hopper getting two sons after losing two daughters 🤝 will and jonathan getting a dad out of a father figure who'd already shown up for them more than lonnie ever did
No matter what you believe, whether she actually died or if she managed to escape, it doesn't change coming to the depressing ass realization that Eleven gave Sara's bracelet back to Hopper as a goodbye on purpose, and not just to make him understand she wasn't a child anymore, but so that he doesn't lose one of his most cherished items seeing as it was originally Sara's, AND so that he could have something to remember her by as well.
Now that hair tie will forever be a reminder of Sara and El, the two daughters he ended up losing. He's never going to take that off. When he goes to talk to Mike, you see that he's back to wearing it when he takes off his hat and it's so heartwrenching.
So I’ve been a follower of yours since the big bang theory/shamy days. You were actually the person that got me into stranger things. I just wanted to see if you were okay because you seem to be just as devastated about el’s ending as I am. I think what also isn’t helping is comments saying that hopper or joyce or anyone apart from mike don’t seem to care that el is gone in the epilogue. On top of like comments saying that el giving hop back the hair tie was cold and out of character, and their last interaction was full of angst. I just feel like it’s adding salt to the wound. Hope that makes sense. I feel utterly pathetic getting myself worked up over all of this.
Hi lovely,
Oh, bless you. This is so kind. Thank you so much. It’s not pathetic at all; so please don’t ever feel like that.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling like a lot of us have; but if I may offer some words of comfort. Of course everyone is entitled to interpret things in any way they wish; so this isn’t a “I’m right, and you’re wrong.” kind of post. It’s about offering some perspective.
So regarding Hopper’s persona during the epilogue, and during that 18 month gap; I think if you take out that scene between him and Mike on the bench, it could raise questions regarding character consistency. But even then you could still factor in how grief isn’t linear, and how he has a much bigger support system now. However, because we do get that speech from Hopper to Mike, and we know that for the past year and a half he has had the support of Joyce, the boys (Will & Jonathan) and most likely the rest of the crew as well; I think it allows the audience to see why he is in a better headspace now, compared to the state of mind he was in after losing Sara. Also, as Hopper explains during his monologue in season 4, he hid himself away in drugs and alcohol. And if you think back to season 1, he was popping pills left, right, and centre. It’s no wonder he wasn’t dealing with his grief, let alone having a handle on his emotions. But just going back to that bench scene with Hop and Mike. When Hopper tells him about the choices of roads he can go down, Hopper looks away in the other direction. From someone that suffered two unbearable losses myself last year (both in the space of two months) this mannerism from Hopper is a way of coping with intense feelings of sadness, heartache and grief over losing El - and I think David did a great job of nailing what I’ve been feeling myself over the past 7 months. He hasn’t moved on from El, and he never will do; just like he will never move on from Sara. But Hopper getting to a place where he has accepted what has happened (even though he dosen’t like or understand it) is not him insinuating that El has been erased from his memory (it’s the opposite in fact) it’s him realising that he has no choice; because if he went down the road like he did after Sara, he wouldn’t of survived that pain again. There’s also a scene at graduation where Hop has the blue hair band on his hand rather than his wrist. It’s in a very similar position as he had it during that scene in season 2, the morning after El and Hop had their big fight after she left the cabin. It’s symbolising that it’s now a connection to both daughters - which I think is beautiful.
Now regarding El giving Hopper back the blue hair tie; I personally didn’t perceive it to be cold or full of tension in the slightest. I’m going to insert two quotes (one from Variety, and one from Screen Rant) as they sum up exactly what I took from that scene. I think they also sum up how he came to accept El’s final decision; as devastating as it is.
“Hopper has long been protective of Eleven, and his refusal to let her sacrifice herself for the world stems from the pain he felt at the loss of his daughter, Sara. In this emotional scene, Eleven tenderly explains that even though Hopper has proven a loving father figure to her, she isn't Sara. She then returns to him a hair tie that once belonged to Sara, relieving him of his guilt.” - Variety
“When Eleven gives the bracelet back, she says she’s “not Sara.” El didn’t want Hopper to treat her like she was Sara. She needed Hop to trust her to make the right choice on her own. El knows that Hop raised her and became her dad, but she wants him to acknowledge that there’s a difference between Sara and her fate compared to what’s happening with El.” - Screen Rant
This is already so much longer than I intended it to be; but I’m just going to quickly touch on Joyce, because I forgot to mention her above. El meant so much to her; and vice versa - it’s apparent in all seasons. So again, I never once thought that Joyce didn’t give a crap about her in the epilogue. I think it all depends on how you view grief, or if you’ve been through it yourself. 18 months may not seem like a long time, but to someone who is living through that kind of loss, it feels like a lifetime. Hopper and Joyce had the best support system in each other; and if I can leave you with a quote from season 3.
Will found Hopper sitting out on the cabin’s small porch. It wasn’t hard to spot him; he took up about a third of it. They didn’t spend a lot of time together, but if he was surprised to have Will seek him out he didn’t show it, just nodded and turned back to his cigarette.
“You okay, Hop?”
He raised an eyebrow and Will continued, taking a seat on the cabin’s uneven steps.
“Mom was kinda on a tear about the dishes earlier.”
Hopper huffed a laugh.
“If your mom wasn’t bitching at me about something or other I wouldn’t know what to do with myself,” he said. He took another drag and Will watched the smoke fill the air as he let it out. “Anyway, it wasn’t about the dishes.”
Will nodded and looked away, swallowing back the tightness in his throat. El’s absence haunted them all in different ways.
“How’re you doin’ with all this?”
Will shot a look at Hopper.
“With what?”
Hopper waved a hand at the cabin, the cars filling up the makeshift driveway, himself.
“I know you’re on a countdown to graduation and getting the hell out of Hawkins,” Hopper said, “but still. Can’t be easy.”
“Oh,” said Will. Was that all. “It’s not bad.”
Hopper snorted.
“No really,” Will said, “it’s not. I mean it’s crowded and the cabin’s still pretty rough, but it doesn’t smell as bad as Mike’s basement, and you being here- it’s like a gift.”
Will risked a glance at Hopper who looked more confused than anything.
“A gift? I’ve been called a lot of things, kid, never a gift.”
Will flushed.
“It’s like, I mean…when El was with us in California, she-” Will’s throat seized up again, but he pushed through, not sure how much more he could get out if he hesitated - “she loved having a mom.”
Hopper’s face flickered with pain and Will forced himself not to look away as he continued.
“She loved having a mom,” Will said again, “and she was so grateful. She was always thanking me and Jonathan for sharing our mom with her and she, she missed you so much and I think…I think she would have been happy that this time she was sharing something with us.”
Hopper coughed and cleared his throat, stubbing out his cigarette and making a whole production out of lighting another one. Will looked away, studying the trees as he gave Hopper a moment.
“You and your brother, and Joyce,” Hopper said at last, voice muffled with what Will had to assume were tears (he still couldn’t bring himself to look), “you’re the real, you’re-”
Hopper tried to get the words out and then he was crying and Will was going to shrivel into dust.
“Are you trying to say that we’re the gift?” he asked finally.
“Jesus,” Hopper muttered, running a hand across his face. He cleared his throat. “Yeah. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
Will tried to bite back a laugh, but it spilled out anyway.
“Please stop, that's so embarrassing.”
“Shut up, kid,” Hopper said, but he was laughing too. “You started it.”
Joyce found them on the porch a moment later, still laughing at each other, at themselves.
“Everyone okay out here?”
Will heard the tired edge in her voice, the one that said she’d been crying. Their laughter faded and Will took her hand, pulling her down to join him on the steps.
“Yeah mom,” Will said. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and glanced over at Hopper who gave him a half smile as took another drag of his cigarette. “We’re okay.”
“You got two roads ahead of you. You got one road where you keep blaming yourself for what happened. You keep going over it in your head, what you could've done differently. You push people away, and you suffer, because that’s what you think you deserve. And then there’s another road... where you find a way to accept what happened. You just accept it. Doesn’t mean you gotta like it. Doesn’t mean you gotta understand it. And you live the best goddamn life you can.”
& in the end, after suffering the world's worst and most painful tragedy not once but twice in his lifetime, Jim Hopper's story was not one of being overcome by depression, self-loathing, and fear. No, Hopper's story taught us perhaps the most important lesson of all - that we don't always get what we deserve, and we can't always save the people we love, but we can choose to heal and find happiness again even in the face of unbearable grief. We don't have to be overcome by the pain. We can use our hardship to help others going through the same situation. We are more than our heartbreak, more than our mistakes and regrets, more than our worst moments. We have value. We deserve to be here and to smile again. We have a life to live - so stay alive. There are good days ahead.
When I was a kid, and you found me in the woods... I was scared. Really scared. I didn't understand the world. I didn't understand... people. You took me in. Raised me. Protected me. You became my dad.
You know what I love about fandom? That someone was so goddamned excited about something they had to make something. They had to draw something, paint something, write something, create something.
And they did it coz they loved it and wanted to share their joy with others.
I don't care whether it's a masterpiece of literary genius - all 100K words chosen with exquisite care, or a simple 1K of sparkling banter. It could be a doodle that took all of 30 seconds or a digital portrait that took hours.
I'm here for the stained glass panels, the long stitched profiles, the crocheted characters, the fics, the prose, the vids, the stickers, the tattoos, and the comics. I'm here for the words and the images, the sounds and the feels - in vivid brights and moody greys - I'm here for all of it.
So fandom creators, please keep doing what you are doing and so long as it keeps bringing you joy as well, please, don't stop sharing your work with us.
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