Frederikke Malika

[thursday]

[bamhbies]

things that need to be cheaper

tattoos

travelling 

lingerie

a hitman willing to take out trump

concert tickets

[ivare-enim-euge]

I remember when I was 9 years old neopets taught me what cum meant. Not what an orgasm is, but what the word cum meant. I was postin on the neoboards, doing my 9 year old thing, and all of a sudden I was kicked off the forum and blocked????? I was like what the fuck I’m 9 I just want to talk about my jubjub?? (his name was JubInATub how clever is that I know). So I investigated and it said I had been soft banned for using inappropriate language, and it had the word like censored and I had to click on it to see what it said, so I do and I see the word CUM written in bold red letters, plain as the morning sun, strung up and exposed to the brisk wind like freshly laundered linens, and was understandably offended like??? Cum on guys this has to be a mistake I was just asking what was the best time to cum to the ice caves and try to sneak some free shit from that ice snake bitch, that thing was ALWAYS awake. So my bitty 9 y/o brain was like what the hell neopets, maybe they just don’t understand Internet Lingo like obviously I was using a Hip and Cool instant message shorthand to save my precious 9 y/o time (a girls got shit to do like damn). So I was like let’s lay this to rest, I’m gonna google search this shit, screen shot the definition and send it in an email to the CEO Mr. Neopet himself, lay down some knowledge on these fogies. So my sweet little innocent fingers pull up Google dot com and type in the letters C-U-M expecting validation and let me tell you friends, what I found shocked my innocent child psyche to the core. The root of who I was got ripped to shreds, obliterated by the wood chipper that is this cruel and disgusting world we live in. That day changed me, it was a crossroads of my life and I was thrust down a path that I have yet to return from.

[kevinokevinokevino-deactivated2]

Preserve this in a museum

[skipaholic]

(plays the guitar)

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad

(aggressively headbangs)

I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEAAAART

[tifamex]

a flourishing anus and happiness for you too

[skipaholic]

OH.

[uldren-sov]

Why Accent Marks Are Important In Spanish Lesson 1

[iprefertheschreaves]

interviewer: would you say you're independent?

maxon: *looks at america*

america: *nods*

maxon: I'd say so yes

[leofitzo]

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

he’s trying to use a fucking Tide pen

[oddhearted-deactivated20221218]

listen i know that presidents can’t do a third term but maybe if we ask nicely

[oddhearted-deactivated20221218]

listen i know that presidents can’t fucking do a third term but maybe if we forcibly glue obama to the white house

[biggbbrother21]

reblog while you still can

[breakfastburritosattiffanys]

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[phils-mum-and-llama-placentas]

IT’S STARTED

[itsfantasticallyhomoerotic]

IT’S BEEN NOVEMBER JUST FOR FEW HOURS YOU ANIMALS

[iprefertheschreaves]

I GOT A BOY GOT A BOY GOT A BOYFRIEND

OH UWOOUH

[iprefertheschreaves]

It's been over a month and I've still got a boyfriend ;)))

[papertownsy]

[iprefertheschreaves]

I GOT A BOY GOT A BOY GOT A BOYFRIEND

OH UWOOUH

[poky]

i envy people who can go to sleep seconds after closing their eyes

[iprefertheschreaves]

Law enforcement should use 4-year-olds to do interrogations.

Kid: who are you?

Suspect: I'm Bob.

Kid: why are you here?

Suspect: the cops think I killed my brother

Kid: why?

Suspect: I didn't kill him, he was my brother

Kid: why?

Suspect: because...he just was. We were both born from the same parents.

Kid: why?

Suspect: because we just were. Our parents had 3 kids.

Kid: why?

Suspect: they just did, okay? My brother and I were twins and then a few years later my little sister came along.

Kid: why?

Suspect: she just - look, never mind. I didn't kill my brother. I loved him.

Kid: why?

Suspect: why what - Why didn't I kill my brother or why did I love him?

Kid: why?

Suspect: I had no reason to kill my brother! Why would I want to kill my family?

Kid: Why?

Suspect: I wouldn't! I mean, we're not exactly the closest family but still...

Kid: why?

Suspect: just because.

Kid: because why?

Suspect: because I said so!

Kid: why?

Kid: whyyyy?

Kid: why why why why why why why why

Kid: whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywh-

Suspect: BECAUSE MOMMY AND DADDY LOVED MY BROTHER THE MOST

Kid: why

Suspect: he was born first! He was seven minutes older! I was always living in his shadow!

Kid: why

Kid: WWWWHHHHHHYYYYY

Kid: WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWH-

Kid: WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!

Suspect: BECAUSE HE KNEW I WAS A KILLER! I killed my family! I killed my brother!

I KILED THEM ALL!!!

Kid: why

Suspect: I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED

Kid: why

Suspect: I...I don't know.

Kid: ok. I'm gonna go play with my Legos

Head Detective: kid, we've been trying to crack this case for a year and you did it in 4 minutes.

Kid: can I have a lollipop now?

Head Detective: just one. Your mom doesn't want to ruin your dinner.

Kid: why

Head Detective: oh dear god

[officialmaxonschreave]

remember the post that made me a known selection blog?? bc i sure do. its the one in barnes&noble and i PUT THE SELECTION BOOKS IN THE BIBLE SECTION AS A JOKE THEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITHYOU and kiera was like yeah dont do that AND I FELT HORRIBLE LIKE IM JEWIsH I HATE gETTING IN TROUBLe

[blacknovember-deactivated201511]

Reblog if you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend.

[freekahzoid]

1.7 million ppl are single

[jebsrifle]

1.8 million

1.9

[iwasthinkingofanimeagain-deacti]

2.1

[justtouchedawkwardly-deactivate]

[chris-lives-here-deactivated201]

Tumblr law: Always reblog the queen.

[bohemian-fairies-blog]

If you don’t have this on your blog at least once, get out.