My Mel and Langdon thoughts and why I think they’re such a good match:
Mel is soft and gentle and kind yes, but she’s almost guarded and hardened when it comes to her own needs/wants and being cared for.
Mel is a caretaker; she helps, she fills gaps for people where needed, she takes on responsibility for others, she sacrifices and carries far more than she’d ever let on or call attention to. Her softness lives in what she GIVES, not in what she asks for necessarily. And because of that, people have often mistaken her for someone who doesn’t need much at all. She becomes overlook, she becomes easy to lean. But she’s not used to being cared for, someone checking in on her, someone noticing.
He notices the small shifts with her, her mood shifting, her eyes wondering, when she’s feeling overwhelmed, when she’s becoming anxious, how she keeps going when she should stop and then he steps in and offers care to her instead of from her. He tells her to take a break, he validates, he checks in, he gives her space, he creates a space for her emotions. Ontop of that, what matters more is how he offers cares for her. He doesn’t step in and take over for her, he doesn’t diminish her, infantilize her, criticize. He sees her capabilities, how much she cares and supports without ever taking that away from her. He highlights her strengths while quietly making the space a place she can breathe inside.
Every time he offers her care, asks how she is and waits for the answer, provides moments of. Validation or support you can see something shift in Mel. It literally takes her aback because she’s not used to that. For someone like Mel, those moments are so meaningful. Overtime, those moments and someone like Langdon she can soften in a different way. Not just in what she gives, but in what she allows herself to receive.
Now Langdon-so often we see him confident, cocky, quick with a comment always ready to prove himself. There’s an edge to him sometimes like he’s anticipating being challenged and trying to defend himself.
But with Mel, he doesn’t have to work to prove himself. She sees he’s capable, she never questions it, she believes in him. And Mel being who she is she believes in people she’s not trying to question or challenge who someone is, she accepts and so Langdon doesn’t have to reach for the same defenses he does with other people. When you feel safe, you don’t need to reach for your defenses.
Mel also does such a good job of modeling softness and humility that she creates a space for him to feel like he can be soft. And she doesn’t demand it either, It’s not a demand on him it’s an opening for him. And the shift in him is subtle but real. He slows down with Mel, he listens, he’s more present and less reactive, his natural leadership and silliness and groundless comes out and shines around Mel.
And you see just how much she matters to him in the choices he makes. After everything, after rehab, he doesn’t go around offering apologies freely but he goes to her. And when she tells him, “you never let me down,” those words hit him in a way he’s not used to. Because he is used to proving himself, to being questioned, to feeling like he has to earn his place. But she doesn’t ask that of him. She just believes him. Believes in him. And for maybe the first time, he’s met with someone who looks at him and says, without hesitation, you’re enough as you are. You have nothing to prove.
Langdon teaches Mel it’s safe to need; you don’t have to carry it all, it’s safe to be cared for.
Mel teaches Langdon its safe to be soft; it’s ok not to have it all together, you can be messy and get it wrong and mess up and still be capable
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