"Into Marvelous Light I'm Running"

"Out of darkness, out of shame. By the cross you are the truth, You are the life, you are the way" - Charlie Hall

[into-marvelous-light]

!frustrated

Lets start by saying that granny has been out of the hospital almost a month!! PRAISE GOD!! she’s tired, but what do you expect when your elderly and your body has just gone under major abdominal surgery, and spent the last 4 months trying to fight an infection! But by a miracle of God, we were able to spend Christmas with her and she is on the mend. 

grandma gave me the greatest Christmas present of all, she said “I love you” clear as day! not mumbling, or within a random sentence. all on its own, in response to “I love you grandma” wow, you cant imagine the pure joy I had in my heart when I heard that! I cant wait until heaven when i can hear that all the time! and be able to have a proper conversation with her again! I almost cant wait!

School starts in 4 days. I’m super excited about that. finally getting back in the groove of things. it will feel really good to be back.

my husband was laid off on dec 3, he is registered for march for 3rd year electrical, but applied for the January intake. we haven’t heard, and today (6) is the last day to hear if he gets in this intake. he also applied for a job in the personal training career at anytime fitness. he has yet to hear back from them either. i’m just frustrated at this whole situation, because for the entire month of December (aside from our trips) not once did i come home from work with food ready for me, or my house cleaned, i came home to him playing video games, or with a friend, or still in his pyjamas, i asked him to do a few things, one being that he would have dishes cleaned up by the end of the day, because i shouldn't have to come home at the end of the day, unload the dishwasher and load it with dirty dishes. that should be done, but again, i come home today after a long day at work, and the dishes aren’t in the dishwasher, there are 2 pots, a frying pan, a bowl, 2 Tupperware containers and a bunch of cutlery in the sink, with a half empty dishwasher. all he did today was train 2.5 hours, watch a show, sleep in and go to a movie (with me at the end of the day) then we got into an argument about what he should do in regards to a job. to apply for another personal training job, or open his own business as a personal trainer. I implied that he was irresponsible -- we are not getting paid EI from the month of July (1500$) because he forgot to call. there are still 2 bags of leaves to go to compost, which were supposed to be picked up November 3, we are now January 6, thats over 2 months of them sitting in our backyard. now that snow has come and gone twice, and now they are sitting in 2 feet of snow. -- just these two examples are things that if these were business decisions he made, he wouldn’t have clients, or funding, or anything, because responsible business owners wouldn’t let this happen. SO this is what i thought our fight was about, he walked away saying he wasn’t but obviously he was, then he says he wasn’t mad about what i said, but about his career path. and how he’s stuck in the trades. and that he wished for once i would just comfort him rather than give him a lecture. I wish i new this was what he was mad about, because then i could have comforted him. but he wasn’t honest. but then i look at this argument from an outside perspective. all our fights come down to he is unhappy where he is, he doesn’t want to do electrical and that i need to comfort him. Im damn tired of comforting him. he needs to put on his big boy pants and suck it up. do a job you don’t like for a few years, knowing your not going to be in it for the long hall. i’m just sick and tired of being the “strong one” for him. I pick him up when he’s feeling down, but i do not get that in return, if i do its so few and far between that i cant event think of the last time he was the strong one. i’m feeling warn out. and i don’t know where to go from here. so this I pray!

God, please ease my heart and mind. allow me to be more comforting to my husband when he is feeling this way. allow me to be more sensitive to his feelings. allow me to have the right words and actions to make this known to him. help him also to become more aware of his surroundings, not be as forgetful, and get out of the “oh poor me attitude” and put on his big boy pants. its time to be an adult, Amen!

[into-marvelous-light]

Take a deep breath

Since the last time I posted some things have happened, my husband lost his job, I realized something about myself, my semester ended, and granny is still in the hospital. 

Lets start with granny. She’s still in the hospital because she is weak. They will not let her leave until her strength is back so she can go home and live independently. The physio is there every day and she is walking around a bit more. PRAISE GOD! She does not have the flu anymore either, so we don’t need to gown up when we go see her anymore either. I just pray that God will heal her. That she will be able to go home and live a healthy life. 

My husband lost his job on Dec 1. Although I believe in a God who knows his plan for us, this still makes me nervous, it means that our bills are riding on my work, and that I need to only take 2 classes next semester instead of 3 so I can work more. Which also means that instead of being done in 2.5 years, I will probably be done in 3.5 years. Which I am ok with, I have a great career leading me through, its just a bummer hearing this. He is going for his third year of electrical in march, but he signed up to go in January. He is 6th on the waiting list. So I pray that he gets in, but I also think of the 6 people that need to drop the course for my honey to get int. I pray that if they drop its for a good reason. 

My semester ended, which I’m actually sad about, this was the first semester that I enjoyed 100%. Everything about it I learned so much and grew so much, that it is sad to see it end. However that means exams too. I write one on the 12th and one on the 16th. (I should be studying right now but I needed to get all this off my mind before I could study) Anatomy and Sport and Exercise Psychology are the two exams. 

The thing I realized is that i enjoy teaching. I had the opportunity to put together a bible study in September about “How to study the Bible” looking at exegesis and hermeneutics, and specific ways to study the bible, through repetition, through feeling, through lectio divina. It was incredible. Then I was given the opportunity to teach a second year massage student. She had her 15 hour preceptorship with me. Although the experience with her specifically was not ideal, I learned that I really enjoyed passing off my knowledge to someone. (I’ll go into detail about it in a minute). So the last month or so, I have contemplated finishing my degree and teaching in the massage therapy program at the college in my town. I know it will put off Physiotherapy, but if it is what God wants I will be happy to do his will!

Now, I need to get my experience off my chest (and a place where I can come to look at how I felt, but not actually feel it again). She was nice to begin with, but throughout the semester I learned a few things about her. She was a liar. There were so many excuses out of her it would blow your mind. And some of the excuses i’ve used before, (ashamedly) so I know they are excuses. She was late for a few appointments that the final one I told her to go home, I was so unimpressed with her professionality. She definitely cared more about her friendships than coming to work. She had a friend who needed a ride somewhere, so she canceled an hour with me to do so, and instead of showing up on time for the hour after, she showed up 45 minutes late. Her communication was awful too, she would text me, after she was already late, that she would be late, and instead of being honest with the amount of time it would take her to get there after already being late, she would cut it down to 5-10 minutes so it wouldn’t sound as bad, but then show up 45 minutes late and think nothing of it. She was also sick the whole semester, I told her to go to the doctor to get checked, because if she is sick all the time and needing to cancel on clients all the time. Her clients are going to leave her. The last hour she was supposed to get was needed to be made up through an assignment I created. It was 8 questions (which I could finish answering in 10 minutes, so she definitely could finish it in 1-1.5 hours no problem) and even her answers sounded not genuine and forced and juvenile. She didn’t even remember what we talked about in one of our 14 hours about what to focus on for low back issues when massaging. She has no philosophy for why she wants to be a massage therapist. So in my professional opinion, it is going to take a lot of work on her end to become a good therapist.

Anyways, time to study, thanks for reading. have a blessed night!

[into-marvelous-light]

Crazy hectic November

The last couple weeks have been a blur.

My grandma who has Alzheimers (mom’s mom) broke her hip and needed a partial hip replacement. The head of her femur broke off at the neck, so they put a whole new head on her femur. She was so confused, and didn’t know what was going on. it was sad to see her like that. Thankfully without even knowing what was going on she kept moving her feet up and down, which is exactly what the doctors wanted her to do. Praise God. Now she’s back home in her locked unit. She’s in a wheel chair now, but physio is coming twice a day to get her to walk. She is walking about 20 steps each time.

The day after she broke her hip I wrote an exam that I didn’t do well on. So here’s to the final on December 12.

My granny (dad’s mom) has been in the hospital 9 times since August. The first 8 were because she had a UTI and was malnourished. This last time she had pain in her abdomen, so because she already had an appendectomy and hysterectomy they assumed it was dead bowl, but couldn’t tell without doing surgery. So they started with exploratory surgery to see what was going on and ended up removing 1/3 of her dead bowel. She was in ICU for the last 2 days and is now on a main floor in the hospital who deal mostly with abdomen surgeries. She’s got hallucinations and is refusing treatment because she’s so done with being poked and prodded. Thank God for my sister, who’s a nurse and can explain to her why she needs certain treatment and then my granny listens to her. Just heard, that now she has influenza! Why does it all happen at once!

My husband is being laid off in 3 days because there is just no work for the company he is/was with. So there goes my dream of finishing school in 2 years. Now he will be on EI and finish his schooling this semester for his third and fourth year of electrical. At least one of us will be done soon.

To top it all off, about 2 weeks ago my husbands phone stopped working, it was the hardware, but because it is out of warranty they couldn’t do anything. It was nothing my husband did to wreck the phone either. It was a faulty motherboard or whatever you want to call it. So we had to get him a new phone, smaller and slightly worse than his previous one. But today he throws it in the laundry accidentally. Thankfully because he just got it 2 weeks ago, apple care covers it, so all we have to do is pay the 80$ to get it fixed. 

My first exam for school is 3 days from now, and I feel ill prepared. I’ve been focused on doing the major assignment for that class instead. So heres to hoping!

Couple things that I’m grateful for throughout this though is the bible study I am running. We are reading through Ephesians. At the end of Ephesians 3 Paul has a prayer

 “For this reason I kneel before you Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth deserves its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen”

Wow, because of this I know that anything is possible because of the God I serve. 

My best friend from high school is not a christian, however he has supported me and asked how my life has been because of it. This last month my bible study and I have challenged ourself to talk about Jesus to close people in our lives who do not know him. Well finally I got a good opportunity aside from saying “I’m praying for you”. We were talking about optimism despite what is going on in my life. He asked me how I do it. How i stay so positive in such a crappy situation, I was able to tell him its because of the God I serve and the fact that He can do abundantly more than we ask for or imagine. That he is the God of miracles and I trust that whatever happens is in his will to make me a better disciple to him. Although he didn’t respond to any of the stuff I said about my optimism coming from God, my friend still knows where my heart is at and how I get through situations. So i hope in the future when he needs a shoulder to lean on and turns to me (like usual) that he remembers that I am a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ and that anything is possible with Him.

The last thing i can think of right now that I am thankful for is that this morning it took everything of me to get out of bed to go to class, so I was only 20 minutes early instead of an hour, and this afternoon I had massages and tonight I need to study for the exam in 3 days, but I had an hour between two of my massages. So I went to inquire about the gym close to my work and decided to get a 3 day pass to see if I enjoy working out there. I have a free pass at the university due to my being a student, but there is maybe 6 treadmills for the entire fitness centre so lots of times I’m waiting to even begin my workout. This way I can do it in between my massages if I have time, or quickly after work or before work without traveling 15 minutes across the city from my house to the U. This gym I checked out today is only a 2 minute drive (and a short walk if I had a bit of extra time). I was able to work out and shower and be back with lots of time to spare. It really perked me up going there this afternoon. So praise God for new places to work out. I hope I can bring in some extra cash to pay for a membership there. 

If you made it through, thanks so much for listening. I don’t know you, but it feels good to get this out to someone without having it bottled up inside. 

[into-marvelous-light]

My new life

This blog I have just found again, and ive decided to use it as my escape. 

you will see things such as:

- my walk with Jesus

- my job - as a student and as a massage therapist

- my home life

- my headaches

and

-my weight journey

Ive decided that because I can’t be accountable to myself, I need to be accountable to someone/something. 

I’ve grown a lot over the past 4 years, especially in my faith, and in my friendships with those who value the same things I value.

I deal with chronic migraines/headaches which I believe make me a better massage therapist. I would’t change having chronic pain up to now, but moving forward - sooner rather than later - I would like to not have headaches

I am a kinesiology student full time with 3 classes per semester, and I am a massage therapist doing 30-35 hours a week, I run my own business, am part of media at church, I’m in two bible studies a week, and I try to have a date night with my husband at least once a week.

My life is pretty full, but I need to do better at a few things. 

Firstly - I need to put Jesus center of my life again. So from today forwards, I vow to read one chapter of my bible every day, doesn’t matter how long it takes me to get through - I’m also not putting a limit on this, If I’m in the groove I will read more than one chapter.

Secondly - I am in a youtube hole. I have found people and gamers I like on youtube, but i’m obsessed with it, and i need to stop. I’ve unfollowed so many people to keep from watching, but I still get sucked in. so from now on, I only watch whats on my newsfeed and thats it.

Thirdly - I need to lose weight. I’ve been on this downward spiral for 4 years, I eat whatever and whenever my husband eats. This has to stop. I need to start eating breakfast, and cut out chips, pop, and chocolate. I need to be ok with not having some things, and when I do, not gorging myself on these treats. I need to stop eating in bed. I need to exercise more, So i am going to run as long as I can at speed 5 on the treadmill for as long as I can, so far its 10 minutes. I am aiming for 12 by the end of the week. I also plan on doing a HIIT workout 2 times a week. these runs will be Tuesday through Saturday currently. In the evenings I will then do a T-25 - 25 minutes of workout, which is not bad at all. even if it is at 9pm.

Lastly - I need to get to bed earlier, 11:45pm is too late. I need to be sleeping by 10/10:30

I would like to post everyday but that seems like a ridiculous goal. so to start I plan to update Monday nights and Thursday or Friday nights. 

[allscripture]

WHO IS HE?

In Genesis, He is the seed of the woman. In Exodus, He is the Passover Lamb. In Leviticus, He is our High Priest. In Numbers, He is pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. In Deuteronomy, He is the prophet like unto Moses. In Joshua, He is the captain of our salvation. In Judges, He is our judge and lawgiver. In Ruth, He is our kinsman redeemer. In I and II Samuel, He is our trusted prophet. In Kings and Chronicles, He is our reigning king. In Erza, He is our faithful scribe. In Nehemiah, He is the rebuilder of the broken down walls of human life. In Ester, He is our Mordecai. In Job, He is our ever-living redeemer: “For I know my redeemer lives.” In Psalms, He is our shepherd. In Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, He is our wisdom. In Song of Solomon, He is the lover and the bridegroom. In Isaiah, He is the prince of peace. In Jeremiah, He is the righteous branch. In Lamentations, He is the weeping prophet. In Ezekiel, He is the wonderful four-faced man. In Daniel, He is the fourth man walking in the midst of the burning fiery furnaces of life. In Hosea, He is the husband forever married to the backslider. In Joel, He is the mighty baptizer in the Holy Ghost. In Amos, He is my burden bearer. In Obadiah, He is mighty to save. In Jonah, He is God’s great foreign missionary. In Micah, He is the messenger of beautiful feet. In Nahum, He is the avenger of God’s elect. In Habakkuk, He is God’s evangelist, crying, “Revive thy work in the midst of the years.” In Zephaniah, He is our Savior. In Haggai, He is the restorer of the lost heritage of Israel. In Zechariah, He is fountain opened up on the house of David for sin and uncleanness. In Malachi, He is the Son of Righteousness arisen with healing in His wings. In Matthew, He is the Messiah. In Mark, He is the wonder worker. In Luke, He is the Son of Man. In John, He is the Son of God. In Acts, He is the mighty baptizer in the Holy Ghost. In Romans, He is my justifier. In Corinthians, He is my sanctifier. In Galatians, He is the redeemer from the curse of the law. In Ephesians, He is the Christ of unsearchable riches. In Philippians, He is the God that supplies all my needs. In Colossians, He is the fullness of the godhead bodily. In I and II Thessalonians, He is my soon-coming King! In I and II Timothy, He is the mediator between God and man. In Tidus, He is my faithful pastor. In Philemon, He is the friend that sticketh closer than a brother. In Hebrews, He is the blood of the everlasting covenant. In James, He is our Great Physician, for “the prayer of faith shall save the sick.” In I and II Peter, He is my good shepherd. In I John, He is love. In II John, He is love.   In III John, He is love. In Jude, He is the Lord coming with 10,000 of His saints. In Revelation, He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

HE IS THE WORD OF GOD.

[p0ck3tf0x]

One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I Love You’

“Pull over.  Let me drive for awhile.”

“It reminded me of you.”

“No, no, it’s my treat.”

“Come here.  Let me fix it.”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“Have a good day at work.”

“I dreamt about you last night.”

“Take my seat.”

“I saved a piece for you.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“You can have half.”

“Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”

“Sorry I’m late.”

“Can I have this dance?”

“I made your favourite.”

“It’s okay.  I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Watch your step.”

“Here, drink this.  You’ll feel better.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“You can borrow mine.”

“You might like this.”

“It’s not heavy.  I’m stronger than I look.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Just because.”

“Look both ways.”

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to.”

“Try some.”

“Drive safely.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“One more chapter.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

“It looks good on you.”

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

“That’s okay, I bought two.”

“After you.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I like your laugh.”

“Don’t cry.”

“I made this for you.”

“Go back to sleep.”

“Is this okay?”

“I picked these for you.”

“I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

“What do you want to watch?”

“You can go first.”

“Did you get my letter?”

“I’ll do it for you.”

“Call me when you get home.”

“I think you’re beautiful.”

“Are you sure?”

“Have fun.”

“Sit down, I’ll get it.”

“I made reservations.”

“I don’t mind.”

“It brings out your eyes.”

“There is enough room for both of us.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“Wow.”

“Happy birthday.”

“I’ll pick it up after work.”

“It can wait until tomorrow.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“It’s two sugars, right?”

“I’ll help you study.”

“Stay over.”

“I did the dishes.”

“You didn’t have to ask.”

“I bought you a ticket.”

“You’re warm.”

“No reason.”

“I’ll meet you halfway.”

“Take mine.”

“We can share.”

“I was just thinking about you.”

“I want you to have this.”

“Call me if you need anything.”

“Do you want to come too?”

“I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”

“Is your seatbelt on?”

“Sweet dreams.”

“I was in the neighbourhood.”

“Stay there.  I’m coming to get you.”

“The key is under the mat.”

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“You’re important too.”

“I saved you a seat.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“I noticed.”

“You can tell me anything.”

“I hope you like it.”

“I want you to be happy.”

“I believe in you.”

“You can do it.”

“Good luck.”

“I brought you an umbrella.”

“I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

“Take a deep breath.”

“Be careful.”

And…

“I love you.”

[into-marvelous-light]

What a great time these past two years getting to know this lovely young woman! Can't believe it's over!! You'll do fantastic in Calgary girl! @amanda_mariee_44 #grad #2014 #lethbridgecollege #massagetherapy #RMT #yahoo

[into-marvelous-light]

#grad #2014 #massagetherapy #lethbridgecollege #RMT #yahoo @justinamayowski

[into-marvelous-light]

Yay we graduated!! Can't believe 2 years have gone by again!!!! #grad #2014 #lethbridgecollege #massagetherapy #RMT #yahoo!!

[thedesertofcolors-deactivated20]

I already saw that on Tumblr.

literally everything (via beccaliving)

[mypet-guru-blog]

We get this all the time! Do you? #cute #cat #cats

[shortvideosandstuff]

[kangaroocie]

This cat looks like it’s discovered the answer to the universe…

THIS CAT HAS SEEN THINGS

I cant help but laugh every time it turns its head

Cat: WHO IS THIS BATH FOR

WAIT

WAIT

IT’S FOR ME ISN’T IT

HUMAN

HUMAN WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

reblogging again

Lol i loved that face!!

[lulz-time]

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

[niknak79]

[odysseusyes]

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

[eatsleepcrap]

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

[crashingsunlight]

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

[eatsleepcrap]

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

[the-brave-little-blogger]

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

[everyonesfavoriteging-blog]

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

[the-neon-pineapple]

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

[perks-of-being-chinese]

woah.

[panicrobot]

it got better

[twistedthicket1-deactivated2022]

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

[ofthefantastic]

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

[venatrix26]

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

[party-gilmore]

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

[teenagedream]

[lulz-time]

fullyactivated:

More self-esteem than half of tumblr 

Getting it right!

Well, our work here is done.—Danielle

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

[gingerbbatch]

celebrities read mean tweets: part six

[into-marvelous-light]

Haha

[heykidsspellingisfun13]

the entire sherlock fandom right now

[icanrelateto]