Party Girl gon' God

The Journal of a once 'Infamous' party girl gon' God; as a Wife, a Mother, an Entrepreneur

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Keeping Up

Since my last post about starting up our business, things have been pretty wild! I might have underestimated what it was going to take to start a business from the ground up, so to say. LuLaRoe provides the product, and an invoicing program, but after that, the rest is up to us. Joseph and I have been in this full force, already I have spent countless hours with our business plan, marketing materials, marketing plans, networking potentials, shop policies, shipping accounts, establishing ourselves with the IRS as Sole Proprietors of our business, and submitting applications to be allowed to accept all major credit cards, and just SO MUCH. 

SO much more than I had had imagined, on top of all the other details. All of this while still having my full time job with the Charter School, and with my children, my husband. I feel myself stretching thin just over the last couple days, wondering if maybe I will not be able to give enough attention to each of those wonderful pieces of my life. 

But I know I can, through Him. He promised me big things, and His things are good.

Maybe I just need sleep. 

SLEEP.

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Stepping Out in Faith

I am making this journal entry to remind myself of the beginning, our leap of faith (my husband and I). I want to remember how I felt when I heard the Lord speak into my life, the overwhelming feelings, the unexplainable power and love of the voice which stirred up inside me and brought me to tears. The promises of blessing my family beyond measure. I NEED to remind myself, as the Devil is a liar who comes only to steal and kill and destroy, but God, He came that we may have life and have it abundantly.

The email I sent to my friend, and sister in Christ, who is going to be here to help us along the way, tells the story. Blessed to have someone who understands everything I was trying to put into words this day:

So today has really been a powerful one. The last couple days, since I entered the queue, I have kind of sat back and really prayed and contemplated about what to do with this Lula Roe stuff, yes I was super interested but $5,000 is really a ton of money for us to come up with. So I guess I kind of did not see this panning out really, my husband and I mulled it over the last couple days as well, and did not really see a way. But I did not ever stop having some hope that it might come, someway somehow.

Anyhow, this morning I went to women's bible study service and it was a wonderful message about Faith and Hope, and just a powerful message taking us through some of the scriptures where God tell us to ask Him for the desires of our hearts and He will provide, as long as it suits His will for us. Have the Faith in Him. It got me going over and over in my mind how badly I am believing for $5,000.

Well, I could not believe it, but God spoke to me this morning, I was literally shaking coming out of service, He told me to sell our second car for $3,000....I am like God, our car...how in the world am I going to even bring this up to my husband lol that is our car...we are going to have to change things in our routine for this...and just, it is not convenient or sane sounding even! And besides, I still need to find an extra $2,000! But then next, as if He was tired of hearing me struggle in my thoughts, I had these calming thoughts of how He wants to bring blessings upon my family that I could not even imagine, kind of like sacrifice and follow Me and see where I can take you. Powerful stuff.

So next I got home from service, nervous as ever to tell my husband, and before I can even say a word to Joseph I started crying lol (I must have looked crazy, I felt crazy lol!) So there I am just crying telling him we needed to talk, so we sit down and I told him what I felt God speak into me. He sat and listened to me as I struggled to tell him through the tears. But then, after I had finished and the tears dried up, him being the God fearing man that I love, said well then, that is what we need to do. No other questions, he did not even take the time to argue the logistics, or comprehend the repercussions of it, we just sat and laughed afterward together like okay God, the car.

So my overall point to this email, I guess we, along with Him, are going to do this. I am nervous though, I cannot lie, to step out in Faith and do this. My flesh asks is this worth it, what if the car is gone for no reason, what if nobody will buy the car, what if nobody will buy LuLaRoe, what if we are left worse than we started, what if it really was not Words from God, and just so many thoughts attacking me as the time is passing from this early morning. So I just had to reach out to you before I coward away.

Anyhow, I feel so blessed to have you as a sponsor through this. And sorry for this unexpected crazy email lol

I guess it is time to work on this seriously, stepping out in Faith!

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Visit Original Link

Adding Faith to Your Hope

God spoke into my heart through this message; I can only hope to come back to this message over and over again when I need to be reminded of His promises to me. 

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My Tribe- My Support System- The reason I smile- My Boys.

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The MOMENTUM in Me

A couple weekends ago my husband and I attended a Christian camp up on the mountain with our young adult group from church and the theme name of our weekend was Momentum. Momentum can simply be defined as a driving force, or strength, of movement. In our case, we spent the weekend defining and meditating on the momentum in our own walks with Christ. 

It was a very emotional weekend, especially when we split into small groups and discussed issues such as the weights on our shoulders which are affecting our relationships with God, what distractions we are encountering, and the things that are holding us back from creating an even deeper love with Him. The timing on these realizations were no coincidence. I know my previous post was about all of the social media distractions which were affecting me and I made the decision to finally let go of some of the past and unfollow and unlike those negative influences. I have already felt the difference. I also spend less and less time on those sites. By doing this I am not allowing myself to be sucked into the chaos and I choose to spend more time in the Now, pay more attention to what is happening in my real day to day life. 

Another issue I dealt with is the weight I was feeling about being a stranger to all those who knew the “old” Sarah. All of a sudden I felt disregarded because I had this new life, a life that I have no shame shouting about from the top of the mountain, no shame in posting about Jesus and everything He has done for me and my family, and continues to do, I have no shame for letting people know hey, I am always in church and I LOVE it, I wouldn’t change a thing, and all because I feel if only they knew the things God can do for them too. I have had people criticize me for no longer going out to the bars, no longer drinking, no longer doing things that the old me enjoyed doing (but were, in reality, negative), and for no longer believing alternative things as I once did. All these issues I shared with others in my group and I also got to hear the things my peers were going through as well, and it was eye opening to hear that I was not alone, there are many others who were experiencing the same distractions as I, who were feeling the same weights as I, and those who were really being held down by past and present experiences so deep that I could not compare them to my own sorrows and experiences. 

That day I feel in love with those women, complete strangers. We cried together, we were honest and open about our struggles and the burdens on our hearts, we gave each other Godly advice and inspiration, we prayed together, and without a doubt we were able to strengthen one another’s FAITH. Faith that God IS going to fulfill His promise, He is going to rid us of our doubts and our fears, He will take away our hearts pains and sufferings; He does this when we cast our cares on Him, when we lay all of our burdens at His feet, and we know this because God tell us in Psalms 55:22 “Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you;”. And again, Jesus says to us in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” And that is exactly what we did that night, not just our group, but all the other young adults in attendance.

Later that night, after everyone had their small groups we gathered in the chapel and received a message form Pastor Luke which was so moving and relateable, and completely inspired by the Holy Spirit. God was definitely there with us all, His presence in the atmosphere that night was undeniable, and not only because we know that “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matthew 18:20, but because you could see it in others, you could feel it in your heart during the songs of Praise and Worship, and you could hear it in the Word. The pastor delivered a message from the book of Daniel telling us the story of three men, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who were the ONLY men in the province of Babylon who still believed, worshiped, and had faith in God. All the other people were ruled by, and worshiped, a man-named king, Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar demanded the people worship a gold statue at the ring of a bell and other instruments and the punishment for not following this order was to be burned to death in a fiery furnace. Well, eventually word came to him that those three men refused to do so, so Nebuchadnezzar commanded that the three be thrown into the fiery furnace, but when this was done God sent his angel to protect them. There the three men stood, walking around in that furnace alongside a fourth man whom, “looks like the son of the Gods”. Nebuchadnezzar had the furnace opened and the three man walked out unharmed. (WOW!) After this miraculous event a decreed was set upon the land that this was a God worth worshiping and the king’s statue was destroyed.

This is one heck of story, and very relatable. In the world today I am definitely the minority as a true Christian, surrounded in the crowd by others who so willingly, or blindly, worship the worldly things of this world. I am called to be the one who stands out, and I cannot lie, it’s scary and little uncomfortable at times, but I so want to fulfill this calling with a happy heart, and I know I can through my Faith in God. I know, just as those three men did, that God is by my side and my life is in His hands, and who better to have control than God himself. It’s really eye opening to see that in this story all it took was THREE men, out of thousands, to stand up for their belief, in Faith, to make a change and bring God into the lives of many. I want to be one of those men.  

This message was so powerful to my heart, and to others, as young adults we are going through similar situations as we walk with God, all of us just trying to better ourselves, seeking redemption for our past, and looking to deepen our Faith. It’s a beautiful thing when the Holy Spirit makes his presence known. Almost every knee was bowed down that night, tears flooded our eyes, and our hearts were singing and reaching out to the Lord. There we all were, myself especially, laying down all my life’s burdens at His feet with each tear drop and my heart singing out the words over and over again “Oh how I love You” (I will post the song following my entry). That night I heard the Lord speak to me, these simple yet powerful words:

“I Love YOU”.  

Everything I am going through, it is worth it to be that one man who gets to stand out from the crowd. I LOVE my “new” life, and I love my God. And as for those burdens I laid down that night, they have become light, and continue to grow lighter as the days pass by and as I grow in fellowship with all the other young adults who have come into my life, through God, to support the momentum in my Faith.

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A prayer I am going to meditate on this weekend as we go on a camping retreat with our Young Adult group from church. The struggle has been real over the last few weeks but I know I can see it through with my eyes set on something much greater. Amen.

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Getting the best of me

So it has been almost a month since I have made an entry, not that I have not wanted to write, it has actually been on my mind almost every day, but when I say OKAY that’s it, today I am going to write, the distractions are many. A new head line on a web page I want to read, a conversation I want to start, that video I want to watch, and just anything and everything that isn’t writing, worldly things have definitely been getting the best of me. Although I give myself credit that for most of July my husband and I spent in Mexico on our Honeymoon and then were on and off again on the road, visiting Yosemite, the beach, and other places. It was a very blessed summer indeed, but to be honest during this time off we should have still found more time for Jesus.

When we finally returned from our trips and got back into church the messages were more than hitting home to me. One title in particular was a sermon on “Being a stranger in a strange land”, and that title in itself explains my new life, I feel like such a stranger to my coworkers, my friends, and even my own family. I feel as if I have much different views on a plethora of topics then others. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay, I am sticking to my Faith regardless what the world says. And these are not ideals I am believing because I am being told to, I believe because I have seen, lived, and felt the truths of His scriptures. I have my own testimony.

Every time I log into my Facebook and Instagram accounts I am bombarded with articles created just to stir up people, political debates, who approves of what lifestyle, who’s a racist,  who’s not a racist, who’s wrong in believing this, who’s right in believing that, this is how you raise a child, this is not how you raise a child, yadda yadda. Its AWFUL.  And this really stirs up my emotions. If you really take the time to read, it’s pretty bad to see what is really going on in the masses out there, there is nothing but HATE, and it’s only growing. Especially towards Christians and other denominations. Then there are those ads that portray images of a party life style, which with my background, can always seem extra appealing. They create these amazing advertisements and videos that make these gatherings look like so much fun, and extra fun if you involve drugs and alcohol, but I do not want to go back to that lifestyle. I am MUCH happier where I am at now, even if I am a stranger to most of those who have been in my life. I have strong conservative beliefs, I do my best to live by the Bible, and I love being an active member in my church. In order to fight off these worldly temptations I need to strengthen my Spirit.

In order to do this, I need to make that decision to stop and think before I decide what to allow into my life. I do not need to read that article, and when I encounter those who look down on Christ and His followers I need to pray for them, for they do not know what awaits them at Jesus’ coming, or their death (whichever comes first). I need to avoid situations where I am tempted to turn to alcohol or drugs. I need to fill my life with prayer, meditation on the Word of God, praise and worship for everything He has done for me and my family, and most importantly, fellowship with others who believe as I do. I need to do these things because the world is slowly trying to destroy my Faith and I refuse to let it. But will it be easy? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

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Celebration or Silence?

Yesterday’s decision by the Supreme Court to finally implement Marriage Equality into law is a huge step for our government and will forever be a milestone in our Country’s history, regardless of who believes in what, who feels what, or who anything what. This monumental decision of course has created an uproar in our society, and has caused utter chaos throughout social media and the internet. My news feed has been bombarded with articles, photos, speeches, large scale corporations have been adding rainbow decals on their websites, twitter has gone off the deep end with updates, and now Facebook even has a way for those in support to change their profile picture into the colors of the rainbow. The people are in full celebration.

Alongside with those who celebrate, there are equally just as many people who are condemning, condemning for religious reasons or just out of plain hatred, both sides are wrong in doing so. I have been reading such awful and hurtful words directed to those who are either gay or in support of this law. And I especially am disappointed in those who call themselves Christians. We can share our beliefs without the name calling and condemnation. I know it is our duty to share Gods Word and we have every right to share our beliefs too, but we need to do so with kindness, without attacking others, with sincere love and hope for these people.

So there I was just flabbergasted at the nasty things being said, I felt hurt for my own friends and loved ones who are gay and for the hundreds of friends who do support the cause. Just because we do not share the same beliefs does not mean people need to go around bashing others and condemning them. God has called us to LOVE, not to judge. He will be the judge. So pouring out judgement and hatred is counterproductive to what we are called to do. I was reading around the internet and found this article by Matt Slick, the President and Founder of the Christian Apologetic and Research Ministry, that really spoke to me and I would like to share it with you:

What should be the Christian's response to the Homosexual?

Just because someone is a homosexual, does not mean that we cannot love him (or her) or pray for him (or her).  Homosexuality is a sin and like any other sin, it needs to be laid at the cross and forsaken.

Please understand that I don't hate homosexuals.  I wouldn't care if my neighbor is gay.  I've had homosexual friends and have loved them the same as I would anyone else.  I was their friend, yet they knew I did not approve of their behavior.  But, the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, and the solution to the problem of sin (the breaking of God's Law, 1 John 3:4) is found only in Jesus.  He is the Lord, the Savior, the risen King. Jesus is God in flesh (John 1:1, 14), and He died to save sinners from God the Father's righteous judgment.  We are all sinners, and we all need salvation (Eph. 2:8-9) that is only found in receiving Christ (John 1:12-13).

We Christians should pray for the salvation of the homosexual the same as we would for anyone else.  This is not an issue of arrogance or judgmental-ism. We don't want anyone to be lost due to their sin and that includes gays, lesbians, and transgenders.

The homosexual is still made in the image of God, even though he (or she) is in rebellion against Him.  Therefore, we Christians should show homosexuals the same dignity as anyone else with whom we come in contact.  Don't injure them.  Don't hate them.  Don't judge them.  Inform them that freedom and forgiveness are found in Jesus.  Let them know that God loves us and died for us so that we might be delivered from the consequences of our sin - which is eternal separation from God (Isaiah 59:2).

But, this does not mean that we are to approve of what they do.  We are not to compromise our witness for a socially acceptable opinion that is void of rationality, godliness, and biblical truth.  Instead, stand firm in the Word that God has revealed to us and patiently love him/her biblically and pray for their salvation.  Be kind to them.  Be loving.  And, when appropriate, tell them the Gospel because forgiveness of our sins is found in Christ.

The people are in celebration, and that’s okay. Their belief's do not affect my beliefs, they do not affect my home, or how I choose to teach my children. And although Marriage Equality may not be what God intended for us, it’s also not politically correct either to hold back this right from those who believe differently than us. The Bible will never be politically correct. This is why we love our country right? For our Freedom to choose. Our God even gives us the choice to choose Him, or to not choose Him. So all I ask is that my loved ones accept the fact that with my silence I am showing my disbelief in this situation. Respect I will not be pushing my Godly views, I will not be judgmental, or condemning with Bible verses, but I will be here loving them and praying for them, and sharing Gods Word for those who want to hear.

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Since I work at a state funded school I am not allowed to really advertise anything religious, which I find absurd, but anyways, God always finds a way :) so here are some motivational scriptures turned into cat posters that I created to display around my office! And for anyone’s reference, here are where you can find the scriptures I used:

Ephesians 4:29-32 “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them”

Proverbs 21:5 “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty”

Proverbs 4:26-27 “Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways “

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Just cry out.

I have been frequently attending church now for about a little over a year. It started with one service a week for a long while, then slowly grew to two, then gradually grew to three (once we discovered our church’s young adult service on Friday nights, which are AMAZING), and now, for the last couple of weeks we have made it to a total of 4 services a week; Wednesday nights, Friday nights, Sunday mornings, and again on Sunday evenings...and get this, that isn’t even enough for me!! I constantly am listening to my praise and worship CD’s that my husband so lovingly compiles (or Worship playlists on Spotify and Pandora), I bring my bible to work daily and have it open on my desk for reading, verse meditation, and reference, also, more than likely I have my headphones in listening to bible study podcasts. WOW! Right? But also, don’t get me wrong, I still like me some radio jams, going places that are not church, and browsing the internet reading interesting articles, or meme’s...my point is, I can still be a women of God while still being a person too. I am just a different person. 

I am not even kidding when I say I love and am overjoyed by this new lifestyle God has opened up to me. I feel so entirely free, confident, and fearless, especially when it comes to things of God. I am going to start posting more about my God, I am going to start speaking about my God, I am going to start proclaiming about how great He is, what He has done for me and what He can do for others, and what He will do. If God has changed me, if God has forgiven me, he can do anything and forgive you too, and I mean it. If anyone was to have a large RED banner above their head that read sinner, fornicator, liar, manipulator, cheater, murderer, drunkard, adulterer, gluttonous and selfish, oh man that person WAS me. So excuse me for wanting to praise Jesus for bringing me out of that dark place, the place where I could not even forgive myself. That is what I have to say to the naysayers:

“Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit”. Psalm 32:1-2 

“I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’ And you forgave the guilt of my sin”. Psalm 32:5

And guess what, in order to receive His blessing and forgiveness, all I had to do was reach out and ask Him, reach out and repent with arms wide open and accept the fact that I sinned against others. I remember standing there in church one evening singing praise and worship when all of a sudden we were singing the lyrics “I surrender, With arms stretched wide I know You hear my cry, Speak to me now, I surrender” and as I sang that prayer I felt something overcome inside of me and tears just started pouring out of my eyes, with each tear my mind slowly reminded me of all my past sins, it was like as I was crying I was also saying goodbye to the pain and the burden those sins  held on my shoulders. I was forgiven. 

I heard the voice of God that night, and this is why I will continue to praise him aloud, words cannot even begin to speak what He has done for me. He took me out of the dark, he forgave my sins, lifted their shamefulness from me, then he delivered me the man of whom I am going to love all my life, I was given the job of my dreams, my 5 year old son praises the Lord with all his little heart and it is beautiful, our bills are paid, our bank accounts stay steady, and I have a peace and a grace in myself and in my home which is only given by God, and I continue to be forgiven as I continue living for God. Which PRAISE GOD that He loves me so much because I am guilty of sin as long as I walk the Earth, but now with God it has become much easier to catch myself in the act and repent, and try again.

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Are you going to drink that?

Alcohol, oh alcohol, him and I go way back. Alcohol was a substance that, for a very long time, ran my life without me even recognizing it. Without alcohol I would not have been able to uphold that party girl lifestyle I so openly prided myself upon. I used alcohol to allow myself to make poor choices and later brag about all of my indiscretion's. Granted, at the time I saw myself as empowered and “living my life to fullest”. So I would come up with any reason of why I NEEDED to drink; I had a hard day at work, I was under stress, I wanted to lose my inhibitions, I wanted to unwind, to have some fun, to celebrate, to forget, to heal a broken heart or ego, or 9 times out of 10 just because I had “nothing better to do” and was bored. I saw drinking as a hobby I had under control, but little did I know, alcohol had control of me. 

Without realizing it, I was planning my days and outings around the fact that I would be able to drink. When planning to meet up with friends we would always go to the bars and drink, meet up at a house and drink, a simple game of bowling would turn into a rambunctious drunken activity, a trip to the drive-in movies would turn into a loud obnoxious evening ( and we would miss the movie), and one of my biggest regrets is looking back on all of those concerts I so very much wanted to go to for the music but ended up drinking, blacking out, and now I have no memory of what should have been a great experience.

Now that I have been working on my relationship with God my desire for alcohol has taken a back seat in my life, and it has been amazing seeing how my life has flourished, and not only my wallet! I no longer need a drink, nor do I let it be the center of anything I do. I drink so less that when I do drink, my body aches (or I just plain pass out...but that might be because of age?). But now to bring up the controversial issue of drinking after becoming a new woman of God. In the Bible God does not forbid us from consuming alcohol, that in itself is not a sin, but it’s a sin when you let the alcohol have power over you, when you drink so much you are drunk and your thoughts altered, and when you lust after the appeal, in Proverbs 23: 30-33 God tells us, “Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper. Your eyes will see strange sights, and your mind will imagine confusing things”. God tells us this because He knows the powers of alcohol and how easy it is to fall back into the arms of its appeal, and how if we let it, it will only hinder us from our walk. This is why when I choose to have a drink I make sure I am doing so without lustful thoughts towards it, because if I go to have that drink and see the cup as “sparkling” I know how strong the temptation is to get drunk. All it takes is one “sparkling” drink to want another. And another, then another. Too many people in today’s world know the destruction, before they recognize it their wallets are empty, jobs are taken away, passions are lost, filled with shamefulness, self-doubt, they’re fighting with their significant other, unfaithful in marriage, experience the loss or lack of true friendship, family members driven away, they walk a life of depression, and all other areas of life are affected negatively by the love of alcohol, all of which are NOT included in God’s plan for you.

So when it comes to alcohol I say tread lightly, and if you know you are not strong enough then the best option is to avoid it until you feel you are, for some, that day might never come. There are days when now I can have a drink or two and keep pure thoughts, but then there are also days I have dangerous thoughts, they come swift and ever so quietly to remind me of those unopened bottles of wine that linger in the fridge, waiting to be drank. Or thoughts whispered into my mind about how much “fun” it would be to drink a 6 pack of beer right now as I had in the past. Those thoughts, sneaky and manipulative, are clearly not those of God. These are the times those bottles need to remain unopened the most, these are the times I must avoid going to the store and picking up that beer, for Satan is there waiting for me, watching, and hoping that I give into the temptation. 

Ephesians 5: 15-18 reads, “Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will be. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Spirit”.

I pray that I stay sober to hear you Lord, avoiding the temptations of alcohol so that I do not stray from the path chosen for me. I am wise in Your ways and I am lucky that because of You my bondage to alcohol has been broken, and as long as I obey Your Word I will remain unbound to its power, which causes me to sin, and I will continue to receive Your blessings upon my life. Where alcohol once brought a shallow, temporary, and deceiving joy to me, I now celebrate and cry out real everlasting joy through Your Spirit which dwells in me.

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Rain on my Windshield

Yesterday evening toward the end of the work day it started to rain, it rained large rain drops in mass quantities, and it was beautiful. Well, as I was driving home I was contemplating on how do I explain, even to my own self, the driving factor behind my Faith. So I came up with this, as I contemplated on exactly what was happening: God you are my windshield wipers!

Most would laugh at the idea that God could be compared to something as “insignificant” as windshield wipers, when there are many other things I could use to compare, but I think this comparison is true, and profound, besides, God is simple, mighty and powerful, yet still simple. Once you really begin to know God and listen to his Word, you will come to see this. Well anyways, I see God as the windshield wipers of my life because ever since he has come into my life he has done nothing but help clear away the rubbish and make my sight clear, clear to see his vision for my life and the blessings he has for me. 

Before God, my life was like a window shield in a storm without working wipers. My vision, my path, the direction I was going, was so unclear, and confusing, blurry and distorted, but most importantly, dangerous. So picture yourself driving in this storm and not being able to wipe away any of those rain drops coming down at you...scary isn’t it. Wouldn’t you want to have those wipers working? Well God has done that for me. My Faith in Him remains strong not only because I have been told or taught to believe, but because I can SEE all the blessing of God, he has come into my life and wiped away all of those rain drops coming down at me. Rain drops are anything and everything that will get in the way of my walk with God, to list a few: self doubt, selfishness, fear, insecurity, doubt in financials, fear of where I am going, fear of being foolish, temptations, fear of abandonment, or holding back because my first instinct is to worry what friends and family who do not believe in God think of me. 

These “rain drops” are still in my life, they always will be, but as the rain falls I look to God and ask for his strength because I know he will help wipe them clean. These worldly worries I do not need to fret on any longer, and this is the driving factor behind my Faith, for God has been true to his word and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”  Philippians 4:13. And boy does It take a lot of strength to keep up and hold on tight to my Faith in today’s world, because there are so many people and things trying to distract me and tear it down. 

[its-ess-teee-blog]

Here I am Lord

Well here I am. I am not sure what to do, or what to say, or where to begin, but I am here, and I know my purpose is to share my walk with God with others as I use my writings to analyze and understand my own walk. Specifically for the women who may be astray from God, for those who may not know God, for those who want to know God, or for those who need a girlfriend to walk beside them as they make their own walk with God. You have called on me and I am here. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a believer of God and His promises. However, no matter which hat I am wearing, I am still trying to figure things out Gods way.

Before I begin this written journey I want to voice how I am not here to judge, belittle, reprimand, or look down upon anyone, or any lifestyle. Lord knows I myself am far from perfect, nor do I lead a perfect life in Gods image, as the Lord says to us in Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”.

As long as we are flesh, flesh we will be, and our flesh is beyond attracted to sin, which means we are guaranteed a life long battle against it as long as we are on this Earth. I do not know about you, but I am glad I have God walking with me these days, because without him I do not know how I would ever survive being a daily target of Satan. And for the longest time, I was without, but I did not know it yet.