ShAmy : The “Best OTP ever” Progression
Sheldon (phone gives text alert): Excuse me. Oh. Amy’s at the dry cleaners, and she’s made a very amusing pun. “I don’t care for perchloroethylene, and I don’t like glycol ether.” Get it? She doesn’t like glycol ether. Sounds like either. (Taps in reply) L-O-L.
Penny: Sheldon has a girlfriend?
Sheldon: She’s not my girlfriend.
Penny: How long has this been going on?
Sheldon: She’s not my girlfriend.
Penny: Are you telling me, for the past four months I have been asking you what’s new and you never thought to go with Sheldon has a girlfriend?
Sheldon: She’s not my girlfriend.
Penny: Ah, du-du-du-du-du. How did they meet?
Howard: Raj and I entered Sheldon’s information on a dating site, and it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler.
Penny: Oh, my God! Sheldon and Amy.
Howard: Or, as we call them, Shamy.
Penny (squeals): Shamy. I am so digging the Shamy.
Sheldon: All right, everyone pay attention. Yes, I have a friend named Amy Farrah Fowler. Yes, she is female. Yes, we communicate on a daily basis, but no, she is not my girlfriend.
Penny: Okay, well, what do you communicate about?
Sheldon: Well, my work in physics, her work in neurobiology, and most recently, the possibility of our having a child together.
Penny (spits out drink explosively. Howard types. Robot arm hands Penny a napkin): Thank you.
Leonard: Wait a minute– a child? You never see this girl. You just e-mail and text and Twitter. Now you’re considering having a baby?
Sheldon: Amy pointed out that between the two of us, our genetic material has the potential of producing the first in a line of intellectually superior, benign overlords to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow.
Howard: I’m guessing that future historians will condemn us for not taking this opportunity to kill Sheldon.
Penny: Okay, I have a question.
Penny: You don’t even like people touching you. How are you going to have sex?
Sheldon: Why on Earth would we have sex?
Penny: Oh, honey, did your mom not have the talk with you? You know, when your private parts started growing?
Sheldon: I’m quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary, and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly. Consequently, if Amy and I choose to bring new life into this world, it will be accomplished clinically, with fertility experts in a lab with petri dishes. Which reminds me, you have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigour. Is your womb available for rental?
Leonard: Still digging the Shamy?
Penny: Look, Sheldon, before you race off to the fertility clinic, you might want to think about, uh gee, I don’t know, maybe actually spending some time with her.
Sheldon: You mean dating?
Sheldon: I can’t date Amy.
Sheldon: She’s not my girlfriend.
Penny: Okay, look, don’t think of it as dating a girlfriend. Think of it as, uh, getting to know the future mother of your child.
Sheldon: Oh. I hadn’t considered that. I suppose she will have to have access to our progeny. And you don’t think I can achieve the required intimacy via text messaging?
Sheldon: Huh. It would appear as if the phone companies have been lying to me.
4 x 01 - The Robotic Manipulation
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
stormborns
discoholicmusic
tangentwithtanner
germansingergirl
titsay
romaincrisis
