[Plain text: I kinda feel stupid. End plain text.]
Aegosexual or anegosexual, historically known as autochorissexual, is a microlabel on the asexual spectrum that describes individuals who experience a disconnect between themselves and the subject of arousal. Aegosexuals may experience sexual fantasies, enjoy porn and other sexual content, or masturbate, but they generally feel little to no sexual attraction and typically do not desire to involve themselves in sex with another individual.
Some common aegosexual experiences include:
Enjoying sexual content, masturbating, or fantasizing about sex, but being indifferent towards or repulsed by the idea of being in a real-life sexual relationship.
Fantasizing about sex, but the aegosexual individual is not involved. They may only be a disembodied observer viewing it from a third-individual perspective rather than from the first-individual.
Fantasizing about sex but envisioning only other individuals, such as celebrities, fictional characters, or even friends.
Fantasizing about sex but it involves generic, faceless individuals, not specific individuals.
Fantasizing about sex but it is seen through the perspective of another individual rather than as one's actual self.
Fantasizing about sex but only imagining oneself, and no other individuals.
Fantasizing about sex but it is idealized and unrealistic. Adding realistic elements to the fantasy makes the idea of sex less appealing or even repulsive.
Perceiving someone as "hot" or recognizing someone as sexually attractive, yet not seeing the appeal of having sex with the individual in real life. The aegosexual individual may instead prefer to fantasize about them or admire them (miransexual).
Enjoying erotic content but getting turned on by the situation or relationship dynamics in story lines rather than by one's attraction to the individuals.
Aegosexual may be similar to pseudosexual, which describes an individual who experiences a non-sexual attraction which mimics sexual attraction, often by causing arousal or a libido spike.
(LGBTQIA+ Wiki, Aegosexual)
I feel so stupid. This is what I have been feeling for all this time. And it was, like, at the top of the list of sexualities under the ace-spec. How did I not notice before? *face palming*
So, yeah, I am aegosexual.
[Image description: the aegosexual flag, with its 4 horizontal stripes, with the colours, from top to bottom, black, gray, white, purple, and with a triangle with its vertex on the base of the flag (which is a rectangle like most flags) in which the order of colors is reversed, so there is from top to bottom purple, white, gray and black. End image description.]