// iona //

// 19 // scotland // writing

[iona-wallace]

i wanna write poetry again because i havent in p much a year but I've been through so much and so many new things have happened but I'm too worn out to have any creative energy :((

[iona-wallace]

Day 10: Femininity

chipping away

steadily breaking off

little chunks

slivers

clatter to the ground,

glitter rains down

pooling around my feet

pieces of myself

rain down

as i shrink

myself chipped away

by myself

desperately pushing

to fit

- IW

[iona-wallace]

Day 9: Focus on a Colour

turquoise ripples floating to the surface

bubbles of sapphire

rise slow

glistening in the light

popping

bursting

glittering fragments frozen in place,

all overwhelmed

by crashing waves of blue

running in circles

tangled up in seaweed 

caught in dark green ropes,

grassy strings,

emerald traps

with olive decorations

tiny gold and silver fish

weave in and out

protected by the

green mass

entangled, trapping

any potential threat

the beauty

the violence

the tangled trap

start to blur,

merging, swirling

melting in to one as

a pinprick of black

stains the surface

consuming cyan chunks

swallowing seas of blue

growing steadily,

eating up more of the colour

tiny glimmering fish

struggle

the gaping black hole

freezing everything in place

moulding it in to one

shape

one object

a painting,

filled with strokes of vibrant

greens and blues

movement in its stillness

the blackhole

causing destruction

one of love

of endearment

never intending to hurt

just wanting

to consume more

of those gorgeous sights

natural elegance

- i could stare all day

[iona-wallace]

Day 8: A Love Poem

suffering

stained your life

for years,

i called it love

i called it care

i called you mine

caressing that word with lipstick kisses

until it turned pink.

You were mine

my strength,

my salvation,

you carried me through hell and back

and kept me breathing

only for my repayment

in harm

in starvation

in strict control.

I never felt strong enough

in my love for you,

it was never movie perfect

I was failing you-

when you deserved the stars

and all i could give you were roses- 

a heart too weak

too shallow

so

i coloured the pink, red

red of love? 

passionate and powerful red

of anger

you were a reflection of my failures

i didn't want to face,

breaking you down to

an empty carcass

too weak to run

You can never leave me

I can never leave you

connected eternally

with unbreakable bonds

and the misfortune

that comes with

being a single person

- IW

[iona-wallace]

Day 7: A Time of Day

00:00

blankets of darkness

float to the ground

wrapping around cold shoulders

falling in front of eyes

softening all noise,

fading in to gentle silence

smothering shadows,

calm stillness:

a comforting break

where nothing really exists-

the words spoken

the truths spilt

the tears cried

all forgotten, wiped away,

in the day time's

light glow

- IW

[iona-wallace]

Day 6: Nostalgia

supposed to be

so rose tinted,

pink with love

pastel delicacy

yet

powerful

with an ability to control

an ability to twist

an ability to hurt

or to set free

in flurries of butterflies

colourful

     beautiful

         fragile

monarch wings bold and vibrant

colouring the sky

broken

crushed

in a gentle touch

these rose stained lessons

learned from,

leaving old memories forever

untouchably tempting,

itching to hold a hand out,

grabbing a handful of paper wings

crushing the colour

in to dust between pink fingers

-IW

[iona-wallace]

Day 5: Back to Nature

desperate

desolate

dry earth

crumbles and cracks under the weight of the trees.

struggling to support the network

of old twisted roots and years of beauty

a hazy grey blanket falls

surrounding, smothering,

suffocating.

the forest

surrenders and submits

rain rushes

crashing in to cracking earth.

rivers begin to flow

through old cracks

around old roots

rushing rivers

rejuvenate

revive and recover

old romantic beauty

in new patterns

new growth

-IW

[iona-wallace]

Day 4: Anxiety

each footstep

echoed.

An endless corridor.

Taking boots hours to march

closer

closer

closing in.

shadows block out the light.

footsteps the only sound.

eyes squeeze shut.

the darkness pressed in tight.

hugged all around

an eternal wait

for what's to come.

echoes echo from far away

closer

closer

closing in

air runs in fear of those footsteps

abandons its purpose

closer

closer

closer

closer

- IW

[iona-wallace]

Day 3: Incorporate Music

kick drum heartbeat

no rhythm

no composure

live, unfiltered, passionate,

beating with the suns rays,

running free across the feild.

heart strung guitars

plucked gentle

harder

gentle again

harmonising with swirling winds.

an orchestra of soft laughs

and softer kisses.

an orchestra of passion

of love

of life

- IW

[iona-wallace]

Day 2: April Showers

one by one

drop by drop

softly

and gently

dragging down the sky's blue cheeks

rays of sunlight

turning tears

to diamonds

glistening

dancing

in the skys cool breath

a symphony of leaf rustling

drip dropping

accompanying

the synchronised

elegance

of sadness

- IW

[iona-wallace]

Escapril Day 1: A Fresh Start

orange spills over the hill

flooding the sky

with gentle fire.

burning eternally

beyond mountains

beyond clouds

beyond your curtains.

persevering even in its absence

out of sight

out of mind

fire still burns

bringing a powerful flood

drowning the dark

in a golden bath

salvation

in

sunrise

- IW

[iona-wallace]

I wanna start escapril but im 3 days late hold on while i pull 3 poems out of thin air

[fxnxlly]

“Bathroom stalls; Confessional Spill my guts Seek forgiveness On my knees, Carpet burned Keeping me warm As my body trembles. Tears burn Paths marked black A pathway From head to heart Travelled so often Permanent stains Cover my reflection A consequence of sin Faced each and every morning As the pews fade No miracle occurs God’s don’t believe in me Don’t grant me forgiveness Or place an angel in watch My false prophecy A continuing sin Never leaving my body Darkness where most light touches So this time I’ll seek forgiveness And spill my guts. Letting that burning light in Tearing my empty body O p e n”

— my untitled poetry book

[ultracrepidarianchild]

💖🌼💛

(click for full resolution!)

[fclsettoss-deactivated20180821]

3.11.17 / 11.4.18

these were taken just over five months apart, and in that time ive realised im a lesbian and ive come into this community of strong, kind and beautiful people who deserve love, hope and to be seen.

[fclsettoss-deactivated20180821]

all i wanted - paramore

[ultracrepidarianchild]

“When you look at me, what do you see?” “I see someone stronger than me, I see somebody who survives.”

“…I see my wife.”