Titled

[isntmyheartholy]

I am not scared of being lonely

I am not scared of being lonely, I fear the fall into loneliness after abandonment. Loneliness is a steady state, when I am in it, I am at home with it. But the chance meeting with someone you can make a connection with, and the drifting apart and eventual abandonment, that drop from feeling good in a company and then to being lonely...that drop is what I fear. That is so torturous.

[isntmyheartholy]

Heidegger quoting Hölderlin’s Mnemosyne

[isntmyheartholy]

Ellie on the train

I love the final scene of Ellie in the train after sob-giggling at Paul chasing the train where she looked at the other passengers....and nothing. They did not partake in this story of a fellow passenger or be bothered to know about it. They just continue doing what people do when they travel. Squahamish is just another small town on the way to their destination. They are not privy to the fact that in this town three teens have learned important lessons about finding their way about in love and dreams and the world. No cringey sympathetic smile or clap from other passengers except for the one lady who looked outside with a smile. That is just so realistic about leaving your hometown, the uncertainty, the unknown that Ellie is heading into.