Is SMH In The Library Right Now?

For the sanity of the people of Samwell, by the people of Samwell. Tips appreciated (I can't be everywhere at once). I'm undercover, but call me Libby I guess

[issmhinthelibrary]

Status: LOUD, temporarily(?)

Bittle has apparently finished his thesis, judging by the yelling happening upstairs. I think this is a good thing?

[issmhinthelibrary]

Update: I've been invited to a kegster.

[issmhinthelibrary]

Status: LOUD, temporarily(?)

Bittle has apparently finished his thesis, judging by the yelling happening upstairs. I think this is a good thing?

[issmhinthelibrary]

Alright. Asks and submissions are open, I have taken up my normal place at the front desk, and Founders is BACK!

No sign of anyone from the hockey team yet. If I remember correctly, they tend to have practice in the mornings, so maybe they don’t want to head to the library right after, I don’t know. We’ll see if that pattern holds this semester. As always, if you spot anyone, send me a tip!

[issmhinthelibrary]

Back-to-School Updates

Hey folks!

Outside the hallowed halls of Founders Library, the ground thunders with the footsteps of college athletes in preseason training. You know what that means: it’s almost time for another year at Samwell, and with that, we are experiencing an increased need for information about where the hockey team is at all times!

For new students: hi, welcome! I’m Libby (not my real name, but when I asked my supervisor if I could start an official Founders Library social media account he said no, so we’re doing this undercover). The Samwell Men’s Hockey team is very loud. The purpose of this account is to let you know if they’re being loud in the library, so you can either study elsewhere or bring noise-canceling headphones. Or, hell, if you study best with loud arguments happening fifty feet away, come by when Nurse and Poindexter are here, I guess.

As always, I can’t be everywhere at once (although intrepid detectives trying to figure out my identity will generally be able to find me at the front desk), so tips are appreciated!

[issmhinthelibrary]

Thanks to everyone who showed up for the first day of barricade practice! Thank you ESPECIALLY to Corey, Alicia, and Denice from the theater department (except Denice might be not doing theater anymore? Unclear but you were very helpful thanks!)

I really appreciate your efforts to keep anyone from getting killed because if anyone gets killed I have to shut down the barricade practice, that’s the deal I struck with the librarians. And this is a skill I really want to have, so I’d prefer if people didn’t die!

[tango-talks]

I think we'd be spices since we're on the surface of the earth/rotisserie chicken. Lava would be like a marinade or a brine. Rocks are the bones maybe? And I'm no physics major, but since heat makes molecules move around faster, then physics creates heat -> physics is indeed the oven of the rotisserie chicken that is the earth. -Libby from the library

OH! I love this! The image of us all just being the little spices that help make up the rotisserie chicken of earth is really cool! It also just makes us the matter since we each help make the chicken what it is. Each of us are a part of a whole and that’s wonderful

But then again, when you take into account the way rotisserie chicken is made, it's kind of similar but not all the way?

The lava is as much a physical part of the Earth as the rock, while a brine or marinade is less of such an integral part (in my opinion at least). Additionally, what would be considered the meat? Is there an ability for the meat to be “done” or “cooked”? 

Also the implication that something would be willing to crack open the earth like a rotisserie chicken is not fun!

Anyhow:

In my opinion the earth is sort of like a stuffed bread!

A lot of the outside and middle parts of the bread are the same and consist of the same makeup, but then the deeper in the bread, the less "cooked"/hardened it is! So like the outside of the bread will get crisper faster than the inside

The center of the Earth is our molten core, which is mostly iron, and that could be the "stuffing"/center of the bread

The center could sort of be like chocolate, where it's supposed to be melty

The sun and physics could still be the oven

We could kind of be like the yeast? Maybe like powdered sugar?

What would be something you sprinkle on top of bread that stays there as it cooks?

Hm

Maybe a savory bread?

Focaccia? Like the rosemary on top? Would that make the olive oil the ocean?

Or would it be like a cheesy bread? The cheese could be all gooey and soft!

Or is it like a sweet bread? Maybe like chocolate or caramel?

Maybe like we could be some sprinkles or something

Maybe it’s more like a cake? Maybe a lava cake?

Would that count? Since a lava cake is based off lava?

Or is it even based off lava?

Isn’t more like a magma cake since the chocolate is beneath the surface?

But then would it be even magma since it can’t harden into cake?

But then again what would?

Are we more like an underbaked cake?

Hmmmmm

[issmhinthelibrary]

I think a lava cake is based off of lava? Because you break through the solid part and the gooey inside part comes out, which is when it turns from magma into lava. And Earth has the inside part which is liquid and as it gets closer to the surface it hardens.

I don’t think we’re yeast though because we’re on the outside of the Earth/baked good. Maybe activating the yeast is the Big Bang? (Do you put yeast in cake? I don’t think so, isn’t it more of a baking powder/baking soda thing?)

And maybe Earth is a chocolate lava cake and we are powdered sugar? Could you fit several billion molecules of powdered sugar on a lava cake?

The inside of the cake *could* harden into.... well, not cake really, but Dried Lava Cake, if you gave it enough time. Or if you decreased the temperature enough and it froze. So it wouldn’t become more cake that we would eat, but it would harden given enough time.

(It is a bit circular logic since the lava cake is based off of lava which is from Earth, but rotisserie chickens also rotate in a circle so! It ties the logic together)

[issmhinthelibrary]

Happy end of finals!

Congratulations, everyone, we made it!

Founders WILL be open during the summer, so if you’re taking a class here, staying on campus, or just feel like dropping by to make my day a little less monotonous, come on by!

Not all of the collaborative study rooms will be open, but study rooms A and B will be available. The library cafe will also be open (with reduced hours), so don’t worry, you can still get your fill of that disgusting cherry grenadine thing they make. School spirit! Penitus potes!

Personally, I’ll be spending the summer brushing up on my guerrilla warfare tactics for library settings. Wellie’s been quiet lately, and the feud between the econ majors and the art majors hasn’t actually turned into all-out war yet, but better safe than sorry.

(Barricade practice will be in the first two weeks of June! Come on by if you’re interested--a couple of the crew people from the theater department will be helping us out. I say bonus points if you come in costume, because I’m bored. The crew people say ‘please for the love of God do not come in costume, last time we did this show Enjolras kept getting his sleeves stuck on the barricade and ripping them because they were so big and flowy.’ So, you know, it’s up to you.)

[issmhinthelibrary]

Status

No hockey players yet, but it’s finals season, so beware anyway. You never know when a biochem major who’s gotten 4 hours of sleep in the last 3 days is going to have a very loud breakdown in the middle of the reception area.

[issmhinthelibrary]

Status

Pretty chill! It’s Friday so I’m assuming SMH has decided to get ahead on the weekend.

There *are* a couple of members of the SWH and SWV teams here, and they are taking over the beanbag section on the second floor, but they are studying quietly so like. Come on over and get your work done while it’s quiet!

[issmhinthelibrary]

Status

Stay away from the first floor near the course texts. Oluransi, Poindexter, and an actual metric fuck ton of energy drinks are here and the stress is radiating outwards for 50 feet in every direction.

[issmhinthelibrary]

Noise level: moderate

Nurse is here, but he’s here with his poetry slam friends, not his hockey friends. Still way too many of them all talking to each other at once but they like to think they respect the sanctity of the library or whatever so it’s not too bad as long as you’re OK at tuning out conversations.

[issmhinthelibrary]

Finals season approacheth

We at Founders are very aware that it’s going to be impossible to keep Oluransi out of the library (which means Birkholtz will be here too), so we present this list of solutions:

1. Complimentary Samwell earplugs at the front desk!

2. ‘Private Review Session’ signs in the small group study rooms on the second floor (yeah, the ones with the bigass windows in the doors, and if anyone uses these signs to try to get nasty I will hunt you down with my megaphone)

3. A schedule we have, um, obtained of Samwell Men’s Hockey practice times and ‘mandatory team bonding’ times, so you can plan out your studying in advance. This is also available at the front desk so you can take a photo to keep with you at all times.

Please let us know if you have any suggestions for more things we can do to minimize nervous breakdowns in the library through the end of the semester!

[samwell-meme-page]

[issmhinthelibrary]

Sometimes when I’m not busy I count how many beverages people have. Today’s winner on the ground floor is someone with four (coffee cup, water bottle, juice, and energy drink because I guess the coffee wasn’t doing it for them? That’s midterms for you I guess)

[comsiclatte]

what if “is smh in the library” was run by smh and they’re just trying to be considerate

[comsiclatte]

@issmhinthelibrary ​ can you confirm?

[issmhinthelibrary]

Yeesh, I am the furthest thing from a college athlete. But now that you mention it, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them send in tips. I mean, there’s like 20 of them, at least ONE has to know this exists

[jerrys-waitstaff]

Do NOT come to Jerry’s right now unless you want to hear loud debates about “pedestrian takes on Emily Dickinson”

[issmhinthelibrary]

I.... have never been more angry about being on shift and unable to leave the library

[issmhinthelibrary]

Poindexter just came up and asked me for a thesaurus with a look of very suspicious, badly-hidden glee, if anyone wants to know how the Save Poindexter’s Essay Party is going