A private tao

40 (fuck!) and *NOT* looking ... just a place for me to rant semi-anonymously. White, educated(ish), trans feminine, pansexual, (turning) polyamourous and kinky. ehlers danlos syndrome (with complications), probable borderline personality disorder. Recovering piece of shit. Technical drug addict. Lover of art and conflict in equal measure. If you see stitch as my avatar, I'm unlikely to be kind. Dont mistake the images I share or like as being for the "male gaze" its always the femme sub Im identifying with. Its an easy thing to misunderstand so I hope this clears it up. Also, shaming people for putting details about the blog here are utter jerks DNI TERFS, SWERFS, Ableists, racists, minors, paedophiles or cis men looking for a middle strut in their Eiffel Tower fantasy

[irepolly]

Ok enough! Heres the list of info you need. Anything else - mind your own business

I am a transgender woman. DNI if you are a TERF (its not a slur, its your own term)

Many of my friends are sex workers and I werent pushing 40 and too sick to be safe Id probably be doing the same. So if youre a SWERF, kindly go play in traffic and dont try to interact with me.

That said; PLEASE NO FIN-DOMME OR PAY-FOR-PLAY BLOGS. IM NOT YOUR AUDIENCE AND WHILE I GET WHY YOU ARE MAKING THE MISTAKE LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR: I AM NOT A MAN. I AM NOT A BOY. I AM NOT A "SISSY". MY BODY RUNS ON ESTROGEN. I IDENTIFY AS FEMALE. I AM A WOMAN. I AM NOT YOUR AUDIENCE

I get it if you have mistaken me and this blogs purpose - I am not looking for sex so if youre trying to add a new name to your list of clients you can skip me. Always happy to talk "shop" with anyone in the sex industry but that doesnt equate to being a source of income for you. Please do not send soliciting messages because often the choice of bait language used can be seriously upsetting to me (context: due to a health disorder I cannot opt for surgery)

I am a "little" . I am not looking for a play partner or a Care Giver etc. What exists on this wall is literally a collection of my weird subconscious stuff and a genuine envy of the number of girls having experiences I cant.

I live in Ireland and I am Irish - I am not a subject of the USA and never will be.

Nor am I a UK citizen or subject of the British crown. Because apparently some people dont see a difference; the British Empire colonised us about 800 years ago and we get to be pissed off at the Windsors (well... Haps-Koburg but lets not get into that). This has nothing to do with the *people* of the UK (unless theyre racist/imperialist/homophobic etc) but its kind of like calling a Vulcan "Romulan" so consider yourself educated.

ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS, no exceptions.

I am *not* inclined to be nice if youre being a dick

[irepolly]

We need a new kind of internet. We need to build an internet that is safe from the unfair criticality of small interest groups. We need a safe space for like minded individuals to be able to speak freely without worry about the zeitgeist coming to get everyone and "cancel" them. We need a place where thought and expression are not subject to a collection of archaic "rules" accumulated over thousands of years of fruitless arguing with the other side. We need to make it a physically separate space to the internet we currently share. Air gapped with check point controls for visitors like the Berlin Wall. We need all of that *and* we need a normal place for the rest of us to get on with the progression of the human race

[alma-de-naturaleza]

If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere.

-Vincent Van Gogh-

[principessa-6]

🦅🦅 Stupenda creatura 🦅🦅

[reasonsforhope]

By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.

Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.

This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):

How to Sharpen Executive Functions: Activities to Hone Brain Skills

Executive functioning skills range from working memory to cognitive flexibility to inhibitory control, and beyond. They power our daily func

Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):

Enhancing Executive Functioning Difficulties in Adults with Autism

Practical Strategies for Enhancing Executive Functioning Difficulties in Adults With Autism - Living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) as

Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.

But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:

Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.

Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation

Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.

Meditation

Martial arts

Sports in general

Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)

Woodworking

Cooking

If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers

Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

Clips from the intersex documentary Every Body (2023) featuring interviews from Sean Saifa Wall, River Gallo, Alicia Roth Weigel, John Money, a 90's international intersex group meetup, a mother of an intersex kid who was told to stop having kids, and in the final clip, David Reimer - the man who was the basis for John Money's experimentation that is still used on intersex infants today.

This compilation is in response to the queer community on tumblr being painfully ignorant and unaware of the medical abuse intersex people endure today, and every day of our lives. For some reason, there's this idea that this sort of shit cannot be happening to us, because it's "malpractice" (despite being standard medical practice) or because it's rape or mutilation or child abuse, or because of any other reason. This is happening. This is very real. David Reimer ended his life a couple years after the interview given here. I was eleven when the medical abuse began and fifteen when I was assaulted and punished by a female OBGYN for being intersex.

Please care about our stories. Please believe us. PLEASE stop seeing our pleas for help and community as a challenge to you, your life, your identity, or other queer people. We are fucking suffering. Please listen, even if it hurts! Please understand that

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

Genuinely, not being able to spread stuff like this through the parts of the queer community that need to see it most because shinigami eyes is being used in a concentrated effort to wipe out intersex voices and perspectives by mislabeling us, including trans intersex people, as transphobic. Because our lives and stories demand a shift in queer activism as a whole to include us, we are crushed and labeled as transphobic.

This is why it bothers me that a big blog like "certifiedsexed" (no sex ed without interSEX people, you coward) that has boosted posts of mine about vaginal atrophy in relation to intersex diagnoses in the past is running around blocking us all for not being okay with the intersex erasure that comes with the tme/tma nonsense. You all NEED to be spreading our perspectives. We are not hypothetical. What is happening to us isn't just talk, and the things we say about our lives aren't just rhetorical. Listen to us. Please.

[nina-floret]

Source

[irepolly]

Oof, right in the feels!

[sir-dyke-genderpunk]

[irepolly]

This is magnificent 😄

[sillytransfemmething-deactivate]

[chloestransart]

You aren't faking a thing.

You all started following me because of my Small Things comic, one I made about dysphoria. I thought I should make a more positive-toned one. Dysphoria is an asshole, and it makes you think you aren't who you are. But you shouldn't listen to it, though I know it's easier said than done.

[elierlick]

This was published weeks ago, yet I haven't seen a single mainstream news source covering this massive scandal. Read the full article here: https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/trans-youth-suicides-covered-up-by

[iraprince]

anybody else in the club feeling this one

[b0tster]

new top who dis

[irepolly]

I own a drop leg bag but I've never had the courage to wear it. Don't think I should try now that I'm 42 tho :/

[b0tster]

on my way to the queer lib march!!

[irepolly]

... if I had my time back

[irepolly]

I just want the bullying to stop

I just want to feel safe in my own home

I just want to be left alone by the state and for them to stop criminalising my existance

I want my friends, family and extended trans family to stop dying murdered by cops, TERFs, CHILDREN and by their own hand unable to live with the inflicted suffering

I want to get up one day - just one! - and not feel like my safety relies on my make up and posture

I just want to see trans people given an equal choice with cis people

I just want job discrimination to stop and for my brothers and sisters to be given a fair chance

I just want my existance to stop being click bait

It amazes me how the only things we want are for you to essentially do *nothing*

... and somehow its still "demanding, entitled and "how dare we?"'

I'll live with the defacto apartheid if you just fucking leave us alone!

[genderkoolaid]

people need to realize that sexual harassment & assault can happen in women's only spaces. and cis straight women can and are frequent perpetrators (sexual harassment & assault do not require attraction). & the idea that women are just naturally safe to be around makes it harder for victims to speak up and be taken seriously because "but we're all girls! it's fine if I deny your autonomy if we're girls it's just a fun joke :)"

if you want to make women's spaces safer for victims of sexual assault, you need to focus on empowering ALL victims & not making sweeping generalizations based in bigotry.

[silvermoon424]

New reaction pic for y'all to be used when you get into an argument about trans healthcare and your opponent starts talking about the 0.8% or whatever or trans people who regret transitioning

[britcision]

By the way, the regret rate for knee replacement surgery is 17%

A regret rate below 1% is a surgeon’s dream

[memoirs-of-a-trans]

How many more queer kids are gonna die before people give a shit? What are we supposed to do. Nex Benedict did fucking nothing wrong and they had their head bashed against the fucking floor. They just wanted to go home that day.

Kevin Stitt is a fucking murderer.

Chaya Raichik is a fucking murderer.

Ryan Walters is a fucking murderer.

Margaret Coates is a fucking murderer.

[irepolly]

Look, I am uncomfortable with punishing children - it's the fucking Huckabees and DeSantis of the world that leads them to do this - *but* this shit happened in Ireland back in the 90s and the judge dismissed the case on grounds that "killing a homosexusl was the equivalent of killing a stray dog". So I know how important that justice be seen to be served. I would like to see some kind of reparations but I can't imagine it would be forth coming so juvenile Hall until they turn 18 then a review of the continuing sentnce by a panel that *includes* both indigenous and trans people seems appropriate.

What would be nice is if you could hold the enablers and promoters of this behavior accountable for constructive murder. That would be justice.

In any case, this is a heartbreaking case and Nex deserves better than only being talked about on fucking Tumblr