was he aware his eyes were lovelorn as they gazed over the phoenix ? or that, should anyone peer closely enough, such affections became as clear as day ? no, not really. they weren’t rubedo’s to have. he knew that the cultivation of diluc’s romantic intentions, what beautiful words he spun with cinder and ink, were not truly meant for him. but the homunculus is a selfish, dastardly little creature, and he couldn’t help but hoard the letters at night, reading over what had meant to be a deception for deception’s sake ( and what had accidentally blossomed into something more … but things did not blossom for the failed experiment. they festered. they rot. )
was it cruelty to keep up this façade, knowing that albedo’s interests lay with the cavalry captain ? that this was not possibly a lie he could sustain forever ? maybe. rubedo was still learning the consequences of his actions, and that the burning sensation in the back of his head when he watched diluc gaze at his brother was guilt. he felt it now, along with a cloying feeling like a pressing cloud on his mind he was coming to name ; envy. rubedo was allowed supervised visits, trailing behind albedo’s errands and remaining observant in order to safely observe humankind ( no avalanches or whopperflowers necessary. ) what he had not counted on was the ragnvindr brothers in the same vicinity, or the sudden influx of another new and unappreciated feeling. like fear, but smaller, something that came with the burning haze across pale cheeks … mmm what was this again ? oh ; shyness.
he could no longer remember why they were at the winery in the first place. only that this was one of the first times his instinct to flee did not resonate because of immediate danger, but this weighing blanket of shame upon his shoulders. he could hear albedo and the captain talking, could feel diluc’s stare, like the pressure of magma, but nothing was processing except the weight of diluc’s letters tucked into the pages of his own sketchbook, burning a hole in his messenger bag. rubedo was dragged out of his own head by a familiar presence, diluc’s eagle making herself a perch upon his shoulder and proceeding to tug at the homunculus’ ponytail. ah, what an exquisite creature, coaxing forth diamond laughter as he raised gloved finger to stroke the avian’s head with the back of it. a familiar and comforting gesture.
maybe a touch too familiar.
@dawnsdark.
