Love, and what it means to me.
a idea? a feeling? a way of being? a perspective? here are my thoughts.
I love you, I love you, I love you. I can’t count the number of times I’ve said it, heard it and written it down. It’s become an almost habitual phrase, something that has become integrated into the daily rhythm of our lives - yet in a time where it is like second nature, I can't help but wonder - maybe we’re starting to forget what love truly means.
Love is defined in the dictionary as “an intense feeling of deep affection”, but what does it actually mean? What is love’s true significance? What is its purpose? What does it bring into our lives that makes it so impactful? Many people would agree with the dictionary, that love is simply an emotion or even a manifestation of attachment, that loving someone is a symbol of desire or lust. That love in fact, isn’t ‘real’ and is only a perspective but I couldn’t disagree more. Love is so much more than a mere feeling, instead it’s a part of us that stays with us all through our lives. Love is strong and unwavering. Love allows growth and brings forth light into parts of us that we often fear or run away from. Love makes a person feel like home, a place of security and true happiness. Love binds and connects people together through an unspoken bond that no one else truly understands but them. And isn’t this just one aspect of love? The romantic ideals of love are sure to be one of the first things that come to mind when we think about love, but it actually expands to be so much more than that. Love isn’t something that is taught or found, it’s something we’ve had all of our lives.
Love comes in different forms - it’s your girlfriends sending you dozens of messages at midnight to not go back to your emotionally unavailable ex-situationship. It’s kissing your partner even when they're sick because you know it’ll make them smile. It’s your mum holding your hand as a kid when crossing the road even as you complained that it was embarrassing. It’s your friend holding back your hair after you got embarrassingly drunk, and still reassuring you that no one remembers. It's forgetting your brother's favorite colour but staying up late watching superhero movies with him you hate because you know he loves it. It’s laughing until you can’t breathe after crying with your friends. But most importantly, Love is giving, its an act of devotion and tenderness. Love is doing something for someone else not for your own benefit, but because you know that it’ll make them happy and that is what is most important. Love isn’t selfish or violent or cruel - love is tender, it’s bountiful and it’s beautiful. And for another, love - in which the quality of being able to give and receive love in itself is a blessing.
Somehow, we have managed to make ‘giving up on love’ a trend, the idea of being ‘untouchable’ and ingenuine with our intentions, just for the sake of the game. A normalised outlook that has become seen in today’s culture is that love is an intangible idea and self preservation is in fact more important. We find ourselves maintaining unrealistic standards to the point that we almost run away from love, finding a way to hide from the fear of getting hurt. But without hurt, can we ever truly love? People often choose the easy way out, maybe they got heartbroken once or twice, and that’s it. Love is tossed away, banished and cast aside like an old shirt chucked under the bed. There’s no going back and there’s no moving forward, instead standing at a crossroad of defeat. It’s become a common practice, that I’ve seen with more and more people around me but when will we wake up and realise that love isn’t the enemy, love isn’t something to be feared or to turn away from. It’s not love that fails us, it’s the disappointment that that person was never and will never be who you want them to be. So we do what is so very human of us, to just give up.
But how can we reject what we truly want, what we truly need? Because let’s face it, we all need love in our life - without love, we simply exist. Love is what gives life colour, beauty, joy and meaning. In truth, you never really truly stop loving because simply living is an act of loving. As I was watching the movie, ‘Before Sunrise’ a quote really stuck out to me that I believe indicates this idea : “ But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?”. This quote shows to me how so much of what we do, even in little parts of our lives, are in fact expressions of love. That love lingers in quiet ways, all the time without us realising it and that true love can be found everywhere. So while we so often find ourselves shutting love off, we don’t realise that love isn’t something that can be switched off, it lingers within us regardless of whether we notice it or not.
I mean, love is all around us, so why close off to it before realising that it is in fact there? It might not be in the ‘pinterest esque’ entirety of love - but it is there. Look, maybe your soulmate wasn’t the guy that dated for a few months, but instead your soulmate is your best friend from highschool that never left your side. Perhaps as we search for the idea of a perfect ‘one’ true love, we lose sight of the fact that love does exist, and it’s within us, it’s everywhere we look. While in the pursuit of one person, we often find ourselves limiting and subjecting love to just one person - but in fact love is much more than that. As humans, we are often blinded to love, hopelessly chasing after one person or thing and believing that there is no one and nothing else for us. So I ask you reader, if you could pour so much of yourself into someone else and shine that beacon of love from deep within you, why could you not for someone else? That love taught you that you can carry that, that you actually have the power in you to give someone that love and that you are in fact love.The ability to love and to love over and over again is a choice, a power in itself that many run away from. So hold that, and treasure it as you love ardently and fearlessly.
When I think about love, it’s more than the love I’ve known or experienced, it’s the act of showing up for someone when they need it most, it’s the small things that our loved ones do because you just know. The kind of love that is steady, when everything else might not be. It doesn’t seek gratification or demand attention, it’s just there - a constant unwavering force that centers us, allows us to yearn for another and in a way, feeds the part of us that craves comfortability in an ever changing society. Love has no bounds, it does not come in an object or in a person or in a place or even with rules or restrictions. Love is limitless, it's whatever we make it because it stems from what is within us. Love is an act of giving what we are, of self expression and an exhibition of ourselves creating an opening into what truly makes us, us. The greatest expression of love is that it is strong. It is resilient within us as it grows and strengthens and blooms in it’s quiet beauty. Love is like a budding flower that blossoms and continues to grow new leaves, it’s evolving and living and gentle but most importantly, it’s real. Some petals may wilt, fall and at times even grow worn, but the flower itself never dies because love never dies. So nurture this flower inside you, allow it to flourish, breathe it into life and express the soft delicacy of your being.
thank you for reading 💌💌 comment below your thoughts, and what you think love is ♡
