he's dead, jim

archive, inactive

[itadakimassachusetts]

i think a lot abt how brady wants to be Stronger and carry his weight in battle versus how disgusted w/themselves owain and inigo are for having killed so many people that they've lost count and become desensitized to it unless they stop and make themselves think abt what they've done

[itadakimassachusetts]

quick sloppy mkids/fea class charts b/c i've been talking w/jess abt this au all day and i'm trash

the * next to meiya's dark mage class is b/c there's a period where he's a mandatory dark mage (ie during the worst youichi bits b/c he's killing on youichi's orders and figures dark magic gets it done better), i couldn't come up w/a concise descriptor for sys' default class--is clergy even a gender neutral word??  the point is that they're a priest/cleric only nb.  shiho is a bear taguel and can be a female fighter because Hella

[itadakimassachusetts]

misterdictator replied to your post:you can tell how confident i am in sharing my...

you use the question marks even on your own children…

#swagyoloswag

[itadakimassachusetts]

you can tell how confident i am in sharing my Opinions on a character/headcanons/subject in general by the number of sentences that end??  like this??  because i'm not sure if i'm horribly misinterpreting things??

[itadakimassachusetts]

i am becoming increasingly attached to the "awkward gay chrom who never expected to have to marry and produce heirs but who also never expected to have a relationship w/a dude b/c lol prince" fanon Uhm [sad sax notes]

i hate doing Sad Queers but since intsys has gone ahead and crushed my dreams pls consider, for instance, chrom with 90% Mad Gay sumia in love with an ideal of him but coming to respect the actual man as she gets to know him b/c i am garbage like??  awkwardly and implicitly playing beards for each other except they're also married with children whoosp  idk his romantic supports all ring so awkward and hollow to me, like he's jumping the gun and deciding that "yes i respect this woman and enjoy her companion/friendship, these are a+ grounds for marriage b/c at least it's not something arranged to someone i've never met"?  which is Really Upsetting, esp when you consider chrom + wife both very clearly and deeply love lucina and their other child, but their own romantic relations are just [spaghetti everywhere] mmmmmfff idk i lost where i was going w/this beyond the fact that this makes chrom/his duty the Tru otp

alternatively the most purely platonic femrobin/chrom you can imagine b/c she Knows and he knows she knows but also doesn't have to justify himself to her or fear that she thinks he's selfish or w/e idekkkkk chrom with a "whAT IF I'M NOT WORTHY OF HER IDEALS" complex is much more interesting to me than the idea that his confidence goes all the way down

[itadakimassachusetts]

waxing philosophical abt my anime robot child

sys' plant motifs are getting stronger in my conceptualization of them, i think? esp in terms of how their magic looks.  tho i guess it's a reasonable connection to make given their magic concept itself is a word tied a lot to nature/plant growth??  natural from the unnatural wwww

eventually i think they'd stop considering themselves unnatural, given that humans themselves are also given life by humans?  they have no desire to Be Human, but for a long time they consider themselves inherently inferior.  i'd say that stems more from their feeling that they weren't meant to be part of their first class (who all loved them) and that they were formatted so many times in an attempt to destroy their magic/free will, as opposed to it being part of their programming--it's sort of psychosomatic, i guess? they think they're still bound by their servile programming to be "below" the other kids, and they're so scared of alienating the rest of the class with their nonhuman status, b/c they've just had it hammered into them that they did their first class no favors by using their insider knowledge to help everyone graduate so cleanly and quickly.  idk where i'm even going with this beyond the fact that sys w/plant motifs is v pretty but i feel like they def work a lot in some university greenhouse or s/t when they're working in england hhhhh  

sys chatting idly w/a bunch of plants at like 4am b/c they don't sleep and talking to plants is a thing they do??  i try to think a lot abt how sys' mindset really would be different from a person's, esp once they come to accept themselves more and shift their self-image to a proactive caretaker role, and i def think the way they interact w/living things would be much broader? l ike they talk to meiya's dog the same way they'd talk to meiya, but they also understand that dogs have different means of communication and different priorities/schema of understanding??

[itadakimassachusetts]

the more i think abt it, i actually kind of like how bare-bones the whole grima dealio is?  like he's an antagonist centered around destruction and Generic Evil for the sake of evil, and that makes the whole struggle that much more abhorrent in a way?  gangrel and walhart as sub-antagonists had pretty decent motivations--plegia had been horribly mistreated by ylisse (though i would have liked to see more admission to that and less har har look how Nefarious gangrel is b/c him comparing himself to chrom was Really Interesting), and walhart sought the fairly stock goal of conquest/power, but that's a thing that actually happens.  so i feel like for the Good Guys, fighting those two has some sort of purpose, there's an understanding that war is awful and harmful but that the alternative will be even worse for the common ylissean.  with grima, especially for the future kids, there is literally no point--their parents died for the sake of baseless, wanton destruction, their world was completely destroyed Just Because.  in a weird way, at least imo, that makes it even scarier and more awful that there is this one-dimensional representation of Pure Evil who's only there to cause suffering.  i'm not sure i'm articulating this well, and i'm not implying that this is what the writers were going for in writing such a generic Big Bad (b/c i doubt it), though.  just that it's an interesting way to look at things from an in-universe perspective, i guess?

tho on the flipside i can imagine the future kids especially have a huge extra beef with walhart for being willing to trample over so many human lives for the sake of something as petty (to them) as geopolitical clout?  hmmm

[itadakimassachusetts]

mkids/danron au hhahahaha

highlights include ibuki/enma/harumi as trial point getters, youichi blowin his cover way too early and killing sei (she comes back Wrong), meiya freaking out and begging monobear for a redo trial for days after youichi's execution, himeko manipulating meiya into killing sys indirectly ala sdr2 ch 5, sys knowing and letting it happen in hopes that their death will unify the survivors, meiya literally begging to be executed when everything comes to light in trial but himeko getting incriminated anyways, himeko not even caring abt her own death, either satoshi or shiho mercy killin meiya and turnin themselves in (haha morino i'm sorry, you were always the better person), and masTERMIND ENMA

he regrets it halfway through, esp as he starts getting attached to ibuki and satoshi, but it's too late, this is the route he's picked, so he'll have to wait for an ng+ to start over again

[itadakimassachusetts]

also as a note, this is a personal/shitposts blog?  i know ppl have been popping in b/c of tumblr's new search system, but really this is 90% ocs and shitposting with a healthy side of much smaller fandoms

[itadakimassachusetts]

i just want this on hand for my own opinions re: inigo and severa and how Tired i am of them either getting completely vilified or completely glorified when their arcs are really similar re: the different flavors of douchey problematic bullshit they coat themselves in, just a c/p from twitter

[bangs bongos] yr not supposed to condone inigo's entitled behavior, literally nobody does, how are you getting the idea that it's glorified by the narrative when the whole point is that most of his female supports are deliberately written to be uncomf b/c he needs to get his head out of his asshole and grow up, which he does do in the ending proper and in the future past [smashes bongos onto stage]  i know the dlc are ambiguously canon but laurent p much hits it on the head and calls inigo right outie on being disingenuous and using his whole shitty nice guy casanova schtick to hide that he can't face the fact that not everyone is going to give him approval.  and like?? inigo totally agrees w/him?? doesn't try to make excuses for behavior he clearly knows is bad aughhgh the whole point of his char is that he's a good kid with a huge capacity for love but he's playing a really gross role to coddle himself from the possibility of getting hurt, and that he has to get over that.  

it's the exact same thing as severa getting over her tsundere bullshit--she's one of my faves, too, but lbr she says some pretty shitty stuff to people, consistently forces her ideologies on others (hmm where else have we seen that), and can be downright cruel.  nobody condones that tho!! she's consistently called out on how gross her anta baka schtick is, esp since she uses it for the same reasons--to selfishly avoid the chance of putting her neck out in the emotional sense.  

severa and inigo both have really good arcs in getting the fuck over themselves to let their best qualities shine, so it drives me nuts that inigo becomes either a kawaii seekrit gay baby who can do no wrong or a creepy asshole who just wants sex (which he.....doesn't lmao) and severa is held up as this glorified ~misandry~ icon b/c haha it's okay if female chars are abrasive and spiteful and selfish to others!!  it's cool because she's Empowered even tho the same behavior in male chars would instantly be recognizes as Not Okay.  sorry, i'm just not about the business of holding female characters to lower/different standards riddled in tropey bullshit or excusing shitty actions just because they come from a woman, and that somehow female characters can't be allowed to fuck up or do gross things b/c everyone has to be one of our perfect preshus Ladies.  

fea is far, far, faaaaar from perfect in the character tropes department, but i'd say severa and inigo are big successes in that they tear the tropes they could have easily represented in one dimension a new asshole.  like they're genuinely great kids but pls don't ignore the problematic shit they do but also don't sweep it under the rug and pretend they're just poor misunderstood babies??

[itadakimassachusetts]

mia dragged me into fea momswap au hell and i

i put in fem!robin so that there would be an even 12, since lucina is tied to chrom.  she stays the same, but noire is now her cousin and her potential siblings are nah, owain, morgan, severa, and gerome.  kids inherit the class that the original kid would have--so for instance, nah is a tactician and noire is a myrmidon.  everyone also gets their new mom's hair colour.  everyone.  even gerome.  especially gerome,  some thoughts abt the kids in this au:

- nah may or may not have amnesia?  i could see it going either way tbh.  she still feels a pressure to grow up too fast, since being "childish" would impede her from being the ideal tactician, but ofc she has her lapses as she does in canon b/c she really is trying to play a role, though she is overall a responsible kid.  probably a more ruthless tactician than robin in some ways, though never to the point where she'd be okay with making big sacrifices to win in a faster/more underhanded way.  not so secretly a huge mama's girl, since robin is obvs the kind of person she wants to Grow Up to be.

- noire is still quiet and has her lapses in courage, but is overall much more confident in a soft but determined way.  feels her role as royalty (no matter how distant from the throne she is) a lot more keenly than owain seems to in canon, and so always tries to chip in a little extra to make things easier for lucina.  no alternate personality mumbo-jumbo, though she does have a bit of a temper and will lose it if pushed too far--usually, if she gets mad, it's for someone else's sake, though, as she feels like a lot less of a burden than tharja-mothered noire does in canon.

- morgan is still the king of the mama's boys, since sully is a really strong female presence in his life ofc.  tbh he's not too different, though he aspires to be a cavalier who can do his mother proud rather than a tactician, and he has all his memories intact.  spoils his horse rotten, favors the sword as opposed to sully favoring the lance.

- owain takes being a priest Very Seriously, and is constantly making ridiculous, long-winded supplications to naga to diSPENSE HER MIGHTY LOVE AND JUSTICE THROUGH THE HUMBLE CONDUIT OF HIS STAFF HAND.  claims to be a renowned exorcist who has banished many a force of darkness, plays cello to maribelle's violin.  he's a lot more at ease than brady is about being a healer, and frequently reminds everyone that healing is its own kind of battle against the vERY FORCES OF DEATH ITSELF.

- kjelle is the world's most ridiculously fit mage--she keeps her sort of superiority complex, but believes it's important for her body to be in top shape so that she has the edge over other mages and can keep up with everyone else.  still ridiculously blunt, probably drives miriel up the wall with her less than meticulous habits.  she does inherit her mom's love of learning, only with a more colloquial, hands-on slant.  dealt surprisingly well with the business of being sent back an extra three years, and considers herself a big sister to everyone else to the point where she tries to overcompensate for the "weaker" kids, as in canon.  also she has megane b/c yeAH

- severa is a pegasus knight because she's hellbent on making sure that her mother's legacy is never forgotten.  keeps her abrasiveness to an extent, but doesn't have the sourness or the hangups she has as cordelia's daughter.  very outspoken about how much she loves sumia and is constantly pushing her to realize her own skill/worth and be more up-front about it.  in general a bit more approachable and honest about her feelings, even if she doesn't always express them in the most tactful fashion.

- brady either scares the shit out of people or gives them the irresistible urge to play with his ears.  claims to hate this, but secretly loves it when people say he's cute and cuddly-looking instead of scary.  a lot more at ease with himself in some ways because taguel don't have to adhere to human standards of delicacy.  feels the burden of being the last taguel, only he channels that into wanting to represent his/panne's race as proudly as possible in battle, so that even if he dies, the taguel will go down in history as having been brave and helpful to the very end.

- yarne obviously couldn't become a pegasus knight in cordelia's footsteps, and develops a bit of a complex regarding it and what exactly his identity is then supposed to be.  bases a lot of his actions off of what he thinks his mom would do, since he still wants to emulate her in as many ways as possible.  he's always worried that if he can't be like cordelia, he has no idea what the world expects of him, or even what he expects of himself.

- cynthia is still into being a hero--she's tired of stories where the dragon is the villain, so she wants to be a good guy like tiki and her mom.  indulges nowi in literally every weird habit of hers, and the two of them choreograph an entire synchronized transformation routine with catchphrases and everything.  she did have to grow up faster than the others in some ways, like nah does in canon, and is even more into living in the moment because she knows that she'll outlive the other future kids by a tremendous margin.

- laurent is even more stressed-out and deeply lonely as tharja's son--he's much more withdrawn, to the point where he sometimes borderline disassociates through his research.  desperately wants his mother's approval, but is fully cognizant of how awful she is at the same time.  staunchly refuses to ever be a dark mage--the only time he uses magic is to counteract tharja's curses, a pursuit he labors at feverishly.  because he's so self-aware, he has a deep-seated fear of being like tharja, which causes him to keep people at arm's length even as he longs to be accepted unconditionally.

- gerome is pretty similar to his canon self--he's still very fatalistic and wears the mask for the same reasons.  ofc secretly wants to be a dancer, but dismisses his own dreams as petty and self-centered in the context of a war-torn world, where he's much more useful as a merc.  his sense of aesthetics def comes out stronger in this au imo, though again he tries doggedly to channel it into "practical" applications like working on weapons.  without minerva to fall back on as a constant companion, he's not quite as good at keeping himself emotionally distant, and opens up to olivia/his father a lot faster b/c he feels the loneliness a lot more keenly.

- inigo is still a shameless and disingenuous flirt to cover up his shyness, though of course the number one girl in his heart will always be darling minervykins.  absolutely lavishes her in affection, and is very aware of the fact that they're each other's last link to cherche.  resents the idea that he's in some way morbid or weird just because he's a wyvern rider and thus stuck wearing all black, and is still all about smiles and flowers and maybe threading those flowers into minerva's saddle.  even more of a shameless mama's boy b/c lbr cherche would def indulge that, though i think he'd grow out of his shitbaby flirtation phase a lot faster b/c she'd nip that right in the bud.  

[itadakimassachusetts]

i was thinking abt severa/lucina this morning because i'm yuri trash and i realized severa would probably hate herself for falling for fuckin chrom's daughter of all ppl :')))  lucina takin severa's hands in hers and saying that she's not her father any more than severa is her mother :'))))  

the two of them getting together post-canon and there's no complications because lucina isn't a crown princess now, she's just a woman :')))))))))))))))))

[itadakimassachusetts]

jess and i were txting abt an ong/fea au, highlights of which include tactician!marcel sittin myrmidon!leander down and his cool big bro demeanour actually crackin a bit as he apologizes for selfishly bringing a kid into a warzone

leander getting super-indignant abt it b/c he's not!!!  a child!!! (yes he is lmfa o) and he is here to Protect marcel's honour even tho he has a total breakdown the first time he actually kills someone b/c all this time he's been very deliberately avoiding acknowledging the fact that the sword is first and foremost an instrument of killing

meanwhile troubadour!nadine is sour as hell abt her job b/c she knows she was only allowed to take it in the first place b/c her parents don't care and it's ladylike enough that it won't damage or call into question the family reputation............she rides her lil pony like a fuckin warhorse and when she promos to valkyrie she has absolutely no qualms w/taking lives, only ever heals leander and marcel b/c haha she has absolutely no nurturing healing instinct

[itadakimassachusetts]

i started thinking on twitter abt an au where the future kids are summer camp counselors and i got a little………….carried away……….

- gerome and laurent are the head counselors, possibly the only ones keeping the entire fucking camp running  

- their off days coincide once and when they come back, all the canoes are stuck on the lake w/o paddles and kjelle made lunch and everything sucks

- everyone mistakes nah for a camper and one time some kids tell on her to laurent for “stealing” a counselor shirt

- brady’s supposed to be in charge of the first aid station but ends up being the one sent there most often

- lucina takes her kids dead seriously and ends up leading a larp war against owain’s kids, a completely unironic larp war, she is out there in a polka dot picnic blanket dueling owain on top of a jungle gym while their campers watch

- kjelle’s campers hang off her biceps, severa yells at everyone involved but keeps every gift her kids give her

- some asshole put yarne w/the youngest kids and he’s scared shitless of them even tho they worship the ground he walks on

- cynthia and inigo running the end of summer talent show byeeeeeee cynthia’s the announcer and gives all the kids custom entrances

- inigo offering to go up on stage w/kids who are too nervous to go by themselves, no matter what their act is __(:3_/

- noire surprises everyone by volunteering to take the sports station and she passes out like three times a week but has a ton of fun

- gerome also runs the crafts/home ec station fuckin fight me he actually gets worried that all the kids hate him b/c he doesn’t really know how to interact w/them on their level, but by the end of the summer tho they’re crawling all over him and he’s just

v small indulgent smile

- laurent writing newsletters home to the parents at the end of every week as the camp director byeeeeee they’re like triple the length they’re supposed to be b/c he does a write-up for every group about what they did and anything any particular kids really enjoyed

- lucina’s campers do a fashion show for their group skit at the talent show and lucina is their model—she would actually wear half the outfits they put her in on a day-to-day basis and nobody is really sure what to say about that

- brady ends up being that one counselor that every fuckin kid wants pushing them on the swings, has deeply involved conversations w/every kid he pushes even tho he always complains when they ask him

- nah is the lifeguard and aggressively ignores the fact that she’s technically too short for the Deep End of the pool

- she excommunicates cynthia from the pool for starting a diving contest and doing a backflip cannonball off the board

- cynthia is back the next day and teaching her kids how to perform the sickest kickflip instead of teaching them breast stroke

- cynthia does not get to teach her own campers swimming lessons after that

- severa and kjelle’s kids have the world’s most heated canoe race it is like a fuckin naval battle out there

- water day happens and inigo spends the entire time with yarne and like 20 kids clinging to/hiding behind him, he very bravely takes the hits for everyone and “dies” dramatically in yarne’s arms (one of his campers actually starts crying)

- someone (owain) pops a water balloon down the back of laurent’s shirt probably

- at the end of camp one of severa’s kids introduces her to their parents and the mom pulls her aside to say that she made her kid’s summer so much happier, severa actually starts crying in front of the parents lmfao byeeee her waterproof mascara is running she can never show her face again

- owain helps his kids come up w/ridiculous codenames and hand-makes each of them a little badge with said codename, they are now all official justice cabal cadets!!

- yarne running the petting zoo (do most camps even have petting zoos or was that just the one i worked at once lmfao)

- one of the bunnies has babies and his kids name every baby after him

- some lil kid runs up to laurent and goes “yARNE JUST POOPED ON MEEE” and he has to stop for a sec before he realizes the kid meant the bunny, actually starts cracking up and all the kids look at him like he’s grown another head

- kjelle takes her kids on an Xtreme Hardcore Nature Walk and one of them twists their ankle so she carries them all the way back to camp

- inigo picking flowers w/a bunch of little kids and teaching them how to make flower crowns byEYEYYEE

- cARNIVAL DAY

- gerome takes off his sunglasses and literally every camper thinks he's a special guest even tho he's still wearing his counselor shirt

- cynthia and inigo play along w/the kids and pretend he's some really important visitor, even the older campers eat that shit right up

- noire being in charge of the prize stations during carnival day but nobody can beat her at any of the games, even when she tries to lose

- also she made all the cakewalk cakes and like half the other counselors spend the day trying to steal them

- lucina volunteers to be in the dunk tank, brady somehow gets stuck at the "pie a counselor station" even tho owain and inigo said they'd take his place later on in the day (u been punked brady)

- at one point lucina and severa are both in the dunk tank and severa screams so loud the first time she gets dunked that someone else comes running with the first aid kit b/c she sounded like a kid getting grievously injured

- kjelle does the face-painting station and gives all the kids intricate abstract war paint instead of like. rainbows and cat whiskers b/c this is how you do makeup right severa

- laurent lets a camper give him a clown nose and walks around the entire day w/it in good grace

- island campout for the older kids.........they canoe to an island in the middle of the lake and get to stay the night in tents

- cynthia and noire have a ghost story face-off except none of their stories are scary at all, so everyone around the campfire is just laughing until nah gets up and tells one of those "scary stories to tell in the dark" type things

- some kid cries at the end

wait no that's noire crying

- uhhhh the morgans are counselors in training and literally everyone just calls them "the morgans", they're the ones who help set up every event b/c otherwise it'd just be laurent and gerome doing all the work themselves lmfao

- field day more like everyone is dying except kjelle day

- they have a staff planning meeting and she in all seriousness suggests a weightlifting competition

is kjelle even real

- it's like the hottest day in the entire summer, noire passes out twice before she's confined to the staff lounge b/c it has ac

- gerome Deeply Regrets wearing black long pants and a black long-sleeve shirt underneath his camp counselor shirt

- he passes out too and kjelle princess carries him to the staff lounge b/c she's the only one tall/strong enough to pick him up

- inigo snapchats it and draws a princess dress/tiara on gerome and a suit of armour on kjelle, sends it to everyone else on staff

- after this whole debacle laurent gives up and declares a movie day, owain and cynthia lobby fiercely for the third showing of the incredibles since the start of camp

- they end up watching lilo and stitch and they actually have to pause the movie at the end b/c brady is crying so hard

- afterwards, one of his campers asks him if he's ever killed anyone or if he has "cobra bubbles" tattooed across his knuckles

- counselors have their own movie night and watch titanic, inigo and owain re-enact half the movie at the pool the next day

- they get way too into it and have an Intense Moment clinging to a kickboard in the shallow end

- nah excommunicates them from the pool, too

- some of the kids get into doing the girl counselors' hair during free time, lucina spends an entire day with four pigtails, somehow yarne ends up with a beautiful braid that's actually just three big chunks of his hair tied into a knot

- severa puts her kids through beauty bootcamp before they're even allowed to look at her hair but then always keeps the styles they give her

- owain and inigo both have summer bdays so.........their campers throwing them parties.............drAWING THEM CARDS IN ARTS AND CRAFTS........half of them spell owain's name wrong but he doesn't care at all

- whenever a camper has a bday noire helps that kid's group make/decorate cupcakes the night before

- lucina running the mailroom and helping kids who can't read v well through letters from their parents

- the morgans run the canteen and have ridic weekly contests like jelly bean jar guessing games

- who in the fresh hell puts precisely 872 jelly beans into a jar, where did they even find precisely 872 jelly beans

- the moral of this story is never make summer camp counselor aus you'll get invested and die

[itadakimassachusetts]

okay i promised myself i wouldn't relate IRIS to sys but this is literally sys

[itadakimassachusetts]

fea/pacrim tho.........think abt it...........

first gen were pilots in the glory days of the jaeger program until pairs started getting picked off one by one as kaiju suddenly got way smarter, future kids are the pilots of the last six jaegers with morgan as their mission control due to robin's Mysterious Disappearance (their amnesia wasn't amnesia they were maDE BY THE KAIJU MASTERS TO LEARN HOW HUMANS THINK OOHHHHH).  thinkin pilot pairs are lucina/cynthia (sisters), severa/kjelle, noire/nah, laurent/gerome, inigo/owain, and yarne/brady?  everyone is in everyone else's head somehow b/c they were all more or less raised communally to be child soldiers after their parents' deaths, lots of awful hangups and even more despair b/c there's no time travel to set things right, this etch a sketch has no hope of being undid--all they can do is try to make something new out of the wreckage.  :'))))

[itadakimassachusetts]

for my own reference, future kids ages from oldest to youngest?  not taking into account laurent timetravel bullshit boogaloo, i'm just taking lucina's bday as the "start" point and then ordering the kids' births following that.  i don't think they were all born within the same year, especially given lucina's sibling has to be at least a year or so younger than her, so this is just a rough timeline w/my headcanon ages for them when their paralogues and such open

lucina - 4/20, 18

laurent - 4/25, 18+3

(morgan - 5/5, 16)

cynthia - 5/14, 16

owain - 7/15, 17

inigo - 8/7, 17

gerome - 9/1, 17

kjelle - 9/29, 18

noire - 10/7, 17

severa - 1/21, 17

brady - 2/22, 17

yarne - 3/14, 16

nah - 3/29, 15