hey. i go by sludge/jo! i + i have an actual bio page thingy in the bio of my main but u dont need to read it lol
this account is mainly for gushing abt musicals, specifically be more chill and dear evan hansen but like i might bring up other stuff (don’t count on it)
i just block people i dont like but i would appreciate if nsfw blogs dni. also dni if u ‘ship’ squipjer or like stuff along those lines.
ALSO a thing i do often is like draw parallels between stuff i am a crossover au king so if i say some shit like “Chloe Valentine is so Vriskacore” thats just my turbo brainrot shattering fandom boundaries dont mind it.
other info bout me:
i am transmasc, black n a minor, and i often head-canon characters as trans and black this doesn’t really matter because the fandoms i post about here are musical theatre fandoms and characters often dont have a set race but like. contextually if you see me refer to Jeremy Heere bmc as she/her here’s your answer.
idk why so many people are blocking me just for asking for their help...I don't want to be rich; I want to raise the money for my father's heart surgery and buy medicine for the scabies that has plagued my family
If anything happens to my dad, please remember that I begged you to donate, even a small amount, or to share my post. I will not forgive anyone who sees this post and doesn't support me with a single word or a small donation
Vetting vetted by el-shab-hussein of Gaza evacuation FUnds. Gaza Evacuation Funds is trusted because they are Palestinian run/managed. It was founded by Nabulsi, El Shab Hussein, and Mo Ayesh.
Donation Rewards
1))Spokelse's anime art for palestine relief (accepts all vetted by El Shab husseing
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How this works is, you sh
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More potential below below
2)@Flowerpawarts list
@Flowerpawarts has compiled a huge list of artists providing incentives for vetted campaigns flowerpaw | Linktree Remember the legal murkniness of paid fanfic so probably keep on down-low (check links to make sure they accept any of the verification lists or vetters for campaign you want to support , and you should make sure they accept the big verification lists or aren't just for a specific famil
a lot of awesome art 4 gaza fundraisers
donation commission form
thank you so much for supporting people in need<3
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some
a lot of awesome art 4 gaza fundraisers
dan and phil phriendship bracelets $5 not including shipping
varied friendship bracelets $5 for premade bracelets, $10 for custom
chibi donation commissions $5+
more fic commissions ~$10
cartoonist co-op artist database (offering MANY different things from stickers to zines! you can usually reach out to these artists individually)
Please share/reblog, and maybe donate if you can. DM @/virovac if want to be removed @vakarians-babe @prinnay @newsfrom-theworld @a-scary-lack-of-common-sense @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness-blog @westaysilly
recently MTI started licensing dear evan hansen for community productions, and the materials on their site include the full script of the show, last revised september 2025. all the official versions of the script that i have date from 2017 (no direct links, but dear evan hansen (tcg edition) and dear evan hansen: through the window should have the same script) and there have definitely been some changes over the years to dialogue and stage directions, so i wanted to compare and contrast them.
material that’s been added / changed / removed between versions is in bold. i started out documenting every single change, and then this post got really long and boring because there were lots of minor tweaks to stage directions and things like that, so i’m now focusing on just the major / interesting changes.
2017
(Lights shift and Heidi Hansen stands there, holding a twenty-dollar bill.)
HEIDI: So you just decided not to eat last night?
2025
Lights shift and HEIDI stands there.
HEIDI: So you just decided not to eat last night?
[a lot of stage directions are shorter in the 2025 version.]
—————
2017
EVAN: Okay but see, that’s not true actually. You have to talk to the delivery person when they come to the door. Then they have to make change. You have to stand there while it’s silent and they’re counting the change and…
2025
EVAN: Ok, but see, that's not true actually. The credit card on there is expired. Remember, I told you? So you have to pay the delivery person at the door. Then they have to make change. You have to stand there while it's silent and they're counting the change and…
[starting us off early with evan’s dissatisfaction with heidi!]
—————
2017
EVAN: Perfect.
HEIDI: I’m proud of you already.
EVAN: Oh. Good.
(Heidi exits the room, stands in the hall, realizing that this interaction has been an utter failure, as Evan packs up for school.)
2025
EVAN: Perfect.
HEIDI goes to exit, turns back.
HEIDI: I'm proud of you already.
EVAN: Oh. Good.
HEIDI leaves the room, stands in the hall, as EVAN packs up for school.
—————
2017
(Lights shift to find the Murphys at the kitchen table. Zoe Murphy sits, eating cereal, leafing through a book. Larry Murphy, on his phone, scrolls through emails.
Connor Murphy stares blankly into his cereal bowl.
Cynthia Murphy stands, fussing over everything — pouring orange juice, topping off coffee, clearing finished dishes.)
2025
Lights shift to find the Murphys in their kitchen.
ZOE sits at the table, eating a bowl of cereal.
LARRY, on his phone, scrolls through emails.
CONNOR sits, staring into his cereal bowl.
CYNTHIA stands, putting glasses of orange juice on the table.
—————
2017
CYNTHIA: Besides, he is not high.
(Cynthia looks to Connor to confirm this. He does not. She sighs.)
I do not want you going to school high, Connor. We have talked about this.
2025
CYNTHIA: Besides, he is not high.
A long beat.
I do not want you going to school high, Connor. We have talked about this.
—————
2017
(Larry, looking at his phone, shakes his head.)
LARRY: Interstate’s already jammed.
2025
LARRY, looking at his phone, shakes his head, shows the screen to ZOE.
LARRY: Interstate's already jammed.
ZOE nods, not incredibly interested.
[get his ass!]
—————
2017
(Larry stands, offering Cynthia a perfunctory spousal peck.)
LARRY: I better head out.
ZOE: If Connor’s not ready, I’m leaving without him.
2025
LARRY stands.
LARRY: I better head out.
ZOE stands, taking out her car keys.
ZOE: If Connor's not ready, I'm leaving without him…
—————
2017
(Evan and Connor appear in separate pools of light, just outside the school doors, fiddling with shirt collars, smoothing hair, and — for Evan — checking palms for signs of dampness, as the two young men anxiously prepare to face the day.)
2025
…
[this direction is completely removed from the 2025 version.]
—————
2017
(As Cynthia and Heidi exit, the buzz of a school bell. Lights shift, finding Evan standing in a school hallway. Alana Beck enters, a certain barely concealed desperation in the eagerness with which she approaches Evan, in her almost too-wide smile.)
ALANA: Hey. How was your summer?
2025
As CYNTHIA and HEIDI exit, the buzz of a school bell.
Lights shift, finding EVAN now at school.
ALANA passes him.
ALANA: Hey. How was your summer?
[is this the further toning down of alana that the movie started?]
—————
2017
ALANA: Because then she died.
(Evan has no idea how to respond to this. Alana plasters on a glowing smile.)
Happy first day.
(Alana exits as Jared Kleinman approaches Evan with the kind of practiced swagger only the deeply insecure can truly pull off.)
2025
ALANA: Because then she died.
EVAN has no idea how to respond to this.
ALANA plasters on a chipper smile.
Happy first day.
ALANA exits as JARED enters.
[nooo not his practiced swagger cultivated via deep insecurity!]
—————
2017
EVAN: How was, what did you do for the, did you have a good summer?
JARED: Well, my bunk dominated in capture the flag and I got to second-base-below-the-bra with this girl from Israel who’s going to like be in the army… so yeah, hopefully that answers your question.
2025
EVAN: How was—what did you do for the—I'm sorry, you had a good summer?
JARED: Well, my bunk dominated in capture the flag and I got to second-base-above-the-bra with two different girls on three separate occasions… so, yeah, hopefully that answers your question.
[on the one hand, the second base line is now funnier. on the other hand, evan’s added “i’m sorry” means that my longstanding fun fact of “jared is the only living character that evan never says “i’m sorry” to” is now invalid.]
—————
2017
JARED: We’re family friends. That’s like a whole different thing and you know it.
(He punches Evan in the arm.)
Hey. Tell your mom to tell my mom that I was nice to you or else my parents won’t pay for my car insurance.
EVAN: I will.
2025
JARED: We're family friends. That's like a whole different thing and you know it.
JARED punches him in the arm.
Tell your mom to tell my mom I was nice to you or else my parents won't pay for my car insurance.
EVAN: (deflated) I will.
[deflated :(]
—————
2017
JARED: Hey, Connor. I’m loving the new hair length. Very school shooter chic.
(Connor stops, casts a withering glance at him.)
2025
JARED: Hey, Connor. Loving the back-to-school look. Giving off some real future serial killer vibes.
CONNOR casts a withering glance at him, scary. Long silence, in which he says nothing.
[this line has, infamously, gone through many iterations over the years. i think this is probably the best compromise.]
—————
2017
EVAN: Or. I mean. You know what I mean.
ZOE: Well, / I’ll talk to you later.
EVAN: / You don’t want to sign my…?
ZOE: What?
EVAN (Instantly regretting his decision): What? What did you say?
2025
EVAN: Or. I mean. You know what I mean.
ZOE starts to go.
EVAN decides to go for it.
ZOE: Well, / I'll talk to you later.
EVAN: You don't want to sign my…?
ZOE: What?
EVAN: (immediately regretting his decision) What? What did you say?
—————
2017
EVAN (Lying): Yeah, no, I already finished it. I’m in the computer lab right now, printing it out.
HEIDI: I hope it was a good day, sweetheart.
2025
EVAN: Yeah, no, I already finished it. I'm in the computer lab right now, printing it out.
HEIDI: I hope it was a good day, honey.
[of all the stage directions to cut!]
—————
2017
CONNOR: Is this yours? I found it on the printer. “Dear Evan Hansen.” That’s your name, right?
(Evan feels a surge of fear.)
2025
CONNOR: Is this yours? I found it on the printer. "Dear Evan Hansen." That's your name, right?
EVAN feels the cold rush of panic, involuntarily rubs his hands for signs of sweat.
—————
2017
(Lights out on Evan and Jared as Alana appears alone, scanning her phone for emails, texts, anything, all traces of her typical studied cheeriness gone entirely.)
2025
…
[also completely gone from the 2025 version.]
—————
2017
The principal’s office. Evan stands, confused. Cynthia Murphy and Larry Murphy sit.
Larry is stiff and sober, coiled fury just beneath the surface. Cynthia is shattered, reeling.
2025
EVAN stands in the principal's office, utterly confused. CYNTHIA MURPHY and LARRY MURPHY sit.
LARRY is stiff and sober, coiled fury just beneath the surfacе.
CYNTHIA is shattered, reeling, not entirely able to process what is happening.
—————
2017
(Cynthia reaches into her purse and pulls out a folded piece of paper. She holds it lovingly, almost cradling it.)
LARRY: Why don’t you go ahead, honey, and…?
2025
Finally, CYNTHIA reaches into her purse and pulls out a folded piece of paper. She holds it very lovingly, almost cradling it.
LARRY puts his hand on hers.
LARRY: Why don't you go ahead, honey, and… ?
—————
2017
EVAN (Realizing): You think this is, you think that Connor wrote this to me.
CYNTHIA: These are the words he wanted to share with you.
LARRY: His last words.
CYNTHIA: This is what he wanted you to have.
EVAN: I’m sorry. What do you mean, last words?
(Cynthia and Larry share a look. A long, freighted silence.)
LARRY: Connor, uh, Connor took his own life.
EVAN (Stunned): He… what?
2025
EVAN: (realizing) You think this is, you think that Connor wrote this to me.
CYNTHIA: (barely holding it together) These are the words he wanted to share with you.
LARRY: His last words.
CYNTHIA: This is what he wanted you to have.
EVAN: I'm sorry. What do you mean, last words?
CYNTHIA and LARRY share a look. A long, freighted silence.
LARRY: Connor, uh, Connor took his own life.
LARRY's jaw clenches.
CYNTHIA strains to keep the tears at bay.
EVAN: (stunned) He… what?
—————
2017
EVAN: Connor didn’t, he didn’t write this.
CYNTHIA (To Larry): What does he mean?
LARRY: He’s obviously in shock.
EVAN: No, I just, he didn’t…
2025
EVAN: Connor didn't, he didn't write this.
CYNTHIA: (to Larry) What does he mean?
LARRY: He's obviously in shock.
EVAN begins to lose control.
EVAN: No, I just, he didn't…
—————
2017
CYNTHIA: This is all we have left. This is the only thing we have left.
LARRY: Honey. Listen to me. Please.
(Larry puts a hand on hers. She pulls away. She begins to break down, inconsolable.)
2025
CYNTHIA: (pointing to the letter) This is all we have. This is the only thing we have left.
LARRY: Honey. Listen to me. Please.
LARRY puts a hand on hers.
SHE pulls away.
She begins to break down.
—————
2017
(Elsewhere, Alana appears in a pin spot of light, online, alone.)
ALANA (Stunned): Still can’t believe the terrible news about @ConnorMurphy.
2025
Elsewhere, ALANA appears in a pin spot of light, online.
ALANA: Still can't believe the terrible news about Connor Murphy.
[no more twitter for connor?]
—————
2017
(Evan considers this as Alana stares out, plaintively, yearning.)
ALANA: If Connor meant something to you, please re-tweet. Or private message me if you just want to talk. At times like these, we could all use a friend.
2025
EVAN considers this, as ALANA looks out plaintively, yearning.
ALANА: If Connor meant something to you… please share. Or message me if you just want to talk. At times like these, we could all use a friend.
[no more twitter for anyone, i guess.]
—————
2017
Dinner at the Murphys.
Prominently, in the center of the table, a bowl of fresh apples. Evan is afraid to move or make a sound.
Larry serves himself seconds.
LARRY: Would anyone else like some more chicken?
CYNTHIA: I think you’re the only one with an appetite, Larry.
LARRY (Defensive): The Harrises brought it over.
CYNTHIA (To Evan): Did Connor tell you about the Harrises?
2025
Dinner at the Murphys.
Prominently, in the center of the table, a bowl of fresh apples. EVAN is afraid to move or make a sound.
HE holds a fork, but doesn't eat.
LARRY serves himself from a plate of chicken.
LARRY: Would anyone else like some more chicken?
CYNTHIA: I think you're the only one with an appetite, Larry.
LARRY: The Harrises brought it over.
Awkward beat.
CYNTHIA: (to Evan) Did Connor tell you about the Harrises?
—————
2017
CYNTHIA: So you guys, you… you hung out a lot?
EVAN: Pretty much.
2025
CYNTHIA: So you guys, you… you hung out a lot?
EVAN looks at CYNTHIA, sees the expectation in her eyes.
EVAN: Pretty much.
—————
2017
ZOE: Well, Connor wasn’t very nice, so that makes sense.
(Cynthia takes a breath, struggles to maintain her poise.)
CYNTHIA: Connor was… he was a complicated person.
2025
ZOE: Well, Connor wasn't very nice, so that makes sense.
CYNTHIA puts her silverware down, sighs.
CYNTHIA: Connor was… he was a complicated person.
—————
2017
CYNTHIA: / There were good things.
(Before even thinking, Evan finds the words tumbling out.)
EVAN: I remember a lot of good things about Connor.
(All eyes turn to him at once, as he realizes what he’s done.)
ZOE: Like what?
EVAN: Never mind. I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry, never mind.
CYNTHIA: No, Evan. You were saying something.
EVAN: It doesn’t matter. Really.
CYNTHIA: We want to hear what you have to say. Please.
(Beat.)
2025
CYNTHIA: There were good things.
EVAN feels compelled to interject before thinking.
EVAN: I remember a lot of good things about Connor.
All eyes turn to EVAN, as he realizes what he's done. HE instantly regrets saying anything.
ZOE: Like what?
EVAN: Never mind. I shouldn't have, I'm sorry, never mind.
CYNTHIA: No, Evan. You were saying something.
EVAN: It doesn't matter. Really.
CYNTHIA: We want to hear what you have to say. Please.
EVAN feels the need emanating from CYNTHIA.
[really leaning into reminding us that evan is doing this for cynthia.]
—————
2017
LARRY (Can’t help but smile): That was an emergency landing.
CYNTHIA (To Evan): I can’t believe he took you there. I bet that was fun. I bet you two, I bet you had fun.
2025
LARRY: That was an emergency landing.
CYNTHIA shakes her head, smiling at the memories.
CYNTHIA: (to Evan) I can't believe he took you there. I bet that was fun. I bet you two, I bet you had fun.
—————
2017
EVAN (Realizing the truth of this as he says it): They didn’t want me to stop.
2025
EVAN: (realizing) They didn't want me to stop.
—————
2017
JARED: Fine. But you’re a dick.
(Lights out on Jared. Heidi enters Evan’s bedroom, carrying a sheaf of papers, still in her work clothes.)
HEIDI: Hey you. I have some very exciting news. Look what I found online today: college scholarship essay contests. Have you heard of these?
EVAN: I think so…
HEIDI: NPR did a whole thing about it this morning. There are a million different ones you can do. A million different topics. I spent my whole lunch break looking these up.
(She hands him the pages, summarizing each one as she does.)
2025
JARED: Fine. But you're a dick.
Lights out on JARED.
HEIDI enters, carrying a sheaf of papers.
HEIDI: Hey you. I have some very exciting news. Look what I found online today.
EVAN leafs through the pages.
HE's not nearly as excited as HEIDI is.
College scholarship essay contests. Have you heard of these?
EVAN: I think so.
HEIDI: NPR did a whole thing about it this morning. There are a million different ones you can do. A million different topics. I spent my whole lunch break looking these up.
SHE skims through them.
—————
2017
(Heidi, unable to ignore the obvious any longer, points to Evan’s cast.)
HEIDI: All right. It says, “Connor.”
EVAN: Oh. Yeah. No.
HEIDI: You said you didn’t know him.
EVAN: No. I didn’t. This is… it’s a different Connor.
(Heidi sighs, relieved, as she smiles at her own anxiety.)
HEIDI: I was so worried.
EVAN: No. I’m sure.
2025
HEIDI points to EVAN's cast.
HEIDI: It says, "Connor" on your…
EVAN: Oh. Yeah. No.
HEIDI: You said you didn't know him.
EVAN: No. I didn't. This is just… it's in memory. You know? People at school were… writing his name. On their lockers and…
Beat.
HEIDI relaxes, smiles at her own anxiety.
HEIDI: I was so worried.
EVAN: No. I'm sure.
HEIDI: That's… how nice.
[smart way to make this lie marginally more plausible!]
—————
2017
EVAN: I love you, too.
(She stands there in the doorway for a moment, hesitating, unsettled somehow. Finally, she shuts the door.)
2025
EVAN: I love you, too.
SHE stands there in the doorway for a moment, hesitating.
Finally, SHE shuts the door as lights shift.
—————
2017
CONNOR:
BUT I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT I THINK OF YOU EACH NIGHT
I RUB MY NIPPLES AND START MOANING WITH DELIGHT
(Lights snap up on Jared, typing on a laptop, as Evan stands, reading over his shoulder with dismay.)
2025
CONNOR:
BUT I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT I THINK OF YOU EACH NIGHT
I RUB MY NIPPLES AND START MOANING WITH DELIGHT
Lights snap up on JARED typing on a laptop, EVAN looking over his shoulder.
—————
2017
CONNOR:
I’VE GOTTA TELL YOU, LIFE WITHOUT YOU HAS BEEN HARD
JARED (Laughing): Hard?
CONNOR:
HAS BEEN BAD
JARED (Meh): Bad?
CONNOR:
HAS BEEN ROUGH
JARED (Just right): Kinky!
2025
CONNOR:
I GOTTA TELL YA, LIFE WITHOUT YOU HAS BEEN HARD
JARED: (laughing) Hard?
CONNOR:
HAS BEEN BAD
JARED: Bad?
CONNOR:
HAS BEEN ROUGH
JARED: Kinky!
[stage directions :(]
—————
2017
CONNOR:
IF I STOP SMOKING CRACK
EVAN (Aghast): Crack?
2025
CONNOR:
IF I STOP SMOKING CRACK
EVAN: Crack?
[stage directions :( :(]
—————
2017
CYNTHIA: It would be my pleasure. We would love to have you.
(Cynthia looks to Larry and Zoe for affirmation. Neither says anything. Larry, picking up on the tension, motions to Evan.)
LARRY: Why don’t I show you out?
2025
CYNTHIA: It would be my pleasure. We would love to have you.
CYNTHIA looks to ZOE, who says nothing.
CYNTHIA turns to LARRY, wanting some private time with ZOE.
LARRY: (to Evan) Why don't I show you out?
—————
2017
LARRY: / Not tonight. Please.
(She holds out one of the printed emails.)
CYNTHIA: Just read this.
(Reluctantly, Larry takes the email without even glancing at it.)
LARRY: I’ll leave the light on for you.
2025
LARRY: Not tonight. Please.
SHE holds out an email.
CYNTHIA: Just read this.
Beat.
LARRY: I'll leave the light on for you.
—————
2017
Evan and Alana, online.
ALANA: Evan. Hey, it’s Alana. How are you? How is everything?
2025
EVAN and ALANA, online.
ALANA proceeds delicately, as though ministering to a small, wounded animal.
ALANA: Evan. Hey, it's Alana. How are you? How is everything?
[this made me burst out laughing the first time i read it. i love alana.]
—————
2017
EVAN:
IF I COULD TELL HER
IF I COULD…
(Evan kisses her. It’s rash and impulsive and he does it before he even thinks about it. She pulls away, stunned.)
ZOE: What are you doing?
EVAN (Fumbling for something, anything to say): Um… I just um…
2025
EVAN:
IF I COULD TELL HER
IF I COULD…
EVAN shuts his eyes, leans in as if they are about to kiss.
SHE stares at him, stunned.
ZOE: What are you doing?
EVAN: Oh no. I just um… I wasn't…
[i can’t believe you {checks notes} didn’t kiss zoe murphy on her brother’s bed after he died.]
—————
2017
JARED: You what?
EVAN: I didn’t mean to, it just happened.
JARED: I can’t believe you tried to kiss Zoe Murphy on her brother’s bed. After he died.
2025
JARED: You what?
EVAN: I didn't actually — nothing happened.
JARED: I can't believe you tried to kiss Zoe Murphy on her brother's bed. After he died.
[to be fair, “tried to kiss” was always the operative phrase.]
—————
2017
CONNOR: Why don’t you talk to Zoe?
(And suddenly Connor is there beside him. There is nothing spectral or spooky about Connor’s presence, and Evan is not at all surprised to see him.)
2025
CONNOR: Why don't you talk to Zoe?
And suddenly CONNOR is there beside him.
There is nothing spectral or spooky about Connor's presence, and EVAN is not surprised to see him. He is an extension of Evan.
[really spelling it out for the audience there.]
—————
2017
CONNOR: And once they’ve forgotten about me, what do you think happens to you? I mean, nobody cares about people like us.
EVAN: “People like us”?
2025
CONNOR: And once they've forgotten about me, what do you think happens to you? I mean, nobody cares about people like us.
EVAN looks at him, surprised by this turn.
EVAN: "People like us?"
—————
2017
EVAN:
‘CAUSE NO ONE DESERVES TO BE FORGOTTEN
ALANA/JARED:
NO ONE DESERVES TO FADE AWAY
2025
EVAN:
'CAUSE NO ONE DESERVES TO BE FORGOTTEN
ALANA nods, a true believer.
ALANA/JARED:
NO ONE DESERVES TO FADE AWAY
—————
2017
(As the darkness lifts, something inside of Larry shifts. He stares up at the screens, images of his son surrounding him. He turns to Cynthia. He can no longer hold back his emotion. In an instant, all of his defenses, all of the hurt and anger calcified over years, decades — all of it shatters at once, irrevocably. He breaks down. Cynthia holds him. They stand there, surrounded by light, holding one another.)
2025
…
—————
2017
(Zoe sits on Connor’s bed, staring at a laptop screen, her expression unreadable, as the screens around her continue to swirl and pulse.)
2025
…
—————
2017
(Lights find Evan in his bedroom, speaking into his laptop screen, something unmistakably different about him, a newfound confidence.)
EVAN: Hi I’m Evan. I’m co-president of The Connor Project.
2025
A pin spot finds EVAN in his room.
EVAN: Hi I'm Evan. I'm co-president of the Connor Project.
—————
2017
CONNOR:
SO MANY PEOPLE END UP SUCKING DICK FOR METH
(Lights snap up on Jared, elsewhere, typing on his computer, enjoying himself immensely. Evan, sitting at his laptop in his bedroom, shakes his head, chagrined.)
2025
CONNOR:
SO MANY PEOPLE END UP SUCKING DICK FOR METH
Lights snap up suddenly on Jared elsewhere, typing on his computer, enjoying himself immensely.
—————
2017
(Unable to take any more of this, Evan stands, and the music cuts out.)
EVAN: Okay. No, Jared. Obviously not.
(Jared and Connor turn to look at Evan, confused, unsure what he finds objectionable.)
JARED: What? What’s the problem?
EVAN: You weren’t friends with him. That’s not part of the story. I was his only friend. You know that. You can’t just make things up. You need to redo it.
(Jared escorts his imagined Connor offstage.)
JARED: You’re totally right.
2025
EVAN: Ok. No, Jared. Obviously not.
JARED: What? What's the problem?
EVAN: You weren't friends with him. That's not part of the story. I was his only friend. You know that. You can't just make things up. You need to redo it.
JARED: You're totally right.
[stage directions :( :( :(]
—————
2017
HEIDI: I saw the strangest thing on Facebook today.
2025
HEIDI: I saw the strangest thing on my Instagram today.
[all those years of arguing over whether or not heidi would have facebook and now she’s on instagram? what a world.]
—————
2017
HEIDI: You told me you didn’t know him. That boy?
EVAN: I know. But.
HEIDI: But then in your speech, you said he was your best friend.
EVAN: Well, because it wasn’t true. When I…
(He hesitates for just a moment. The perfect opportunity to tell the truth. He makes his choice.)
When I said I didn’t know him.
2025
HEIDI: You told me you didn't know him. That boy?
EVAN: I know. But.
HEIDI: But then in your speech, you said he was your best friend.
EVAN: (regaining his poise) Well, because it wasn't true. When I… when I said I didn't know him.
[very different vibes!]
—————
2017
EVAN: I should go.
(Evan turns to leave. Heidi picks up a bottle of pills.)
HEIDI: You okay on refills?
EVAN: I’m not taking them anymore.
HEIDI (Surprised): Oh.
EVAN: I haven’t needed them.
HEIDI: Really? So, no anxiety or…? Even with everything that’s…?
EVAN: I’ve been fine.
HEIDI: Well, great. That’s great. It’s… I’m proud of you. I guess those letters to yourself must have really helped, huh?
2025
EVAN: I should go.
EVAN turns to leave.
HEIDI picks up the bottle of pills.
HEIDI: You okay on refills?
EVAN: I'm fine.
Beat.
HEIDI: I'm proud of you. The speech you gave, it was… I guess those letters to yourself must have really helped, huh?
[i suppose this was inevitable.]
—————
2017
(Zoe enters. She and Evan share a furtive smile.)
ZOE (To Larry): Mom says that your show is on and she doesn’t want to DVR it again.
LARRY: Well, tell her we’re busy.
2025
ZOE enters.
ZOE (To Larry): Mom says she's starting your show in five minutes with or without you.
LARRY: Well, tell her I'm busy.
[current contents of the dustbin of DEH-story: twitter, facebook, DVR. though larry’s later line about “read the Facebook” hasn’t changed.]
—————
2017
(Zoe exits.)
LARRY (Laughs): Women. Right?
(Evan attempts to laugh along, one of the guys.)
EVAN: I know.
LARRY (Gingerly): So you and Zoe…?
EVAN (Desperate to avoid the subject): This glove is really cool. Wow.
2025
ZOE goes. LARRY laughs.
LARRY: Women. Right?
(Evan laughs, uncomfortable.)
EVAN: I know.
LARRY (Gingerly): So you and Zoe…?
EVAN shrugs, embarrassed.
EVAN (desperate to change the subject): This glove is really cool. Wow.
[really disappointed to lose the “one of the guys” direction here.]
—————
2017
JARED: Look at you, helping the Murphys.
(Jared exits.)
ZOE (To Evan): What was that?
EVAN (Hiding his misgivings with a smile): It’s nothing.
2025
JARED: (exiting) Look at you, helping the Murphys.
ZOE: What was that?
EVAN: It's nothing.
[stage directions :( :( :( :(]
—————
2017
EVAN: Well, it’s not my fault that other people can.
(He leaves. Heidi stands there, stunned.)
2025
EVAN: Well, it's not my fault that other people can.
HE leaves.
—————
2017
(As Alana goes, Jared enters.)
EVAN: We need more emails. Emails showing that he was getting worse.
2025
As ALANA goes, EVAN turns.
As in a nightmare, he runs right into Jared.
EVAN: We need more emails. Emails showing that he was getting worse.
[stage directions :)]
—————
2017
JARED (Like a helpless, heartbroken little kid): Fuck you, Evan. Asshole.
(He turns and goes. Evan stands there, assaulted from all directions, unable to escape.)
2025
JARED: (like a helpless, heartbroken little kid) Fuck you, Evan. Asshole.
He turns and goes.
Evan stands there, stunned.
—————
2017
ALANA: Do you know how easy it is to create a fake email account? Backdate emails? Because I do.
(Evan begins to feel desperate.)
I don’t have time for this. I have to raise seventeen thousand dollars.
2025
ALANA: Do you know how easy it is to create a fake email account? Backdate emails? Because I do.
Beat.
Did you lie to me, Evan? Did I… lie to all these people?
EVAN says nothing.
You know what? I don't have time for this. I have to raise seventeen thousand dollars.
[this new line is taken almost verbatim from the equivalent scene in the movie.]
—————
2017
CYNTHIA (To Larry): / Some of these are adults. Do you see their pictures? These are adults.
(A cell phone rings. Zoe reaches for it.)
LARRY: Maybe let it ring, Zoe.
2025
CYNTHIA: (to Larry) Some of these are adults. Do you see their pictures? These are adults.
A cell phone rings. EVERYONE freezes.
Zoe picks it up to answer it, stoically.
LARRY: Maybe let it ring, Zoe.
—————
2017
EVAN: It wasn’t a… it was an assignment from my therapist. Write a letter to yourself. A pep talk. “Dear Evan Hansen: Today is going to be an amazing day and here’s why.”
LARRY (Unable to make sense of this): I don’t think…
2025
EVAN: It wasn't a… it was an assignment from my therapist. Write a letter to yourself. A pep talk. "Dear Evan Hansen: Today is going to be an amazing day and here's why."
LARRY and CYNTHIA look at one another, in total confusion.
LARRY: I don't think…
—————
2017
(Zoe stands. She looks at Evan. She goes. Cynthia goes after her. Larry stands there for a moment. Finally, he, too, goes. Evan turns to see Connor there. The light slowly, very slowly goes out on Connor. And Evan is alone.)
2025
ZOE stands.
SHE looks at EVAN, heartbroken, unable to say anything. SHE goes.
CYNTHIA goes after her.
LARRY stands there for a moment. Finally, HE, too, goes.
EVAN turns to see CONNOR there.
The light slowly, very slowly goes out on Conner. And Evan is alone.
[yes, they really spelled it “conner”.]
—————
2017
HEIDI: Have you seen this? The note that Connor Murphy…
(Evan nods.)
It’s all over everyone’s Facebook.
2025
HEIDI: Have you seen this? The note that Connor Murphy…
EVAN nods.
Everyone's writing about it.
[you know you can say “posting”, right?]
—————
2017
ZOE: It’s been… hard. It’s been a hard year.
EVAN (For him, as well): I know.
2025
ZOE: It's been… hard. It's been a hard year.
EVAN: I know.
—————
2017
EVAN: Maybe some day, some other kid is going to be standing here, staring out at the trees, feeling so… alone, wondering if maybe the world might look different from all the way up there. Better. Maybe he’ll start climbing, one branch at a time, and he’ll keep going, even when it seems like he can’t find another foothold. Even when it feels… hopeless. Like everything is telling him to let go. This time, maybe this time, he won’t let go. He’ll just… hold on and he’ll keep going.
He’ll keep going until he sees the sun.
2025
EVAN: Maybe some day, some other kid is going to be standing here, staring out at the trees, feeling so… alone, wondering if maybe the world might look different from all the way up there. Better. Maybe they'll start climbing, one branch at a time, and they'll keep going, even when it seems like they can't find another foothold. Even when it feels… hopeless. Like everything is telling them to let go. This time, maybe this time, they won't let go. They'll just… hold on and they'll keep going.
They'll keep going until they see the sun.
reheating nachos with this one but the squip as a critique of (and therefore metaphor for) the psychiatric industry, specifically in contexts in which the wellbeing of the patient isn’t prioritized, making them “normal” is.
