Izzy's Scribblings

Izzy Iris' authorisms.

[pangur-and-grim]

local worm loves heating vent

[pangur-and-grim]

to those commenting on her bones (or lack-thereof): that’s just how a lady sits

[ribbonstein]

are you a “july is pride 2″ gay or a “july is wrath” gay

[theicombaticon]

[wolftyla]

*Romantically passes you the blunt*.

[twerkingsharks]

I wanna know what the fuck kind of teenagers they interviewed

[halloweenprincess]

this post is kpc

[isabellibretto]

“Twitchy”

Ever since I was seven years old I started to realize that I did weird things with my body

I would do weird things with my head and my eyes and my tongue and my shoulders and my legs and feet and toes and fingers and lips. I noticed the tips of my fingers had to press against each other whenever they weren’t active I realized that the action in my head that I had finally started to become used to had transferred itself into my muscles and my vocal cords.

I realized that the words that repeated in my head repeated deep in my throat and I realized that for some reason I had the uncontrollable urge to growl and I noticed that my tongue FUCKING REFUSED TO STAY INSIDE OF MY GOD DAMN MOUTH.

I was scared, I didn’t know what was happening, I didn’t understand why when I spun around clockwise seven times I had to spin around counter-clockwise seven times and even it out. I didn’t understand why I had to rub my ear against my shoulder 15 times a minute AND THEN DO IT WITH THE OTHER EAR. I didn’t understand why I filled every waking moment of my life with motion.

I researched and found haphazard research to base on and nobody seemed to want to tell me quite what was going on with my body and my voice and my head.

At 10 years old I moved to a new town after my parents’ divorce and my new classmates re-christened me, ‘twitchy’. Well, either that or faggot, depending upon their mood. And from my own slim knowledge of what was going on upon turning 13, I tried to satiate the savage targeting by letting people know that this was a disorder that this was not my choice but more a chore and when I told them that I was taking medications to hinder this hellish itch, they re-re-christened me ‘pillsbury’.

There is no winning with Tourette’s and children. There is no skimming through unnoticed when you stick out like the sore thumbs that I’ve probably gotten tendonitis in from all of the pressure I’ve applied to them over the past decade. There is no ignoring the red and chapped right side of my lips that my tongue slips through.

There is no glory in being this different. There was no story that I could invent to defend myself, so I fended for myself among two other people who kept me alive through full days crying in the bathroom in the middle school.

I had support from two out of 300 people. Of the remaining 298 I wound up attacking 10 at the very least when they would mock and imitate me, calling out the name Twitchy and Schizo and Pillsbury because it release a fury I had never felt before. I couldn’t control myself and I got into trouble innumerous times because I felt obligated to beat the piss out of people who tried to belittle me.

The little me didn’t know what to do. Young Jesse was confused and bemused to find that people straight up hated him simply because he had outstanding impulses to twitch and move and make noise.

However slowly though, I did manage to slow down. I managed to suppress and unfortunately, all that did was depress me. It made me feel like my insides were exploding and I felt like I had to hide every single part of me every single day and I was so distraught that once people finally moved on from targeting me, I was still on guard.

And to this day I am still on guard.

And I may be on guard until the day I die because of it.

[isabellibretto]

“To Be With You Always” Tentative transcript:

*Note: Recordings of these songs are linked in the song title, though some are either incomplete or have been revised since recording (for instance, the recording of Catch The Ground was made before I wrote the lyrics).

*Note2: Anyone But You and Breathe, Lover, Breathe were uploaded as a medley and so the links attached to each song are to the same recording

Look At Me:

Who is this man? What is his plan for me is he just another enemy intimately following me, flying from sea to sea to see me?

Look at me, look at me, you’re telling me what I wanna be.

Sing with me, you might even see some of the beautiful people that you’ll never meet.

You Are:

You are like an individual star, I can see you in plain view but I don’t quite know where you are. Now I’m counting the lights in the night sky, connecting the dots and wondering why I can’t amount to you light, not tonight.

It’s all about turning out all the lights that surround your mouth so I can see your beauty purely, I’m surely in love with you.

You shine bright, like an unbelievable light, likened to shooting stars blasting scars in the sky; you and I can do it together.

Time is Money:

Some things simply aren’t made for human consumption. I listened to my heart and figured I had to change the discussion’s tone, to go alone, to hop off of this throne- to step down about-face and turn around, and make my way back home to my favorite town.

So don’t look back, you’ll wanna lose it and give up, you’ll forget everything you thought you knew about your luck, but in fact if you keep on track, you’ll find a fast pass to the middle of the upper-class...

That’s what they’ll tell you, that’s what they’d like you to believe so just breathe, be free. We’ll get you everything that you need in time, but you’ll find that your time ain’t free, no, time is money, money, money, money, money, money. Time’s money, money, money, money, money, money, money(x3)

White Houses:

It’s not that I’m inclined to lie it’s just that dire times call for dire actions. Dire reactions have made us this way, they’ve torn us away from our promises, but it’s none of my business it’s over... I wanted it over, right? Funny I said that, and now I’m standing here tonight.

I like to believe that I like to believe that I like to sing about what happened between you and me. But when I try to get the words out they don’t feel like they mean anything at least not to me, oh!

‘Cause I’m all caught up in these White houses, compounded see thousands of faces surrounded. None of them know of our vertigo, strange circumstances can entrance us, romance us.

It’s not that I am back to pry it’s just that I am trying to redact some things I’ve said. I made a few mistakes in freaking out, thinking I could remedy things by trying to keep you to myself. But I was wrong, all sorts of wrong, and I figure that’s why it took so damn long to write this song.

So I’d, like to talk to you today to maybe address what I’ve said in bad taste. I realize now why my faith was misplaced and I think that it’s time to embrace what remains of this.

But I’m all caught up in these white houses, compounded, see thousands of faces surrounded. None of them know of our vertigo, strange circumstances can entrance us, romance us, Whoaaaaaaaaa!

Battlefield:

Faces blend together, the anger of the mangled ones will just have to weather watching everybody go, wishing they believed but still somehow they just don’t know: life is a battlefield, grab a sword and shield, make them yield, they don’t belong in your field of vision. Send them away or prohibit them to stay, you just can’t let toxicity seep through your sleeves and into your veins.

As if I actually believed I could be anything, society tricked me into dreaming but I guess lucidity wasn’t in the agreement. I’d love to be a rockstar, I’d love to sing in sports bars on Saturday nights feeling grateful for the rights my life has given me.

‘Cause I’m living as the best man I could be, hiding all the love I’ve got as though it’s not inside of me, it’s not that I don’t care, I just don’t really wanna stare so I’m done...

Somebody once asked me if I kept tabs on what went on in my mind, and I asked why that even fucking mattered to them. And I had to take a step back and think about that attack, that poor brother was just curious as to if I was OK.

So I’m living as the best man I could be, saving all the love I’ve got for a very certain somebody. I want you to know I care but I don’t really wanna scare you off.

Run Away:

Oh lover, I’m not sorry I won’t play pretend anymore. It’s like I’m losing focus; I feel so damn bored.

Let’s sing for all the people we couldn’t love enough Let’s sing for all the things that we thought were so tough.

My father tells me son you need to straighten out, get started. I don’t know what that means it makes this all seem so cathartic.

Let’s sing for all the things we didn’t know how to say. Let’s sing tomorrow since tomorrow’s another day

for us to run away. Fly through space to a place that we can share. It’s a brand new day, let’s fly away to a new escape I don’t care if you know the truth: something inside me still loves you; it’s such a pain, but I won’t let my love just die in vain.

Same Lines:

I can’t believe it, I must’ve dreamed it; everybody’s watching me but I don’t think that they’re seeing it. Always the same lines, repeated a dozen times. I claim to know them all but I don’t and I won’t.

Somebody breathes for me, somebody leaves for me, I’m not the man that I long to be, but I’m trying all that I can.

My heart is too tight fighting off all my frights, but none of that matters when I’m standing in your light. I like to sit around, put all my thoughts down, but something’s backwards when I come out with a frown.

I know you won’t come back on your own; I’m spending every day trying to find a way to get you back into my life.

Catch The Ground

I want to stay out just a little bit longer tonight, fly off into the sunset so we can finally get something right. Something can’t be told with pictures, videos and stories won’t do. Something greater, something innate or whatever it is when I look at you.

So I try not to look away, feel the taste upon your lips and your face. Looking down, you astound. You can be everything that you can resound.

You know that You’ve got it all, when I call you’re around when I fall, you catch the ground. You’re simply amazing the phrasing may seem complacent but face it, I’m all about you

Don’t sit down, feel around, find the sounds that you’ve been writing down. Look to her for what she’s worth: more than anything on the planet Earth.

You’ve got it all, when you call she’s around, when you fall, she’ll catch the ground, she’s simply amazing and the way you say you can’t obey your own statements gets in the way of your days with her.

It’s time I realized that I’ve got it all, when I call you’re around, when I fall you’ll catch the ground, you’re simply amazing and the taste in my mouth is crazy cause lately all I can think about is you.

Anyone But You:

This could be so entertaining, but it feels so draining, talking to you, waiting on you to get something back to me- but it’s all a dream. It makes me scream in agony, so angsty, please don’t tell anybody that

I’m not going to go away. I’m not trying to make you stay. I thought I’d be better by now, I guess not; why can’t I just see how?

I know you too damn well to leave; I wanna get back with you, but I just don’t believe that you wanna get back too. It’s so surreal the feeling of sleeping next to anyone but you. I think I’m going mad again cause I can’t even be your friend.

I know you too damn well to leave; I wanna get back with you, but I just don’t believe that you wanna get back too. It’s so surreal the feeling of sleeping next to anyone but you. I think I’m going mad again cause I can’t even be your friend.

Breathe, Lover, Breathe

Look around, see what I see. Sing aloud; breathe, lover, breathe.

Life’s too short to be obsessed with your anguish. Let’s go out in style, baby let’s sing this:

Look around, see what I see. Sing aloud; breathe, lover, breathe.

I’d do anything to be with you always. Everybody knows we’ll make it they all say:

Look around, see what we see. Sing aloud; breathe, lovers, breathe.

Somebody tell me when I’m lying- I’m fine though. Somebody reign me in I’m choosing with over bullshit; ain’t got time for it.

So look around, see what I see. Sing aloud; breathe, lover, breathe.(repeat & fade)

[iristocratic]

It's bitterly charming.

This area has been tread before, this alcove littered with shit.

A scantuary for two lovers to talk, and to kiss, and to sit.

People have run through, humming and cursing, looking for a place to rest.

Three young men stumble down through the roots to smoke and to feel less stressed. 

An old, stationary and abandoned train sits across the street;

behind a fence, it is layered with graffiti, its paint weathered from decades of heat.

Years of erosion have melted this sanctuary, and given it so much life. 

Out from the ground in a frozen mudslide protrudes a rusty, reddened knife.

This scene of scenes may seem to you barbaric for a bit,

as a man comes out for a cigarette somewhere his face is dimly lit.

In entering this oblivious museum resist the urge to retreat,

for if you let it sink a moment, the silence is an earthy sweet.

And before you go, eyes maybe cloudy, view of the outside jaded,

Leave one thing but to commemorate yourself in this Eden that we have created.

[isabellibretto]

I'm always running or sleeping,

running or sleeping,

tripping or shuffling,

rolling or falling.

I'm always trying to get away and trying to get closer,

trying to stay close to her

failing,

flailing. . .

"You guys are so cute!" 

"We're cute,"

"Yeah. . . That seems to be the general consensus."

*look of disappointment and disapproval*

Oh for christ's sake, what happened to us?

[isabellibretto]

If there's one thing I desire right now,

in the sea of things in my life that I have achieved or not 

achieved yet striven for the whole way,

it is a chance.

Nay,

it is to be treated like a person,

like an equal;

not as a toy,

not to be used,

not to be vented at when you're missing her,

or kissed when you're feeling lonely,

not to be hugged when you're feeling cold.

But an equal,

a friend,

a good friend,

one who will help

you through, not a passing object to cling

onto out of loneliness and desperation to move on.

I know I ought not beg,

but please.

[isabellibretto]

That's no more the point than the fact that I'll kiss you every day this week. 

[isabellibretto]

And here he is again:

sitting in his room,

soaking in harmony,

melting in memory,

losing his mind,

exploding with what he finds.

His lips are tingling,

his eyes are heavy,

his nerves are spastic,

his voice is cracking,

his fingernails snapping together.

He is humming to himself a song

only he can hear, only 

he can feel,

only he 

can know

in this moment.

[iristocratic]

My back arched forward,

my hands tangled in my hair,

my eyelids reuniting,

my legs relaxing,

my eyelashes twitching,

my computer humming,

piano beckoning,

dirty dishes reeking,

iPod glowing,

mind racing,

thoughts slurring,

voice lowering,

words expressing,

becoming,

returning,

hesitating,

lying,

trying,

flying,

trying.

[isabellibretto]

Why does the creativity stop at the surface? Why does it bubble up and cease before it can show? Why does it grow and flourish and sow but scatter whenever it finds itself known?

[isabellibretto]

JesseMercArt - New Song Concept

[isabellibretto]

Today I wrote a kind of a Pantoum. . .

Light flecks of sunlight drop from the air forming words with their paths, and strong bass ground fights its way to the sky,

Drop from the air a world turns upside-down and strong bass ground fights its way to the sky. Like reverb, with the echoes of a bird's song,

a world turns upside-down. Lightning bugs approach and mingle, like reverb to the echoes of a bird's song. Chaos erupts in synchronization with itself.

Lightning bugs explode in color, illuminating the canvas covering the Earth. Chaos erupts and paints the scene for the next day.

Illuminating the canvas covering the Earth, light flecks of sunlight drop from the air for the next day, and strong bass ground fights its way to the sky. 

[isabellibretto]

He’s not prepared for a snare to

Compare to the air when

He stares at the beautiful

Girls, chattering and flattering, and yet

Still staggering, struggling to find balance

Among the alliances in defiance towards each other, one

Another. “I don’t trust her, she’s a hoe,”

You don’t know, it’s all for show. At this party those who

Try to fly aren’t withheld by others, only by themselves and

For the record, the shelves of the cabinet

Adjacent to the basement door are hitting the floor when

News comes that she will arrive.

She, whose sight brings aforementioned flight and trite

Clichés like such do not matter; for when the day is

Seized, the speed with which time flies is absurd.

She speaks words, short and clever, as more people gather to

Console the girl who just lost the other half of her whole.

He stares at the beautiful

Girl, floating and trembling, and yet

Still resembling, assembling herself

Around the boy who finds joy in her smile, in her trials.                                      

Who would, if allowed seize the day,

If he didn’t fade away after, “hey. . .”

[isabellibretto]