sweet and seventeen

"love you like a rare" -joji , Lov U

[iprefermyteagelatinous]

s k i n d e e p

this skin is not my friend

this skin reminds me of who i am -

and also who i am not

this skin has seen me through nineteen years

nineteen years of self doubt and self hatred

because i could not choose my own skin

this body is not my friend

this body is a constant reminder of the fears and the dysmorphia i have fought

because while some days, i feel ok

most days i do not

i look into a mirror and i don’t see me

i see a broken reflection that my mind will always make

“you’re gorgeous” “you’re attractive”

i’ve been told by many that i hold a beauty within me, but what they say always seems fake

but maybe one day i will realize that it is not my skin that is wrong

and it is neither my body

but my mind

my mind is like the ocean

not calm or serene, but with a storm at sea

the gigantic, terrifying waves tearing at me

i feel as though i’m slowly drowning

but no one can see

no one can see what i see

but what i and everyone else fail to recognize is that

my mind will be the death of me

-oel

[nevver]

Gradients, Andhika Ramadhian

[holdtheroflmao]

my heart speeds up. my face warms, i can feel the smile pulling at my lips. i desire your attention, your affection. just thinking about you sends my mind into a whirlwind of emotions

but you hurt me. you know this. you play your game so well. you give me attention, but only when it is convenient for you. you give me attention when you think you’re starting to lose your grip on me.

and i know i should just let go, but i can’t. because you give me feelings i haven’t felt in a long time. i talk to my bestfriend, and you are the first thing I want to talk about. your names rolls off my tongue so easily.

you leave a bittersweet taste in my mouth. sweet because your attention is sweeter than a honeysuckle, but bitter in the way that the sweetness of the honeysuckle only lasts for so long.

you are what i think about. you are the honeysuckle on a hot summer day. when i finally get to you, it is amazing, beautiful, magnificent in so many ways. i sip the nectar you supply to me, but it is never enough. but you know it is enough to make me stay, and search for more of you.

i know that the honeysuckle will not be enough to help me, regardless of how much i find, because the hot summer day’s heat is more intense than the honeysuckle can relieve. but yet, i search, and you knowingly lead me to you, because you’re afraid of losing me.

but you’re not afraid of losing me enough; not enough to nourish me. just enough to keep me searching for you.

and that is how you hurt me.

- “Honeysuckle” o.e.l

[indieteen]

[starwalkapp]

Largest ever galaxy portrait - stunning HD image of Pinwheel Galaxy http://bit.ly/2elAmWm

[indieteen]

[indieteen]

[indieteen]

[indieteen]

[nalgaemoji-deactivated20170326]

Time invested into yourself is never time wasted

[azuroworld]

[readingandfangirling]

[beneathsilverstars]

tag urself i’m “everyone except that guy who yelled at me in kmart”

[captainlordauditor]

after all the shitty critiques ive gotten….i am DEFINTIELY ‘this is not for you’

[wnq-writers]

Just because I don’t tell you my problems doesn’t mean I don’t have any.

Shi Collantes (via wnq-writers)

[iprefermyteagelatinous]

bucket list

• live life as it comes. whatever happens is meant to happen for some reason, whether good or bad. everything has a purpose, everything is meant to teach you something. you gotta acknowledge the lows so you can experience the highs.

[iprefermyteagelatinous]

to the dearest everyone ever

you dont know me. the real me. the me that had to start going to counseling in the fifth grade. the me that used to be afraid of closing her eyes because of what she saw. the me that was afraid of the quiet, because it was always quiet before the storm. you know the me that i let you know. the me that always cracks jokes, or smiles at everything you say, whether i find it funny or not. you know me as “the super nice girl” because i’ve decided to be that. you know me as the "dependable girl to talk to when your down" because i've decided that no one should have to carry their burden on their own. i've been there, i've done that. i know how it feels. i just ask that when i show you the real me, accept me.

[mayahan]

Clever Illustrations by Danish illustrator HuskMitNavn 

[iprefermyteagelatinous]

i care about you. when you're upset on snapchat in the early hours of the morning, i always tell you "I'm here. I will listen." because i am, i am here for you, im listening to you because i know you need someone to listen to you. hell, you could call me at 4am and i would answer, even if you only cried or sat silent on the other end. i could listen to your nothing for eternity, because it's your silence. it's you. i know youre going through a lot, and i want to be there for you. let me help you. i know about almost all the terrible things in your life. i know because of the few times you opened to me. i know you hate your family , and you hate that you had to sell drugs just to survive. i know you hate yourself because you feel you're a failure, and i just want to prove to you that you're not. you're not a failure. i have come to love every inch of you, even the flawed parts, because i know who you are underneath. i know the raw you. the you that's actually loving, the you that smiles. the you that loves being vulnerable. i want you to be able to be vulnerable. i want you to be happy with you. and im willing to give you my all to help you be happy again.