it's kind of a long story

erika • story-teller • curious to the point of impertinence • any pronouns

[italianamerikan]

You were thinking of deleting this side blog? Don't do it. It'll be like burning your diaries. There's deep Erika lore here. A snapshot of when you were a youth. Why did you stop posting to it?

At this point I've been posting just about everything to my main blog. I could go back to this one at some point, I suppose.

[italianamerikan]

Story Time:

The first time someone stomped on my heart (with cleats)

This guy is married now, and it’s been like… sheesh, eight years!  

I was thirteen when I met him (again), and fourteen when we told each other we liked each other. (He’s about 2 years older than me, so keep this in mind).

I say I met him “again” because his parents and my parents have been friends for years, but I only really retained memories of his younger sisters from when I was younger. They’ve always lived a while away (like two whole states), so we only got to see them now and then.

Anyway, I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend till I was 16 (If I were to go back in time and choose for myself, I would have said 18), so we talked on the phone and emailed a lot but never adopted the labels of “boyfriend and girlfriend.” Also he lived two freaking states away from me, so that put a huge damper on it too.

I’m going to call him Jordan.

After about two years (at this point I was a handful of months away from my sixteenth birthday), Jordan called me one day and said, “Hey, this girl asked me out. I wanted to check with you before I said anything.”

In my head I was like, “Well, I can’t go on any dates with him anytime soon, and I’m not going to deprive him of the experience, so why not?” I gave him a “Sure, go ahead.”

He called me the coolest person ever, and then we continued to normal conversation.

Fast-forward about a week or two. I called his house, and his sister answered.

“Can I talk to Jord?” I asked.

“Uh… He’s on a date with Denise.”

uh what? “Who’s Denise?”

“Oh, his girlfriend.”

…

um EXQUEEZE ME?

“His… girlfriend?”

“Yeah, they started dating a little while ago. I thought he told you.”

So when he said she “asked him out,” I was thinking, “Oh, one date. That’s fine,” but he’d meant that she wanted to be his frEAKING GIRLFrIEND.

But here’s the icing on the bullcrap cake: I logged in to my facebook later that same week (planning to confront Jordan over messages, since I couldn’t get in touch over the phone), and was greeted with a picture of JorDAN KISSiNG SOME RANDOM GIRL IN A PHOTO BOOTH. I mean wHAT THE ACTUAL POOP?

When we finally talked, I told him he could’ve at least given me a heads-up, like, “Hey, I know we’re not officially dating, but I want to kind of… break up,” or “I found someone closer to me that I’m interested in dating. Don’t be surprised if you see pictures of us together on facebook,” or literally anything to warn me.

He apologized, and I didn’t talk to him again for a while, except to tell him it was a mistake to date outside of our church. (As my mom says, “You date your friends, and you marry who you date,” and we believe that we can be married forever instead of “till death,” but it’s only possible if both spouses are members of our church & are worthy to attend the temple. Some people are lucky and it all works out for them, but most other people are slowly pulled away from the church by their non-member spouses & in-laws.)

And he got married last year to a really cool girl who somehow managed to convince him to get a cat.

[italianamerikan]

UPDATE: His (now ex) wife is NOT cool. She’s abusive and terrible, and they’re split up. Sad thing is, they have a son now, and she’s an absolute witch to Jordan.

He kept the cat.

[italianamerikan]

So we got some bad news today

We don’t know how bad until the biopsy comes back, but my dad has metastatic cancer in his liver. (He just had his gallbladder removed today, and that’s how they found out.)

On a lighter note, have a funny story that resulted from learning the news:

My mom told us separately. She had to wait until I was done at work to tell me. 

I had to ask what “metastatic” meant. She explained, then she said, “He has to go see an oncologist soon.” And then she started to explain what an oncologist does.

I interrupted and said, “I know what an oncologist does; I watch House.”

She laughed because earlier, she tried to explain to my brother what “metastatic” meant, and he said, “I know what metastatic means; I watch House.”

NOTE: It’s been about a week since I drafted this post, so it’s no longer “today.” We’re still waiting for biopsy results among other things, but one thing I love about my family is we still have a good sense of humor when things get dark.

[italianamerikan]

We had a bonfire because we're moving, and we had old props from my sisters' high school musical and scrap wood we wanted to burn.

The second pic is blurry, but it's my dad using a cardboard box to fan the flames. He said, "Me, on the internet."

[lyjerria]

as you get older, you realize that you’re not always right and there’s so many things you could’ve handled better, so many situations where you could’ve been kinder and all you can really do is forgive yourself and let your mistakes make you a better person.

[italianamerikan]

ok but like, if I could go back with all the stuff I know now, I’d chew out my grampa for the Bubble Wand Incident. In front of his children and wife.

Imagine a grouchy, chubby, balding man being scolded by a 7-ish-year-old (with the brain of a 26-ish-year-old) in front of his family.

[italianamerikan]

Lizzie found an MTG card in the Walmart parking lot

Her: I think I might be cursed??? Me: Hang on, let me see it.

Me: Nah, more like blessed. Did you wanna keep it? Her: Not really. Me: Ok, I’ll just give it to Bill then.  He gets the +1/+1.

Bill is our mom’s car’s dolphin mascot (who was also found in a parking lot, sans tag).

[italianamerikan]

Welp. I got a tattoo today.

I’m not taking a picture till it’s healed up some. You’d understand if you could see it. I’m not going to explain why ‘cause even if it doesn’t look that gross, the only way I can describe it would be very gross.

Anyway, the artist, Jon, was SUPER sweet and funny, and if you’re looking to get a tattoo anywhere near Charlotte, NC, you should check this place out. It’s called “Sink or Swim Tattoo,” and my friend who has several tattoos says it’s one of the nicest parlors she’s been in, and plans to go there for her cover-up. If you’re farther away, it’s definitely worth the drive!

NOTE: I am apparently pretty sensitive, so even the lidocaine spray didn’t help much; however, I have learned to suffer in silence and was able to sit very still (despite my leg muscle spasms; fortunately, he was working on my shoulder). 

[italianamerikan]

It was almost done healing when I took this pic. I keep forgetting to post it.

[kaelvas]

Charles and Jake have just successfully caught a thief implicated in a lot of robberies. They have also found out he’s constipated

Jake: Can you believe he was bad at stooling and stealing?

Charles and Jake: laughing heartily together

Captain Holt: walks out of his office with a plain look on his face, obviously perplexed

Peralta. Boyle. What are you laughing at?

Jake: Don’t worry about it Captain, it’s just potty humor; you wouldn’t understand.

Captain Holt: You don’t think I can recognize a crappy joke when I hear one?

[italianamerikan]

I'm just imagining that face Jake made when Holt told him about the hula-hooping-- the one that looks like he just won the lottery. Unfortunately can't find the right gif though.

[italianamerikan]

A long time ago, my sister, who was a child, got stabbed by a needle when she stepped on it at my grandparents' house. When she cried and told them about it, my smartass grampa said (to a child):

You know, there's an invention that prevents this exact thing from happening. It's called a shoe.

And my salty inner-self still seethes:

Indoors should be foot-friendly. If we have to wear shoes in your house, there is a problem.

[italianamerikan]

we had chicken for dinner

Me: This chicken leg is broken.

Dad: Looks like he didn't make it across the road.

Me: He definitely made it to the other side, though.

[italianamerikan]

America

Ah, it’s that time of year again. The time when we can be at least 80% sure that what we’re hearing at night is fireworks, and not gunshots.

[italianamerikan]

Welp. I got a tattoo today.

I’m not taking a picture till it’s healed up some. You’d understand if you could see it. I’m not going to explain why ‘cause even if it doesn’t look that gross, the only way I can describe it would be very gross.

Anyway, the artist, Jon, was SUPER sweet and funny, and if you’re looking to get a tattoo anywhere near Charlotte, NC, you should check this place out. It’s called “Sink or Swim Tattoo,” and my friend who has several tattoos says it’s one of the nicest parlors she’s been in, and plans to go there for her cover-up. If you’re farther away, it’s definitely worth the drive!

NOTE: I am apparently pretty sensitive, so even the lidocaine spray didn’t help much; however, I have learned to suffer in silence and was able to sit very still (despite my leg muscle spasms; fortunately, he was working on my shoulder). 

[italianamerikan]

Once Upon a Dream

This was within the last week.

I was on some kind of school-sanctioned trip to some educational facility. I kept losing focus on the guide who was showing us around, and eventually I spotted a group of people who were signing to each other.

I left my own group and walked over, signing to the person who seemed to be in charge of their group: “I’m hearing, but I focus better with something to watch. Can I stay with your group?”

I ended up spending the rest of my dream signing badly because I couldn’t remember ASL grammar or half the signs I wanted to use. But I officially had a second dream in ASL, so... that’s cool. 

NOTE: I don’t know if I shared the first ASL dream I had on here. I don’t remember much, so I’ll just add it here.

I was at a dance, and there was one guy there who was deaf. I ended up spending most of the dance signing with him, though, since this was eaaarly on in my learning ASL, I’m pretty sure my brain just filled in “fake signs” when it didn’t know what a sign was, and I could still tell what he was saying and he could tell what I was saying. I don’t really remember what we talked about; this dream was a looong time ago. It was weird. Fun dream, though.

[jesus-h-roosevelt-christ]

i am the Devile Himselfe

[italianamerikan]

sooo . . .

A couple of years ago I found a floater in my left eye and went to get it checked out. My vitreous had partially detached from my retina. A few weeks of being careful, and it had healed and reattached itself.

Now I have vitreous detachment in both eyes, and my optometrist is sending me to a retina specialist. 

IF by ANY CHANCE I don’t have my nonna’s weak retinas, I shouldn’t have to worry too much. However, I’m pretty sure I inherited all the possible bad genes I could have inherited, so we’ll see.

[astro-chica-blog]

meanwhile i have none of the bad genes. i’m not even lactose intolerant. i checked. went two weeks without dairy, then had dairy… no difference. i’m sorry you got the bad genes.

[italianamerikan]

JEEALOOUSSS 

well, you did get big feet, so I think it balances out. ;) 

[italianamerikan]

Ron Swanson is just the grumpy version of my dad.

[italianamerikan]

Story Time:

The creepiest things that have ever happened to me (Part 3)

This one happened even earlier than the last one. It was back when I was in fourth grade, I think.

We lived in this little, run-down part of town. Our house was kind of expensive for my family, especially considering the condition it was in. My mom didn’t find out until after a few weeks or so of living there that we were in “the ghetto.”

There was an old, abandoned school bus parked toward the end of the street. We never really paid it much attention because we were too busy climbing our tree, collecting caterpillars, and playing with our next-door neighbors.

But one day, as I was going out the front door, I happened to glance at the bus. I snapped my eyes back to the driver’s seat, and stared for a moment. The seat was empty, as always, but in the split second that my eyes had drifted past the bus, I could have sworn I’d seen an old man at the wheel. He’d had a long-ish, narrow, white beard and a dark hat kind of like the ones in Newsies. If I hadn’t known any better, I’d have sworn it was my great-grandpa who’d just passed away that year. But he’d lived far away from my family. Why would his ghost be in that bus?