am i a womf?

26 • Detrans Lesbian • My pronouns are sex-based, like my opptession.

[keisluvr-deactivated20210327]

STOP ASIAN HATE

Like and reblog

[user610138]

I know this has been said a hundred times already, but if radical feminists were actually on par with dangerous right wing hate groups, then there wouldn’t be countless posts made by us that get thousands of notes. You’d never see a post about racial justice made by a white supremacist and say “op is racist but this is a good point so I’m stealing this.” Yet I’ve seen countless posts about issues like sexism, female socialization, and reproductive rights made by radfems, and the notes get flooded with “op is a terf so i’m stealing this.” Even when we make apolitical memes people lose their minds over the fact that they just laughed at a joke made by a terf and then mass report our blogs until they get deleted. I hate to break it to you, but you wouldn’t be reblogging with our posts if you didn’t agree with radical feminist ideology to some extent.

[wombshaker]

“Why Don’t Women Just Leave?”

Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the two weeks after leaving than at any other time during the relationship. When leaving is more fatal than staying, the choice to leave becomes an act of bravery in the face of grave danger.

24-40% of police officers are domestic abusers. This is 2.4 to 4 times the rate in the general population. When a large portion of the police force are abusers themselves, it’s unlikely survivors will be taken serious by the authorities

On average, a victim attempts to leave 7 times before finally leaving for good. Women do “just leave” but abusers have no problem making that as difficult as possible.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of homelessness for women and children. For many, leaving can “seal their fate” due to the total financial dependency fostered by the abuser.

If you or someone you know is currently experiencing domestic abuse or is a survivor of domestic violence, the following resources are available:

http://www.standffov.org/resources

http://dvipiowa.org/resources/

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help

[tsami]

24-40% of police are REPORTED domestic abusers. Remember who the reports are made to.

[she-volution-deactivated2022052]

that comment by tsami gave me chills, like cops are my backup plan, i keep thinking if someone follows me i’ll dial the number of the nearby police station, what happens if i can’t rely on the police?

[plannedparenthood]

Getting and giving consent doesn’t just happen when things are starting to get sexy — it’s got to happen the whole time, every time. That means checking in with your partner to make sure everything that’s happening is still okay. And if they pause or don’t say yes, it’s time to stop and check in with your partner.

[fetishpolice]

something the ddlg community seems to fail to acknowledge is that sexual arousal and orgasms are powerful conditioning tools. if you and your daddy sexualize childlike behavior, children’s innocence and helplessness, childlike speech/baby talk, children’s objects and toys, children’s clothing, etc etc these things will become sexual to you, anyone who’s taken the most basic psychology course can tell you this. your brains will literally begin to associate them on their own with sexual arousal and your “daddy’s” brain and dick will respond accordingly. he might absolutely get turned on seeing a child behaving and dressing and talking the very same way his “little” does simply because he’s used to all of these things being involved when he gets off.

he might not have started out as a pedophile and the two of you may be “consenting adults”, but use your critical thinking for a moment and realize that normalizing this pedophilic dynamic will make you both desensitized to it. the same way continuous exposure to violent porn creates a link between violence and sexual arousal for those consuming it, being turned on and getting orgasms while roleplaying pedophilia will cause a link to form between sexual arousal and childlike. your kink harms children, bye

[sjwyerin]

i forget where I heard this from, but it’s like this: you’re conditioning yourself to react to specific things in a sexual way

think of it like a bell rings whenever a dog is about to get fed. soon the dog begins salivating and getting excited every time it hears a bell ring bc it associates that sound with getting fed.

by partaking in the ddlg kink, you’re associating sexual things with specific childlike behaviour, and soon enough every time you see these things you’re gonna react in the same way bc of the sexual connotations you’re associating that behaviour with

[quietanti]

I found it!! It’s called ‘classical conditioning’ or ‘Pavlovian conditioning,’ and the experiment you’re referring to is often called ‘Pavlov’s dog!’

[awaitingthematriarchy-blog]

There was a very interesting study done by Rachman in 1966 where he showed that the same principles demonstrated in Pavlovian Conditioning can lead men to ‘train’ themselves into developing new fetishes. He showed a test group of heterosexual men pictures of sexualised women together with pictures of boots. After repeated exposure, the men eventually demonstrated a sexual response to the pictures of the boots in isolation, and, on further study, were shown to extend their sexual responses to other kinds of women’s footwear that had not been pictured - in short, they ‘learned’ to have a shoe fetish. If we replace the boot of Rachman’s study with the paraphernalia associated with the DDLG community (diapers, stuffies, pacifiers etc) then the danger posed to children becomes pretty obvious.

(Source: https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=6mD1BwAAQBAJ&pg=PA786&lpg=PA786&dq=rachman+1966+study+boot&source=bl&ots=ZCzA-ga7Vk&sig=ZLg4On-pAuuMU4w_RxFeI9JXyLc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwis0Pn947DRAhUGzWMKHctLDzcQ6AEILjAF#v=onepage&q=rachman%201966%20study%20boot&f=false)

[maaarine]

We always speak of women’s safety. Let’s talk about male violence instead (Anne Enright, The Guardian, Mar 20 2021)

“They admit to rape but not to blame: “I felt I was repaying her for sexually arousing me,” a man in one of the few studies says.

On a Reddit forum where, at the onset of the #MeToo revolution, my soul went to die, men wrote “from the other side” of sexual assault.

Their accounts implied covert participation – “She just had this unusually sexual way of carrying herself” – or active reciproca­tion: “In my mind, at the time, she wanted it.” (…)

Men do not just disappear in court, they disappear from the discussion, they disappear from the lang­uage we use.

Rape is described as “a women’s issue”. We speak of “women’s safety concerns”, not “con­cerns about men’s violence”.

We call it “an abusive relation­ship” as though the relationship were doing the abus­ing, or an “abusive home” as though the walls were insulting the occupants for fun.

The notor­ious line “she was asking for it” is not so differ­ent to “a woman was raped”; both take the rapist out of the sentence.

Male agency is routinely removed from descriptions of male violence, and this helps men get away with it. (…)

The vengeful sentence “I felt I was repaying her for arousing me,” feels very familiar to women, who are long tired of the weirdness it contains.

But the man who said it also seems to consider arousal to be a kind of punishment. It is not pleasant. It is unfair.

The man who says, “This is her fault, she did this,” feels as though he has been acted upon.

He is passive, perhaps unbearably so. This man is taking himself out of his own desiring; you might say he is obliterating himself.

If I were a man, I might want to put my self back into the discussion, I might want to do a reality check.

But if I were a man, I wouldn’t be writing this because writing about rape, talking about rape, protesting against rape and being raped are all women’s work.”

[whitepeopletwitter]

[punkfem]

so i fucked up and read that article. basically i feel physically sick and im shaking and in tears. the thing that fucks me up the worst is that this is on pornhub. a legal site. i’d always assumed it was tame and that you’d have to go onto the dark web to find actual violence. but no. videos of women being beaten and punched, suffocated, vomiting and almost drowning in toilets, women being hanged. women having pins stuck in their clits. women screaming no and begging it to stop being called a bitch for ‘ruining’ the scene. girls being fucked by their ‘fathers’. women being used and abused. women literally being pissed on and drinking piss. women being gang raped. women being fucked in the ass and then having to eat the shit off the man’s dick. this is legal. this is easily accessible. this is what is feeding the minds of men and boys. what gets me the most is the comments section. pigs complaining that the camera work was shit. or the music was weird. or even worse, the men saying these women weren’t being tortured bad enough and that he could do it better. the likes these get. the men who don’t give a fucking damn about women and girls. looking at these comments i see pure hatred. pure sadistic hatred. i see monsters. men who don’t care about women. men who would see a woman die if it meant he could desecrate her corpse. men who want women to die. and the scariest thing is that these men could be your teacher, your colleague, your taxi driver. one of your friends. your father. no one fucking questions this though. everyone praises the shit out of pornhub for ploughing snow off the streets. or for saying a funny clap back on twitter. no one cares. no one cares about the abuse of girls and women. the only thing these porn makers care about is making money. a women screaming no isn’t enough, if that’s the kink they’re after. if she ruins the scene by passing out that’s her fault. porn watchers only care about power. they only care about orgasms and they don’t care about women.

and mind you, these videos have hundreds of thousands of views.

i shudder to think what isn’t on pornhub, what’s harder to get to. child pornography. actual dead women. further torture and violence and murder.

i’m sick to my stomach.

PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE.  PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE. PORN IS RAPE ON TAPE. PORN IS VIOLENCE.

http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftheviolenceofpornography.blogspot.com.au%2F2017%2F11%2Fthe-hatred-of-women.html%3Fzx%3D8e98937d5747a462&t=YjUxN2Q0ZjRmZmY2NjgwMDlkZGVmNWEzMjdkNGJkNWFiMmNmYzViNyxhNkxqVzdBYw%3D%3D&b=t%3AzW5PW8_ndE6ULYf_AE_Y2A&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwhyyoualwayssoradical.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F167548863446%2Fthe-hatred-of-women&m=1

please read at your own risk.

[holyvvolf]

Videos like that are absolutely everywhere on every porn site, with INCREASINGLY more popularity and acceptance, its become rapidly normalized and absolutely no one is talking about it, its so fucked up, but whats more fucking scary is how many people STILL defend the porn industry and say that we’re making it up. Im so tired

[radgoblin]

Here’s a summary of the article that’s been being reblogged for anyone who can’t bear to look at it. I shouldn’t have. I couldn’t fall asleep until 7 am because every time I closed my eyes, those images were there.

[cecaeliawitch]

People are wondering why millenial men are more misogynistic than their fathers

[politicalsci]

[outlanderalien]

Context for anyone out of the loop:

Sarah Everard was kidnapped and murdered by a police officer, her remains were identified earlier this week.

This resonated across the country, as women feel they cannot even trust police. A vigil was planned to honour her and also to become a Reclaim The Night march, where women nationwide would go out en masse at night in protest of being told to stay indoors to avoid getting murdered.

Initially this vigil was set to go ahead, but the met stepped in and declared that it was unsafe due to COVID (there is currently a ban on all peaceful protest as part of COVID restrictions, yet during lockdown the met has allowed other protests to go ahead if they believe they will get violent if they don’t. This literally discourages peaceful protest and encourages violent protest)

Of course the vigil goes ahead regardless and police move in to disperse it. Police become violent and they begin manhandling/grabbing/dragging the women who were just peacefully marching to honour the memory of a woman killed by a policeman.

[fromonesurvivortoanother]

Thoughts on the "penis-repulsed" lesbian

(Trigger warning: transmisogyny, rape, suicide)

Two years ago I dated a cis woman for two months. In that time, we had sex at least 50+ times. She said “I love you”, joked about running away together, called me her soulmate, and made many other lofty promises. Then one day out of nowhere she breaks up with me, saying she has some mental health issues she sometimes deals with and shouldn’t be with anyone right now.

For six months we have an on and off flirtation with lots of “I miss you"s and more “I love you"s thrown around, and even some sexually explicit photos. Then she finally admits that she broke up with me because I have a dick.

Apparently she was penetratively raped by a cis man when she was younger, and my body was triggering for her. Okay but, 95% of the sex we had didn’t involve penetration at all? We had sex dozens and dozens of times? She called me her soulmate?

Turns out, all that mental illness bullshit of “I just shouldn’t be with anyone” was actually “I just shouldn’t be with you, a girl with a dick”.

She never gives me– no, US– a chance to make things work. She never communicates her feelings of trauma despite my baring pretty much everything about my own many years of child sexual abuse and rape. She never thinks, “hey, maybe this person would understand how I’m feeling and I can reach out to them”. She never tries to make it work, despite calling me her “soulmate”. She never stops to think that sex with a trans woman does not necessarily involve penetration. I even tell her this, and say I don’t care about sex at all, I just want to be with her, I’d even be fucking celibate, and she isn’t convinced. She “just wouldn’t feel safe”.

Honestly I feel like I was fucking used as an experiment, just like several previous relationships. Her trigger wasn’t transphobic, but her TREATMENT of me was– I went from “dream girl” (her words) to nothing in an instant. I wasted six months thinking I’d be back together with this person.

And that’s the difference here, because you wouldn’t see a cis woman treated the same way. This cis woman made everything about her trauma without stopping to consider how fucked up it would make me feel, as a survivor, to be implicitly called a potential rapist because of my body. Instead of having the guts to admit the truth, or work things out, she made me spend half a year waiting and hopeful, only to fuck me up so bad that I was suicidal and spent another six months trying to recover from this fiasco.

My transness made me totally unapproachable and impossible to talk to, apparently. My transness made my feelings matter less than a cis woman’s. My transness made me undeserving of an honest explanation, of any sort of apology, and of any consideration for my own experiences as a survivor. And this is what happens to trans women who are also survivors every day– we are traumatized by society and then the cis women we love, who are supposed to be safe, betray us and treat us even worse.

I promise you, behind every story of “I’m a cis woman and I once dated a trans woman and I realized I’m just repulsed by penises”, there’s a heartbroken, irreparably damaged trans woman who has probably thought about, if not tried, to kill herself because of the experience of feeling as if your entire body, your very existence is wrong, or that you were unwittingly used as a “learning experience” or “experiment” . There’s a cis woman who couldn’t reconcile their transmisogyny to make a loving, communicative partnership work, and who instead took the path of least resistance, which meant stepping all over an extremely vulnerable and multiply-traumatized person in the process.

[larpsandtherealgirl]

Elle, 26. Taiwanese American, disabled, trans woman, Appalachian lesbian from Lexington, KY. My life is a big mess, and that’s okay. You can find more about me here. 

Two years ago I dated a cis woman for two months. In that time, we had sex at least 50+ times. She said “I love you”, joked about running away together, called me her soulmate, and made many other lofty promises. 

Yeah this is fairly typical behaviour of a couple in their early 20′s.

Then one day out of nowhere she breaks up with me, saying she has some mental health issues she sometimes deals with and shouldn’t be with anyone right now.

So she set a boundary for herself for the benefit of her mental health. Good for her.

For six months we have an on and off flirtation with lots of “I miss you"s and more “I love you"s thrown around, and even some sexually explicit photos.

Once again, not atypical behaviour in an early 20′s breakup.

 Then she finally admits that she broke up with me because I have a dick.

Clearly you’re not compatible.

Apparently she was penetratively raped by a cis man when she was younger, and my body was triggering for her. 

So she was raped by a male and feels uncomfortable with male genitalia. This is a fairly common reaction to sexual trauma. 

Okay but, 95% of the sex we had didn’t involve penetration at all? We had sex dozens and dozens of times? 

If you’re uncomfortable with penises than any sex act, including non-penetrative ones, is going to make you uncomfortable. 

She called me her soulmate?

Turns out you weren’t soul mates.

Turns out, all that mental illness bullshit of “I just shouldn’t be with anyone” was actually “I just shouldn’t be with you, a girl with a dick”.

A victim of sexual assault ended a relationship for the benefit of her mental health after determining that she was uncomfortable with male genitalia. This is a perfectly reasonable decision. 

You are taking a decision she made for her wellbeing, making it about yourself, and distorting reality by implying that she made this choice because you’re transgender (”a girl with a dick”). She made this choice because you have a penis and she is uncomfortable with penises. This has nothing to do with your “gender identity”. You are twisting facts to make yourself out to be a victim of “transphobia”. 

She never gives me– no, US– a chance to make things work. 

You are not entitled to a relationship with her. You dated two years ago for two months. Accept the fact that she has a right to make decisions for herself and move on. 

She never communicates her feelings of trauma despite my baring pretty much everything about my own many years of child sexual abuse and rape. 

She is not obligated to disclose anything to you just because you choose to disclose many highly personal details.

She never thinks, “hey, maybe this person would understand how I’m feeling and I can reach out to them”. 

You never think “hey, maybe this person doesn’t want to relive the trauma she experienced by sharing it with someone who doesn’t respect her right to set personal boundaries”

She never tries to make it work, despite calling me her “soulmate”. 

She’s not interested, dude. You’re gonna have to come to terms with that.

She never stops to think that sex with a trans woman does not necessarily involve penetration. 

You have a dick. She’s uncomfortable with dick. This is really not difficult to understand.

I even tell her this, and say I don’t care about sex at all, I just want to be with her, I’d even be fucking celibate, 

Maybe she doesn’t want a sexless relationship with someone she feels uncomfortable with? Maybe she wants a sexually fulfilling relationship with someone she’s actually comfortable around? Or no relationship at all? Just a thonk.

and she isn’t convinced. She “just wouldn’t feel safe”.

Maybe stop trying to “convince” her to do things she doesn’t feel safe doing?

Honestly I feel like I was fucking used as an experiment, just like several previous relationships. 

So you’re projecting past experiences (which you also haven’t moved on from) onto her. Lovely.

Her trigger wasn’t transphobic, 

A trigger can’t be transphobic.

but her TREATMENT of me was– 

We’ve already established that her decision not to date you is entirely reasonable. Not dating someone isn’t an act of discrimination. 

I went from “dream girl” (her words) to nothing in an instant. 

So you were really enjoying being put on a pedestal until she dumped you.

I wasted six months thinking I’d be back together with this person.

It’s unfortunate that you didn’t set appropriate boundaries for yourself and stop contacting this person after the breakup. It’s also unfortunate that you blame her for the fact that you kept your hopes up even though she communicated that she does not want to date you.

And that’s the difference here, because you wouldn’t see a cis woman treated the same way. 

A “cis” woman wouldn’t be dumped due to another woman’s penis repulsion because “cis” women don’t have cocks.

This cis woman made everything about her trauma 

Which she has a right to do seeing as she doesn’t owe anyone anything and can prioritize her mental health if she so chooses.

without stopping to consider how fucked up it would make me feel, as a survivor, to be implicitly called a potential rapist because of my body. 

As a “survivor” one would expect you to be able to empathize with her not wanting to date someone whose genitals make her feel uncomfortable, seeing as coercing someone into having sex that makes them uncomfortable is rape.

Rape affects women disproportionately, with the majority of people convicted being male. The man who attacked her was male. You are male. Given your repeated lack of respect for her boundaries and obvious sense of entitlement to her sexual interest, I am not surprised that she feels unsafe with you.

Instead of having the guts to admit the truth, or work things out, she made me spend half a year waiting and hopeful, 

She told you that she was uncomfortable with dick and you spent 6 months being hopeful that a relationship could occur between you? That sounds like a you problem, buddy.

only to fuck me up so bad that I was suicidal and spent another six months trying to recover from this fiasco.

So you threatened suicide when she re-asserted that she wasn’t interested in dating you. Perhaps you’re the one who needs to take some time off dating to work on your mental health, or rather your abusive behaviour and attitude of entitlement towards women.

My transness made me totally unapproachable and impossible to talk to, apparently. 

Ah yes, it’s the “transness”, not the myriad of red-flag behaviours. This is my favourite tranny meme. 0 accountability for their actions, ”everyone leaves me because muh transness”. If these people didn’t like you because you were a tranny they wouldn’t have started dating you to begin with. Yet somehow it’s always the transness that’s to blame.

My transness made my feelings matter less than a cis woman’s.

Your sack and dongle made a rape victim uncomfortable, hon.

My transness made me undeserving of an honest explanation,

How is “I’m working on my mental health” not an honest explanation. She left a relationship that caused her distress due to her discomfort with male genitalia. That’s an excellent decision for her mental health.

of any sort of apology,

She doesn’t owe you an apology. She doesn’t owe you a relationship, She has done nothing wrong. She set a boundary for herself. If you’re offended by her right to set boundaries for herself then you’re the problem here.

and of any consideration for my own experiences as a survivor.

The fact that you were raped doesn’t mean she owes you a relationship, or any information about her own experience of being raped.  

And this is what happens to trans women who are also survivors every day– we are traumatized by society and then the cis women we love, who are supposed to be safe, betray us and treat us even worse.

So every day trans “women” try to guilt “cis” women into sex and then call themselves a victim of oppression when the women refuse?

I promise you, behind every story of “I’m a cis woman and I once dated a trans woman and I realized I’m just repulsed by penises”, there’s a heartbroken, irreparably damaged trans woman who has probably thought about, if not tried, to kill herself 

Yeah unfortunately I don’t doubt that for every instance of a woman who sets boundaries for herself there’s a tranny who’s tried to guilt her out of leaving by making suicidal gestures

because of the experience of feeling as if your entire body, your very existence is wrong, or that you were unwittingly used as a “learning experience” or “experiment” . 

Wow it’s like totally awful that someone learned something about themselves while they were in a relationship with you instead of just feeding you sympathy until they died of exhaustion

There’s a cis woman who couldn’t reconcile their transmisogyny to make a loving, communicative partnership work, 

Guilting someone into fucking you via a public essay 2 years after a 2 month relationship with them doesn’t sound like a “loving, communicative” partnership, it sounds like the setup for a bad Stephen King novel. 

and who instead took the path of least resistance, 

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 relationships aren’t supposed to involve resistance 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

which meant stepping all over an extremely vulnerable and multiply-traumatized person in the process.

“stepping all over an extremely vulnerable an multiply traumatized person” you mean like calling a rape victim an “oppressor” for not wanting to pursue a relationship with a manipulative man who’s trying to guilt her into doing something she’s expressed multiple times she feels unsafe doing?

[urlm-deactivated20171015]

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH TWO MONTHS? @fromonesurvivortoanother what’s it like being a fucking clown lol

[yourfavoriteterf]

More Male. Fucking. Behavior.

[am-i-a-womf]

Two months in his early 20s, folks!

[newlyy]

I’m realizing how much I don’t read what’s in front of me anymore, just skim, usually getting the main idea right, but sometimes not. And I know it’s down to social media use, both in how it shortens your attention span, but also in the repeated experience of seeing a post, reading a few words, realizing I’ve already read it, and moving on. That pattern of read, skim, move on quickly has made it hard to do anything else. I’m having to consciously slow myself down constantly.

[oakenroots]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you CAN and SHOULD terminate a doctor patient relationship at any time if you are dissatisfied with their service or uncomfortable in anyway.

I stopped seeing an allergist who said “Get rid of the cats and put that dog outside” as response to a description of my allergies, without ever giving me an allergy test.

(My next allergist actually did his due diligence and discovered that half the reason I couldn’t breathe was because I had allergic scar tissue in my sinuses).

I stopped seeing a gastroenterologist when he didn’t make an effort to learn my name, familiarize himself with the treatments I had tried that did not work, or read the list of known medicine allergies attached to my chart.

(He asked me when my last colonoscopy was LESS THAN 48HRS AFTER HE PERFORMED IT and re-prescribed me a medication that had hospitalized me)

I stopped seeing a certain psychologist because, despite my complaints about the damage that it was doing to my stomach lining, he wasn’t willing to switch my meds in favor of something less destructive.

(My next psychiatrist agreed to see me WEEKLY while she weaned me off the meds he had put me on, and spent months checking in with me and tweaking my medications until we found a medication that helped my depression sufficiently without killing my stomach.)

Don’t pay to see doctors who refuse to run tests!

Don’t pay to see doctors whose bedside manner makes you uncomfortable.

Don’t pay to see doctors who ignore your complaints about medications.

Don’t pay to see bad doctors!

[dr-whoopsie-daisy]

Doctor side of this. Once you leave the bad doctor, tell your next doctor why you left the 1st, 3rd, 27th doctor.

See how they react. Some will slot you as the “difficult, impossible to please” patient. Other’s will see a person who has been failed repeatedly and will do all they can do to help you now.

Tell them what happened. A lot of the forms you fill out when seeing a new doc go to the staff and are for filing, so the doc may not see it before the initial visit. Face-to-face, tell your doctor what has happened before, what worked, and what didn’t.

[Personal opinion: young doctors are less jaded and more willing to listen. And if they don’t know, are more willing to refer you to someone they think will know.]

[thorradical]

Can you please elaborate why you feel like pan isn't a real identity

yeah of course!

sexuality is based on sex characteristics. both secondary and primary, secondary ones being fat distribution/facial hair/etc and primary ones being genitialia.

pan is definied as “attraction to all genders”. but attraction isn’t based on gender, and even if there was there are only two genders. like i said before, attraction is based on sex characteristics, which is what bisexual covers : attraction to both sexes

pansexual as an identity/label doesn’t need to exist becuase bisexual already does. plus, the freudian origin of pansexuality was “has attraction to anything/anyone” including animals/children/etc. and idk abt you but that’s something i want to keep far away from being associated with lgbt people.

going off of the origin of it, the original tumblr origin - aka what most people know it as - is being attracted to “men, women and trans people” which is gross because trans people aren’t a third sex/gender. another conotation with it is being attracted to people’s personalities rather than their bodies, which is homophobic because it’s saying that gay people are sex-obsessed freaks who only care about their partner’s genitalia. which is age-old homophobia.

[fag-the-wholewideworld]

Well, yes but intersex is still a thing, and, as Thomas said in a group chat with me and some friends, only 0.7% of people in the world are intersex, but as I then replied with, 0.7% of the population is still roughly 52 million people.

[thorradical]

it is, but intersex people aren’t some third sex. most intersex conditions only affect males or females, like klienfelters. it’s pretty gross to suggest only pan people can date an intersex person. i’m a lesbian, but i’d be opening to dating an intersex woman. intersex people aren’t your pawns

[anerdyquestionmark-deactivated2]

^^^^^^^

-an intersex person sick of being someone’s bad argument

[tea-and-biscourse]

“IT’S PRETTY GROSS TO SUGGEST ONLY PAN PEOPLE CAN DATE AN INTERSEX PERSON”

Finally someone said it.

[anerdyquestionmark-deactivated2]

Because jfc, my girlfriend is hella straight. And not to mention how trans intersex people exist, and don’t like it when you call us the third gender. 

[tabbyfoolery]

Hey, what if we stopped calling intersexuality a birth defect??

Maybe, and I’m just guessing here, getting called defective feels bad??? Maybe that makes them hate themselves for not conforming to society’s expectations?? Maybe calling intersexuality a defect enforces the ideas of a gender binary???

Haha just spit-balling though

[silver-raiyne]

*sigh* So, while I completely agree that it hurts deeply to call people like me defective, deformed, abnormal, etc. At the same time, we cannot overlook the fact that intersex conditions are medical conditions, usually requiring medical treatments of some form -- though, i am FIRMLY against intersex genital mutilation or giving female assigned intersex individuals a "functional vagina" (don't even get me started on the disgusting heteronormativity of altering young girls so that they'll have a body that satisfies adult cis males 🤬) In trying to say "let's not call them defective" or saying that to call us deformed enforces the gender binary, you're simply invalidating the lived experiences of intersex individuals who have to fight for medical treatments due to being intersex.

[elita-ngel]

Little reminder to the idiots out there that it's LGBTQIA+. Not just LGBT.

Sure, our Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Trans people are more common, but don't exclude our lovely Intersex and Asexual peeps who need just as much support as we do.

And the plus! Don't forget the plus!

Sick of people saying “Oh you're straight you don't count just cuz you're Ace” or “Intersex people are a myth” when both of those statements are bullshit and false.

I could care less if a person is heterosexual, if that person identifies as Ace, they're Queer. If a person is Intersex, they're not a myth, they are quite literally everywhere in any social media platform.

Open your eyes and stop excluding people from our community just because you refuse to accept the fact that we can coexist with straight or cis people.

[not-your-intersex-pawn]

Friendly reminder support is possible without inclusion! Solidarity among marginalized communities is so important. We see this with BLM and feminists teaming up under Say Her Name. Intersex has a medical status same-sex attraction and gender identity do not share. We advocate for ourselves as part of chronic illness and disability activism. The more letters under the LGBT banner, the harder it is for any group to be heard, and we cannibalize each other instead of working together for our individual needs.

Intersex is not LGBT, although many of us are also gay or bisexual, and trans. Adding us to the acronym has often resulted in our medical needs being dismissed and even denied, our voices lost to those who want to be seen as allies but haven't first educated themselves about what intersex advocates want. We are reduced to props in validation of other people's identities, or worse, as a weapon to undermine other people's sexuality.

Intersex people fought hard against a culture of secrecy and silence to build our own community away from doctors and parents. We have our own community. Will you stand with us, or will you only support us if we keep quiet and let you tokenize our presence in your acronym?

[radfemreferences]

This really how it feels sometimes

[oblongsun]

I was assaulted and now I’m pregnant, please help me get an abortion

I was forcefully outed to my family about a year ago by a vindictive ex friend when he asked me tobe his gf and I trusted him enough to tell him no because I’m gay. my whole family was horrified and I just barely avoided being sent to conversion camp by swearing to my them that I wasn’t acting on it physically. two months later, they sent me to live with my father’s sister and her husband in another state for seven months and the last few weeks that I was there my uncle assaulted me several times, claiming that he was going to “teach me to enjoy what god wants me to love”. I was so traumatized by the assault and my state of mind only got worse when I went back home because my parents could tell something was different and they interpreted it as having been succesfully “converted” by my time with my aunt and uncle.

my absolute worst fear was realized when I saw my doctor two weeks ago and he told me I was pregnant. Im only 16 I know I cannot handle having a child especially as the product of my assault. in tenessee abortion laws are so rigid and restrictive and there aren’t even any clinics close to me that can help. I’m afraid any place in state will tell my parents what I’m trying to do because I’m so young. my only chance is to go out of state with my cousin for the abortion pill which will cost me at least $970 because I’m completely uninsured. I’m already about a month along so I have six weeks left to take the pill successfully. I beat myself up every day for not just denying the truth and telling them my friend was just angry at me and lying because he knew they’d be disgsted. my anxiety has never been thsi bad, I don’t know what I’ll do to myself if I can’t get this abortion. I haven’t even told me parents because I’m so terrified they won’t even just deny the truth and they’ll actually lock me away and force me to keep the baby. please I’m poor and so desperate and so fucking scared, please please please help me.

p*ypal.com/p*ypalme/oblongsun

c*sh.app/$oblongsun

[nerdy-shy-readytocry]

PLEASE HELP THEM

[the-black-cat-nero-deactivated2]

THIS IS IMPORTANT, DONT IGNORE AND PLEASE DO SOMETHING IF YOU CAN, EVEN 1$ HELPS