Approaching: Contrary to popular belief, ENTJs aren’t necessarily that upfront when they’re flirting; instead, when approaching, they often flirt and play koi, allowing their object of affection to reciprocate feelings before they invest the entirety of their energy into the project. This is their Ni at work, working towards a long term goal while still using Te to take action in the present. They may also be inexplicably kinder; they’ll seem unusually empathetic and understanding, or at least withholding in their emotions. Their flirting generally consists of banter, compliments and seductive looks. They’ll suddenly confess their feelings, although you’ll feel it coming; during a good conversation, they’ll make you laugh and then wait for you to settle down as they stare at you. Then, they’ll confess their feelings. This oscillation between states of vulnerability and their normal selves is designed, intentionally or not, to keep you on your toes, giving the ENTJ control in the relationship, and to some extent over your emotions. ENTJs are not manipulative people; they simply enjoy approaching their relationships in a very cat-mouse fashion.
Reciprocating: This is similar to when they’re approaching, with the one difference that they’ll often wait for you to initiate the compliments and seductive looks. They might be afraid of rejection, so they might wait and make sure you like them before being too blatant about reciprocating your feelings. Additionally, they won’t share their feelings until they’re sure you feel the same, and you’ve expressed them.
Approaching: INTJs are often most spontaneous when pursuing a crush. Expect gifts and unexpected compliments. When talking to you, you’ll probably feel as though they are trying to study you; they’ll ask you questions about your views on large concepts, such as politics or consumerism, as well as less globally applicable questions, such as weird habits you had when you were a child or your plans for the future. It’s also quite common for them to share their ideas and theories with you; these are probably what they value most, and sharing them with you feels significant to them. They’ll throw around compliments such as ‘you’re one of my favorite people in the world’, and ask you if you like them before admitting that they like you. INTJs are very strategic in the way they obtain their crushes, even if they can be direct. One example was an INTJ spotting someone at their university. They introduced themselves to their object of affection briefly at a party. Then, they ‘accidentally’ bumped into their crush, and while their crush was picking up their belongings, the INTJ pointed out that they had met once, and then asked their crush out on a date. The crush said yes. The INTJ went to pick up the crush, only to hear that they had been stood up for their ice cream date, and that their crush was studying in the library. The INTJ then found out their crush’s favorite flavor of ice cream, purchased two cones in that flavor, and brought them into the library to meet their crush.
Reciprocating: It might initially seem like nothing has changed, but look for the little things; how quickly do they change their opinions for you? Do they reciprocate physical touch? Do they actively attempt to hold the conversation you started with them? That’s more or less how they behave. Additionally, they’ll say yes when asked directly if they like you or not.
Approaching: ENTPs are generally very direct when approaching. It isn’t uncommon for them to comment on your appearance, often in very sexual ways. Sometimes it seems as though their strategy is to embed themselves into a social group, then make it known that they like you without ever actually saying that they like you. Once you’re actually talking, they’ll be more vulnerable with you than they generally are with others, allowing their external air of coolness dissolve into a fluffier version of themselves. Other ENTPs may approach in slightly less direct ways, flirting with banter and wordplay. An example of the first kind of ENTP would be their crush wearing a swimsuit with the American flag on it, and the ENTP staring at them and saying ‘God bless America’ for everyone to hear, whereas the second kind of ENTP might have approached their crush before making such a comment.
Reciprocating: An ENTP reciprocating is similar to them approaching, although they’ll be more careful and incremental when it comes to revealing their true selves; it may feel as though they’re slowly inoculating you against their personal brand of insanity. They’ll test you, as if you’re applying for a job, but in a very informal way; rather than asking you whether or not you can handle people with their particular sense of humor, they’ll expose you to their sense of humor and gauge your reaction. They might think it’s apparent that the two of you like each other, and begin referring to the two of you as a couple, even if you haven’t officially started dating.
Approaching: When approaching, INTPs will seem more or less like themselves; adorkable and slightly shy people who, although they may feel it, have difficulty expressing affection beyond having a pleasant demeanor and being generally kind. They generally prefer to be approached. When approaching, they’ll often make jokes, and initiate conversations more than usual. They’ll be very nice to you, which might be hard to distinguish since many of them already treat those around them with kindness. They very much fear that their feelings won’t be reciprocated, and as such they’ll make sure that you feel the same way, and they’ll wait for you to express your feelings first, even when approaching. Their approaching methods can seem very strategic; they’ll use their friends for information on you and whether or not you like them, and get their friends to talk to you. When approaching, they often attempt to get you to approach them.
Reciprocating: When reciprocating, INTPs employ similar strategies as when they’re approaching, but won’t actually approach you. That’s your job. Otherwise, they’re basically the same. However, they might have some more difficulties, as being approached often entails being complimented, which can be difficult for INTPs. It’s not that they don’t like or appreciate your compliments; they just don’t know how to react to them, and might feel compelled to run away and hide, as though your complimenting is going to make them behave in an embarrassing way.