Alice Neumann

I'm a girl 🏳️‍⚧️ SCP foundation IT HoD Site-005, St. Ives (Cornwall England)

[it-angel]

I'm not changing my bio ever (aesthetically pleasing) but I work in 170 now 😛😛

[dr-novaetine]

yo name sound like novocaine

- Alice

I….

.

Fuck you. My name does not sound like that.

Shut up.

[it-angel]

it do

[dr-novaetine]

It does not?! How does it? Novaetine and novocaine sound nothing alike!

[it-angel]

Starts with N and ends with E.

Oughta use your brain a bit, aye doctor?

Lol

[dr-novaetine]

Who even are you, anyhow? I don’t recall knowing you…and there’s a lot of things that start with N and end with E, for your information.

[it-angel]

I'm Alice, I work IT for site-170. I'm a reaaaal hotshot over there

[dr-novaetine]

IT? Booorrrinnggg. Even more boring then when I used to work for ethics. Like what do yall do, scroll TikTok or somethin? We don’t even have an IT department over here, we just have many, many, MANY miles of archives.

[it-angel]

I'm... I'm just gonna assume you guys at least have an IT team at hand because I don't think a site can run on hopes and dreams when it comes to server outages, faulty computers, and pretty much every electronical issue.

If you guys really have neither I have to question how the fuck your site survived this long.

[dr-novaetine]

We just suck it up and fix everything ourselves. Who needs a whole department on that? What we NEED more of is archives. Jesus. Theirs too many over here.

[it-angel]

Do you guys just open a youtube tutorial whenever a server shits itself and hope it works

[dr-novaetine]

Yes.

[it-angel]

and how many times have you done so successfully

[dr-novaetine]

A lot, actually. YouTube tutorials can be very helpful.

[it-angel]

ykw I applaud you but jesus christ ask for an increase in funding if you have to pull up a tutorial for something like this 😭

[dr-novaetine]

yo name sound like novocaine

- Alice

I….

.

Fuck you. My name does not sound like that.

Shut up.

[it-angel]

it do

[dr-novaetine]

It does not?! How does it? Novaetine and novocaine sound nothing alike!

[it-angel]

Starts with N and ends with E.

Oughta use your brain a bit, aye doctor?

Lol

[dr-novaetine]

Who even are you, anyhow? I don’t recall knowing you…and there’s a lot of things that start with N and end with E, for your information.

[it-angel]

I'm Alice, I work IT for site-170. I'm a reaaaal hotshot over there

[dr-novaetine]

IT? Booorrrinnggg. Even more boring then when I used to work for ethics. Like what do yall do, scroll TikTok or somethin? We don’t even have an IT department over here, we just have many, many, MANY miles of archives.

[it-angel]

I'm... I'm just gonna assume you guys at least have an IT team at hand because I don't think a site can run on hopes and dreams when it comes to server outages, faulty computers, and pretty much every electronical issue.

If you guys really have neither I have to question how the fuck your site survived this long.

[dr-novaetine]

We just suck it up and fix everything ourselves. Who needs a whole department on that? What we NEED more of is archives. Jesus. Theirs too many over here.

[it-angel]

Do you guys just open a youtube tutorial whenever a server shits itself and hope it works

[dr-novaetine]

Yes.

[it-angel]

and how many times have you done so successfully

[dr-novaetine]

yo name sound like novocaine

- Alice

I….

.

Fuck you. My name does not sound like that.

Shut up.

[it-angel]

it do

[dr-novaetine]

It does not?! How does it? Novaetine and novocaine sound nothing alike!

[it-angel]

Starts with N and ends with E.

Oughta use your brain a bit, aye doctor?

Lol

[dr-novaetine]

Who even are you, anyhow? I don’t recall knowing you…and there’s a lot of things that start with N and end with E, for your information.

[it-angel]

I'm Alice, I work IT for site-170. I'm a reaaaal hotshot over there

[dr-novaetine]

IT? Booorrrinnggg. Even more boring then when I used to work for ethics. Like what do yall do, scroll TikTok or somethin? We don’t even have an IT department over here, we just have many, many, MANY miles of archives.

[it-angel]

I'm... I'm just gonna assume you guys at least have an IT team at hand because I don't think a site can run on hopes and dreams when it comes to server outages, faulty computers, and pretty much every electronical issue.

If you guys really have neither I have to question how the fuck your site survived this long.

[dr-novaetine]

We just suck it up and fix everything ourselves. Who needs a whole department on that? What we NEED more of is archives. Jesus. Theirs too many over here.

[it-angel]

Do you guys just open a youtube tutorial whenever a server shits itself and hope it works

[dr-novaetine]

yo name sound like novocaine

- Alice

I….

.

Fuck you. My name does not sound like that.

Shut up.

[it-angel]

it do

[dr-novaetine]

It does not?! How does it? Novaetine and novocaine sound nothing alike!

[it-angel]

Starts with N and ends with E.

Oughta use your brain a bit, aye doctor?

Lol

[dr-novaetine]

Who even are you, anyhow? I don’t recall knowing you…and there’s a lot of things that start with N and end with E, for your information.

[it-angel]

I'm Alice, I work IT for site-170. I'm a reaaaal hotshot over there

[dr-novaetine]

IT? Booorrrinnggg. Even more boring then when I used to work for ethics. Like what do yall do, scroll TikTok or somethin? We don’t even have an IT department over here, we just have many, many, MANY miles of archives.

[it-angel]

I'm... I'm just gonna assume you guys at least have an IT team at hand because I don't think a site can run on hopes and dreams when it comes to server outages, faulty computers, and pretty much every electronical issue.

If you guys really have neither I have to question how the fuck your site survived this long.

[dr-novaetine]

yo name sound like novocaine

- Alice

I….

.

Fuck you. My name does not sound like that.

Shut up.

[it-angel]

it do

[dr-novaetine]

It does not?! How does it? Novaetine and novocaine sound nothing alike!

[it-angel]

Starts with N and ends with E.

Oughta use your brain a bit, aye doctor?

Lol

[dr-novaetine]

Who even are you, anyhow? I don’t recall knowing you…and there’s a lot of things that start with N and end with E, for your information.

[it-angel]

I'm Alice, I work IT for site-170. I'm a reaaaal hotshot over there

[witchexia]

HAPPY 420 AND BDAY TO ME !!!

[dr-novaetine]

yo name sound like novocaine

- Alice

I….

.

Fuck you. My name does not sound like that.

Shut up.

[it-angel]

it do

[dr-novaetine]

It does not?! How does it? Novaetine and novocaine sound nothing alike!

[it-angel]

Starts with N and ends with E.

Oughta use your brain a bit, aye doctor?

Lol

[dr-ellen-quinn]

67

Huh? I'm confused??

I have heard some of my younger co workers saying "6 7" on some occasions but I never really understood what it meant... Is this a code that I don't know of?

[it-angel]

some kid said "67" and got shot a week later

[dr-novaetine]

yo name sound like novocaine

- Alice

I….

.

Fuck you. My name does not sound like that.

Shut up.

[it-angel]

it do

[it-angel]

surprisingly I don't make like half of the money I make from working my normal job they got me doing side quests.

had to third wheel @equate-to-nothing and @/amarah-mukhtar-rd on a romantic dinner date. for a buck.

cheat code

[drjiceberg]

I got shoved down a flight of stairs and became non responsive and presumed dead but we back. Whats up homo

Alice lol

just when I got my hopes up.

I’m glad to see you’re back and that you’re okay…

I suppose.

[it-angel]

Yeah well.. Not all of us get what we want, ey?

Like me. I got demoted.

[drjiceberg]

great. Three more demotions and you’ll be halfway down to my status…

[it-angel]

I'm technically at your level, dude. IT ranks aren't considered high, we're still low level trash to most people LOL.

[drjiceberg]

I got shoved down a flight of stairs and became non responsive and presumed dead but we back. Whats up homo

Alice lol

just when I got my hopes up.

I’m glad to see you’re back and that you’re okay…

I suppose.

[it-angel]

Yeah well.. Not all of us get what we want, ey?

Like me. I got demoted.

[witchexia]

An Apple a Day Keeps Simon Glass Dead

- leo, 2026

[officehoursofglass]

Happy (late) valentines day, doctor

My girlfriend sent me a bomb

-- alice IT girl

Ah, thank you Alice! Your girlfriend did what-?

[it-angel]

Not a real bomb, she sent me like.. An image bomb or whatever.

I was having a leisure time playing me some terraria and my girlfriend sent me a little message and when I opened the notification it froze my computer for like 10 seconds and then just crashed everything.

When I turned my computer back on and checked out everything it seemed fine and I went back to the message to see if it went back to normal and now it's on a loop of freezing and unfreezing and it's fucking annoying.

Love my girlfriend. Don't know how she did this.

[officehoursofglass]

Oh... you could try contacting IT?

[it-angel]

Girl.. I am IT

I'm the head of the department 😭

[officehoursofglass]

Well... uh, you could try contacting upper IT.....? Do we even have that...?

[it-angel]

God, I WISH. I have to figure this shit out myself

ts ts pmo

[officehoursofglass]

You could try turning it on and off again.....? :)

[it-angel]

Has anyone told you that you've got a very fist shaped face, doctor?

[officehoursofglass]

You know, Alto has actually. He's so funny :)

[it-angel]

Yeah, so funny

[officehoursofglass]

Happy (late) valentines day, doctor

My girlfriend sent me a bomb

-- alice IT girl

Ah, thank you Alice! Your girlfriend did what-?

[it-angel]

Not a real bomb, she sent me like.. An image bomb or whatever.

I was having a leisure time playing me some terraria and my girlfriend sent me a little message and when I opened the notification it froze my computer for like 10 seconds and then just crashed everything.

When I turned my computer back on and checked out everything it seemed fine and I went back to the message to see if it went back to normal and now it's on a loop of freezing and unfreezing and it's fucking annoying.

Love my girlfriend. Don't know how she did this.

[officehoursofglass]

Oh... you could try contacting IT?

[it-angel]

Girl.. I am IT

I'm the head of the department 😭

[officehoursofglass]

Well... uh, you could try contacting upper IT.....? Do we even have that...?

[it-angel]

God, I WISH. I have to figure this shit out myself

ts ts pmo

[officehoursofglass]

You could try turning it on and off again.....? :)

[it-angel]

Has anyone told you that you've got a very fist shaped face, doctor?

[officehoursofglass]

Happy (late) valentines day, doctor

My girlfriend sent me a bomb

-- alice IT girl

Ah, thank you Alice! Your girlfriend did what-?

[it-angel]

Not a real bomb, she sent me like.. An image bomb or whatever.

I was having a leisure time playing me some terraria and my girlfriend sent me a little message and when I opened the notification it froze my computer for like 10 seconds and then just crashed everything.

When I turned my computer back on and checked out everything it seemed fine and I went back to the message to see if it went back to normal and now it's on a loop of freezing and unfreezing and it's fucking annoying.

Love my girlfriend. Don't know how she did this.

[officehoursofglass]

Oh... you could try contacting IT?

[it-angel]

Girl.. I am IT

I'm the head of the department 😭

[officehoursofglass]

Well... uh, you could try contacting upper IT.....? Do we even have that...?

[it-angel]

God, I WISH. I have to figure this shit out myself

ts ts pmo