Welcome to ipurpleunet - a network dedicated to BTS member Kim Taehyung. In this network, we love, we give and we care. The color purple has different shades, which shade of purple are you? (Applications are closed)
After much discussion we have decided that ipurpleunet will now reblog all bts related content, no longer restricting to only Taehyung specific posts as per how we have established thus far. With that being said, all members of the net may use the #ipurpleunet tag on all their original bts content and we will queue them so long as they abide to network rules. We also like to take this opportunity to stress that only network members are allowed to use the tag. This makes it easier for us to see the content of our accepted members when we set up our queue. We’ve noticed that a handful of non-members have been using the tag recently and we hereby ask for you to refrain from doing so as this will not be fair for our members who have gone through the application process. But there is good news! Our applications are opened for the month of May so do consider joining us! You may check out our application post here for more details.
We will still remain as a Taehyung-centric network; our main motivation behind this change boils down to the reconsideration of the fact that “I Purple You” was made by Taehyung for and to include all of BTS and ARMYs. Thank you for your time and we hope that everyone stays safe and healthy through these difficult times. We purple you! 💜
Taehyung runs into Hoseok and decides to have a word with him, which leaves him even more confused.
⤑ word count: 10.3k
⤑ genre: non-idol!au, fuckboy!tae, fuckboy!hoseok, smut, angst
⤑ pairing: taehyung x reader
⤑ warnings: smut [oral (f. and m. receiving), dirty talk, unprotected intercourse, golden shower (!!!)]; taehyung's at his peak fuckboy behavior and he will annoy you
⤑ rating: 18+
⤑ read on AO3
» Enemy—one | two | three | four | five | six | seven
Once again, after the smut scene, there's a golden shower scene, so skip if you don't want to read that!
Hoseok wasn’t sure what drink he was on. It might have been his seventh, it might have been his tenth, who was counting? He sure as hell wasn’t—it was that kind of day.
His girlfriend was on his case for not being able to make time for her, but he just couldn’t due to school and practice. Was that so hard to accept? Still, she felt like these were just excuses, especially after Hoseok informed her that he’d be going to a party with his friends tonight.
Hoseok didn’t understand her anger. After all, he offered to meet up with her after, but she said it sounded like all he wanted from her was sex. Wasn’t that the point of relationships, though, to get to have sex with someone you like without having to work hard for it? And this wasn’t him choosing his friends over her—he promised his friends he’d go out with them for the first time in a long time, and he didn’t want to cancel their plans to see his girlfriend. It didn’t feel right.
Anyway, that’s how Hoseok found himself by the bar, drinking and trying to decide on the right thing to do. Should he just leave and go beg his girlfriend to come outside and hang out with him? He didn’t see that working out well. The night would be spent arguing, he could already sense the screaming and insults and guilt, and that wasn’t something he was mentally ready for.
Hoseok’s plans didn’t include hanging out with Taehyung, but when his acquaintance appeared out of nowhere, it looked like Hoseok had no other choice. They hadn’t seen each other since your little threesome situation. What was there to be awkward about? They’ve shared girls before. The only difference was the girls weren’t you.
“Hey, Taehyung,” Hoseok greeted him, lifting his drink and nodding at Taehyung before taking a big sip. “What’s up?”
“Let’s skip this shit, huh?” Taehyung said in a low tone, which made Hoseok’s head immediately snap in his direction. Apparently, he was angry and drunk, a killer combination when it came to Taehyung. Hoseok wasn’t sure what he did to deserve it, but he knew Taehyung would explain soon. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”
“Yes,” Hoseok nodded, wondering if he should get up so that Taehyung wasn’t towering over him. He wasn’t exactly scared of Tae, but he didn’t want to seem weak. “Granted, maybe not for long, but I do. Why?”
“Then what exactly gives you the right to call our friend a slut?” Taehyung grinned, but Hoseok could tell he was the furthest thing from happy at that moment. He was fuming, that much was clear, and he didn’t like Hoseok insulting you. The smile was an angry one, one that gave off just how upset Tae was.
“Oh, she told on me!” Hoseok chuckled at the thought of you running to Taehyung of all people to rat out on him saying something he didn’t really mean. Besides, you’ve said worse things to each other, never meaning any of it. So, why run to Tae this time? The fact that you thought Taehyung would protect you in some way was just… funny. “How cute, you two are actually talking to each other and not just fucking.”
Taehyung grabbed Hoseok’s shoulder, which made both of them stop smiling instantly. Hoseok could tolerate Taehyung being drunk and angry, but he wouldn’t tolerate the guy trying to put his hands on him. Still, he let Taehyung say what he came there to say, for their mutual friends’ sake. “Dude, I’m not here to joke around with you. I’m here to tell you that you should do the right thing and apologize.”
“For what?” Hoseok couldn’t help but scoff at the idea—why would he apologize to you? He said what he said. “Am I not allowed to have an opinion?”
“You can have as many deluded opinions as you want, but nobody said you can share them with people just to make them feel bad,” Taehyung spat the words out, feeling anger take over him. Where did this guy get off thinking he had any right to talk to you that way? “We both know you don’t really think she’s a slut. You can quit acting. Nobody here thinks that of her.”
“She’s fucking you, that’s enough,” Hoseok shrugged, letting Taehyung know exactly how he felt about him. The dude would fuck anyone who offered and that disgusted Hoseok. What you were doing with him was a mystery, even more so because it seemed like you two actually had some sort of conversation going, one that included him. If this was your way of getting back at Hoseok, it was only going to hurt you in the end. “Now, move your hand away from me or I’ll break it.”
“Oh, sweet,” Taehyung grinned but moved his hand anyway. He wasn’t afraid of Hoseok, but at the same time, Taehyung wasn’t there to beat him up or cause a scene—even though he wanted to, badly. “Looks like I’ve hit a nerve. You had your chance and you totally blew it. Treating women like property doesn’t work that well nowadays like I’ve been saying for years. So, when she decided she’s had enough and started fucking me, you suddenly have a problem with her? It’s not her fault that you didn’t live up to your part of the deal.”
“Fair enough,” Hoseok glared at Taehyung, hoping the other would remember this conversation the next day. “That doesn’t change the fact that she chose to fuck the slimiest person around. Yoongi there, that’s a good choice for a nice girl. You? I wouldn’t recommend you to the filthiest person I know, and there she is, screwing you, letting you fuck her raw in someone else’s bed like she’s a piece of meat. That’s what I have a problem with.”
Oh, so it was personal, Taehyung finally realized. This was all about Taehyung and not about you at all. And Hoseok, being the hotshot he was, decided to take his anger out on you and tell you all these things instead of just telling Taehyung how he felt about him.
Taehyung knew Hoseok didn’t like him. Yes, they could go out together, have a drink or two, have fun, but Hosoek resented men like Taehyung, men who could get whatever they wanted by just being honest about their intentions, by accepting that women were in it for pleasure too, and not just pawns in this game of getting laid, like Hoseok clearly thought. That’s what irked the man, clearly. Since you were the weaker target, one that wouldn’t spit the words back at Hoseok and make him regret ever saying a thing, he chose you instead of Tae. Classy.
“No, you have a problem with someone you used to fuck now fucking me. In this situation, you’re the worse person, and that’s what’s bothering you,” Taehyung shook his head, realizing he hit the nail on the head when Hoseok gave him a glare. “It’s not the two of us fucking, it’s the fact that she chose me.”
Hoseok sighed before downing the rest of his drink. “You’re delusional. I’m not jealous of you and you’re in no way better than me.”
“You tell yourself that,” Taehyung smirked, knowing he was right. “When we had the threesome, only one of the three people there was in a relationship and, therefore, lying to their partner. It’s not me nor her. It was you. The two of us? We just like fucking each other without any drama, without one of us being too busy for the other. We like the dynamic and the things we do are none of anyone’s business. But you!” Taehyung paused for a second, trying to calm himself down. “You walked in on us fucking and joined even though you have a girlfriend, according to you. Who’s the slut there? A person who cheats or the people who are having fun without hurting others?”
Hoseok took a deep breath and got up, thinking he should leave before things get ugly. Maybe Taehyung was right—he clearly wasn’t doing something he was proud of, but he didn’t need this asshole to teach him a lesson. “I won’t sit here and be lectured by a guy who thinks of women as pussies and doesn’t even remember how many people he’s slept with. You’re gross, dude. You’re just a dick on legs and sooner or later, women get tired of it. You’re fun for a month or two until they get it out of their system, and then what? You have nothing else to offer, face it.”
“I think women will get tired of being lied to quicker than that,” Taehyung spat the words back, unsure of why Hoseok’s words were annoying him that much.
Was the really that bad? Well, he never spent a lot of time with the same woman, so Taehyung could confidently say nobody got tired of him. But would you? You have been spending time together, more than he’s ever spent with someone else before, and that alone was cause for concern in Taehyung’s world.
“Whatever, man,” Hoseok shook his head in disgust, unable to hide just how repulsed he was by the idea of you, his former fuck-buddy, the person he’s shared so many amazing moments with, fucking this sad excuse of a man. “I have a problem with her being with you not because I’m jealous of you or anything as crazy as that. It’s because she’s a nice girl who could have someone who cares about her. Yet, she chose to fuck around with you and she’s not even trying to hide it like the rest of your girls do. Her reputation went down the drain the second she chose to fuck someone who doesn’t give a fuck about her.”
“And what, I can’t care about her?” Taehyung felt personally offended by Hoseok’s remarks because he was never aware of how terrible of an opinion Hoseok had about him. Did he really think he was that bad of a guy that girls’ reputations were ruined after fucking Taehyung? Besides, who even said things like these?
“If you’re willing to share her with everyone else, you don’t really care, do you?” Hoseok walked up to Taehyung and for a second, Taehyung felt like Hoseok would headbutt him, but he didn’t. “And no, I don’t think you’re capable of having a single feeling that’s unrelated to sex, if I’m being honest. You don’t care who she fucks if she keeps fucking you too. That’s who you are. What person that cares about themselves would agree to that?”
“Someone who’s looking to have fun with a guy who doesn’t lie to her face about being too busy to see her while he’s taking other women on dates,” Taehyung came up with the perfect comeback that wiped the cocky grin off Hoseok’s smug face. “Or someone who won’t cheat on their girlfriend to join a threesome he barged in on. Or, oh wait, someone who won’t call her a slut for sleeping with someone new. You know what, screw you! You don’t have to apologize, it would be better if you deleted her number and left her the fuck alone.”
“Or what?” Hoseok grinned again, knowing he’d never delete your number. Taehyung was just a stupid phase you’d grow out of once you realize that being rebellious in this way won’t really get you anything. “You’re gonna do something to me?”
“I’m not,” Taehyung shrugged. He knew Hoseok wasn’t backing down and that there was just no point in arguing with him over it. “It’s not worth it. If you’re such a nice guy and so much better than a whore like me, why don’t you back off and let her live?”
“Oh, you’re scared I’ll talk her into getting back with me,” Hoseok cocked an eyebrow up and grinned, happy to find Tae’s weak spot. “I might do that just because you’re so fucking full of yourself.”
With that, Hoseok turned around and left. Taehyung took a deep breath to stop himself from lunging forward and knocking his acquaintance to the ground. Yoongi would get upset, you’d get upset, and it would be a mess—it wasn’t a smart thing to do. Where did this idiot get the idea that he could talk that way about you and your thing with Taehyung?
Not even half an hour after the incident with Hoseok, Taehyung received a text from you.
You: are you at the party? what happened with hoseok?
Did Hoseok really rat him out to you? So soon? That was what ran through his mind the second he saw your text, your question completely ignored. Taehyung must have really hurt Hoseok’s feelings if that was the case.
Unbelievable! The guy had no problem talking so much shit and getting all tough with Tae, but then he called you the second he left so he could bitch about it immediately.
Taehyung took a sip of his drink and called you instead of texting. Why waste time and beat around the bush at this point?
“Hey, you,” he said as soon as you picked up, relieved that you weren’t upset with him as the tone of your voice seemed very friendly. Why did Taehyung even think you’d be mad at him? “Coming to the party?”
“Thinking about it,” you sighed, and he could tell that was not what you actually wanted to talk about. “What did you say to Hobi?”
“Hobi? How cute,” Taehyung couldn’t help but remark, especially after the argument the two of them had. He sounded bitter, he could hear it in his own voice, but it was hard not to when he knew what the prick thought about you. “I just told him to back off.”
You hesitated before finally continuing. “Are you sure? It didn’t sound like it.”
“Did he call you to tell you I was too mean? Boo fucking hoo,” Taehyung laughed at the idea of Hoseok acting so tough and then going and doing just that—telling on Taehyung to you, like that would do anything other than make him seem like a total pussy. “I just told him to back off. He needs to think before he speaks, especially to you. That’s it.”
“Okay, whatever you say,” you sighed loudly, giving off the impression that you weren’t exactly convinced. “I’ll see you there, okay?”
With that, you hung up, leaving Taehyung to wonder what Hoseok told you and whether you were upset over it. Hoseok seemed to be under the impression that Taehyung was afraid of him stealing you like that was possible.
Firstly, you had a mind of your own and you could choose who to be with. You clearly chose to spend your time with Taehyung, and he was ecstatic about that. So, what was there to even argue about? You’ve made your choice.
Secondly, Hoseok was a lying asshole, so Taehyung didn’t think you’d opt for him, but still… There was always a chance you had feelings for Hoseok, despite everything. You two had a history, you cared for each other in some way.
After all, Hoseok did immediately call you after the altercation. Why didn’t Hoseok call his girlfriend? Taehyung knew the answer—the girlfriend was there because Hoseok was trying to convince himself he could have a relationship with someone and forget about you.
Did Taehyung care about any of this? He did if it messed with his chance of getting to fuck you whenever he wanted.
“Who were you talking to?” Yoongi appeared out of nowhere with a strange look on his face, and Taehyung just knew Hoseok probably ran and cried about their encounter to Yoongi too.
“Who do you think?” Taehyung hissed the words at his friend, instantly regretting it. It wasn’t Yoongi’s fault he was friends with that jerk Hoseok. “You know who.”
“What the fuck happened with you and Hoseok?” Yoongi walked up closer to Taehyung and lowered his voice, which told him Hoseok went around ranting about him to everyone. “I just ran into him and he was fuming. What the hell?”
“He… He’s saying things he should keep to himself,” Taehyung decided to be honest and curt. Yoongi didn’t have to get dragged into the mess or know anything about it. “I just told him to shut up.”
“Oh, so it’s about her,” Yoongi nodded, taking a sip of his beer, and sighing deeply. “I really didn’t know she was fucking Hobi when I told you to try it with her, I swear to God. If I had known, I never would have told you to go talk to her. That’s what started this whole mess, and now I feel kind of bad about it.”
“What do you mean, bad?” Taehyung frowned at his friend before laughing. “She’s great.”
“A hero I didn’t know I needed,” Yoongi looked into the distance and pretended to be moved.
“Shut the hell up with the hero thing, we’ve been over this already,” Taehyung pointed his finger at Yoongi. “I’m not going into any details because I respect her privacy and all, but she did fuck me, so you know… You lost.”
“Did I?” Yoongi licked his lips and chuckled. “I have to go there again, but the way I see it, she did have sex with you, but she also got you to stop fucking around and respect your partner’s privacy. On top of that, you’re bickering with Hoseok about her, which is something the great playboy Kim Taehyung would never do,” Yoongi sighed dramatically. “If I told you I was into a girl you fucked, you’d never talk to her again. That’s your bro code, right? But not this time. Who won?”
Taehyung felt a lump form in his throat, mostly because Yoongi was right.
It wasn’t like him to do any of these things. He stood up to Hoseok instead of just letting things go like he usually would. Why did he care if you and Hoseok had a history? If Hobi had a problem with you, it was between the two of you and not Taehyung and him. Why did he feel the need to defend your honor and tell Hoseok to back off? Taehyung never did these things, he was all for sharing. People were free to choose, have fun, and do whatever unless it hurt others.
And Yoongi was right—if any of his friends told him not to sleep with a girl because they wanted her, Taehyung would back off. Why go after the one someone else already wants when there’s so much choice? But not this time.
“Me because I get to sleep with her whenever I want,” he said, smirking at Yoongi. “Not Hoseok, not you, not anyone else. So, she didn’t win.”
“Can I tell you something?” Yoongi leaned in, practically whispering to his friend. “But brace yourself.”
Taehyung scoffed, shaking his head since he sensed it was going to be some bullshit. “What?”
“You’re falling for her,” Yoongi grinned, cocking his head to the side with a grin before patting Taehyung’s shoulder. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t care what Hoseok of all people told her. And it’s not really about what he told her either, is it?”
“You’re wrong,” Taehyung sounded adamant about it. He didn’t care about people. Why would he? You were just a girl he liked sleeping with, a lot more times than once, but that wasn’t a problem. He could just fuck you, he could do it.
“Am I?” Yoongi pulled away, and Taehyung wanted to wipe that shit-eating grin off his face. The audacity! “I think you’re more worried about the fact that Hoseok is clearly still interested. I’d even say you’re afraid she’ll choose him over you because, after all, they have history.”
“Why would she choose him?” Taehyung didn’t get his friend’s logic.
There was no way in hell you’d fuck Hoseok again after he lied to you, no way. He had a girlfriend who he was seeing behind your back, while you thought you were the only one he slept with. You wouldn’t forgive something like that so easily.
“Because he’s a relationship kind of guy, whether he wants to admit it or not,” Yoongi shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. Yoongi did have a point there. “You, my friend, are not. She is. If she wants peace and stability and good sex, she’ll choose Hoseok. If she wants good sex, she’ll choose you.”
That didn’t sound fair—Taehyung had a bit more to offer than just amazing sex, he was sure. However, when Yoongi put it like that, it sounded like Hoseok was a better option by a mile and that anyone in their right mind would opt for him.
Was Hoseok that great? Did you feel that way? No, you didn’t. If you did, you’d be fucking Hoseok and not Taehyung.
Besides, it didn’t even matter. So what if you decided to fuck Hoseok again? It’s not like Taehyung didn’t have other options. Fuck, he could go talk to someone right now and fuck her. He wondered what happened with the helicopter girl and if she’d still be interested. Then, Taehyung realized he didn’t even remember what she looked like, let alone her name.
“The thing is, I don’t really care about it as much as you think I do,” Taehyung responded, unsure of what else he should say.
He loved fucking you and thought you were really sweet and nice and that you always smelled great and had the softest hair and prettiest eyes. But those were just things guys felt for any girl they fucked for a longer time. This was technically Taehyung’s first time doing that, so he was new to it, but he knew that much, at least.
“You don’t care about her?” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he didn’t buy a word of what Taehyung was saying. “That’s not the impression I got.”
“Why?” Taehyung was now starting to get interested.
Did he really give off that impression? It’s not that he had anything against you or that he didn’t think you were a great girl. It was exactly the opposite, he thought you were fucking amazing, and fucking you was out of this world, but that was about it. So, if he was doing something that made others think he was falling for you, Taehyung wanted to know.
“You don’t talk about her… Well, almost at all. And when you do, you don’t tell us all the nasty details we’re so used to hearing from you,” Yoongi paused to give Taehyung a sly grin. “I mean, this is not me complaining about it because I’m really thankful I don’t have to hear about whose ass you fucked, but you get the gist.”
Was that true? Well, yes. He didn’t even tell Yoongi about the threesome, and that was something he would have shared right away if it were someone else.
Taehyung also didn’t tell Yoongi about how he fucked your ass, or how he fucked you in the back of the car and got to come inside of you. It was true, Taehyung just didn’t share details about your sex life because, in some weird, unexplainable way, he wanted to protect you. What was that all about? Sex was a good thing, maybe the best one at the moment, so there was no need for him to pretend you don’t have sex with him, especially not in front of Yoongi. Taehyung’s actions were starting to confuse him.
“I figure if I share this stuff with you, she’ll stop fucking me,” Taehyung suggested, which made Yoongi laugh.
“And since when do you care about that?” Yoongi nodded knowingly. “See, that’s what I mean. You don’t treat her like you treat other girls.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Taehyung felt offended at the insinuation. He was sick of guys like Hoseok constantly implying he treated people like dirt—he didn’t. “I don’t treat women badly. Quite the opposite, I give them a great time.”
“Yeah, that’s true, but you do kind of treat them like sluts in the best possible way,” Yoongi shrugged. “You want to try absolutely everything, you’re down for whatever. You don’t judge them or anything like that, but your sex ideas are way out there. Not with this girl… Let’s just say, you don’t treat her like a slut. In the good sense of the word. At least from what I know.”
Now that was true. Okay, you two did have anal and a threesome, but he suggested these things, so it’s not like he solely wanted to have vanilla sex. Have you ever had vanilla sex? Absolutely not. Yoongi was out of his mind for thinking either one of you wanted that. The reason you got along so well was that you were more similar than apparently everyone thought.
“Well, that’s the problem. You just don’t know what we do,” Taehyung explained with a nod, not feeling the need to talk about this situation any longer—it was already really confusing since he wasn’t acting like himself that night. “Let’s drop this, you’re ruining my mood even more than your friend already has.”
Thankfully, Yoongi decided to listen and keep his mouth shut for once, which Taehyung appreciated immensely.
However, his friend’s words kept bothering him for what seemed like hours, even when he was talking to other people to pass the time. And that was also a problem—Taehyung wasn’t there to enjoy himself. It seemed like he was just passing time until you showed up, which was so unlike him it hurt.
So, when Taehyung saw you make your way through the crowd, he was on his feet faster than you could even notice him, and his hands found their way around your waist, enjoying the way you leaned into them and gave him a smile that told Taehyung you weren’t mad at him at all.
Oh, it was on! He’d prove to himself, you, Yoongi, and Hoseok that he was just here to have fun and give you the best sex of your life. Surprisingly, you didn’t flinch or move away from him, despite the place being packed with people you both knew, despite Hoseok being around there somewhere—and Taehyung loved it. You should show everyone who gets to fuck you.
“Hey,” you said with a grin. Suddenly, Taehyung felt dumb for even worrying about Hoseok driving a wedge between the two of you—there was no way you wanted to stop this thing with Taehyung, not when you so obviously wanted him. “You seem happy to see me.”
“I want you so bad, you have no idea,” Taehyung said while shamelessly staring into your eyes and then moving down to your cleavage and staring at it too. “Please, let’s go upstairs.”
“Oh, really?” You chuckled, placing your hands on your chest. “What have you been up to if you’re already horny?”
“What do you mean, already horny?” Taehyung jokingly asked, hands rubbing your sides. “I’ve been horny ever since I woke up.”
“Silly me, here I was thinking I was the reason you felt that way,” you grinned at him and Taehyung felt like shit. You were the reason why his dick was now hard, but he felt stupid for even thinking that, so he didn’t say it. He didn’t want to be too nice—it could go to your head.
“You help, for sure,” he grunted at you before tugging at the hem of your shirt, wanting to see it on the floor. “Let’s go upstairs so you can help me out.”
“I can help you out?” You leaned in and smirked at him, clearly in the mood to play. Oh, the things he would do to you if you kept this going. Tonight was not the night to mess with Taehyung.
“Mhmm,” he hummed in agreement, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear gently, which got you to shiver, he noticed. “You know what’s in it for you.”
“What is that?” you asked, acting all stupid like you didn’t know how Taehyung could make you feel. It was okay, though, he enjoyed all the teasing—it reminded him of how he usually acted around women.
Taehyung grabbed the back of your neck gently and pulled you in closer, so close that your lips were almost touching. “You get to come around my fingers and around my cock… You know you want to. Nobody can fuck you like that.”
“Not even Hoseok?”
Now, when Taehyung heard you say Hoseok’s name, everything went blank for a second. Did you really just say that to him when he was trying to fuck you? You were clearly down to play games tonight, but you didn’t know what you were in for, not tonight. The smirk on your face told Taehyung you were trying to get him all riled up.
“Oh, say that one more time,” he challenged you. What was your goal—for him to fuck your brains out? You’d get that, for sure.
“What if I do?” you teased, enjoying this as much as Taehyung thought a good little slut like you would.
Taehyung moved in until his mouth was right next to your ear. Even though he didn’t give you special treatment, he still didn’t want anyone to hear what he wanted to say. “I’ll piss all over that little cunt of yours.”
You grunted as the words left his mouth, which made him chuckle heartily. Fuck, you were just as bad as he was. The idea turned him on for real—Taehyung wanted nothing more than to see you with your legs spread, fuck you, pull his cock out and piss on you before continuing to fuck you, but he never thought you’d be into it. He was wrong about you, again. “Fuck.”
Right then, you both turned to your side to look at each other, and Taehyung could swear he saw a spark in your eyes when you smirked at him, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Feeling slutty today, mhm?” Taehyung cocked his eyebrow up and grabbed your hand. “Let’s do it.”
It didn’t take you long to agree to it and it took you both even less to find yourself a room upstairs. Taehyung wanted one with a bathroom in the crazy case that you actually wanted to try out his insane fantasy. If it happened, it happened, he wasn’t going to push it.
Taehyung wrapped his arms around you as soon as you two walked into the room, pressing you hard against his chest, wanting you to stay there. He wanted to make sure you were really there and that you’d stay, so he kissed you, shoving his tongue down your throat eagerly.
Fuck Hoseok. Fuck Yoongi, too, for implying you had Taehyung wrapped around your fingers. If that was the case, he had you wrapped around his dick, too. But mainly, fuck Hoseok.
“Why him?” you mumbled into the kiss and that’s when Taehyung realized he’d said it out loud. How embarrassing. He had no business even thinking about Hoseok yet here he was, talking about him while making out with you.
“I can’t stand the fucking guy anymore,” Taehyung admitted, going back to kissing you as his hands found your ass and grabbed it hard. God, he didn’t want to talk about Hoseok’s smug face anymore. All he wanted to do was dive in between your legs and hear you moan for him, hear you cry out his name, and nobody else’s.
“What happened between you two?” you placed both hands on Taehyung’s chest and gently pushed him away, which he took as a sign to stop kissing you. “You… You don’t seem like yourself. It’s like you’re upset. So is he.”
“We’ve… Exchanged some words,” Taehyung licked his lips, unsure of what exactly he wanted to tell you. He really didn’t want to hurt you by telling you the things Hoseok said about you. Besides, Hoseok didn’t even mean them—he was just jealous and pathetic. “But that’s it.”
“What did you two argue about?” You were clearly intent on finding out the details, but Taehyung didn’t want to hurt you. It would ruin the mood for sure, and he didn’t want to risk it. Is that why he was acting so protective?
“We… Hoseok’s bullshit, I guess,” Taehyung shrugged after looking right into your eyes. There was no way he could tell you what Hoseok said about you, mostly because it wasn’t true and because it would get to you, Taehyung knew. He couldn’t let that happen. “Same old.”
“He called me a slut, right?” You said the word so lightly that Taehyung was taken aback. So, you knew? Or you guessed?
“Words of a jealous, bitter guy,” Taehyung immediately came to your defense. “If you were fucking him, you wouldn’t be a slut in his eyes. That type of guy, you know. Can’t stand him.”
“And you stood up for me?” You cocked both eyebrows up and looked at Taehyung in such a way that it made his heart flutter. He wasn’t into you or anything like that—well, not in a non-sexual way, anyway—but he liked seeing you look at him like he was special. That was a sign of weakness in Taehyung’s book, but he blamed it on the alcohol. “That’s nice.”
“He can’t just say whatever he wants and think I’ll let it slide by,” Taehyung sighed, hoping he wouldn’t get upset over this asshole again. “You know he’s just mad because you turned him down?”
“I don’t really care,” you said with a shrug, and Taehyung instantly believed you. “What I do care about is that you have a soft spot for me.”
You saying that instantly brough Taehyung down to Earth and sobered him up a bit. A soft spot? Taehyung? The only soft thing about him was his dick when he wasn’t around you, but that was about it… Right? “You’re getting kind of cocky, you know…”
“You’re rubbing off on me,” you grinned at him, and Taehyung’s dick twitched in his pants. Oh, he’d get to have so much fun tonight. “But no, seriously, thanks for standing up for me, but don’t feel like you have to. I don’t care about what Hoseok says. Like you’ve said, I’m not sleeping with him.”
“Okay,” Taehyung nodded, happy to hear that but desperate not to let it show. You already thought he had a soft spot for you, so he didn’t want to give you this too.
“Just know you don’t have to argue with him because of me, you two are friends, I guess, so let’s keep it that way,” you nodded, patting his chest.
“Don’t worry about that,” Taehyung shook his head at you. This had nothing to do with you. “Hoseok and I… We’ll handle it. I hate arguing about women, but I know exactly what he’s trying to do. I wanted to tell him I see through it and that it won’t work.”
You smiled at him, and then Taehyung remembered that he forgot to ask you how you knew what Hoseok had said to him. “Wait, what did he tell you?”
Taehyung noticed the slight change in your expression when he asked you that question.
“Ah, nothing. Just his regular bullshit,” you sighed, but Taehyung just kept looking at you so you had to say more on the subject. “He asked me if I sent you to harass and insult him, which made me laugh because I know you were probably just bitchy towards him and he got offended,” you chuckled, and Taehyung was happy you saw right through Hoseok’s bullshit. “And, uhm, yeah. He told me I’m a slut for sleeping with a guy like you and that he doesn’t get what I see in you.”
“And what did you tell him?” Taehyung cocked his head to the side and smiled at you, hoping Hoseok’s words didn’t manage to get to you.
“That the fact that you don’t call me a slut is definitely one of your biggest charms,” you said with a grin, which made Taehyung laugh. He could only imagine how mad Hoseok was when hearing that. “And that he should worry about his girlfriend instead of worrying about the two of us and what we’re doing together.”
“Smart,” Taehyung nodded in approval and you dropped down to your knees, your hands finding his zipper before he could even speak. “Oh, already?”
“I’m tired of all this talking,” you shook your head and pulled his jeans and boxers down his thighs, letting his cock spring free. “And I want to thank you for being so nice to me.”
If Taehyung knew what standing up to Hoseok would get him, he would have done it a lot sooner.
You looked up at him, opened your mouth, and took his half-erect cock in your mouth. The best part was that you started to suck on it, keeping your head still, which made him get harder and harder. But you weren’t moving away, so Taehyung could feel himself getting erect in your mouth, his tip entering your throat, your warmth enveloping him.
“Fuck,” he grunted and brought his hand down to pet your hair. “What a nice mouth…”
“Mhm,” you hummed around his cock happily and started to bob your head up and down, your eyes still locked on Taehyung’s face. Is this how you’d reward him for treating you nicely? He should start doing it more often.
“You look so pretty with a cock in your mouth,” Taehyung couldn’t help but say. “Innocent and nasty at the same time. I love it.”
You smiled and kept moving your head up and down his cock, your hand starting to play with his balls while the other one reached behind and grabbed Taehyung’s ass, digging your fingernails into it, which made him grunt with excitement.
He wasn’t exactly used to just standing there and doing nothing, but he was enjoying every second of it, especially because you seemed so determined to get him to feel good. It was all about him, and Taehyung relaxed and let you take the lead. After you sucked him off, he’d lick you all over to pay you back, and he knew you were aware of that.
“Good fucking girl,” he told you, hands massaging your scalp, pulling your mouth closer to him.
The fact that you were moaning with your eyes closed as you gulped around his cock and took even more of it messed with Taehyung’s head. He loved getting head from you—you suck dick like you’re enjoying it, and that gets him even more riled up every time. You choke on it, wet it with your saliva, gulp around it, and make sounds that get Taehyung to think you love being on your knees for him.
Suddenly, you opened your eyes and looked up at Taehyung, and that made him grunt and buck his hips into your face. Why did you look at him so sweetly? Taehyung liked the attention you were giving him way too much for his own liking. He felt entranced by the way your eyes pierced into his, tears collecting at your lash line.
“You’ve really missed it, huh?” he teased, deciding that was the best way to stop thinking about these things. Teasing led to great punishments and rough sex, neither of which involved thinking about how pretty you looked for him.
You pulled away for a second, swirling your tongue around the tip of his cock, before grinning at him, “Yeah! Your dick really gets me going.”
“Just mine?” Taehyung asked, unsure of why he even asked this stupid question in the first place.
Since when did Taehyung even care about whose dick you want to suck? Why compare to other people? Where did this need to know he was the only one come from? It wasn’t like him, once again, and he was sick and tired of finding out new stuff about himself that night. It seemed like he discovered something new every half an hour, and he was already done with that.
“Yes, only yours,” you said, letting him enter your mouth fully before pulling it out and giving it a couple of hard strokes, squeezing hard as you looked up at him innocently. “Think about it all day when you’re not around.”
Taehyung liked the sound of that so he didn’t shut you up by fucking your face. Some part of him needed to hear you wanted him, and not Hoseok or some other guy. So, when you moaned around his cock again like you were getting fucked, he had no choice but to grunt and tangle his fingers into your hair, this time gripping on it harder.
“Oh, I bet you do,” Taehyung told you, pulling your head in so you’d take a bit more of him in. “How much do you like it?”
“I fucking love it,” you said when he finally released you from his hold. As soon as you could pull your head away and catch a breath, you did, both hands working on stroking his cock, wet with your saliva. “Can’t wait to feel it in me.”
Taehyung’s traitor chest brimmed with pride as he looked at you jerking him off and telling him that while kneeling in front of him and looking at him so sweetly. “You love fucking me so much, can’t wait to feel this cock in you, right?”
Instead of responding, you wrapped your lips around his tip and moved your head forward, starting to bob on it while looking into his eyes, moaning along the way, your tongue tracing the vein on his underside.
“I can tell babe, you are so pretty with a cock in your mouth,” Taehyung patted your cheek and then realized what he was doing.
He liked your compliments too much—Taehyung isn’t the type of guy who cares about this shit. Why would he care about whether he’s the only one you’re fucking? He shouldn’t. Why was he even thinking about how pretty you look? He should have been focused on your mouth.
So, he shook his head at you and pulled out without a warning, slightly entranced by the string of saliva connecting his cock with your mouth. “Enough talking, let’s do it.”
Being as obedient as you always were, you instantly got up and kissed him, letting your tongue roam his mouth. Instead of throwing you on the bed and ravaging you, like he originally planned, Taehyung thought about how soft your lips felt and how he liked having your body pressed against his, or how great you always tasted and how nice your hair smelled, like cotton and vanilla, and his dick got even harder.
What the fuck was that? It wasn’t like Taehyung to get turned on by kissing a girl and playing with her hair.
Was Yoongi right? No, he couldn’t be. To prove he was right, Taehyung started taking your clothes off while kissing you.
“What happened with enough talking?” you teased while you kissed him and grabbed his ass with both hands, pressing his hips into yours, grinding against his erection.
“To the bathroom,” Taehyung sighed and changed his tone once he realized he was forgetting about all his rules and everything he’s said whenever he was around you.
He was treating you too nicely, and maybe it was time he started to give you the treatment he promised, showed you who was in charge here, showed you why you were there in the first place. So, you two made your way to the bathroom and before Taehyung knew it, you were leaning against the sink, your clothes left in the room.
The fact that you were naked for him excited him much more than Taehyung wanted to admit, so he didn’t. Instead, he dropped to his knees and grabbed your ass cheeks, giving them a light squeeze before spreading them.
“So fucking wet already,” Taehyung grunted and dove in like he’d wanted to the entire night. Your pussy was intoxicating to him, so warm and tight, but also so very sweet, tangy, a taste he could feel on his tongue for hours after he’s had you, a smell that lingered on his dick and fingers for a while.
“Oh my god,” your body stiffened the second Taehyung’s hungry mouth made contact with your pussy, covering all of it, his tongue sneaking in between your lips, desperate to find your clit.
When he did, you bucked your hips into his face, and Taehyung couldn’t help but grunt. Going down on you was his favorite—there was just something about having you so vulnerable, letting him do whatever he wanted, and enjoying every second of it.
“Fuck, there!” You sounded so needy that he almost stopped the whole thing and dragged you to the bed so he could go down on you for hours.
He loved being on top of you and moving down your body until his mouth found and sucked on your clit, he fed on the looks you gave him as you ate you out and all the faces you made when he hit the right spots with his fingers. However, Taehyung didn’t want to do that tonight.
No, instead, he was taking you from behind, first prepping you, his tongue moving up and down your slit, sneaking to your wet hole, moving around it before pulling out and licking its way to your clit, which he sucked on, hands kneading the flesh of your ass. This way, Taehyung didn’t have to look at you, didn’t have to get hard because of the way you looked, and could only eat you and listen. Even that was enough to get him to leak precum.
“Enough, huh?” he asked, pulling away from your crotch, enjoying the fact that everything was glistening with your juices and his saliva—a clear pointer to just how much you liked his touch. “Let’s fuck.”
He didn’t make you come with his mouth, as promised. Taehyung could have, but he just wanted to fuck. All the conversations from today were messing with his head and he wasn’t able to think straight. That’s why Taehyung hoped fucking you will get all these stupid thoughts to just stop.
“Fuck me,” you told him, leaning against the sink while perching your ass up even more for easier access. The sight was delicious and, if Taehyung wasn’t so busy trying to forget everything, he would have asked you to take a picture.
In a matter of seconds, his cockhead was positioned at your entrance, sliding right in. You hissed at the stretch, but the grunting told Taehyung you loved it despite the stinging. He felt the same way—your walls always took him in so well, wrapped around him fully, like they didn’t want to let him pull out. “God, you’re tight,” he mumbled at you before spanking your ass once, just to hear the sound again. “Taking my dick so well.”
“More, Tae, more,” you told him as your gazes met in the mirror. There was something so sexual about the way you looked at Taehyung that it made his hips start snapping into yours from behind, dick grazing against the spongy part of your cunt that made you weak in the knees every single time.
You loved fucking him, you loved his dick, and you wanted to keep doing it—that was enough for Taehyung. He pumped into you hard from below.
“You’re such a fucking slut for me, I love it,” his grunts were overpowered by the conviction in his voice.
He was determined not to give you special treatment that night. You’d get what every other partner of his got—great sex, a lot of dirty talk, and overall nastiness, but that was it. No compliments. Taehyungcouldn’t keep calling you pretty every time he looked at you, he couldn’t stare into your eyes and want to kiss you, he didn’t want to get lost in your scent any more than he already has.
“Just for you,” you moaned, hands gripping the sink hard, his hard thrusts pushing your hips into the sink. “God, that’s so deep.”
Taehyung agreed—he was so deep inside of you he felt like his cock could blow any minute now and shower your walls with cum. But, that wasn’t his intention yet. First, you come. The position gave him a new angle, one which allowed him to enter you full and pull out fairly easily, which got you to moan hard, moans quickly turning into grunts.
“You sound like a fucking animal,” Taehyung bit on your shoulder before going back to giving his full focus to fucking you hard. “Grunting for dick while one is already in you… So fucking greedy.”
“Just don’t stop, you’re hitting it,” you muttered through clenched teeth, knuckles white from holding onto the sink, his cock mercilessly pounding into you, causing your juices to drip down over his cock and balls, some ending up on your inner thigh, some on the floor between you. “What are you on tonight? Fuck, this is perfect.”
Maybe Yoongi was right—Taehyung was going soft on you, and that clearly wasn’t the best way to go. Just like he thought, you preferred to get railed like a whore, naked in someone’s bathroom, letting men eat your pussy from behind, letting him take you from the back like you’re just a warm hole he can use and come inside of, and all of that tells Taehyung you two are the perfect sex partners. But, nothing more.
“Just want to fuck you like a slut like you deserves,” Taehyung muttered at you, feeling weak in the knees when he felt you clench involuntarily. He knew you were close and that your pussy would soon start clenching even faster until you came all over his cock. “Swallowing my cock so well with your pretty little cunt, huh?”
“Oh my god, Tae,” you weren’t able to say much more than that, clearly, and he had to sneak a glance towards the mirror just to see your face, to see what his cock was doing to you.
Taehyung didn’t regret it at all, not when he saw your eyes looking so dazed, half-closed, face scrunched as you started whining with every breath, teeth digging into your soft bottom lip. The whines got faster and higher, so Taehyung did his best to fuck into you as hard as he could. He closed his eyes and just focused on you, on the way you felt around him, warm and wet, clenching, pulling his cock back whenever he tried to leave.
“Tight little cunt wants to get filled, huh?” He surprised himself by how deep and desperate his voice sounded, but Taehyung didn’t mind. You were crying out with each move of his hips by that point, too gone to notice.
“Fuck yes, fill me with your cum, Tae,” you managed to say in between whines and hisses. “Want you to cum in me badly.”
“I will,” he made a promise he intended to keep, but not before he had his fun.
With another couple of hard and sharp thrusts, Taehyung managed to send you over the edge, enjoying the way you moved your hips back into his cock in a spasm, screaming his name, pussy clenching around him, not wanting to let him leave.
He was on the verge of just giving up on his plan and coming inside of you right away, but he stopped himself in time. Tehyung had to prove to himself that you were just a sex partner, someone he could just fuck and treat like he treated everyone else.
“Get in the bathtub,” he ordered with a quick move of his hips that allowed his cock to fall out of your tight hole, the creamy remnants of your orgasm spread all over his erection.
“Why?” Your tone of voice, fucked out and confused, told Taehyung you weren’t sure what was going on, but that was only normal—the orgasm was a long one and you were still trying to catch your breath, the sink providing you with much-needed support that stopped you from falling.
Without hesitation, Taehyung replied, careful to pronounce each word slowly, his cock tingling with excitement at the thought, “So I can shower that pussy.”
“Really?” you asked, cocking your head to the side with a grin as you looked at him in the mirror, beads of sweat all over you. Despite getting fucked roughly, you still looked so fucking innocent with your mouth slightly open as you breathed loudly, eyes focus on Taehyung’s.
“Yeah… And I know you want it,” Taehyung licked his lips and continued staring right back at you. “You’re such a little nasty slut for me. You’d let me do whatever I wanted.”
Without feeling the need to respond, you got in the bathtub, sat down, and spread your legs, letting them hang over the side of the tub. The pose allowed Taehyung to stand right next to the tub and look down at you, holding his cock. At that moment, he felt like he was on the top of the world, having someone so fucking hot and attractive and great in bed practically putty in his hands—in the tub, pretty legs spread so obediently, wet, fucked out, and swollen pussy on full display for Taehyung’s eyes only.
Since he was too busy just gawking at your naked body, you looked up at Taehyung and gulped loudly. “I’ve never done this before, but it looks kind of hot sometimes.”
“Surprised that someone as nasty as you hasn’t tried it,” Taehyung chuckled, shaking off the bad feeling he had in his chest. “Sure about this?”
“Yes,” you nodded. “Maybe it will be something I enjoy.”
When he looked into your eyes, he felt kind of bad for even wanting to do this to you. It wasn’t his first time and definitely wouldn’t be his last, but did you really deserve this? Then again, you wanted it. You both did. You wanted to try something new with a guy you trusted, and Taehyung had something to prove to himself.
Then, it started coming to him, and a stream of warm piss left his cock just as he pointed it straight at your clit. The loud moan you let out showed him you liked the feeling. The hot liquid landed directly on your clit and then dripped down over your lips and pussy, down your ass, and onto the bathtub’s floor. Clearly, you enjoyed it—it was like water, just warm, and your pussy liked the warmth.
Usually, it felt nice to do this to someone, felt like they’re letting you use them in the most feral way possible, letting you mark them, but not with you. Well, the feeling was nice when Taehyung only concentrated on your pussy and the fact that he was literally showering it with his piss, but as soon as he looked up to see your reaction, he felt bad about it, even though you seemed to be enjoying it.
You were staring down at your crotch, enjoying the sight of Taehyung pissing on you. Thankfully, it didn’t last long because all Taehyung had in him was a lot of alcohol and it just needed to get out of his body.
When he was done, Taehyung gave his cock one final shake and moved to the sink to wash his hands. “You should, uh, maybe shower here?” he suggested, opening the nearest drawer and then a couple of other ones until he found a towel, which he then placed next to the sink.
“Will you join me?” you grinned with your head cocked to the side, clearly still under the impression of what had just happened. It was a new thing for you and for the two of you together. “You have to come, too.”
Taehyung felt sick to his stomach, sick of himself. Was this really necessary? Why was he trying so hard to prove a point when he could have just left? He didn’t have to prove anything to anyone, including himself. “No. I have to leave now. We’ll talk later, ok?”
“Hey, is everything okay?” you asked, getting up and looking at him worriedly. You both stood there naked, you in the bathtub, him next to the sink, and stared at one another, the tension becoming palpable, a look of betrayal on your face. Taehyung watched you link your arms over your chest as if you were trying to hide from him, and he suddenly felt weird too.
“Yeah,” Taehyung nodded and cleared his throat, feeling sick to his stomach. “Just had too much to drink and want to get home ASAP.”
“If you say so,” you said with a sigh, and he could tell you were not convinced. “I’ll, uh, see you.”
“Sure,” Taehyung forced out a smile and left the bathroom, closing the door on his way out so you didn’t have to watch him gather his clothes and get into them, feeling like a total idiot and a fucking perverted creep.
He made his way downstairs in less than a minute, sweaty, cock throbbing, a feeling of guilt washing over his chest. On his way out, Taehyung ran into Yoongi, who grinned at him warmly. “Saw you leaving with your friend. Where is she?”
“Up there, showering,” Taehyung shrugged, acting like it didn’t bother him. “I’m leaving.”
This seemed very interesting to Yoongi, who narrowed his eyes as he tried to get more information out of his friend, “Without her?”
Somehow, the question made Taehyung snap, “What are we, attached at the hip?” It wasn’t his night, clearly. He’d snapped at both Hoseok and Yoongi, and treated you like shit, just to stop feeling this way, but he felt even worse now.
Yoongi noticed the change of tone and the grimace on Taehyung’s face, so he took a step back. “Whoa… Everything alright?”
“Why’s everyone asking me this?”
“Did this fight with Hoseok do something for the two of you?” Yoongi seemed as understanding as always. “I hope not. Hoseok should really apologize if that’s the case.”
“It’s not about fucking Hoseok,” Taehyung tried to sound calm, but he muttered that asshole’s name. It all started because of him. “I don’t care, I’ve told you a million times.”
“I think you do,” Yoongi smiled at him like he was dumb, like everyone saw something about him that he just didn’t, like he didn’t know himself at all—and Taehyung hated that.
“Do you give golden showers to girls you like?” he spat the words at Yoongi, hoping that would prove his point.
Yoongi’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Then, he regained his composure and leaned in, lowering his voice while placing a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. “Dude… When I do shit like that with someone who’s willing to trust me enough for it, I don’t go around telling people that. Now, I’m me, and you know I won’t spread this shit around or mention it to her, but why would you tell me this? Did you do this just to prove to yourself that you can do something nasty?”
Taehyung rolled his eyes at his friend’s suggestion, once again feeling the need to just rush out of there. “No, I did it because I wanted to. We both did.”
“I have a feeling you suggested it.”
“I did, so?” Another shrug from Taehyung was greeted by a grimace from his friend.
“It had nothing to do with what I said earlier, about you not wanting to give any details and about you never doing nasty stuff to her?” Yoongi’s eyebrows raised questioningly, mouth tonguing his cheek. “How surprising that you happened to do both right after I said it.”
“What are you trying to prove?” Taehyung leaned in and practically hissed the words at his friend, sick and tired of people telling him how he feels.
“That you’re endangering this thing you have because you so desperately want to prove you don’t care about her by doing this shit. This girl is a nice girl who wants to have fun with you,” he paused and sighed. “Instead of accepting that and what you’re starting to feel for her, which is totally normal and expected after fucking someone you like and spending time around them, you go out there and treat her like a random hookup and then leave her.”
“I…” Taehyung gulped, faced with the consequences of his own actions. There could have been some truth to that, which is what annoyed him. When Yoongi put it like that, it sounded like a normal thing. “She’s showering, what does she need me for?”
“Maybe to keep an eye on the door or on her clothes while she does it?” Yoongi shook his head at Taehyung like he was the dumbest person to ever exist. “You really do suck sometimes, I have to give Hoseok that.”
“Oh,” Taehyung mouthed, looking to the side.
Why didn’t he think of that? It was true, he left you in the bathtub, unable to get out unless you wanted to get his piss all over someone’s floor, which he doubted. But, anyone could walk in because Taehyung walked out, unable to lock the door behind himself without locking you inside.
Your clothes were scattered around the room, and you’d probably have a hard time doing all of that while thinking someone’s going to walk in, which was always possible at such parties.
“But why do I care?” Taehyung shrugged, glaring at his friend, who looked disappointed. Well, Taehyung was disappointed too. “You don’t stay around after a hookup, right?”
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Planting your feet against the floor, you rocked your hips against his, feeling him deep inside you. The way he filled you was always something you loved, but the angle he hit as you pinned him to the chair was almost too much. His cock was just long enough to hit all the right spots and he was wide enough to give your cunt a stretch that was just the pleasure side of pain.
Wrapping your arms around his neck, you start to ride him in earnest, finding a rhythm that would have the both of you cumming in short order. When his hands grabbed your ass, squeezing to hold you still, you had to chuckle to yourself as you felt him start to lose his control, tiny thrust of his hips meeting your own. Running your fingers into his hair, you dug your nails lightly against his scalp, eliciting a moan from him causing him to grip you harder, his thrusts becoming harder.
With a soft moan, you held on to his shoulders, slumping forward to meet his upper body with your own. The feel of your bodies pressing against each other had you panting into his ear in short, hot breaths. Hovering just above him, you were happy to let him take control over pleasuring the both of you, your knees getting weaker as his hips sped up, the force making them smack into your ass.
“Close Jimin. Please.” You felt his thighs flex under you as your words affected him. Moving one hand from your ass to the back of your neck, Jimin pulled you back enough to crash his lips into your own. Moaning at the feel of his lips against your, you were able to feel the smile that spread as he moved the hand at your neck down between the both of you, his thumb quickly finding your sensitive nerves before circling it.
“Cum for me. Now.” Jimin pulled back enough to watch the way you rocked against him and how wet the digit on your clit was getting. With a swift motion, he pulled his thumb away, popping it in his mouth, letting you watch as he tasted you for the first time that night. Biting his bottom lip, he quickly placed his thumb back between your legs before leaning back in for another kiss, forcing you to taste yourself on his tongue. Hearing the spank before you felt it, you came with a shout, baring down and grinding your hips against him.
Pulling you close, Jimin bit down on your shoulder, fucking you through your orgasm, before picking you up and moving you to lay on the bed. “I hope you don’t think we're done yet.” He arched an elegant brow at you.
It had finally been enough. After a couple of days subtly dropping hints about your needs that went ignored, today was finally going to be the day. As you walked into the bedroom where your boyfriend had his computer set up, you were no longer surprised to see his headset on as he gamed with his friends. Dropping the robe you had put on after your bath, you crawled up on the bed, knowing that you were just out of Seokjin’s field of vision.
Laying back against your pillows, you bent your legs enough to plant your feet against the mattress before letting your hand roam freely over your still damp body. Kicking your head back, you gave your breasts a soft squeeze before letting your fingers wander lower, your legs spreading as you moved your hands to where you wanted Jin’s. A soft moan escaped your lips as your digits met your clit, giving yourself a few tentative swirls of your finger, your body more than ready and willing giving the way you’d worked yourself up in the bathroom.
So caught up in the work you were putting into your own body, you didn't notice the dip in the mattress until another finger joined your own, a small sound of a surprise coming from you as you closed your legs around Jin’s hand.
“Oh no, don’t stop the show now.” He said as he placed his free hand on your knee, forcing your legs back open. “You wanted me to watch, so keep going.”
Feeling the thrill of being watched, you moaned and continued working your clit, building on the work you’d done earlier, the pressure building faster now that Jin’s attention was where you wanted it to be; on you.
Leaning your head up, you watched Seokjin watch you, and the sight of how affected he’d become was almost enough to have you cumming. You slowed down, wanting to draw it out for the both of you. It wasn’t enough for him though with the way he worked one finger into you, causing you to almost scream at the intrusion. Clenching around his fingers, he rubbed the inside of your thigh with his other hand, calming you. Deep breath and making yourself relax, it was easier for him to slide in and out of you, quickly adding a second finger. Jin’s fingers always felt amazing as they pushed and pulled inside your wet cunt, curling inside you just the way you liked. Focusing on that feeling had slowed your own hand, wanting to take in every detail of how he felt inside you.
The sharp pain against your hand snapped your head up to look at him. “I didn’t say you could stop.”
Moaning, you set back to working on your sensitive nub, circling it in time with the way Jin’s fingers thrust and curled inside you, the feeling of your climax doubling. Feeling the way you gripped him, Jin stopped the thrusting and curled his fingers against a spot inside you that had your toes curling.
You grabbed his hand, panting as a new feeling hit you. “Jin, please… Wait.”
Jin just smiled down at you and continued his work, tapping the same spot over and over. With a last press, you cam with such force that your head slammed into the pillow as warm drops hit the skin of your things and lower stomach. Heaving a breath, you sit up, looking at your boyfriend, who was covered from lower abdomen to chest in the same drops you’d felt against your skin. The grin he was wearing was almost wild, looking like he wanted to eat you up.
“Uh… sorry.” You closed your legs around his hand still inside you.
Pushing your legs back open, he leaned in, Jin pressed his lips against yours. “Don’t ever apologize. That was fucking hot.” He pressed gentle kisses across your cheeks, calming any lingering embarrassment.
Kissing him back, you pulled Seokjin against your body only to recoil at the moisture that still clung to his skin. “Okay, but maybe a bath before we go any further?”
Smiling at you, Jin pulled back, offering you his hand to help you from the bed. “What? I like wearing these. They’re like tiny little badges of honor.”
With a groan, you pushed his shoulder and followed him to the bathroom. “Maybe you get my hints next time.”
Author’s Note: The end hurt me a little. But this gif... *chef's kiss*
My Masterlist
“Hold on a little longer.” He ground his hips against you, the movement adding stimulation against your clit as he did.
Gripping on to Hoseok’s biceps, your head fell back against the pillow as you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him in closer.
“Look at me.” Hoseok whispered against your ear before pulling back, his arms caging in your head as you looked into his eyes, full of so many emotions that you almost had to look away from the feeling that it brought up in you.
A moan leaving you lips, you gazed up at him, hoping that your eyes showed the same love you felt from his. Moving your hands from his arms to his neck, you pulled Hoseok down closer, closing your eyes as your lips met his. It was almost too intimate.
Hoseok pulled back, his thrusts picking up a little more speed and giving himself enough room to move his skilled fingers between your bodies, working your most sensitive parts as though it was the only thing left in the world for him to do.
It was slow and precise and everything you needed in that moment. Vastly different from the rough and feral way the both of you would normally have sex. That was a flurry of hands and mouths touching any and every inch of skin you could find. This, however, contained all the love you both felt for each other.
Hoseok’s eyes bore into your own, holding your attention as the tempo of his thrusts sped up, the finger he had on your clit keeping a steady pressure. You clenched around him, feeling the pressure build and build, waiting to spill over like adding more drops of water to an already full glass.
“Close baby. So close.” He breathed the hand still beside you, working its way under your head, holding it. “Stay here.”
Locking your eyes in place, you could feel the way Hoseok’s cock twitched inside you, his tell that it wouldn’t be much longer. Clearing everything from your mind except the way his body played your own, you kept eye contact as a final movement of his fingers sent you over the edge. Grabbing his back, you rode your release against him, spasming and moaning, but never breaking where your eyes were focused, watching as Hoseok followed you in his own climax. In that post-orgasm clarity, you knew how much you loved him and how much it would hurt if he ever left and you couldn’t help the single tear that rolled down your cheek at the thought.
“I love you.” You whispered against his lips, before kissing him, pulling him to you like he’d disappear if you didn’t.
Hoseok, with a bit of struggle, pulled back, looking into your eye again, as though he was trying to force the word into your brain. “I love you and always will.”
Warnings: Threesome, sloppy seconds, unprotective sex (God, please, don't do the things I write or at least use a condom.)
Author’s Note: This started out as something totally different. Deleted it and got this. Have fun kids.
My Masterlist
“Jesus fuck!” Moaning as you pushed against the hips of the man in front of you, you looked over your shoulder to watch the way Taehyung slammed his hips into yours. You were forced to look back to the front, Jungkook's hands on either side of your face as he looked down at you.
“Keep that dirty fucking mouth open for me, okay?” Jungkook growled before he was pressing the head of his cock against your closed lips. You opened for him, letting his thickness back into your willing mouth, and were shoved almost nose to the pelvis as Taehyung continued to pound into your wet cunt.
They had both already gotten you off multiple times and were now chasing their own release. With a shout, Taehyung's hips crashed against your ass, circling himself inside of you as he came. He leaned forward, pressing his chest against your back, and watched Jungkook use your mouth the same way he’d just done to your pussy. He praised you, kissing your neck as he looked up at Jungkook.
Without knowing the look that they shared, your mouth was suddenly empty and the weight of Taehyung against your back was gone. Watching as Jungkook moved to where Taehyung was on the bed, you held yourself up, planting your arms. Your eyes followed Jungkook as he walked behind you.
“Fuck, you look so god damn sexy with Taehyung leaking out of you like that,” Jungkook said, his voice holding heat and amazement.
Clenching your now empty cunt, you could feel the way Taehyung dripped down your clit. With a groan, you fell face-first against the bed, hiding any embarrassment that might have shown on your face.
“Always so fucking pretty for us, aren’t you?” Taehyung’s deep voice floated over you as someone’s hand spread your ass for the two men behind you, a finger scooping up what had dripped and stuffed it back inside your already full pussy. “Hold on to that for us.”
The hands that had been holding you open vanished, replaced with more hands on either side of your hips. Something much larger than Taehyung’s finger pushed against the entrance of your sloppy cunt, working you open again,
Pushing yourself back up so you look behind and see what was happening, your eyes are drawn to the way Jungkook used all his concentration to work his cock into you. The dirty feeling you had at being full of another man’s cum melted away at the moan that left his lips as he sank his cock into you.
“Fuck, baby. You’re always so wet for us, but this….” Jungkook’s words died as his thrusts speed up. You could and hear feel the way Taehung’s cum frothed with the way Jungkook fucked you and it was too much in addition to the blinding way you were fucked. As soon s you felt a finger against your clit, you were screaming your final climax of the evening and still, Jungkook didn’t let up, solely focusing on getting himself off. You squeezed around him, so past overstimulation that you could feel the wet heat of tears sliding down your face.
With a shout, Jungkook followed your orgasm with his own, He stilled against you before pulling out, letting both his and what was left of Taehyung’s cum run out of you. Both the men sat back and smiled at their work before you broke their attention. “Do either one of you two idiots want to get me a towel?”
Warnings: Unprotected Sex (still wrap it up my guys)
My Masterlist
The trip out to the campsite had been an interesting one. With the way he’d teased you in the car, you were sure that Jungkook would have dragged you immediately into one of the rooms in the cabin you were sharing with the rest of your friends for the week. However, when he’d gone to fight with Taehyung as soon as you’d all gotten your bags inside, you were understandably disappointed.
Feelings hurt, you locked yourself away in your room to get a handle on your emotions. Your relationship was still shiny new and this would be the first time you’d be spending time together as a couple with the rest of your friends. Unpacking your clothes, you looked for something comfortable to put on after the bath you planned to take, but the red lace of the lingerie you’d bought taunted you. With a heavy sigh, you picked it up along with the yoga pants and oversized tee shirt that always made you feel better. Who cares at this point if Jungkook got to see the sheer red lace this weekend, you wanted to feel pretty.
The bath had done a lot to cleared your head, and as you slipped the lingerie on, you smiled. It would be a secret. If Jungkook caught a glimpse of it, it would only serve him right. The way he’d been gripping your thigh the whole road trip here had worked you into a frenzy, then nothing had ever come of it. Fucking tease. Whatever. This would show him.
You left your room, heading into the kitchen where you could hear the rest of the guys shouting. Smiling to yourself, you walked by the man who had been tormenting you on the way to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, the collar of your shit slipping and a glimpse of red showing. It had to have been what prompted Jungkook to right your shirt, a low rumble in his chest as he pulled you, your water forgotten.
“Outside, baby.” He breathed against your ear, voice low enough that no one else would hear him.
You could feel the heat of him against your back and you wanted to stay right here, in the circle of his arms. It wasn’t until he was pushing the both of you out the sliding glass door that you realized he’d moved you. He broke away from you, grabbed your hand instead, and led you into the thin wood that hadn’t been completely cleared off.
With a quick pull, you found yourself with your back against a tree, the rest of the surrounding foliage obscuring you from the house. With a held breath, you looked up at the man who’d pulled you out here. Jungkook’s eyes were dark and hooded as he looked down at you, caging you against the tree with his strong arms.
To your own surprise, you held your ground against him. “Well, you got us out here, what’s the plan now, tough guy?”
Jungkook turned his head, cracking his neck before he was yanking your shirt and pants off your body, the real surprise was how he’d managed to do so without ripping anything. His jaw dropped as soon as he saw what you’d been hiding beneath your clothes and the growl that came from him had you squirming under his gaze.
“Do you think you could really parade around here, in that, and think I wouldn’t notice?” Jungkook hissed out through clenched teeth.
“What’s wrong, Kookie? Did it tease you too much?” You cocked an eyebrow at him in challenge. “You had to deal with that for what? Five seconds? I had to dea-..”
Words cut short, you moaned into his kiss which held all the same frustrations you’d had for the past few hours. It wasn't soft or sweet or slow. More tongue than anything else, you yipped when he picked you up, hooking his arms under your knees. Pressing his chest against yours, he used a hand to quickly rip out the crotch of your brand new underwear and you whimpered, pouting up at him.
“I’ll buy you more, baby.” He said as he sank his cock into you. You hadn’t even realized that he was hard and bare. “I’ll buy you more in any color you want.” He huffed, struggling to hold you against the tree and get the leverage he needed to fuck you open. “Every set. Every color. All of them.”
The back of your head hit the tree, relishing in the feel of him working his hips into yours. Moaning as you moved a hand between your bodies, quickly finding your clit before sliding a bit further down to where he was thrusting into you. Jungkook’s head fell onto your shoulder, his lips quickly finding your collar bone, he moaned into your skin, his pace getting more erratic. It wouldn't be much longer.
Moving your fingers back to your clit, you worked it quickly getting as worked up as Jungkook was. When he started to whimper slightly, you gave him the push he needed. “Come on, Kookie. Cum for me baby.”
Thrusting harder, fingers continuing to work, you came seconds before Jungkook did. Still, he held you up, fucking the both of you through your shared orgasm. He stilled for a moment then gently let your legs down, his sticky forehead coming down to meet yours. “I meant it. I promise I’ll get you new underwear.”
Chuckling, you wrapped your arms around his neck, nodding at him. “Let's get dressed, okay? Will talk about shopping once we get home.”
Warnings: Bondage, spanking, spreader bar, blindfold
Author’s Note: A continuation of this Yoongi. They can be read separately though. But this particularly Yoongi wouldn't let me go. There might be more of him in the future.
My Masterlist
You should have known better than to push him as far as you had at dinner, but he was just so easy to tease. You knew that what you’d done in the bathroom at the restaurant wasn't enough for either of you. So, you had decided to keep teasing him under the table until he’d shown you his phone with the tally marks on it, his smile falling for a moment when he turned his screen to you.
A line for every time you’d smarted off or had grabbed his soft dick through his pants or moved his hand up your thigh and under the bottom of your dress, reminding him that you hadn’t been able to put your underwear back on. You’d stopped most of your antics when you saw just how far you'd gone until you’d left your friends for the evening.
As soon as you got home, Yoongi attacked. The way he’d pushed you up against the wall, his leg slotting between yours, how the fabric of his jean-clad thigh rubbed against your most sensitive parts, the way his lips and teeth worked against the skin of your neck… All of it you’d earned. When he’d pulled back, ordered you to strip and get in the room, you didn’t know what to expect. You’d both been growing a rather extensive toy collection over your relationship and there were still quite a few unused items.
You let the dress you’d been wearing fall to the floor before crawling onto the middle of the bed, awaiting whatever punishment you knew was coming. When Yoongi entered the room a few footsteps behind you, the fire that burned in his dark eyes had you thankful that you didn’t have any underwear on to ruin even further.
Pressing your thighs together, you could feel how wet you already were as he walked over to the closest that contained the various toys. The first thing he’d brought back to you had been a blindfold. With a tenderness that he always had despite how thoroughly he’d wreck you, Yoongi covered your eyes. Once he was sure you couldn’t see what was coming, he arranged you so your chest was against the soft comforter of the bed, ass in the air and fully exposed to him.
“You really should have been better at dinner, princess.” You could hear Yoongi’s voice drifting away from you and knew that he had to be back in the closet. The ping of metal against metal sent a shiver down your spine, but you wouldn't move for anything in the world unless Yoongi told you to. You were already in enough trouble.
The first thing to be bound was your left foot, quickly followed by the right. Your legs were spread as far as they could be and still be on your knees. With rough movements, Yoongi pulled your arms between your legs and attached them to what you'd finally realized to be a metal spreader bar with the same speed as he’d done with your ankles.
“Now, that’s a pretty sight. Can’t hide from me at all, can you?” Yoongi’s voice held pride in it and his chuckle had your pussy clenching around nothing. His warm hands grabbed your ass, spreading you even more, his hot breath hitting your clit, knowing he was watching how your cunt dripped and clenched for him before he spoke again. “God, you’re so beautiful, princess.”
Trying to close your legs, you struggle against the metal bar that held you open. The sharp pain registered before the sound of Yoongi spanking your expertly present ass. You whined and wiggled as much as you were able to, knowing that you couldn't get away. Still, you had to fight at least a little bit, right?
“No no no, princess. You earned this.” Yoongi's hand came down against you again, on the opposite cheek to even out the welts that you knew you’d have later. “Be good, take your punishment and I might let you get off tonight.”
Author’s Note: Bathing times can be fun if you do them right. However, shower sex is stupid and I don't respect it.
My Masterlist
Unhooking the wrist restraints from the headboard, then unbuckling them from around your wrists, you were so thoroughly spent that you could hardly focus on him as he kissed the marks the leather had made from where you’d pulled against them. Giving your wrists a gentle rub, Taehyung smiles down at you as if you were the most precious thing he’d ever seen. You weakly smiled back at him before wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Hold on tight, okay love?” His husky voice floats over you as he wraps your arms around his neck. You used what little strength you had left to lock your arms together, keeping yourself close to him as he slid one arm under your knees and the other around your back, pulling you up as he stood. He hummed softly, the vibrations from his chest lulling you into an even deeper peace than what you’d been a few minutes earlier.
Carefully carrying you into the large bathroom that was attached to the bedroom, Taehyung sets you down on the edge of the tub before beginning to fill it with warm water. He picked up two different bath bombs, holding both of them out to you, silently asking for your opinion. You pointed at the pink one that smelled of sweet almond and rose.
“Unwrap that for me, sweet? I’ll get us a change of clothes.” Taehyung gently caressed your cheek with the back of his hand as you nodded up at him, still not confident that your voice wouldn’t crack if you answered him any other way.
Watching him leave the bathroom would have spiked your anxiety a few months ago, but you knew he wasn’t too far. You unwrapped the bath bomb, letting the smell ease any apprehension that might linger, and by the time you were letting the pink ball fall from your fingertips into the water, Taehyung was back. The boxy smile that you knew was only for moments like this lit up his face as he held up a bright yellow and white sleeping onesie with a tiger face on the hood. You giggled, knowing that he is bound to have his matching one also with him.
Taehyung placed the change of clothes on the bathroom counter then turned to you. “Ready to get cleaned up, love?”
Voice starting to feel stronger, you mumbled an “mhmm” at him as he picked you up again and stepped into the scented bath water with you. Carefully letting your legs down, he helped you sit before taking his place behind. You lean back against his toned chest, the heat of the water, the smell of the bath bomb, and Taehyung’s hums relaxing every tense muscle you had. You were practically purring as he started to run the washcloth along your arms, taking extra care around your wrist where the leather restraints had been.
Starting to clean the inside of your thighs, the rougher texture of the washcloth in his hand grazes against your still highly sensitive clit and you hiss a sharp intake of breath while a shiver runs through your body. You notice Taehyung watching your reaction, smiling at him, sliding your hands down his hands.
“Do that again? Please?” You whisper, smiling bigger when he dips his hands back between your legs, letting the cloth float away as you grind your hips against his hand. Placing open-mouthed kisses along your neck, Taehyung skillfully circles your clit, drawing another climax from you as he praises you in hushed tones before he returns to getting you clean.
After ruining his chance of being with you, Jungkook struggles to cope with being all alone.
⤑ word count: 12.7k
⤑ pairing: jungkook x reader
⤑ genre: angst, strangers to lovers, rockstar!au, slow burn
⤑ warnings: mature topics, mentions of terminal illness, self-destructive behavior, depiction of sexual intercourse, drug and alcohol use, online hate; jk kind of spirals so proceed with caution
⤑ rating: 18+
⤑ playlist
⤑ read on AO3
» Puddle of Love – one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine
Jungkook opened his eyes and found himself blinded by the sun, so he closed them again and took a deep breath, trying to figure out what happened. Where was he? God knew. It didn’t seem like his bed—he always had his blinds closed because he didn’t want the sun to wake him up at the crack of dawn, especially not after a long night. Those have become his staple lately.
Is that what happened last night? Another long night of partying, resulting in him sleeping at someone else’s place? His head hurt like hell, so probably.
It’s been, what?, a week since the accident, and Jungkook’s shoulder still hurt like hell, mostly because he wasn’t resting like he was supposed to. Everyone else was already doing better, but not Jungkook. Kijung was losing his mind over his behavior, but Jungkook knew that guy would never get how he felt.
Where was he, though? Some hotel?
The bed was comfortable, but there were no cushions, sheets, or blankets, which Jungkook found weird. What kind of a place lets people sleep on a single sheet without offering cushions, additional sheets, blankets, or anything like that? It seemed suspicious.
The other option was that there used to be sheets here, but Jungkook somehow managed to lose them, which was even worse. What did Jungkook do with these things, if they were there to begin with? Despite his nasty reputation, he wasn’t into ruining other people’s property.
Jungkook looked around the room, getting himself to open his eyes despite the sunlight. He felt like shit—he reeked of alcohol, he felt sweaty and gross, and his head was spinning. Most of all, he was exhausted. When he went out, he had so much fun and managed to forget all the crap that was going on, but when he woke up the next morning… Man, it wasn’t worth it. His head was pulsating, his stomach felt empty, and everything hurt.
He used again.
Jungkook told you he wouldn’t, but he was a piece of shit after all, right? So what did it matter if he used or not? He lost everything because of one dumb fucking mistake, so another one or two wouldn’t make a difference. Jungkook was slowly but surely losing everything anyway, so to hell with it all. If he is falling, he might as well crash and burn. Jungkook could at least numb all the feelings and go through life like that instead of hating himself every single minute of every single day.
Jungkook planted his feet on the ground next to the bed and stepped into something wet, which turned out to be one of at least a couple of used condoms lying around the room. That was gross, even for him. Did he get so high he didn’t know how to use trash cans anymore?
Jungkook shook his head in disgust, feeling sick to his stomach, and got up slowly, knowing he’d feel dizzy the second he stood up, which he did. When walking towards the bathroom, he spotted something on the sofa with the corner of his eye, so he walked over to the door to see what it was.
What was this place, some type of an apartment suite? It looked like it, nobody had houses that nice. Anyway, Jungkook saw two half-naked girls lying on the sofa. So that’s where the pillows and sheets went. The girls were using both the cushions and the sheets to sleep on. They didn’t even look familiar, but they were there with him, clearly. There was no one else in the room.
He couldn’t even feel bad about it. What would be the point? You no longer wanted to talk to him, see him, be friendly with him, let alone give him the time of day, so did he really have any other options? This way, he could at least pretend he was with you in some way or the other, or that someone cared for him.
Jungkook took a long shower, realizing just how much he fucking hated himself. Well, at least he stuck to one thing he promised and prohibited the women he fucked from sleeping next to him. Everything else, though? He walked all over that.
Once he was all done, Jungkook got dressed despite his clothes smelling like smoke and alcohol, threw the condoms into the trash can, not wanting to subject the staff to that bullshit, and left a huge tip to the person who’d have to clean the room.
He didn’t wake the girls up to say goodbye to them—Jungkook never made such promises and he was sure they weren’t expecting him to do it anyway. He couldn’t even remember them.
Instead, he walked to the reception and paid for the room before going back to his hotel, where he was met by Kijung’s deathly stare five minutes after he walked into the bedroom and got into some clean clothes.
“Are you following me or?” Jungkook asked as he opened the door and saw Kijung’s angry face. How did this dude always know how to pick the worst possible time to come hold one of his lectures? It was almost remarkable, this ability of his. Jungkook just didn’t have the patience to deal with it, not today.
“I told the people at the reception to let me know when you get in,” Kijung said curtly, not seeing anything wrong with the statement, clearly. Jungkook disagreed.
“Okay, so you are,” he scoffed, rubbing the corners of his eyes. When he agreed to all of this, he never thought his manager would act like his babysitter and watch his every fucking move. Was he not allowed to go out and have fun anymore? “What do you want?”
Kijung shot him a death stare if Jungkook ever saw one. The guy couldn’t fucking stand him, and sometimes, Jungkook enjoyed knowing he got on his manager’s nerves. Eye for an eye, and all that. It just seemed fitting. “Where were you?”
“Does it matter, dude?”
“What do you mean, does it matter?” Kijung shook his head in frustration and even raised his tone, which wasn’t like him. “I’m your manager, of course it fucking matters. You guys just got into an accident and you think it’s okay for you to get lost for a day or two without notifying anyone?”
“Did I miss anything important?” Jungkook blinked a couple of times, trying to express just how annoying he found Kijung. “Don’t think so, there’s nothing on my schedule.”
“Yeah, you did, actually,” Kijung linked his arms across his chest. “Your mother couldn’t reach you, so she called. Call her back, idiot.”
Okay, Kijung was right about this, he was an idiot for not picking up when his mother called. When he saw the missed call, he immediately thought there was bad news on the other line and he couldn’t get himself to pick up or call her back. What if she told him something he didn’t want to hear?
“Anything else?” Jungkook said after gulping.
“Yes, we’re about to have a group meeting at the conference room,” Kijung informed him with a smirk. Oh, he loved catching Jungkook unprepared. “We were waiting for you to come back. You have a press conference later, so it’s time to prepare. See you downstairs in five.”
Jungkook barely made it through the conference. Their PR team was there, explaining the best thing to say, and Jungkook just didn’t care about any of it. Why were they rehearsing this shit instead of being honest about what happened? It wasn’t like Puddle of Love caused the accident so they had to cover their own tracks. They did nothing wrong, yet their team thought Puddle of Love members would mess something up if they used their own words when talking about the night of the car crash.
Even though the management informed the press not to ask questions about you, they went in on towards the end of the conference, once they got enough information on the accident. One of them asked a question, Kijung asked them to focus on the accident instead since that was the topic of the conversation, but it was like they couldn’t stay away from it.
Jungkook didn’t understand where this insane desire to know about every single detail of his life came from. Why did people care so much? He was seen with you and ever since then, his and your names were dragged all over the media. It came to a point where he couldn't even turn the TV on without seeing you two together in some form, and Jungkook hated it.
It was clear that neither one of you wanted to comment on it, so why did people have to keep prying?
It just made things worse, which is why, after an excruciating hour and a half of preparations and a half-hour conference, Jungkook sprang up to his room before anyone could ask him anything. He was done for the day. He wanted to go to bed and hoped this would all be over soon. He was also hoping he wouldn’t have to face another person for a day or two, until he felt better.
Of course, the second he stepped into the room, his phone rang.
The word “mother” flashed across his screen and Jungkook knew he couldn’t postpone the talk any longer, no matter how much he was dreading it. His behavior was childish—it was immature of him to even think like that. What did you tell him that time? That he should use all the time he can with his mother?
And here he was, trying to avoid her calls because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to deal with it. Could he never put the other person’s feelings first? He really did suck, Kijung was right about that.
“Hey, mom!” Jungkook put on his happy voice as he closed the door and plopped down on the bed, feeling like his head was about to explode because of the headache he had since the morning. “Is everything alright?”
“Don’t you “hey, mom,” me, young man,” his mother scoffed, the tone of her voice letting Jungkook know exactly how she felt about him trying to avoid her calls. “I’ve been worried sick since the accident! You told me you were going to update me on your condition and then you just disappeared.”
“Mom, please don’t worry about me,” Jungkook sighed, not understanding how someone with terminal cancer was out there worrying about an idiot like himself. He was clearly fine, just acting like a total tool. “Please. I’m fine.”
“I really don’t think you are,” his mother seemed adamant and he knew she wasn’t going to drop it anytime soon. “Maybe physically, yes.”
“Did you call me to practice your psychoanalytical skills or?” Jungkook couldn’t help but sound annoyed. He’d had a long day and really didn’t want to talk about his problem with his mom who had much bigger problems than him. “I don’t remember asking for that.”
“Well, sometimes you don’t ask for the things you need the most, do you?” She giggled happily like she just made a great point. In all honesty, she probably did, but that wasn’t going to change Jungkook’s mind. “Son, I’m worried about you. Is there any chance you can come home for a while?”
“No, mom, there isn’t,” Jungkook decided to be honest with her. “We still have responsibilities here and I can’t just bail out on everyone.”
His mother gulped loudly, which made her cough and that went on for a minute or two, all the while Jungkook listened and frowned. She wasn’t doing well, he knew without her admitting it. “Is there something I can do for you? Do you need anything? Are the staff treating you nicely? If someone’s being mean, just let me know.”
“Don’t worry about that, I’m as good as I can be,” she said, clearly not wanting to give out any more information. “Have you seen her?”
“Who?” Jungkook asked, unsure if he was following. When his mother said your name, he felt a lump form in his throat, so he had to clear it before speaking up again. Otherwise, she’d sense weakness and know what to ask. “No, I haven’t.”
“Why not?”
And here she went again, asking about the things Jungkook was trying to hide, asking about stuff that hurt the most. How did she always know what he was trying to avoid? His mother and Kijung had that in common, even though their intentions were different.
“There’s no point, you know that,” Jungkook cleared his throat again, hoping she’d drop it. “We’re both… Stuck in this crazy cycle of artist life. You know.”
“She didn’t seem stuck in this cycle when she came to visit me,” his mother pointed out, making his mind go back to the time when everything seemed so simple and sweet. You liked Jungkook back then and you had some kind of faith in him. At that time, you believed he could be the type of man you needed. Well, he proved you wrong real fast. “Nor when she risked her reputation going to the hospital to check up on you.”
Jungkook gulped loudly, completely forgetting that the entire world saw you two in the hospital that time he let you down and completely ruined everything. It wasn’t just him who could see the papers or watch it on TV. “Y-you saw that?”
“It was everywhere. Have you not been following the news?”
“I have, I just didn’t think it would get to you,” Jungkook admitted with a sigh. “Anyway, don’t get your hopes up, it’s over.”
“Over?” His mother repeated as if the idea was unbelievable. Sometimes, Jungkook wondered if his mother was in denial. She seemed to think he was this wonderful guy who had a rebel streak when he was in fact a total selfish douchebag who couldn’t do one thing right. Jungkook didn’t want to break her heart and tell her why you didn’t want anything to do with him, it would hurt her too much. “Really? How come? I thought you really cared about her.”
Now, those words hurt him. What did anyone know about Jungkook caring for others? At the end of the day, what was the fucking point? He couldn’t really make anything out of his care for people, clearly, or he wouldn’t be where he was. What did it even matter? He fucked up, he ruined everything with you, and his mother just wouldn’t be able to understand it.
“I don’t care about anyone,” Jungkook blurted the words out angrily.
“Jeon Jungkook,” she said before making a “tsk” sound which made Jungkook feel like he was back in school, getting reprimanded for skipping class. So, he quickly went back to the disgusting habit he picked up during that period and lit a cigarette, hoping it would calm him down. “You can sell that story to your friends, bandmates, even the manager, but not to me. I’m your mother, I know you, whether you like it or not. I’m worried about you because I can see you’re hurt.”
“You haven’t seen me,” Jungkook chuckled. She was right about everything, but she was just guessing, and Jungkook didn’t want to give her any more reasons to worry. The long puff he took eased his nerves, even if for a second.
“Oh, so it wasn’t you who left the party with two women last night?” She asked, shaming Jungkook instantly.
Did he get caught last night? Probably.
He was high, he didn’t care who saw him leaving with the girls. His fans wouldn’t care. In fact, they’d think Jungkook’s so fucking cool for getting so many women. However, in the state he was in yesterday, he completely forgot about the people who knew him that would see his behavior end up on the news, like his mother, or you. He took two or three puffs in a row, feeling anxious—he didn’t want to talk about this.
His mother waited for a second for him to answer, but Jungkook didn’t, so she went on. “Or with a bunch of them the night before that? That wasn’t my son on the news? Thank God.”
“I…” Jungkook started but stopped instantly. He didn’t know what to tell her. Yeah, that was him. He was an embarrassment and a son that would never make her proud or happy, clearly. What else was there to say? He didn’t want to lie to her or give her excuses. His mother deserved so much more than that and the guilt was starting to eat him alive.
“Jungkook, son,” his mother gulped, which made Jungkook’s heart hurt. Why was he worrying her this much when she was in this state? What kind of a piece of shit does that? He took a long puff again, hoping to feel calmer, but nothing seemed to be working, other than making his mind go completely blank. “I’m scared of what you’re going to do when I… When I’m no longer here.”
“Mom, let’s please not have this conversation today,” Jungkook asked, feeling like he was about to start begging her. He couldn’t face this. The day was shit since the very beginning, his head was pulsing and he felt sick to his stomach. Jungkook could not have that conversation today, not today. It was something he was refusing to face. You were the only person he talked to about this, and that was over too, so he fucked himself in that respect too.
“It’s not a conversation, I don’t have any news,” she sighed before continuing, and Jungkook could tell she was sad and worried, which made him feel even more like shit. “I’m just telling you what’s on my mind. I’m scared that you’re not happy and that you’ll be in an even worse state then and that there won’t be anyone around you to help you. That is, if you keep pushing people away. That girl really cares about you, you know? Who would come see your old dying mother if they didn’t? So don’t ruin that.”
“I already did,” Jungkook said, deciding not to touch on all the other points she made because they hurt too much. He wanted to believe she wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon because that made things easier for him. “I told you, she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I know you like her, I do too, but that’s that.”
“And you’re okay with that?” Her question took Jungkook by surprise.
“I don’t have a choice.”
“Did she make this decision because she stopped having feelings for you or because you let her down?” His mother asked a question he didn’t want to answer, once again hitting the nail on the head.
“What do you think?” Jungkook scoffed, stubbing the cigarette. The damn thing wasn’t working at all.
“I think that’s the better option, even if it doesn’t seem like it. There’s hope.”
“Mom… I don’t want to disappoint you, but… She meant it,” Jungkook cleared his throat as he tried to explain what happened without going into too much detail. “I let her down. There’s nothing I can do to make her trust me again.”
“I think changing is a good start,” his mother suggested with a giggle. “Try not going out with so many different women and making a fool out of yourself, I think that would also help tremendously.”
Jungkook scoffed. If only that were that easy. His mom just couldn’t get what happened between the two of you, what kind of a relationship you had, and how he fucked it up.
It took Jungkook such a long time to even get you to consider giving him a chance. It could have worked, Jungkook used to think so, at least. You two could have been great together. All that work for nothing. He managed to fuck it up because of a single joint. One fucking joint and it was all over. How could his mother ever understand that?
“I’m sorry I’m talking about this, I can tell you don’t want to discuss it and while I do want to respect your wishes, I don’t really know how many conversations we’re going to get,” she made a really good point, which made Jungkook’s heart ache so much that he couldn’t even respond. He couldn’t face losing her. What the fuck would he have left? “And I really don’t want to die knowing you’re unhappy. If I knew you’ve found your place in life, it would be much easier to accept… It all.”
“Please, don't say that. Nothing will happen to you. You’re going to make it.”
“Will you, son?”
Jungkook felt terrible. His heart sank to his feet, his stomach hurt, and he felt like breaking down. The woman on the other side of the phone was the only person who loved him in the entire world, who knew him well, and she was going through the worst moments of her life and still, she worried about him more than she did herself. What kind of a fucked up son does shit like this to his dying mother? He really was the lowest of low.
“I will,” Jungkook finally mustered up the courage to speak up. “Don’t worry about me. Worry about getting better so I can take you to the theatre when I’m back. Or even dancing, what do you think?”
“That sounds like a plan, Jungkook. My nurse is here, so I have to go now. Please take care of yourself, eat well, and get enough rest. And try not to embarrass her by being seen with all these women, will you? It will be hard for her to forgive you otherwise, even if you find your way, which I know you will.”
“Okay, mom. Don’t worry about it.”
“I love you, Jungkook, and I miss you.”
Jungkook didn’t get up from bed when his mother hung up. He just didn't have the strength for that. Instead, he lay there and stared at the ceiling. When Jungkook felt hot tears streaming down the sides of his face, he grunted at himself and got up, wiping them away with his sleeves.
No, he couldn’t break down now. That wasn’t an option. He did all of this to himself. His mom was sick and he wasn’t there for her because he was weak. The last time Jungkook saw her, he only went because you went with him and your support meant a lot. Jungkook couldn’t do it on his own, he knew that.
Why was he so alone and pathetic? Because he managed to fuck everything up. He chased you away, and you were the only person who really got him. You, and his mother, but he couldn’t worry her with anything. Man, even his mother was dead sick worrying about him while he was out partying and getting high out of his mind. Jungkook’s head and chest hurt and he felt sick to his stomach, so he ran to the bathroom, just in time to throw up in the toilet and not all over the floor.
Once he was done, Jungkook brushed his teeth and decided to go out. There was no way he was going to stay inside and feel sorry for himself. There were people out there who were starving and dying, and he could have anything he wanted. Jungkook had no right to feel sorry for himself.
Yeah, he fucked it all up. So what? It wasn’t like this thing with you was going to work anyway. You’d get tired of his mess sooner or later, and he’d be in the same place as he was then. Why not go out and make himself feel better? If he stayed inside, these thoughts would end up eating him alive, and he couldn’t handle that, not now.
The next morning, Jungkook woke up in the hotel bedroom, his mind drawing blanks when he tried to remember what happened last night. Where did he go, what did he do? What would he read on social media about himself today? Even worse, what would his mom read? What would you see that would make you more certain about your decision?
Jungkook did remember going out and running into Taehyung at some club, but that was about it. He was pissed off with himself and the entire world, which is why he needed to get high and forget all about it. The girls who worked at the club hooked him up, like always, and one of them wanted to hook him up with some other things, which he didn’t say no to, not last night. Jungkook needed a fucking break.
That’s how he ended up in some seedy room at the back of the club with the girl blowing him while he kicked his head back and enjoyed it. It felt good for a while, to have someone’s mouth on his dick, to feel someone’s touch and breath on him, to imagine she was you. If he closed his eyes and thought of you, it almost felt like it was you, and he wanted to touch and feel you. But, she was being too noisy and her voice wasn’t anything like yours, so it ruined his fantasy.
“Could you keep your voice down?” Jungkook asked, not even feeling bad about his request. This girl didn’t give a fuck about him, so she wouldn’t care about it.
She hummed in agreement and went back to deepthroating, so Jungkook closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the couch, imagining your face and trying to combine your face and the mouth around his cock hoping it would somehow feel real.
The drugs in his system helped him relax and calm down, not think about bad things, not feel guilty… All Jungkook felt at that point was excitement. His heart was beating loud and he just wanted to touch someone, fuck them hard, feel their hands on him. It was the drugs, though, because he never felt like that.
Or maybe it was the fact that Jungkook was trying to think about you sucking him off, and all of those things were stuff he wanted to do with you. In fact, they were things he could have done with you, if it weren’t for the fucking drugs.
If Jungkook just didn’t say yes to that fucking joint that night, this could have been the two of you, without all the alcohol and drugs and the stuffy room and weird people around. He could have been with you back at the villa, having the time of his life, getting to touch and kiss and possibly fuck you. His cock twitched at the idea of getting to be that close to you. God, he wanted all of it so bad, and he couldn’t have it because of his own fuckups, which was so annoying.
Why was he such a weak man? The girl started playing with his balls, but it stopped feeling good the second he started to remember the night of the accident and that look on your face when you realized he was high. What a fucking tool. He got high that night.
What he should have done was let his band go out and have fun. Jungkook should have gone to see you and spend the night with you instead. Wouldn’t that feel immensely better than the way it turned out?
It was too late, of course. Jungkook had let you down one too many times and you weren’t an idiot. You weren’t the type of girl who’d let men walk all over her if they paid her some attention. No, you knew what you deserved, and you knew Jungkook just couldn’t give it to you.
“Is everything okay, baby?” The girl asked, pulling away from his cock.
Jungkook didn’t get what she meant—was she able to read his mind or was he just that high that he was saying all this shit out loud? Then, he looked down and realized that his cock was completely flaccid.
How fucking embarrassing, he couldn’t even get it up anymore. Served him right for being a jerk.
A couple of minutes later, Jungkook was back at the bar, ordering himself another drink. He couldn’t even have sex to make himself feel better because he kept thinking about you.
After that, he remembered seeing Taehyung, and that was about it.
In fact, he did remember fucking someone in the bathroom. It wasn’t a clear scene, he couldn’t remember all of it from start to finish, but he remember the dark bathroom stall, the girl holding onto the wall with her ass perked up, Jungkook fucking her from behind, loud music filling his ear, his heart beating fast. Jungkook didn’t really remember enjoying it, but did that matter? It was fun at that moment, it beat staying in his room thinking about what a fuckup he was.
So, when Jungkook woke up, he logged onto Reddit and found a subreddit dedicated to him, where people posted anything related to Jungkook, including social media posts and news. Jungkook didn’t visit it that often, but he couldn’t stop lately, not after being seen with you. For some reason, he wanted to see what people had to say about the two of you. It was a form of self-torture, he guessed, a fitting punishment for all his crimes.
Of course, the top new post was one about the two of you and a picture from that night at the hospital from one of the photographers. The second most popular post was one about a statement your company issued, which Jungkook knew nothing about. The original poster asked Redditors if they thought you two were actually together.
“All these incel JK stans really want them to be together as if they can live their creepy fantasies through him, gross”
“Yeah, some of the things these guys write about Dawn is DISTURBING to say the least”
“Not our fault she is pretending to be sweet and innocent, she knows exactly what she’s doing with that look”
“Yeah, not showing her body or acting provocative in any way to avoid comments from creepy ass dudes like yourself”
“Y’all really hate on women for anything these days”
That was true, Jungkook had to agree. Some of these men wrote such nasty things that he felt sick to his stomach reading them. The comments always somehow managed to drag him in, so he kept reading until he found something about him, something that would prove to him what kind of a loser he was.
“Dawn’s management said they worked together on some songs, that’s all there is to it, I don’t know why everyone’s reading into it so much”
“Except she’s never been seen hugging a guy in public ever. I’ve been a fan for years and I’ve been here through all the rumors… I’ve never seen a pic of her hugging a man or being that close to someone. She looked really scared for this dude, so I think there’s something there, sadly. Don’t think he’s right for her in any way, shape, or form. She has the most famous guys lining up to be with her and this is her choice? Sad, but I stan and support her choices.”
“Girl, Jungkook’s pictured with a different woman whenever he goes out 💀 but keep reaching”
“Right!? Dawn chose him MY ASS”
“Why do such nice girls always go for such lowlife creeps? If this dude weren’t famous, no one would give him the time of day”
“Wtf are you on about!? I’d drop my entire life if he asked me to”
“Get help freak”
“Wait lmao you guys really think Dawn would hook up with Jungkook out of all these guys? Yeah right 🤡”
“the fact that people think she’s with Jungkook after going to POL concert with JOOHEON, the hottest man in rock these days… the delusion”
“these stans are really grasping at straws here trying to make it seem like dawn and jungkook are anywhere near the same level”
“I don’t think they’re together because he’s an addict and, based on the way he acts whenever he’s out in public, a total sleaze who can’t keep his dick in his pants. Granted, we’d all probably be tempted in his position, but the guy’s been at it for over a year. I don’t see how any woman would put up with it, honestly, especially not someone who cares about their public image as much as Dawn does. Jungkook is trouble and I follow this sub mostly to see what the fuck he’s up to now because I know he’ll crash and burn.”
“And how would you know about that? You seem a bit too invested, my man, just saying”
“I think there’s something weird going on but she deserves waaaaay better”
“True, the fact that they refused to answer questions about Jungkook and Dawn at the conference was weird, and this statement also seems strange. Why are we just now hearing about them working on their albums together? Seems sus”
“No way in hell someone like Dawn would see anything in Jungkook, other than temporary fun”
“I agree. We’ve all fucked a bad boy or two, but we don’t end up with them for a reason”
“I think it’s the other way around… she’s boring as fuck”
“JK is a fucking drug addict and I don’t know why anyone’s giving him any publicity… He deserves to be canceled and fall off before he ruins the band, and not praised for the shit that he keeps doing”
“Puddle used to be my favorite band but this asshole just keeps fucking shit up for them all”
“Kyubok, we miss you”
They were all right, and Jungkook knew it.
He was a drug addict, he was a guy who didn't care about women and had sex whenever he felt like it. Jungkook was also a guy whose mother was dying. Instead of being there for her, he was getting high every day and just hoping to wish the cancer away, like a total idiot. Pair that with the fact that you decided to cut off all contact with him, and Jungkook really had nothing going for him.
Jungkook ordered room service but threw up the toast as soon as he took the first bite. He couldn’t stand food, his head felt heavy, and it was all a blur. Maybe it was better that way. It beat facing reality.
As if he was looking for a way to hurt himself even more, Jungkook logged onto Reddit again, looking for new posts on his subreddit, dying to hear just how much people hated him. He couldn’t help but wonder how they’d react if they knew how terrible he actually was, if they knew about his mother’s problems and how he was avoiding her, or how he fucked everything up with you.
It hurt but at the same time felt good to see that people were onto him. They knew Jungkook was a terrible person and that he didn’t deserve the fame. The latest top post was about Jungkook leaving that party with those two girls, all of them looking wasted, to say the least.
“I’m sorry, but Jungkook is a total leech. The dude gets the chance of a lifetime and does this with it?? POL must be really embarrassed”
“He could be doing literally anything in the world, like practicing for their performances, chilling, or recovering. Instead, he continues to go out, get drunk and high, and act this way? Man, POL really need to get rid of him”
“LMAO like he ever practices… his voice cracks more than a 15-year-old’s 🙄”
“Jeon can’t-hit-a-note-to-save-his-life Jungkook strikes again 💀”
“I bet Kyubok’s laughing so hard about POL’s downfall without him”
“I thought their downfall started when Kyubok left… Little did I know this asshole would join the band”
“The only reason he’s still a part of POL is that there’s so many dumb bitches like Dawn that blindly support this guy and buy his shitty merch and follow him on socials, so the company things he’s their new golden goose”
“Everything about his dude is mediocre, including his taste in women”
“These girls are also such idiots for doing this, what an embarrassment”
“Imagine thinking you’re cool for fucking Jungkook, who’d literally fuck just about anyone 💀💀💀💀”
“They got their face in the papers, that’s all that matters”
“Brace yourselves for numerous tiktoks about what it’s like to fuck this asshole 💀”
“I’m kind of sick and tired of all of you pretending you wouldn’t fuck him if you got the chance!!”
“Why do I feel this is just a stunt to divert our attention from that Dawn picture?”
“I hate that boring bitch but I have to agree with you. They were just in a car accident and he’s already out partying and hooking up with girls? Please, who’d buy this story!? Nobody’s that wild, not even JK 💀💀💀”
“Omg NO, just NO… Dawn and Jungkook? 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Really? That girl is so irrelevant, I can’t believe you can’t see this is some sort of a promo for her”
“There’s no fucking way JK would be into her… Her stans are deluded 🤡 in thinking she’s in any way better than him or that she has a chance”
“I’m so happy finally someone agrees”
“She’s so desperate for attention! POL ends up in the hospital and she finds a way to make it all about herself !!! someone come get that clown 🤡🤡”
The comments about you hurt Jungkook a lot more than those about himself, mostly because they were completely untrue. These people didn’t know the first thing about you yet felt so free to say such horrible stuff about you. If anything, he was the one who chased you. You didn’t give a flying fuck about Jungkook and he barely managed to convince you to give him a chance. Of course, he blew it.
Did you ever find comments like these? Jungkook hoped not. He couldn’t imagine you reading this shit. Not everyone was as masochistic as him. Other people in the industry didn’t give a shit about what some random people online said about them. Still, it could happen.
Instead of continuing with this torture, Jungkook called Kijung. It was late, but his manager was up—he always was. Something had to be done about this whole situation.
The next couple of days seemed like a complete blur to Jungkook. He just knew that he hadn’t spent more than an hour in his hotel room. Jungkook went out, slept in hotels, on other people’s sofas, fucked random women, drank with total strangers, did drugs in club bathrooms, and spent a shit ton of money. Oh, and of course, he didn’t call his mother to check up on her.
She probably saw him out partying, the pictures were everywhere. The last scandal was especially embarrassing—Jungkook somehow lost his shirt at the club. He was sure the woman he had sex with took it and was going to sell it online to the highest bidder. Still, Jungkook left the club shirtless, and the media had a field day. The thought of his mother seeing these pictures made him sick.
Then, Kijung did another stakeout and waited for Jungkook to return to his room just to inform him they had to attend an award party the next day and that Jungkook had to be sober and look presentable. Now, that day was torture, but he knew he had to stay clean and not take drugs or drink alcohol. He was walking on thin ice and didn’t want to fall in, not just yet.
Since he didn't want to do anything else, Jungkook asked Taehyung to come to his room and work on some music with him. It beat better than being alone, because Jungkook’s thoughts always took him to the same place, a place he didn't want to be at right then.
“Man, no offense, but you look like crap and this place smells,” Taehyung said disgustedly and walked over to open every possible window in the room as soon as he walked in. “Before we work, clean up a bit, will you?”
Seeing no other option, Jungkook did what Taehyung asked of him, appreciating the fact that his older bandmate decided to help him out. A while later, they sat down and Taehyung gave him a worried look. Not him, too.
“I don’t want to be that guy and I know Kijung’s been harassing you lately, but… What’s wrong, man?” He asked, looking sincerely worried about Jungkook, and Jungkook hated that. He didn't want people to worry about him.
Jungkook took a deep breath and shook his head. “Nothing. Everything. I don’t know, man. I just fuck everything up, so I have to deal with it.”
“Then don’t fuck this up,” Taehyung shrugged and said it in a chirpy tone as if it was easy to completely change overnight, learn to face reality, and get your life together. “Don’t even think about drinking or doing drugs tomorrow and you won’t mess anything up.”
“Except at the after-party?” Jungkook looked at Taehyung with a cocked-up eyebrow before bursting into laughter, but Taehyung didn’t find it funny.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t,” he cleared his throat, and Jungkook knew it meant Taehyung was serious. Of course, why wouldn’t everyone except Jungkook enjoy their night? “Everyone will, sure, but if you’re that fucked up, maybe it’s not the best time. You know that drugs drag you from a bad to an even worse place when you’re going through it. Why risk it?”
Jungkook nodded slowly and then sighed, realizing that everyone around him really did think he was a loser who couldn’t control any of his urges. In other words, they knew him well.
“Is it because of Dawn?”
Jungkook’s head snapped in Taehyung’s direction when he heard the question. How did Taeyhung know about this? Jungkook tried so hard not to make people figure it out, even after you were seen together. He’d never be able to really explain it. People would jump to conclusions and think there was something sexual going on and, unfortunately, there really wasn’t.
“What!?” Taehyung chuckled and patted Jungkook’s shoulder. “Do you think I didn’t notice the way you two always had breakfast together and sneaked off to the pavilion whenever you could? The girl didn’t look at you twice when you first met, and couldn’t keep her eyes off of you after. Plus, all the songwriting you two did? The way you danced at the party? It’s obvious.”
“Nothing happened, Tae,” Jungkook wanted to sound as adamant as possible. If rumors spread about you two having sexual contact, your reputation would be ruined, and that was the last thing you deserved. His head was starting to hurt and he hoped he didn’t fuck everything up for you. “I swear.”
“But you wish it did, don’t you?”
When they first met, Jungkook thought Taehyung was the most uninterested person ever. He always seemed to be in a good mood, tried to make everyone feel better, and just went through life believing the best of people. It always seemed like he didn’t understand any drama, and didn’t know what was going on with people. However, as they got to know each other better, Jungkook realized that Taehyung noticed a lot more than he let on, but chose to let people live their lives without interfering. In other words, he played dumb.
“Yeah,” Jungkook admitted with a sigh, finally looking his friend in the eye. There was no point in lying to Taehyung—Jungkook was sure he’d made it pretty obvious he was into you. He ignored everyone except you that summer and didn’t really feel the need to talk to his bandmates, either. They had to notice.
“I don’t mean to sound rude or anything, but… She’s way out of your league,” Taehyung grimaced, looking like he was hoping the observation didn’t hurt Jungkook, but Jungkook was already aware of it. “I don’t mean looks or anything like that, you’ve got charm. It’s just that she’s a lot more serious of a person than you are. More mature, let’s say.”
“We’re around the same age,” Jungkook felt the need to stand up for himself, even though he knew Taehyung was right.
“Yeah, but you don’t act like it…” Taehyung cocked his head to the side, knowing he had a point. “I mean, she has her shit together. You, my friend, just don’t. You’ve been acting like a mess lately, and I know you’re the type of person who needs to crash and burn before getting it together, but… I’m scared of that happening. I don’t know just how much you’ll burn before getting it together. I’m sure Dawn’s aware of this.”
“Don’t worry, dude, I know where I stand,” Jungkook said, grabbing hold of the guitar.
He has never spoken about you to anyone, other than Ted, but Jungkook hasn’t seen him in a long time. What was there to say, anyway? Ted would just tell him to get his shit together, to start writing shit down in a diary, to talk to friends and family, to do things that he liked, and Jungkook couldn’t even name a single thing he liked doing that wasn’t terrible for him.
There was no point in seeing Ted anymore, and nobody else would understand what happened between the two of you. So, Taehyung didn’t know the first thing about you, and Jungkook wasn’t about to explain it.
“You know she’s going to be there tomorrow, right?” Taehyung cocked his head to the side and gave Jungkook a big grin.
You would? A spark lit up inside Jungkook—he’d get to see you. But, his mood quickly turned sour when he remembered how you left things off. There was no way he’d even get to talk to you, let alone anything else. And that would fucking hurt. “I, I didn’t know.”
“Well, I think you should be sober tomorrow when we run into her. It will look better,” Taehyung smiled at Jungkook warmly, as if he was trying to encourage his friend to stay sober. “She seems to like you, so I don’t see how else you could ruin this.”
“Oh, trust me, there are ways,” Jungkook scoffed, realizing he’s really been a total tool, but it was too late. Taehyung didn’t know it, but Jungkook did. He had his chance and he blew it.
“We’ll see tomorrow!”
And see, they did.
Jungkook did his best to stay completely sober. Then, the rest of the guys wanted to make a toast. Actually, Kijung did, so Jungkook took a shot too, not wanting people to think he didn’t want to join in because Kijung made the toast. People knew the two couldn’t stand each other, but Jungkook didn’t want to encourage the rumors. However, that’s when he stopped drinking. Taehyung was right—you’d be there too, and he didn’t want you to see him acting like a fool in person. Jungkook knew you hated seeing him wasted, so he didn’t want to put you through that, not again.
He wasn’t in the best of moods because even if you were coming, nothing would happen. You no longer had faith in him, and Jungkook knew that was the most important thing to you. You didn’t want to be with someone who lied to you, and Jungkook did. He told you he wouldn’t use anything, and then smoked weed hours before he was supposed to see you. Only an addict would do that, that was true. But, it was too late now, it was all lost. You had one condition for him and he fucked it all up, so there was no point in getting his hopes up. The most he could hope for was a quick “hello” in passing, nothing more, and even that was more than he actually deserved from you.
So, when he saw you arriving with Jooheon, Jungkook’s heart dropped to his stomach. Were those assholes on Reddit right all along? They’ve been talking about you and Jooheon being a thing for months now, and Jungkook hated the idea. Then, he saw the rest of Red Peaches walking behind you two as you all made your way towards your assigned table and felt like a fool for jumping to conclusions, but your closeness with Jooheon stung.
The reason behind that was that Jooheon was someone you weren’t ashamed to be seen with in public. You even walked into the hall with him, knowing everyone’s eyes would be on you, knowing the media outside would jump on the story and put you two on the cover, sparking even more rumors. Maybe that was your company’s way of trying to get rid of the rumors about you and Jungkook, because everyone knew those rumors could be detrimental to your career, and that’s what hurt him.
Jungkook made such a mockery of himself that people like you couldn’t afford to be associated with him. Their fans would think less of them, their reputation would go down the drain, people would think they have no self-respect, which is what they always said about the girls Jungkook was caught with on a night out. Of course you wouldn’t want to be publicly associated with someone like Jungkook. What would people think of you? But, you could be seen with Jooheon. In fact, Andre seemed ecstatic about the idea.
That’s all that kept running through Jungkook’s mind as he watched you take a seat, Jooheon and Andre on each side of you, making it impossible for Jungkook to come sit down next to you and say hi. Even if one of the guys got up, the other one would definitely overhear any conversation that would happen, and Jungkook knew you wouldn’t like that. What happened between the two of you was private, and Jungkook wouldn’t mention it in front of others.
Then, Jooheon said something funny, and the three of you laughed. You chuckled so heartily that you had to cover your mouth and look away, and Jungkook felt his heart hurt. You used to laugh like that when you two hung out at the pavilion, back when he felt like you were the only two people in the world that mattered. How did Jungkook fuck it up? How did he ruin the whole thing? You really cared for him back then. Or did you? Even if you did, you didn’t anymore, that much was clear.
Jungkook couldn’t help but notice how you didn’t even glance his way. Did you really not care that he was there? Did you not want to even see him, let alone talk to him? Or did you already manage to forget all about him? The thought upset Jungkook a lot more than he thought it would. Why? Was it because he was still stuck on all of it?
“Taehyung, pour me one too,” he said, handing his empty glass to his friend. If he was going to be forced to sit here the entire night and watch you have fun, he’d have to get drunk, at least.
“Erm…” Taehyung looked around, uncertain of whether that was smart since Kijung was right there, and then grimaced at Jungkook. “Are you sure?”
“Dude. I’m sure,” Junkook scoffed, which meant he wasn’t going to have this discussion with Taehyung right then, so the older bandmate gave in and poured Jungkook a glass of wine, which was gone in the next five minutes while Jungkook watched you talk to Red Peaches members and be yourself.
You could never talk to Jungkook that way, in a public place, in front of everyone. Andre would never allow it. The dude hated the sight of Jungkook, let alone seeing him around you. That was his own fault, though, not Jooheon or any of the other guys. They were just nice people who were allowed to be seen around you, who didn’t damage your reputation, or make you get a shit ton of hate online.
Jungkook couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened had he not been high the night of the accident as he drank his second glass of wine and stared at you. A part of him thought this could have been him. If that night played out differently, Jungkook could have been your date for the award show, he could have been in Jooheon’s place, talking and laughing with you, getting all your attention. He could have been the one who got to go home with you, sleep next to you, sleep with you, and the very thought of that made him nervous. He needed a cigarette, bad.
Another part of him told him it was all a lie, so Jungkook asked for another drink, earning a glare from Kijung, but Jungkook didn’t care. Three drinks were nothing in his world, and they all knew it. He’d never get to be by your side publicly, he’d never be that type of guy. He just fucked some random girls the other day and couldn’t remember a single thing about them yet he had the nerve to think he’d ever be good enough for you. Why would you ever humiliate yourself like that for a dude like him? His mother was right about everything, as usual.
The entire night was a shitshow and Jungkook regretted coming, but the worst part of it was realizing you and Red Peaches would be performing together, which meant you and Jooheon would sing to each other and interact on stage and Jungkook felt like he was about to combust.
The feeling got even worse when he watched Jooheon sing, unable to take his eyes off of you. The fact that everyone cheered and loved the song hurt even more because Jungkook knew it would be everywhere. He’d be forced to see gifs or clips of this performance everywhere online and see people root for you and Jooheon.
He drank at least three glasses of wine during the performance and another one right after, to get over it. Jimin gave him a concerned look, Namjoon handed him a bottle of water to show that it was time to stop drinking, and Kijung just kept staring in that way Jungkook hated.
Thankfully, the award show ended two hours later, and it was time to go to the afterparty, which Jungkook wasn’t going to miss. What was the alternative, going back to his hotel room and thinking about you not even looking his way? You were clearly over him. While Jungkook hated the thought, he admired you for being so adamant and for standing your ground. You did tell him you’d never forgive lying, and that’s exactly what happened. He lied and you got over him.
Now, the party was a blur.
As always, one of the most popular celebs at the award show was in charge of throwing the party and inviting practically all attendees, so nobody wanted to miss it. The party was held in a huge mansion and pictures and videos were strictly forbidden. Basically, it was a place where rich and famous people could get as drunk and high as they wanted, and nobody would rat them out. It wasn’t a place you’d attend, surely, but it was exactly the type of place Jungkook enjoyed. It was his second time, and the first one was also a blur.
Because of the type of party it was, Jungkook found it extremely easy to get some high-quality stuff from someone he trusted. He told himself he wouldn’t, but he really needed it badly. The alcohol wasn’t doing that much for Jungkook, except to make him depressed. The more he drank, the more he realized just how much he’s managed to fuck his life up and that’s not something he wanted to deal with.
Half an hour later after getting high, Jungkook felt like he was on top of the world. The alcohol suddenly hit him just right and Jungkook felt like he could drink liters and not get wasted, not have his mood ruined. Nothing mattered. His whole body buzzed, his head was clear but dizzy at the same time like he was walking on clouds, and he was so sensitive to touch. Whenever he’d brush against a person he was walking past, their touch would feel amazing, and Jungkook just wanted to be around people.
It was time to dance and get lost in the music. His bandmates seemed to get the same idea, because Jungkook ran into Taehyung and Jimin on the dancefloor with a bunch of other celebrities, and they seemed a lot more cheerful than at the award show, suspiciously so. Thankfully, Kijung wasn’t there. He never came to these things because he knew there were things he just couldn’t control, like any of his band members. Besides, it was a private party. Nobody would try to sell these stories tomorrow, so everyone got a bit loose.
Things became an even bigger blur once Jungkook got on the dance floor and started dancing with random girls. He liked the attention, he couldn’t lie. The thing is, Jungkook couldn’t even see their faces right or recognize these women, but the fact that they all wanted to dance with him, that each one of them found a way to touch him inappropriately to show him he could get them alone stroked his bruised ego. When one of the women grabbed his cock over his suit pants, Jungkook suddenly thought about you and Jooheon—did you go home together? Were you touching Jooheon the way this woman touched him?
After that thought, Jungkook couldn’t relax anymore, and he didn’t want anyone to touch him.
Instead of hanging around the dancefloor, Jungkook made his way to the bar, where he ran into Jenna, a girl band member who always talked about him in interviews. Whenever he saw her, Jungkook was reminded of just how much he wished you would talk about him the way she did. Jenna always made it clear that Jungkook was her crush, she commented on his appearance, performances, and style, and most of her fans lived for the idea of the two of them getting it on. He was the bad boy of the rock scene at the moment, she was a bad girl who could be sweet when she tried, and people just saw you together.
“Fancy seeing you here,” Jenna joked as she pulled him in for a hug, and Jungkook really didn’t understand why she would do that. He was sweaty, he could feel sweat drip down the sides of his face, and his shirt sticking to his back and stomach, but none of it mattered, not to Jenna, anyway.
“Where else would we see each other?” Jungkook frowned and then waved at the bartender to get his attention.
He didn’t appreciate her straightforwardness because he simply wasn’t interested, and he believed he’d always made it clear. Jungkook knew that if he ever fucked Jenna, she’d talk about it forever, and he didn’t want that, which is why he turned her down whenever she tried anything. The only places they saw each other were award shows and afterparties, so her statement made no sense.
“Anywhere if you give me a call,” she grinned, clearly not getting that he wasn’t interested this time either. “Want a drink?”
“Yeah, but this guy just doesn’t see me,” Jungkook shook his head and tried waving again, but to no avail.
The room was spinning, his heart was racing, and he felt so fucking sad it hurt. If he were alone, he’d probably bang his head against the wall to get rid of the feeling in his chest, but he was at a fucking party, high, drunk, in a room filled with people, but he felt so fucking alone. What was he even doing there?
“Have some of mine,” Jenna offered Jungkook her drink and he took a big gulp before returning it.
“Thanks. What the fuck is this guy doing?”
Jenna placed both hands on the bar and jumped up, using her hands to prop herself up against it and lean forward so she got a better view. SHe was also wearing a very short dress and her leaning over the counter revealed that she was wearing very skimpy underwear. Would you ever wear something as revealing as that? Jungkook’s mind immediately wandered to places it shouldn’t have.
Then, Jenna spoke. “Oh, he’s serving Dawn.”
“He’s what?” Jungkook asked in complete disbelief before doing the same thing as Jenna so he could see for himself.
Lo and behold, you were there, alone, getting shots from the bartender. Jungkook watched you hand him the money, down two shots, and sigh. Then, your gazes met and you looked at him like he was the most disgusting person that ever lived, probably because Jenna had her hands on his chest, and then you turned around and left.
By the time Jungkook made his way through the crowd and reached the other side of the bar, you were gone. He had to find you. He had to know what you were doing here, why you were drinking so much, and why you didn’t even say hi to him, but he didn’t know where to look.
Jungkook grabbed the first familiar person he saw and asked them if they saw you. The guy shook his head and gave Jungkook a look that made him feel crazy. Still, Jungkook didn’t stop, not until he ran into Changkyun, who told him you went upstairs.
“Upstairs?” Jungkook repeated, hoping you weren’t up there with some other guy. What if fucking Jooheon was waiting for you up there? What if you were sleeping with Jooheon? For some reason, the thought hurt Jungkook. He wasn’t angry or anything, he didn't have the right.
But, even if you were, there was nothing he could have done about it. This was all his fault.
Still, Jungkook wanted to hear it from you, so he made his way upstairs, but couldn’t find you anywhere. He opened every unlocked door but didn’t find you inside of any of the rooms. He banged on some that were closed, but the people inside wanted privacy and nobody opened the door. If you were locked in one of the rooms with Jooheon or someone else, he’d never know, and that upset him. He wanted to know, at least. Maybe it would be easier to get over it all if he knew you were already seeing someone else.
Even that idea was ridiculous—you were never seeing him in the first place. You have every right to meet up with any guy you want.
Then, Jungkook remembered that you hate crowded places and that you maybe needed some fresh air, so he tried to check the balconies. The first room was a miss, the second one was locked, the third wasn’t, but there was no one on the balcony. A couple of rooms later, he opened the balcony door and found you staring into the night, leaning against the balustrade in complete silence, alone.
Jungkook took a step towards you after closing the door behind him, but he stopped, unsure of what to say. What if you were waiting for someone else? Maybe you really didn’t want to see him or to talk to him, and he was trying to force you to have a conversation by following you up to the balcony.
The rational part of his brain was fizzling out, and the part that remained wanted to feel you, hug you, touch you, smell that fresh and sweet scent of your skin and hair, hold you close, have your body near him. Jungkook wanted it all so much but knew he just couldn’t have it.
As if you knew it was Jungkook without even looking, you asked a question. “What do you think is your life’s calling?”
You didn’t turn around to face him, you didn’t address him by his name, but somehow, Jungkook knew you knew it was him. Who else would you be having this type of conversation with? Unless… No, you couldn’t have that kind of a relationship with someone else so soon. Or could you? Jungkook wasn't a very special dude. In fact, the only time he felt special was that summer when he went out to the pavilion with you and felt like someone got him.
Since Jungkook didn’t respond, you clarified further, still not turning around to check if it was even him. You just knew. “What do you think you’re here to do? What’s the thing you do that makes you really happy and fulfilled?”
“I…” Jungkook spoke up, but his voice sounded so weak and child-like that he had to stop and take a deep breath. He couldn’t fuck this up, not again, not after everything. “I’m not sure.”
“I think mine is to help people,” you explained, still staring right ahead, not even glancing at him, which made Jungkook feel really small.
Still, he took a couple of steps towards you and stopped once he reached the balustrade himself, placing his palms on it. If he weren’t high and if you two weren’t acting like strangers, it would have felt like your nights back at the pavilion.
You continued, “I try to help everyone whenever I can, even if it means walking all over myself. I feel bad for others, not because I think I’m better or superior, but just because I hate to see people suffering. When I help people, I feel like I’m me. That’s the real me. It’s not a fake personality I put on, not this fake goody-two-shoes persona that doesn’t exist. That’s me.”
Jungkook took a deep breath again, feeling his head spinning and his heart racing. He wanted to reach out and hug you so badly but knew he just couldn’t. “Mine is… Maybe performing. That’s the only time I feel like I’m doing something right, nowadays. But I suck at that, so,” he scoffed, feeling really pathetic about his confession. “Why are you thinking about this?”
“Because of you,” you said, turning to the side to face him, which is when Jungkook realized your eyes were filled with tears. What happened to you?
“I… I don’t get it. Are you okay?”
“I shouldn’t want to help you,” you said with a shrug, turning your attention to the clear skies above once again. “You’ve lied to me, played with my trust, and walked all over your word hours before we were supposed to get together and have a talk about us. You showed me that we don’t mean that much to you. And still, whenever I see you in this state, I have a need to help you get through this because I want to see you happy,” you sighed and stayed silent for a while, fighting tears. All Jungkook could hear was your silent breathing and the loud beating of his heart that filled his ears. “And that’s not normal. If the basis of any type of relationship is the need to help the other person, it’s not a relationship of two equals, not in this case at least. Because this is something you need to want to work on, and you just don’t. Me wanting it doesn’t change a damn thing.”
What was there to say to this? You were absolutely right. The fact that you wanted the best for him always played in Jungkook’s favor. Other than his mother, you were the only person out there who had his best interest in heart, yet he managed to fail you both, and he’d keep doing it for as long as you’d let him.
You learned your lesson, his mother still hasn’t. She’d die and not realize what a user her son was becoming, and the thought hurt Jungkook. He wanted to make his mother proud, he wanted her to feel happy when talking about him, he wanted you to feel the same way, but how could you? He let you down a lot of times, and he’d keep doing it.
“You’re right,” Jungkook said, clearing his throat once he realized it was becoming hard for him to speak as self-pity washed over him. “You shouldn’t want to help me.”
“Why do you do this?”
“Do what?” Jungkook faced you, but you didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking at him. Instead, you stared right ahead and he marveled at your beauty.
“You really don’t know how you act when you’re… All drugged up, do you?” Your voice quivered as you spoke. “You look like a mess, Jungkook. You groped women and let them do the same in front of so many people whose respect you actually want. Some of your idols were in that room downstairs, but you didn’t even notice. You danced and hit people, spilled their drinks, shoved them without even noticing, but others did. You lose all common sense when you get high and it’s not a good thing.”
Jungkook gulped loudly, taking your word for it. He knew he made a fool out of himself more often than not, his bandmates always told him so. Kijung always told him so, and so did the media, and of course, Reddit. Everyone fucking hated him and thought he was a clown whenever he was high and/or drunk. Hearing this from you hurt even more somehow.
“I… I’m sorry,” he tried to come up with someone good to say, something that would make you realize it was all a mistake and that he wanted nothing more than to just talk to you again, but he couldn’t. Nothing came up. “It’s… I…” Jungkook took a deep breath, exhaled loudly, and said your name once, twice, three times. Why couldn’t he think of the right words? “You’re right about everything and I don’t want to give you excuses. None of them matter anyway.”
That’s when Jungkook noticed the tears streaming down your face. Only two managed to get out before you closed your eyes and sighed, trying to pull yourself together, but it was too late—Jungkook had already noticed them.
“Why are you crying?” Jungkook asked, unsure of whether he was the cause of your sadness. Chances are, he was, but he wanted to be sure if he was going to help you. Did he say something wrong? Jungkook was aware of the things he’d done, painfully so, but he couldn’t figure out what made you cry now. Even two tears were too many to waste for a deadbeat like himself.
“Because I care about you despite all of it,” you admitted with a shrug, and Jungkook could hear the pain in your voice.
This isn’t what love was supposed to be like, even he knew that. What good were all the feelings you two had for each other when his behavior made you this sad and upset? It shouldn’t be that way. Jungkook's never seen you like that, so he reached out and tried to touch your shoulder, comfort you that way, at least, but you moved away and placed both hands in front of your chest as if you were disgusted by the idea of him touching you. It looked like you were getting ready to push him away if he tried to hug you.
What has Jungkook become? There you were, the person Jungkook felt closest to, crying because of him, looking afraid of him, not wanting him to touch you. As if that was your wake-up call, you turned around and were about to walk away from him, probably for good.
“Please, don’t leave,” Jungkook pleaded, and somehow, it worked.
You turned around and faced him again, unable to hide the frown on your face. You were in pain because of him and his stupid childish behavior, and so was his mother. You two were the only people that had any faith in him and this is how he repaid you. All those online commenters were right: Jungkook didn’t deserve a single thing he had. He was selfish, immature, and tried to run away from reality by making everyone’s life a living hell.
Jungkook took a step towards you and suddenly dropped to his knees, wrapping his hands around your thighs, and sobbed into your stomach, feeling like his entire world was about to end. Earlier, Jungkook saw absolute disgust in your eyes and he couldn’t blame you for it, but it hurt. All he felt for you was love and admiration and respect, and you felt repulsed by him, rightfully so. He was a mess, always has been.
Instead of pushing Jungkook away, like he expected you to, you placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on his head, gently petting him. “It’s alright,” you whispered, pulling him in closer. Jungkook felt a tear drop on him, and realizing you were crying again because of him made him hate himself even more. “Cry if you need to. It’s okay.”
Was he crying? It felt so surreal, holding you like that, and not even realizing that he was the one sobbing loudly, holding onto your dress and thighs as if he were holding on to dear life, gripping your body, not wanting to let you walk away from him. You told Jungkook everything he needed to know—you cared about him, but you realized you could never help him. You wanted to, but only because you wanted to help everyone. This was the last time you two would feel close, Jungkook knew it. You were deciding on kicking him out of your life for good, and he didn’t know how to deal with that.
Jungkook wasn’t sure how long you two stayed like that, but once he calmed down, you squatted so you could be on the same level when you looked into his eyes. “Are you alright?”
“No,” Jungkook answered without hesitation. “Are you?”
You shook your head and sighed. “I have to leave now. Please, Jungkook, take care of yourself. Nobody can help you if you don’t help yourself.”
“I know,” he said, grabbing your arms and trying not to hold you too tightly. Jungkook didn’t want to hurt you or seem desperate, but he didn’t want to accept the fact that you were about to walk out. “I care about you. Only you,” he led your hand to his heart and held it there, looking straight into your eyes, feeling like his chest was about to rip open. “When I’m sober, you’re all I think about and I’m sorry I messed it all up. I just want us to be happy, together.”
“Please, get help, Jungkook,” you wriggled your hand out of his and cupped his cheek, patting it lightly. “Remember how you said that you felt like you were floating in the sea? That was your life? You were going where the sea would take you?”
Jungkook nodded, remembering that conversation like it happened yesterday, and not months ago. He was telling you how he had no plans in life and no sense of control either. It was like he was floating and the sea took him wherever it wanted, but the ride was smooth sailing for him.
“Well, the currents are getting to you, and if you don’t start swimming, you’ll drown,” you emphasized the word and frowned as if you were about to burst out crying. Jungkook hated seeing you that way, especially when he knew he was the cause of you feeling that bad. “Don’t let that happen. Take care.”
With that, you got up and left. Jungkook tried to follow you, but it took him a while to even stand up and feel safe on his feet. His legs hurt, his mouth was dry, and his heart ached.
You were right—the current took him all the way to hell, and there was no way out, not for a guy like Jungkook.
you can find the masterlist here and share your feedback with me here, if you want to. if you enjoy reading my stories, please consider supporting me using buymeacoffee. thank you! :)
Warnings: All the smut. There's kind of a part two here.
My Masterlist
“Shhh, princess, you have to be quiet.” The man currently thrusting into you said from behind. You did your best to keep your moans as quiet as you could, but the way Yoongi was fucking you, it was actually a struggle to do as he asked.
“Fuuuck.” You moaned, lowly as you clenched around his cock, feeling every inch he was giving you.
“Yes, baby girl, just like that.” Yoongi praised you, his hips pounding against your ass as each thrust brought you closer and closer to your orgasm. His hands, which had been digging into your hips, moved to your shoulders, pulling your back flush against his chest, his breath hitting your ear. He held you in place with his left arm, his right hand moving down your body, tweaking your right nipple before reaching between your legs, his middle finger deftly circling your clit. The way your wet cunt gripped him, he knew you were close. He covered your mouth to prevent your scream, fingers working magic on your clit and he continued to pound into you. “Cum for me, baby.”
Three more thrusts from his hip and you were falling headlong into your release. He fucked you through your high, chasing his own. In the time it took you to come back down from the explosive orgasm, he found his own, releasing into the condom that would make clean up quicker. A few more pumps of his dick into you, milking the last of his orgasm out and then he was leaning his forehead against the back of your head.
“Fuck, baby.” He was breathing heavily, but it was slowing down as he held you against his body. “I wish we had more time right now.”
You looked back at Yoongi, smiling at him as you untangled his arms, turning in them, “It’s okay, love. I’ll just take it out on you when we get home.”
You cleaned yourself up, made very convenient due to him having pulled you into the bathroom of the restaurant you were at for a friend’s birthday party. You both righted your clothes, checking the mirror to fix any signs of what you’d been up to in the 5 minutes you’d been gone from the rest of your friends. There was no hiding it though. You both looked freshly fucked. Shrugging, you looked back at your boyfriend, chuckling to yourself before running your fingers through his hair, settling it a little more. Washing your hands before leaving, you laced your fingers into Yoongi’s, smiling up at him as he pulled you closer to his body.
“I love you.” You whispered before stretching up to plant a soft kiss against his lips.
“I love you, too, princess.” His gummy smile was on full display as you reached the table your friends were sitting at.
