken of the two of you. “They were constantly posting us on social media and really treating us normally as both their friends and a couple. It was something from that time which I’m really thankful for”
She pauses for a moment, contemplating speaking a bit more deeply about the subject. “It was my first relationship with a woman and I spent a lot of time questioning my identity: if I was gay or if I had just fallen in love with this person who just so happened to be a girl. Having our friends be really open to us took away a lot of the doubt and shame that I felt internally and made me feel, for a lack of better words, normal”
“I am really glad that you had those supportive people around you, and for you Angela and everyone watching at home, you are normal, dating who you love is not weird, disgusting or wrong” Amanda adds, trying her best to be sensitive but also spread the message of allyship and supporting the LGBTQIA+ community.
“Thank you for saying that Amanda. On that though, not everyone was supportive and in this world not everyone always will be. There were a few people around, especially a girl in our dorm block who was very vocal in her hatred for us as a couple and the LGBT community as a whole but the love that we received from our friends and family really drowned out those few hateful people”
collegefriendusername1 Goodnight girls
angelagiovanagiarratana WHEN DID YOU TAKE THIS?
-> collegefriendusername When I tried to get into MY OWN bed and was forced to take the couch
yourusername We're so cute heheheh
-> angelagiovanagiarratana You're the cutest my love
-> yourusername No you're the cutest my love
-> collegefriendusername2 OMG not this again
collegeenemyusername EW how is anyone okay with these disgusting homo's
THIS POST HAS BEEN DELETED
“Let’s get into some work talk” Amanda states cheerily, moving the podcast along. “And by work I mean student short films. One of your most popular ones was your senior film titled ‘It’s always been you’. Can you tell us a little bit about it?”
“Oh wow” a mixture between a chuckle and a sigh leaves Angela's lips at the mention of the extremely personal and now deeply upsetting short film that you and she created together during your senior year of college. “I didn’t know that many people knew about that film, or that it is popular.”
“Babe that sapphics are completely obsessed, I’m ‘chronically offline’ and even I know that” Amanda laughs, trying to lighten the mood in the room.
“Well that is news to me. But yeah that film was my senior film specifically and it was such an awesome project. I worked really closely with each member of production throughout the entire thing and chose to act in it myself” Angela speaks, she knows that she is holding back, that saying it was yours and her story would be too much. “It actually won ‘Best Film’ and the ‘Entertainment Studies Award’ at the UCLA Film Fest and was entered into a few other film festivals including both Cannes and Sundance so that was a whirlwind of a time, all of this happening around the time that I was graduating”
“It’s really impressive. How was it acting alongside Y/N before she got famous?” Amanda asks, she knows she is pushing it a little with the question but Angela is a professional so she knows how to answer a question the way that she would want and avoid any personal details that she deems ‘too much’.
“Y/N has always been a phenomenal actress and I told her that many times during college. Getting to work with her was such a great experience and there is no one else in the world that I would have wanted to star with me in that film” Angela answers easily.
angelagiovanagiarratana "It was always you" can be streamed on Youtube and Vimeo. UCLA Senior short film. (caption has been edited)
initial caption read: My favourite on and off screen kissing partner. Our short film, "It was always you" is out now, you can watch it on Youtube and Vimeo and also come support us at FilmFest during the first week of April. Thank you to our writers, producer, director, all of the cast and crew and the community that we fostered during every stage of creation. This is the most amazing project I've ever been a part of and I'm so excited that mine and Y/N's vision was able to come to life like this. Getting to share and act in a personal story about queer love is such an honour. Love is Love.
yourusername Best film I will ever be in
-> angelagiovanagiarratana You are going to be in blockbusters, don't speak too soon.
-> yourusername Nothing will ever top this
collegefriendusername You know you are meant to stop kissing when the director yells cut right?
-> yourusername I've never heard that rule before.. Sounds fake
-> collegefriendusername We have almost 3 hours of cut kissing footage
-> yournameandangelafanusername RELEASE THE FOOTAGE OMG
smoshfanusername1 I watched the film and there is no way that there wasn't an extremely personal aspect to every moment.. Either that or these two are the MOST incredible actors of this generation
-> smoshfanusername2 I'm pretty sure both of those statements are true
The two continue to speak, some more stories of Angela’s college days being told, including ones of the many different comedy groups and studies that she completed. The questions being asked are a lot easier to answer than ones that pertain to you, her ex girlfriend.
She is distracted though, clearly having something on her mind and that something is you. She didn’t realise that doing this podcast would bring up so many memories for her and she definitely didn’t expect to be bringing you up in it.
The relationship the two of you shared is something that she had been able to keep to herself for many years, she has dodged and avoided questions that could be answered by talking about you. For some reason though she wanted to bring you up, she could have easily avoided it, not needing to mention that drunk night that you two shared but she wanted to. She had been holding onto the details of your relationship for so long, not talking to anyone about it, especially not the people who know her now. She had tried to leave that part of her life behind her many times but now that she had mentioned it she felt good, lighter even.
While she hadn’t and would never share every detail with the world she was somewhat excited that others would finally know a little bit more about her college days and the relationship that changed her entire life.
yourusername New year, same love
angelagiovanagiarratana My new years kiss forever
collegefriendusername You really 'Yes and'ed yourself into a relationship
-> yourusername Yes and it is the best thing I've ever done
smoshfanusername1 Who's here in 2025???
-> yournameandangelafanusername ME! I'm still in shock that these two were a couple I would have never expected it
-> smoshfanusername1 I really am surprised that Y/N has kept all their posts together, there is no doubt from these that they were in a relationship
smoshfanusername2 I would do ANYTHING to know the details of this relationship
-> collegeenemyusername I lived in their dorm block in college, I'm going to go live with all the details I have
“Something from college we haven’t had the chance to talk about yet is SPRING BREAK” Amanda yells the words in a valley girl accent, causing herself and Angela to giggle together. “Please tell me you have some fun spring break stories?”
“I don’t really, unfortunately. I only went on a spring break vacation one time and it was with my partner at the time. It was in senior year and the two of us had settled significantly really beginning to focus on our careers and what we were going to do once we finished college” Angela admits, she’s not sure if it will be caught out but she purposely changed from saying girlfriend to partner, leaving out the detail that this spring break trip is the one where she proposed to you.
“That’s such an Angela thing to do, did you drink on this vacation at all or was this an all work and no play vacation?” Amanda asks.
“We drank lightly on one night, a few glasses of champagne” Angela stated, those few glasses of champagne being your celebratory drinks from the night you got engaged.
“Looking back it is kind of hilarious, we went to Cancun, which is a spring break party destination. Everyone else around us at the resort was blackout drunk every single day but we sat on the beach practicing lines together but it was a really nice time and I would say that those days of practice helped both of us book some pretty awesome things”
“You went to Cancun and didn’t party?! Oh yeah wow that really is something you would do” Amanda laughs at the situation knowing that when Angela is locked in on work nothing else in the world matters.
yourusername Cancun cutie
angelagiovanagiarratana Spring break done right
-> yourusername Best vacation I've ever been on
collegefriendusername Can't believe y'all didn't invite me
-> yourusername We are too boring for you babes
smoshfanusername IS THAT A RING ON Y/N'S FINGER? THEY WERE ENGAGED????
-> yournameandangelafanusername HOLY SHIT THAT ABSOLUTELY LOOKS LIKE AN ENGAGEMENT RING, THE LORE GOES CRAZY AND WE ARE NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY KNOW IT I FEAR
“Let’s wrap up the college talk, with graduation and some post college talk” Amanda starts. “At the time of graduating what did your life look like?”
“So when I was graduating I really got stuck into auditions and trying to find work in the industry, I did a few commercials and had small TV appearances and I also did a lot of local theater. It was probably the busiest point in my life so far but I was having a great time doing what I love and really trying to find my way in the world.”
“Was there anything about becoming an ‘adult’ that really shocked you during this time?” Amanada asks, knowing that the transition from traditional schooling to trying to find your own way in the world is sometimes a really tough one.
“How much relationships change was the biggest one. I think while in school it was really easy to be with friends and my partner and that was able to be where my priorities were without it affecting my education or my future too much as we were all on the same page all the time. Once you leave that, and I think especially in the creative industry where people really take off in all different directions to find their path in life things really change.” Angela begins to answer, remembering the really hard parts of that period of her life where she didn’t see friends as much, everyone was busy or moving away, booking things or finding ways to survive, everything for her changed in an instant.
“When you were graduating how did you think your life would turn out? And do you think that reality has matched those thoughts?”
“A lot of things that have happened in my life since graduating I would have never expected. I knew at the time that the industry is tough, I also knew though that I wanted to be part of it more than anything and that I would be willing to work hard to make it however I could, to have the chance to do what I love. In that way I feel like I have lived up to what I thought I would be doing, if not actually moved beyond what I thought I could do. I’m really happy with where I am and the projects that I have and will be a part of and I work a lot but everyday feels like a blessing” Angela speaks a little more on the projects she is working on.
“The main difference would be my relationships, or especially my romantic relationship. When I graduated I really did see us staying together, our relationship lasting a lifetime, that didn’t happen though. We were living together for the first few months out of college, we had planned to support each other through auditions and castings and be at each other's shows and premieres. But that came to an end really quickly, the reality of adulthood caught up with us, sometimes for weeks at a time we would only see each other in passing and only talk via text. It put a large strain on our relationship and ultimately was one of the main reasons we broke up".
“Oh honey” Amanda sighs, while Angela is doing a great job of handling her emotions and not getting too upset her friend knows her very well and knows just how much she is hurting reliving the memories.
“It’s okay, everything happens for a reason and that's just how it was meant to be. Looking back though with the wisdom, knowledge and skills that I have now, I’m sure that we could have gotten through those times and if we had, I know that she would have been my forever. There was no bad blood between us, there was just a childish lack of time and patience that neither of us was able to see through at the time.”
yourusername This is just the beginning for us
angelagiovanagiarratana I can't wait to build a future with you
-> yourusername The world is all ours my love
collegefriendusername1 Cutiesssss. Photo creds to me!
-> yourusername Can't wait for you to take our wedding photos
-> collegefriendusername1 Of course!! Have to put my degree to use somehow
angelafanusername If only they knew that this would be the end...
angelagiovanagiarratana I'm sorry for bringing attention to our college days like this. I hope you know that this wasn't my intention.
-> yourusername No need to be sorry Angela, I will never regret this part of my life.
Once the podcast was released the internet exploded just a little. Fans of Angela and you scouring every inch of social media, finding twitter interactions, instagram comments, all of your old posts and even random photos of you both that had been posted on your families facebook's throughout the years.
While Angela hadn’t assumed this would happen she was at least prepared when it did, understanding what was going on and why everyone was going crazy. You on the other hand were not versed in social media as much these days, being busy constantly working. So when an influx of comments started popping up on your college instagram posts and news outlets began contacting you to make a comment on your relationship with Angela Giarratana, you were confused to say the least.
You followed the trail of everything that happened to a podcast that Angela was the guest on. Seeing Angela’s face pop up on your laptop screen made you feel a whole range of emotions. You sat and watched the whole thing being reminded of your college times and for the first time in quite awhile you missed her, you missed her more than you would probably be able to admit.
In a moment of potentially stupidity you decided to message her, to bridge the gap that you purposely created. You asked her if the two of you could talk, instantly regretting it but you didn't allow yourself to unsend it.
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