[istaydreaming]

52/365

i need money like niggas need reparations thrown into situations with no preparation what im saying is that economic status is slanted due to what my ancestors allowed and have granted unintentionally, thru slavery without any amount of empathy 40 acres and a mule these promises were left emptily got me thinking heavily on a method to start taking it back everything thats owed to us is too hard to track so i figure my method might be just working for it all owned by corrupt capitalism til the day that i fall from the chains of slavery to chains of policed institutions painted with problems without given solutions to clear the confusion, living peacefully but history left my mind battered with contusions what am i doing? hoping and praying for some form of resolution? the scars of the past always affect the generation after same way the distribution of wealth gave finances to former slave masters searching hard for a way to escape this standard thats been plot out diggin deep to get the thought out the playing fields been unleveled ever since the start of this jump and the thought of it makes me sick puts my mind in a slump like what the fuck did i ever do to be viewed as demonic fuck your logic, your reasoning is psychotic chaotic be the mindset your presence is giving me adapting my culture then claim ya not into me its stressful and tiring, even in employment preconceived notions while hiring then got the nerve to say that we lazy and good for nothing havent seen an acre or a mule but imma get something it might not be whats owed but imma get what ill earn the same way karma takes its course and every racist will learn that im not asking for much rather an equal playing field and until the tables are matches; racism will always be real

[istaydreaming]

51/365

if youre privileged you wouldnt understand the price of hard work the smell of dirt on your hands the reasons behind why a body is aching in pain because you work with a foundation of wealth in which you can claim privilege can be any color not just subject to white even in the dark some of us are searching for light privilege can be car ownership, something that wasnt prevalent in my life aint have pencil sharpeners, resort to skinning the tip with a knife belts used to be a struggle tied mine with a shoe string from old kicks; whilst my peers flaunted, showing off their new thing peers provided privilege while poverty never pardoned me apathy kept me company, didnt need an apology still sittin sorrily since my senses seemed synthetic searching for empathy but everyones eyes was sympathetic sorry for the youth and the problems that he must confront and thats the problem with privilege since some of us are accustomed to none

[istaydreaming]

50/365

and deep down inside something tells me to keep love alive but what am i to do when its constantly passing me by? so in love with love that im caught up in the rhapsody of a fantasy when actually agony is attacking at my reality theres painstaking tribulations and problems im facing while this fake smile i hide behind needs constant maintaining so conflicted, ive numbed myself of most emotion so its hard to tell if someone loves me, are they devoted are they hopin for love the same way that i do the problem is that these issues got me straying from you these situations thats filled with complications got my mind racing and my heart aching oh woe is all i know on my travels from to and fro its enough to make mind blow and yo, i hate that i cant cast em aside all of these predicaments that be plaguing my mind but i know in true time that one day ill get over and up cause being in this rut is almost more than enough for me to put my head down and watch the emotions erupt but i want to do more than just wallow and suffer monochromatic lifestyle depressions sucking my color draining me of my hues, keepin me from you i gotta do something just not sure what to do

[istaydreaming]

49/365

Pain be a burden whenever im hurting

I start blurtin about shit that make me feel like i dont  have a purpose

Dark and wordless be my mask with the masses

Vast verbal apparatus with a class of dumb asses

Increasing his social status from class circumstances

Understand that he’s blessed but possessed by such sadness

Trying to find a balance between the heinous and harmony

I feel like the weight of the world is apart of me

And the history behind it is probably as dark as me

Got me grinding while life’s lullaby is exhaust me

Cause everybody dies, and that’s the song that it sings

Just hope that when I pass, god’ll give me my wings

Cause material things wont matter if im burning in hell

My mind’s a cell, when the pain cuts I feel like bidding farewell

I have to remain stronger and pray that these negative thoughts will subside

Muster up the courage and strength that I know I have buried down deep inside

[istaydreaming]

48/365

A guy with money’s probably one you prefer

And honestly I couldn’t argue, I’d much rather concur

In agreement with the idea of a financial safety net

Why I choke and cough off of a pack of cigarettes

Shopping for clothes, free food, even paying to get your make up

While working menial jobs and just praying to get my cake up

Pay cuts don’t matter with a 6 digit salary

While moneys running from me as if richness is an allergy

Living out of galleries, rooftop brunches

Realized its not a lot if you possess a couple hundred

A tragedy that someone’s wealth creates a fantasy

And actually it’s sad to see that I could treat you happily

Another love-war casualty, the pain is skyrocketing

Mind’s boggling, heart’s clogged again, verbally feel like vomiting

All of my emotions because everything seemed so promising

This heavy financial burdens seems to have halted the love’s blossoming

[istaydreaming]

47/365

Couldn’t wait to go home and create

Cause I know that I got a lot of things that my mind needs to make

Molding my thoughts, working hard to put em together

Hoping that these humble words could inspire forever

Cause I desire to remember everything my mind contains

Because everything aint always everlasting but memories tend to remain

So I hope the thoughts on my brain might be seen as reflective

And I pray for the better that all of them are respected

Because opinions can differ and that’s considered a fact

And thoughts can be interpreted a million ways as long as it’s abstract

So take what you want and take what you will

I’m just writing something praying it’s something you’ll feel

Painting a picture as I just pass the ideas

To any mind that’s linked with mind for as long as you care

Couldn’t wait to go home and reunite the with the pen

So that I could make something that links me to you again

[istaydreaming]

46/365

Hate being seen when I don’t even want to be noticed

Head in my hands half the time feeling so low and hopeless

Digging deep in my pain to derive at my destiny

Problematic and it’s plain, that death be my ecstasy

Life’s got the best of me feel like I’m at my worst

Dreaming of death as if I’ve fell asleep in a hearse

I want to feel better and I don’t want to wait

Just to rid the burdens on my mind that are followed by hate

This pain’s like a cancer that’s been fetching hold of my soul

It takes a toll, and I try to keep myself from losing all self control

Its like crying in public enough to make you sick to your stomach

It sucks doesn’t it? Feeling down and thinking that everyone's loves

Living life like a puppet, stranded  and people pulling your strings

Can’t help from feeling forlorn and quiet while wallowing, wishing for better things

Like the pain in my chest, hope to forget, praying for it all to subside

Feeling that the only cure I have  could be measured on whether I’m still alive

[black-culture]

I am worthy of love & support.

[istaydreaming]

45/365

they call it nonsense but i guess i cant feel nothing always the class clown was accustomed to being unproductive cause honest, it seems whenever i try my hardest i feel like everything is picture perfect, synonymous with flawless they throw dirt on my name in an attempt to try and tarnish but if you reap what you sow im trying to bring about a harvest and it aint easy, believe me roaming the world feeling as if nobody needs me all the while i keep my head up and forge a smile but if we traded shoes most people couldnt last a mile so if i have to work i cling to it like children do to their mothers im used to not having a thing, i grew up in the gutter and couldnt let the clutter bother to block out my thoughts instead i build a bridge from me to you to get my message across i know everyone's dealing with scars and being haunted by demons and the worst kinds of those are the ones that nobody be seeing i know that people are hurting and i wish that i held the cure but wishes dont come true learned that when i was young and so pure but the world started turning and over time i could see that theres more pain in this world than what just happens to me there's death, homelessness, the crippled, people dying from hunger i question and wonder for how long must these people suffer we can spend money on things that wont even matter tomorrow when people dealing with a fate thats even sadder than sorrow i know pain, and i try to keep it bottled inside but when i see those like me suffering, deep down i want to cry tears of empathy emphasizing all my compassion moved by the people whos faces were frozen and saddened pools of sorrow solemnly swallowed all their expressions i feel that being unable to help is like a form of oppression your problems are visible but i cant do a thing to help sympathizing from this couch is as close to you as i ever felt but thats the poet in me, crying and constantly caring while the real in me is honestly unbothered by what im just hearing murder scenes and hunger is all over the news but its funny how we're all unaffected until the shit happens to you

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

when you been mutuals w someone for 3 years but still dont know their name

[istaydreaming]

44/365

there must be more to life than careers and pay stubs cause whats a successful life if you cant find a real love a something i can feel love, not a stipulated deal love tend to my heart born scars, i want a real love a love that isnt hiding a love i dont have to chase a love that makes me feel as if there is no other place id rather be, a love i dont have to share that does right solely by me too many people seem to be for out here looking for everybody but when i come to it seems paystubs will never lie even if it aint love its just a different type of high money wont say goodbye unless you took the time to spend it no need pretending, money doesnt do the unfriending and best believe that sometimes money makes the best company seeing it stock up in an account honestly can comfort me addicted to possessions since love shows no attention for love or for money all depends on your perception

[hatzigsut]

the owner of this blog supports the uplifting and empowerment of black people.

[istaydreaming]

43/365

its seems to be a difficult feat trying to find words when its hard to speak hopin that copin by being a little more verbal will help me find ways to make it over this anti-social hurdle my minds going in circles the rabbit'll never freeze and continues to suck the sound every time i try to engage in speech im enraged but from my face you probably couldnt tell because of how passive i am when deep down i want to yell a face that exudes quiet and a mind that burns passion my mouth cant produce the words im not sure what happened im not sure if theres others that feel the way i do and if anything i wonder how it is they choose to continue to carry on with a fire thats burning inside their hearts but instead remain frozen and swallowed up by the dark i want to talk to all the people who are just like me blinded by society but united we see

[beyhive1992]

Solange, Julez, Alex Ferguson, Kelly Rowland, Tim Witherspoon, Usher, Alicia Keys, Swizz Beatz, Cassie, P. Diddy, Kendrick Lamar, Whitney Alford, Janelle Monae, Carmelo Anthony, LaLa Anthony, Serena Williams & Jourdan Dunn in New York heading to Beyoncé’s 35th Soul Train themed Birthday Party 05/09

[istaydreaming]

42/365

a star has been born isn't it miraculous? legends never die somethings never change the mind was made to persuade hoping to reach you of all the stars seen you are an ultralight beam vividly, you gleam two stars, worlds apart may the universe collapse if we both collide

[mesmeres]

[istaydreaming]

41/364

writers block will decay the mind and make the pen rot my synchronicity with my pen wont let the thoughts stop a blessing and a curse to think about the world so much wish i could put my mind on silent and let them thoughts hush quickly they come all of a sudden in a rapid rush until i shut my mind off and decide that enough is enough drinking and smoking sometimes suppresses my mindset numbing my body so that the pain cant find it so that im blinded to all the feelings that be revealing how much my souls in need of healing thinking about it every time that I exhale when I'm breathing im still believing in that there's still hope remaining in what im seeking my will to react and recover in search for a place that feels like it isn't similar to any other no description, all pessimism is hidden voyage through mental block became so uplifting