Issue: This

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“You don’t choose who you fall in love with”

I’ve been hearing this idea more and more. From the very first time I heard the phrase, something inside me disagreed with it. Sure, we don’t turn on emotions by choice; operating them like a switchboard—and I’m certainly not saying we look at a person, make a rational decision and then flip the ‘love switch’—but, in a looser sense, we do choose who we fall in love with. I definitely chose my boyfriend. I made choices about what I wanted in a relationship and in a man. From experiences on dates and in past relationships I decided what behaviors, traits, and attitudes I liked to be around and what I didn’t.  After the first date, we chose to keep seeing each other. These are little examples of how people choose who they spend their time with, form opinions about how they like to be treated, decide what things they see as important, and ultimately who they fall in love with. Most people don't have a blueprint of their ideal mate, but I believe even the most ‘victim’ of lovers made the decisions to fall for the person he or she is in love with.  Our minds are constantly and subconsciously making decisions based on beliefs and patterns we have already formed. Falling for someone is not some black and white decision we stop and make, but rather the result of the many choices we make about love and life. Love exists, it can be pure, euphoric, and overwhelming but I see the mindset behind the words of “You don’t choose who you fall in love with” to be just more hogwash about love being some mystically uncontrollable force that the human mind falls victim to, rather than it being something people are responsible for. A victim mentality like this forms an excuse for those in love/desiring love to hang on to people and relationships that aren’t healthy or truly satisfying. This phrase is a poisonous mantra that irrationally romanticizes and rationalizes helpless love and the practice of giving love to those who we might otherwise not consider to be great choices.  

[issuethis-blog]

every time i paint my nails silver

every time i paint my nails silver i can't help but think of my fiance. as an eid gift he bought me a few different types of silver nail polish.

it was an extremely thoughtful gift. but i can't help but smile at the thought of him (all 6'3" of him) walking into ultra beauty supply. it's a place he no doubt knows very little about and i can't help but wonder if he had some help picking out brands like OPI and Essie. after all, no guy would even know what those are. 

these aren't my nails

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apologizes and sequins.

i realize i've neglected this blog. when we first conceived of this blog i hoped to update every week, at least. but please accept my apologizes.

as a follow up to my last post  issuethis.tumblr.com/post/12319057529/i-am-under-taking-a-quest-that-no-one-in-their-right i have the results of my impossible task. after a week of 5-6 hours a day of work this is what i came up with. 

so after a week of handling this hot mess i gave up.

i started beading one of my favourite shirts. and this time i can't help but be incredibly proud. 

it's over a weeks worth of work but trust me it was totally worth it. 

[issuethis-blog]

Gender roles in AMC's The Walking Dead

My boyfriend and I started watching AMC's The Walking Dead (season 1), seen all but the finale and I love the show. Survival, gore, knowing anyone could go at any moment, and little kids with unusually-adult-sounding names like 'Carl'--everything you'd want out of a horror show, it's great. The one disappointed is that the way women are portrayed in the show isn't fresh; it's stanky. Blonde woman points a gun at a man, and doesn't know the safety's on. Blondes are dumb, and women don't understand guns. These jokes are played out, and reinforce false perceptions that people love to believe. My grandma knows more about actually firing a firearm than probably 80% of today's Call Of Duty addicts. It also displays women as overly-emotional, so much so that they can't be trusted to use a firearm rationally. What a crock. The tasks we see women performing are trivial. Laundry? Sure, why not--but do all of the adult female characters need to be down at the lake, really? And I swear there's a scene where one of the ladies is sharpening a stick to a point, like a caveman and without the show ever really explaining what for. The women are portrayed as passive as hell.  I am not asking for a female Rambo, and in a group that size you would expect to see some of the people taking more passive roles. My complaint is that every one of the active characters is male, and the female characters are mostly sad, mopey and in a victim state-of-mind. I'd like to see people active about their survival, regardless of genitalia. When we do see women being active, it is unsuccessful, as with the earlier example when Andrea draws the gun on Rick, she is then made a fool of when it is pointed out that the safety is on. She's 'put in her place'. They aren't trying to repopulate the planet, so it's not like women have to stay on camp because they don't want to risk losing the ability to make babies. Give a level-headed lady a gun; so far the Black lady seems like the only one the show offers us. I have not read the graphic novel, if anyone can offer some insight on any differences between it and the show regarding gender, I would be very interested. Again, a great show and the way women have been depicted is no crime, just a bit of a disappointment for me.    

[issuethis-blog]

i am undertaking a quest that no one in their right mind would take.

i enjoy challenges and lately with a LOT of time off i've been looking for my next thrill. being a former workaholic i took on the most time consuming and excruciatingly tedious task. i decided to recreate a shirt i saw on net-a-porter by hand sewing hundreds of 5 millimeter sequins to a shirt. 

trust me there is no way it will look as good as my original example but whateves!

[issuethis-blog]

Finally freaking fall.  Been waiting to bust out the sweaters and scarves, which is a sweet southern California treat (make-believing we have seasons), this town just wasn't having it. October 2011 has been hot, cloud-free and breezeless--but yesterday, it finally became autumn, and it came full swing. It started in the morning when I let a maintenance man in and he hurried inside with a "Whew! It's cold outside". What a sweet phrase. To some people, just a little small-talk; but to me, it was like a messenger bringing news of the end of a drought. I, being the desperately eager fall-enthusiast I am, was already in my favorite sweater and a scarf after seeing it was the tiniest bit overcast, but these words got me in high spirits and a warm jacket too. After an awesome day in the coziest ensemble ever, I come home to find my room mate picked up pumpkins for carvin'. I carved this goofy, giant-nostril'd masterpiece above, and she, as an Illustration/Animation major, is doing the entire floating lantern scene from Disney's 'Tangled'; with the sky, castle, the couple in a boat, the latterns--everything! Haha, it's looking really awesome. But no photos of it, so you have to look at that thing :)

[issuethis-blog]

you know your wardrobe is wack when you have more outwear than tops. 

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Anyone can be boring.

-My mama

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the only dictionary you need

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Hot & Bothered Topic

I happened into a Hot Topic store yesterday and, aside from a Sailor Moon costume, the first thing I saw were the 6 posters on either side of the store. 3 on the guys' side, 3 on the gals'. What I saw upset me. The three on the female side were advertising the brand 'LOVEsick' and each one pictured a girl, with downcast eyes, sitting and moping. The name can leave us to assume over a guy. While, on the guys' side, the 3 posters were for a brand titled 'RUDE'. Two of the posters featured guys on stage, having fun, being active and the other was a shirtless guy not giving a care or showing respect for anything. 'That's all fine and dandy, why are your undies in a big ol' bunch Melanie?' First, the contrast of these posters were day and night. These images depict women as weak, and emotionally dependent on guys--guys that they portray to not give a hoot about anything. These women aren't out doing what they love, or having interests. They are just sitting there, shells without men while the guys go out and actually freakin' live. A sad, whiney-looking person on a couch does not make me want to buy a pair of jeans, or whatever these Twilight-omg-edward-dumped-me posters are trying to get kids to buy.

There is nothing beautifully tragic or deep about this pathetic ad campaign. It reflects poorly and unrealistically on women. It's 2011 guys, can we get past this blatant misogynist stuff yet? Is it getting worse? I don't know why I'm surprised, it was in a Hot Topic after all.     

[issuethis-blog]

i fought a lizard. and this time i won.

i wrote not too long ago about an incident with a lizard http://issuethis.tumblr.com/post/3802320001/i-fought-a-lizard-and-the-lizard-won. it was traumatic to say the least but recently i had another altercation with my arch enemy and this time i was somewhat triumphant. 

summer is prime lizard season. they are cold blooded and often come out to bask in the sun. during the summer i make sure i am extra cautious when the sun is out. summer is heaven for these monsters, they are everywhere.  which has forced me to start delinating zones based on their safety. near the front stairs is semi-safe, the area near the mailbox is unsafe, the area near the door is unsafe, the trash is ALWAYS unsafe (another reason to never take out the trash).

but the garage has always been a "safe zone". yesterday i went in the garage and lo and behold there it was, a lizard sitting next to a box in my "safe zone". i don't know what came over me, i opened the garage door. i grabbed a broom and withi swooped that little monster out of the garage and quickly rushed to close the garage door. even i am a little surprised by my courage but i suppose when you are being threatened, a woman has to do, what a woman has to do!

[issuethis-blog]

it's official. tell tale signs your brain has gone off the deep end.

in 500 Days of Summer Tom declares, "It's official. I'm in love with Summer". 

now most of us aren't as ridiculous as Tom. in fact i'd like to think no one is as ridiculous as Tom (if you've seen the movie you know what i mean). but sometimes even someone who is logical and rational and knows what they want out of life might be forced to admit that even if they would never say it out loud they would might be a little (ie. a lot) in love.

sometimes you just gotta shake off your pride and admit. you have lost it.

here's a list of tell tale signs that indicate you have lost it. 

1. loss of appetite. and by this i mean a SUBSTANTIAL loss of appetite. meaning food is no longer your friend, it is distracting. 

2. you are jittery. you often feel like you've drank 4 red bulls and their ain't no one who can stop you from dancing off the walls. 

3. sleep deprivation. kiss those hours of shut eye goodbye because even if you aren't thinking about someone, somehow you will have a very hard time getting even a few hours of sleep.

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what is netflix trying to tell me?

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decisions, decisions.

this summer it's all about things happening! meeting a guy, getting engaged, planning our wedding.

things. happening. quickly.

but now the big question still remains how am i going to transfer my last semester, find a place to live for five months and juggle school, work, teaching assistantship and exhibiting in september? these are questions i should be contemplating. 

i sort of am. but mostly i am really psyched about the new season of Downton Abbey. it all starts back up in September for all those (UK-ers) and January 8th for the rest of us. 

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weirdthingsisaytoboys:

i normally don't reblog stuff but this seriously needs to be circulated. both these dudes are funny as hale and they are at NY fashion week! 

[issuethis-blog]

apartment therapy!

ever since getting engaged one of the biggest things on my mind has been 1. my future husband 2. the wedding and 3. our future apartment. one and two are mostly covered but #3 is fickle. i recently added "interior design" to my stumbleupon pages and i can't help but feel this will provide the inspiration i need to figure out what our new grown up apartment could look like. 

[issuethis-blog]

Disney, Y U NO HAVE GIRL HEROES?

Saw these Disney Heroes coloring books recently. Although being advertised as 'GIANT', there wasn't room for any female characters to save the day. So it's a boy's coloring book, big deal right? Well, Kind of. It seems like women in the Disney universe are condemned to be princess-wives and damsels in distress forever. None of my coloring books as a child had only female characters, why shouldn't boy coloring books have a (non-sex object) girl or two?