lorem ipsum

i romanticize everything and now we’re here

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

you don’t know all my stories anymore, and i

don’t know yours,

but i still know the password to your phone, and

you still know mine.

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

“this girl is like fuckin’ perfect right now, i don’t wanna ruin that”

“maybe you’re perfect right now, maybe you don’t wanna ruin that”

- good will hunting

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

if i was an artist,

then maybe i would be able to figure out a way to draw the sheer depth of the gaping hole in my chest,

the one i keep trying to fill

if i was a poet

maybe i’d be able to figure out a way to describe the feeling i get each night right before i go to sleep,

when ive taken off my makeup, and stripped myself down the bare minimum of who i am,

but im not an artist

and im not a poet,

im just a girl

attempting to convince herself that one day it’ll all matter

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

i love you, but i love myself more, and that’s okay.

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

i don’t wanna be your second best, i wanna be your only one.

- younger hunger

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

i am the moon,

and you are my sun,

i shine with your light,

i am seen because of your radiance

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

i wouldn’t kill for you, im not gonna die for you, but i will live for you, and i hope you know that a part of every breath i take belongs to you, that’s how i love you

[soracities]

Euripides, from “Orestes”, An Oresteia (trans. Anne Carson)

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

you say I wear my heart on my sleeve,

my sleeves are too long so my hearts in my palm of my hand,

you take my hand and fold it within yours,

not knowing (maybe knowing)

that you now hold my heart too,

please don’t drop it

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

there’s such a strange sense of intimacy and trust to falling asleep on a strangers shoulder on the bus, like the third time I went to india, we were going to a dam and I was maybe 12 or 13 and I was sitting alone, and I was in the window seat and ig I fell asleep because I woke up and my head was on the shoulder of this random old man, and yes this normally would be creepy, but he was my grandfathers age, and i was half asleep and it didn’t seem so weird, and maybe it was just the fact that we are most vulnerable in our sleep and he was kinda like my protector for the 2 hours I was asleep, and he didn’t know me and he just let me lean on him, and yeah I never spoke to him and have never seen him again, in fact I don’t even remember his face that well, but I will never forget him all the same

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

she says she’s fine

they know she’s lying

she goes to sleep at night

and wakes up with tears in her eyes

she greets them with a smile,

every breath is suffocating,

and if you look closely you can see her hands are shaking,

oh she’s so close to breaking,

but she can’t, not now,

when she’s so close to getting out,

not this close to being free,

to finally being able to leave,

so i say im fine,

they know im lying

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

baby forget about chemistry,

i wanna make some history

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

in kindergarten,

we read about the little train that could,

now,

i have become the little girl who couldn’t

[newvision]

— Richard Siken, I had a dream about you

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

when i die,

burn me up,

and scatter my ashes on a windy day,

so that i may join the atmosphere,

and slowly,

one by one,

each piece of myself will fall back onto every person who ever touched my soul,

i will become a part of every one who ever brought me to life,

every waking moment of every waking day,

and in going back to the people that gave me air,

the people that were my air,

i will be truly going home.

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

just hold me tightly,

so I don’t fall apart,

and when I shatter all over the floor,

put me back together

like your moms favorite vase

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

“Hey, it’s me, but I guess you knew that already didn’t you, at this moment in time you’re probably wondering where I am, why I’m late, I could tell you what I’m doing, but in the end it’s not gonna matter, but here are all the small moments and big instances that led me to you, and the moments in between that trapped me there”

[ipsum-lorem-dolor]

The first time I saw you I was late to my morning lecture and cut across the courtyard instead of my usual route to class. You were sitting underneath the big tree next to all the tables. You were surrounded by your friends laughing about some random thing. I paused for a second to just look at you. My phone started beeping to tell me I was late though, so I started running. I started to cut across the courtyard more often, I told myself it was because it was quicker.