If By Name, Call Me Calamity

@iridescent--girl

Will you pull yourself together, asked my bones of me, a simple request I honored for some time, until I realized, asking back: Will you pull me together? . . . . . We have a thing here called hunger, a feeling and an ache, want of want. You could try it sometime if you like. You could be forgiven for not knowing. You could be forgiven for a lot of things.

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lycheepeachesarchives

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hayleyikiyoko

I have been working on finding my voice for years. As an artist, I always want everything I create to represent what my soul feels and sounds like – whether it’s a video concept or a lyric or melody. Two years ago on a rare rainy day in Los Angeles, in a songwriting session with Owen Thomas and Lily May Young, I was venting my frustration about my music not connecting the way I wanted it to. Lily looked me in the eye and asked, “Tell me something nobody knows about you, something you are afraid to sing about?“ I immediately thought, well I like girls and that’s what I want to sing about, but even then I struggled to say it out loud. Finally, I told Lily that I always say “you” and “them" and never the pronoun “her" in all my songs because I was afraid it wouldn’t connect. We talked more about concepts and my experiences, and how I loved the idea of stealing another guy’s girl because that was always a fantasy of mine. Growing up, everything I did was always about girls. I took dance because of girls. I got involved in student council because of girls. Not that I ever expected any of them to like me back, but I just felt comforted being around them, even if I could never date them. So there we were. The song “Girls like Girls" was born.