@iridescent-twilight - Tumblr Blog

Nancy Willard, from “Questions My Son Asked Me, Answers I Never Gave Him”

I’m weak-willed enough to admit that her words govern the flow of my life. She is the moon incarnate, and I—the wave-washed child, left without an edge to grip the earth—am unanchored around her. - antistoicheart

sorrrowfull

letsbelonelytogetherr

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

dary-98

:"

missinyouiskillingme

Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.

“the door can stay open, but you don’t have to stand there holding it”

except i do, except im not holding it open, my fingers are clenched onto the door and i’ve thrown my full weight back trying to keep it open at all. i keep losing inch by inch, the only thing i can see through that doorway are your eyes and one lock of your hair. im trying so fucking hard to swing that door on its hinges back open. i’m trying and im trying and i don’t think it will work, i don’t think that door will ever open again once it closes. i can’t breathe and im sweating, im trying so hard.

time won’t fly, it’s like i’m paralyzed by it. there is something inherently wrong with me, there was a shift somewhere along the way and i have existed in madness ever since. there was never a spell you cast on me, dark magic that drifted out of the tips of your fingers that were cast my way. this world is one i made all by myself. the antagonist portrayed herself as a victim and you, the throw away character all along. that specific pain is real, and it exists even now as i lie to myself. i metastasized that loss and made it my entire world. this is all i know, this is all i have felt for years, the pain of missing you and the pain of knowing it was only ever my fault.