Book vs Intuition. Ah. Actually reading intuitively is easier because you would not really have to memorise all the meanings except the gists.
Here we go! This time I chose The Dark Grimoire because the images are totally not the same as the traditional ones. A good deck to work on the intuition.
I have undergone a training of combining intuition and book meaning when I was a volunteer for ATA. So I think this would not be very difficult for me. We shall see.
I drew extra card for further elaboration.
1. What area of my life that needs the most focus right now?
Three of Wands + 7 of Wands
Intuitive message will be it is time to be in the limelight after a long adventure. This limelight is mine no matter how I see it (i.e. competition, attention-seeker) and it’s just there for me to be bask in it.
Book definition. Three of Wands usually refer to traveling indication for career or life. It doesn’t matter because it just simply hint relocation. 7 of Wands is associated with struggle or control.
Comparison. The original image shows a man waiting over the shore in between 3 wands leaning towards the process prior to taking action while Dark Grimoire shows the man is already in action. The original 7 of Wands shows a man. perhaps, hammering the final wand into the ground while mine shows the man is surrounded by zombies who seem to want the glowing crystal in his hand.
If I were to use the book definition, the combination would be an underlying inner struggle to the desire of going afar be it to start a new life or career. It’s totally different from the intuitive meaning I got.
Both also are not very far off. Recently, I have been telling myself “If only I am not afraid, I could have tried working abroad like what some of my friends did. I could have a different life than now.” And not surprisingly, I have many cards regardless of types telling me the same thing about this: Relocation especially for career. It’s almost 10 years now and I never moved an inch from my room. That’s cause I don’t know where to go. All I wanted is money keeps entering into my account while sleeping.
Limelight, ha? Seriously, I got no idea what it means. This limelight I am feeling is the stardom’s limelight. Be someone that appears in media. That kind of limelight. I am feeling that the Universe is trying to tell me that I have lots of insights gained from experience that it’s time for me to build a name for myself. If I did, I would be famous in my own right. Actually, I did feel this sometime ago in a meditation. A psychic once told me before she saw me standing on stage giving my own speech. Wow. Oh, I must first take action! Anyways, though there seem to be competition and also jealousy, what is mine is mine. Bwahaha. That’s assuring.
2. Is there anything potentially holding me back from succeeding in this area of life?
Intuitive: Exhaustion, which I always complain, is not really the main obstacle but not looking at the direction where help is coming from. And also I am too busy being mesmerised by others and not taking stock of my own greatness. Hmm. In other words, poor self-acknowledgment. This sounds familiar??
Book: Justice means the hard work that has been put in is delivering results. You reap what you sow. The Wheel means life is getting very positive... there’s abundance.. money and everything seems so smooth sailing!
Comparison. Justice in my deck is a voodoo. Ooh. Very dark. Seriously, if the querent is playing black magic, this card really means he or she is going to get the consequences. But for me is that the tiredness I have is some kind of illusion because the needles (representing tiredness) are not painful at all. Even though help is just around the corner (aka the female holding two bowls), I can’t see it because I am too drown in the pain. For the original Justice image, it shows a lady holding a sword and a scale that there is balance in everything.
The Wheel here is a person peeking amongst the bushes while the original is a wheel with four entities at the four direction. Hehe. Like the guy peeking, I am too busybody.
I recently realised my tiredness is not really physical but spiritually. I am tired of daily life especially when my day job is not inspiring anymore and I am just hanging to it simply because of the pay and the flexibility. It eats up my soul and energy. And all I want is just to sleep and not care about income. However, I am not ready to do so when I have no one except myself to rely on for money. This is something I really need to think about seriously because I have been told that I have extended my stay at my current job by 3 years already... I need a back-up financial plan.
Ok. I will try to reduce my outing. That will also save up my energy but I like cafe-hopping! Argh!!! I so need house arrest!
3. What small steps can I taketo start improving this area of my life?
9 of Chalices (Cups) + The Magician
Intuition. 9 of Chalices actually shows I am in deep-thought. I think a lot on planning that makes become uncertain to an extent confuse of what to do first. The Magician simply says TAKE ACTION! Just write!
Book: 9 of Cups. It means happy ending that wishes come true, happy family and whatever positive meanings you can think of. The Magician means the person can do anything he or she desires.
Comparison. Meh. Mine here shows me-time or to calm oneself or self-indulgence. He just wants to taste his drink at his own time and pace. The Magician here is someone who writes a journal while the original image has a man holding all the main tarot items.
Meh. Meh. I know what the Magician is saying: Write that story you have in your mind. Or whatever creativity relating to words that is bubbling inside me. But I am such a perfectionist that I won’t start writing until I find the right words in my heads but the truth is things don’t work that way. It all starts with the first word on the piece of paper. That what counts! These both cards are actually way opposite for me. Self-indulgence vs action.
In conclusion, just start writing!!! Maybe like a glossary of words that are running in my head, then the gist then play around with the words to come up with a sentence. Come on. Let’s go back to writing haiku and lyrics as a start. Worse, start those writing courses you bought online!!!
Also, if I think I have no idea, I should just start reading one journal article per day. I would be then on par with my community peers.
