hey!! i finally made a sideblog for my writing (its about time...)
info:
hi! iâm spencer (they/he), and iâm 18!
i write fanfiction for dead poets society! i write all m/m ships!! i unfortunately donât write oc or /reader stuff because my skill level is just not that high yet (iâll get there someday!) but my requests are open!! my favorite ships to write are anderperry (obviously) and pitts/meeks!! I WILL WRITE NEIL/ANYONE BECAUSE I KNOW THERE IS AN INSANE SHORTAGE OF DPS CONTENT FOR YALL NEIL/CHARLIE SHIPPERS OUT THERE... i gotchu ;) i am 18! i am comfortable writing non-graphic smut! however, since the dps boys are only around 16-18 canonically, i wont write any crazy stuff. just wholesome love making!!! if you want more info on what im comfortable writing, feel free to shoot me an ask! my anons are on because i do understand wanting to remain anonymous when requesting nsfw works, however, i will delete any nsfw asks that do not contain an age. i will also delete asks i am uncomfortable with or have any suspicions about. i trust you guys, but iâm only comfortable with so much.. i also roleplay! i love writing as todd and charlie, but i can write as any of the boys :) just shoot me an ask or a dm! i love really angsty stuff đłđł so theres that! once i start posting stuff iâll make a masterlist!!
if you see this and are in the dps fandom/want to see some more dps fan-made content, pls reblog this and send in some requests! iâm on winter break and could really use some stuff to do!!!
hey guys, sorry for the hiatus. unfortunately, thereâs been some crazy stuff happening in my personal life, and i donât know if iâll have it in me to write anything anytime soon. peace and love â„ïž
tbh, didn't expect to be dissected like a corpse in the 16th century where the doctor is surprised people got intestines, but very impressive, I got Nuwanda!
iâm as accurate as an icepick lobotomy ;)
in all seriousness tho, congrats!! i took it myself and got meeks ahahah
idk the fact that i got charlie in your quiz is sparking concern for some reason... the questions were great and the description of the result was uncomfortably accurate.
hi!! if you wanted to or are interested in it, i loved your knox x neil fic and would love a sequel ?? or just something else in general :) (btw i took your quiz and got charlie ! )
i would absolutely LOVE to write a sequel! i think those two are actually pretty cute together!! stay tuned ;)
Hi:) Just stumbled across your blog & super excited about it! Could you do a Knox/Charlie oneshot? Soft/nervous Charlie confessing to Knox that heâs been into him since forever? Ty & I hope youâre having lovely holidays x
yo!!! i kinda ran outta steam for tn but expect somethin tomorrow ;) im having so much fun writing this and im so excited to post it! also thank u for giving me the opportunity to write charlie ahh i love him
happy holidays to you as well!!! â„ïžâ„ïžâ„ïž
warnings: none except lots of swearing and brief references to drinking/smoking
OH AND PRETTY IN-DEPTH DESCRIPTION OF A PANIC ATTACK
summary: Charlie pines for knox for like 2 years and when knox gets dumped by Chris Charlie sees the perfect time to make his move. very cute! written from charlies pov :)
I HOPE YOU ENJOYYYY
For someone whose entire identity revolved around breaking rules, Charlie Dalton sure had a lot of personal policies.Â
Did he follow them? Well, not always. For Charlie, it was a matter of how important the policy was to living his best, carefree life.
The Charlie Dalton Guide to Living Your Best Carefree Life:
Donât take anyoneâs shit (especially not Cameronâs)
Donât cry in front of anyone, ever.*
Donât catch feelings for anyone.
*exceptions to rule 2: Neil
So, yeah, Charlie had his shit pretty much figured out.
Until his life came to include Knox Overstreet. In ninth grade, Charlie had arrived back to Welton to find that God had taken a giant shit on him, which manifested itself in Nolan splitting up him and Neil. Might it have had something to do with the noise complaints? Perhaps, but in Charlieâs eyes, dwelling on specifics was a waste of time.
That year, his roommate was a preppy-looking new kid from somewhere in Massachusetts. Knox Overstreet. They had shaken hands. Charlie shook reluctantly, partially blaming Knox for his loss of Neil as a roommate, while Knox shook eagerly, looking forward to getting to know this pint-sized carton of teenage angst that was now his roommate.
And so, they became friends. Or, mostly friends. Until sophomore year, when Charlie had his first panic attack and Knox was the only one around.
âChar, dâyou think Nolan would notice if I didnât wear a ti- hey, are you okay?â
Charlie, who had just a moment ago been hanging onto Knoxâs every word as if his life depended on it, had turned pale and sank down on the bed, eyes wide. He felt as if he was sinking, down, down, away from Knox and the outside world. The confusion had hit first, followed closely by the realization that holy fuck, he couldnât breathe.
âKnox, Knox, I canât breatheâ
His mouth wasnât opening when he told it to. Fuck, was he crying? Was Knox still in the room? Fuck, he needed to sit down, fuck, he was already sitting down, Christ, he was dying.
âKnox, fuck, fuck, Iâm dying, I canât fucking breathe and Iâm dyingâ
The words did escape him this time, but in the form of unintelligible babbling and tears and shallow gasps that shook his whole body.
Knoxâs arms wrapping around him was unexpected. At first, he panicked, but then the world began to come back, and he could hear Knoxâs voice telling him he was okay, that he was going to be alright.Â
They stayed like that for a few hours, with Charlie shaking gently in Knoxâs arms, and Knox holding him and whispering softly in his ear
âItâs alright, Iâve got you, Iâm never letting go.â
The next morning, Charlie thought about things. It wasnât a common occurrence, but it needed to be done. He thought about Knox, and how he had checked on him before leaving for breakfast. He hadnât been even the least bit condescending about what had happened, just concerned and caring.
âYou gonna be okay?â
âYeah, Knoxious, Iâll be fine.â
âYou know itâs okay if the answer is no.â
âI said Iâm fine, Knox, JesusâŠâ
But he had smiled after Knox as the boy walked out of their dorm. Not a smirk, a smile. And it was then, in that moment, when Charlie Dalton realized he was fucked.
The Charlie Dalton Guide to Living Your Best Carefree Life:
Donât take anyoneâs shit (especially not Cameronâs)
Donât cry in front of anyone, ever.*
Donât catch feelings for anyone. Donât let feelings fuck shit up
*exceptions to rule 2: Neil, Knox?
Since then, it had been a steady decline into hopelessness for Charlie. The worst part? He didnât hate it. He had grown to enjoy hiding his blush behind a scoff when Knox said something overly romantic. He had come to like the way they jokingly flirted with each other, the way he sometimes wondered if Knox could read his mind, the way he sometimes hoped that he could. He had even been sad, senior year, when Knox wasnât his roommate anymore. His sadness increased tenfold when he realized that Cameron was his roommate, but Cameron aside, still tragic. Charlie and Knox had grown into a comfortable dynamic that barely crossed the line between friendly and flirty, and Charlie genuinely loved it. He loved Knox. And sometimes it felt like maybe this wasnât just a one sided thing.
So, the devastation Charlie felt when Knox came home from dinner at the Danburysâ house wearing a starry-eyed expression Charlie had never seen was so thick it was nearly tangible. It engulfed Charlie entirely. He was separate from the others, and his sadness trapped him. He loved Knox, and now he knew for sure that it was only one-sided.
The Charlie Dalton Guide to Living Your Best Carefree Life:
Donât take anyoneâs shit (especially not Cameronâs)
Donât cry in front of anyone, ever.*
Donât catch feelings for anyone. Donât let feelings fuck shit upÂ
*exceptions to rule 2: Neil, Knox?
The rest of the year had been hell. Between Neilâs dad threatening to put him in military school and Keating nearly losing his job over Charlieâs newspaper article, life kinda sucked in the eyes of Charlie Dalton. So much so, that he didnât even feel bad when Knox came to study group and told them that Chris had dumped him. Of course, he had acted like it, but deep down inside, Charlie was fed up of being in love and not doing anything about it, and life was finally giving him a chance.
He struck on the way to a Poets meeting, pretending to trip over a branch and taking Knox down with him. He nodded at Neil to go ahead, adding a wink to assure him that he had fallen on purpose. Confused, but trusting Charlie, Neil ushered the others ahead as Charlie and Knox struggled to regain their footing in the thick brush.
âWhat the hell, Charlie, weâre gonna get lost!â Knox frantically waved ahead, calling for Neil, but it was too late. The others had disappeared. It was go time.
âListen, Knoxious, I thought we could maybe have our own little meeting tonight.â Fuck, Charlie was nervous. He never got nervous. He tried to channel the bravado that had become his shield, but Knox quite literally left him disarmed. He took a deep breath before continuing. âYâknow, just me and you.âÂ
âOh, is this to get my mind off of Chris? Because I appreciate it, but Iâm fine, okay?â
He clearly was not fine. Charlie knew that. He knew the way Knox curled in on himself when he was trying not to cry, as if he was trying to hide away his heart. He knew the way his eyes darted away when he was trying not to cry. Charlie had spent years learning Knox, without even knowing it was happening. He knew by heart the way Knox breathed when he was pretending to be asleep, the way he shook silently when he cried, and the way he wilted like a neglected plant when he got bad news. He knew that Knox took longer showers when he was upset, and he knew that if he slept with his back to Charlie that he was thinking deeply about something. He knew that Knox hated smoking, hated drinking, but never complained about it when Charlie did it, for some reason. He knew the way Knox looked at him when he was upset. He knew the difference between a happy laugh, a strained laugh, a laugh of disbelief, and the sarcastic chuckle he reserved for Charlieâs jabs at Cameron.Â
He knew so much about Knox, and he realized in that moment that his crush was so much more than just a crush, and that realization propelled him to do what he did in that moment, which was to bring his hand gently to cup Knoxâs cheek, turning his face back upwards.
âKnoxious. Knox. You arenât fine, and thatâs okay. Just, I hate to see you upset, and I wanted to maybe⊠do something about it.â
âAnd what could you possibly do about it, Charlie?â Knox snapped, but his eyes were soft.
Charlie shrugged. What could he do about it? He knew that Knox probably needed space after the breakup, but his mind wouldnât let him waste this perfect chanceâŠ
âChar?â
The use of his nickname startled him into looking back up at Knox, whose eyes had shifted from sadness to⊠concern, and something else. Affection?
Charlie realized that his hand was on Knoxâs face still, and he graced his thumb lightly under Knoxâs eye as if he were wiping away invisible tears.
âKnox, IâŠâ
Fuck, Knox was so beautiful. The moonlight settled in his hair and made it look as though he was some sort of angel. Ethereal.
âWhat?â
Fuck, of course he had said that out loud.
âKnox, did Chris ever tell you that youâre ethereal?â
Was he mistaken, or did Knoxâs cheeks turn pink at that question? Charlie stared at him in wonder, his heart racing.
âCharlie, are you alright?â
Without thinking, Charlie moved his hand to lightly grasp Knoxâs wrist, bringing it to rest where his heart was threatening to burst from his body.Â
âFeel that?â
âYour heart?â
âYeah.â
Knoxâs eyes were like moonbeams. They bore into Charlie, but softly. He felt as though he was floating in them.
âItâs yours.â
Knoxâs lips parted in surprise, and Charlie tried not to forget the rest of what he had planned on saying.
âMy heart, Knox. Itâs yours. AndâŠâ he took a breath, âAnd, listen, I know that you and Chris just.. broke up, but I need to tell you now before my nerves get the best of me. I love you. Iâve loved you for years. Iâm so deeply in love with you that I think Iâm going crazy, and I needed to tell you that. Knox, youâre so beautiful. IâŠâ
Knox cut him off with his lips, and Charlie thought he must have died and somehow gotten into Heaven, because holy fuck his hands were in Knoxâs hair and Knox was gripping the edges of his coat and his lips were so soft and he tasted like vanilla and mint and it was intoxicating. He felt like he was drowning, but in the most beautiful way possible, and he couldnât get enough, and then the kiss was over. They broke apart, Knox pulling away for breath.
âHoly shit, Knoxious.â
âCharlie, I⊠I love you too.â
They smiled at each other. Charlie searched Knoxâs face for any hints of fear, regret, or dishonesty, but found only genuine happiness and, yeah, the way he was looking at him sure looked a hell of a lot like love.
âFuck.â
âKiss me again?â
Grinning, Charlie obliged happily. They stayed like that for hours, brought back to earth only by the sounds of the poets returning from their meeting, Meeks and Pitts with their arms around each other and Neil with his hand in Toddâs.
At the sight of Charlie and Knox with swollen lips and messy hair, stargazing in each otherâs arms, the couples exchanged knowing looks.
âPittsie, you owe me a dollar.â That had been Neil.
Charlie sat up, smiling, and he and Knox joined the rest of the boys in walking back to their dorms.
Back in their room, as he and Cameron got ready for bed, the content smile never left Charlieâs face. He was so happy, he didnât even give Cameron the usual shit.
âSo, you and Knox?â
Okay, maybe he could give Cameron a little bit of the usual shit.
âYep! Howâs it feel to be the seventh wheel, Dick?â
A bunched up shirt to the face was the answer he was given. He didnât even retaliate.
The Charlie Dalton Guide to Living Your Best Carefree Life:
Donât take anyoneâs shit (especially not Cameronâs)Â
Donât cry in front of anyone, ever.*
Donât catch feelings for anyone**. Donât let feelings fuck shit upÂ
Hi:) Just stumbled across your blog & super excited about it! Could you do a Knox/Charlie oneshot? Soft/nervous Charlie confessing to Knox that heâs been into him since forever? Ty & I hope youâre having lovely holidays x
yo!!! i kinda ran outta steam for tn but expect somethin tomorrow ;) im having so much fun writing this and im so excited to post it! also thank u for giving me the opportunity to write charlie ahh i love him
happy holidays to you as well!!! â„ïžâ„ïžâ„ïž
its a bit of a odd pair but maybe some neil x knox?? hcs if you do them or a confession fic đđ
confession one shot, coming right up!
A Punch in the Right Direction (Knox x Neil)
Warnings: underaged drinking, language, slight mentions of blood, slight mentions of homophobia (only in the beginning!)
I PROMISE YOU ITâS WAYYY FLUFFIER THAN IT SOUNDS LOLL
when neil befriends a girl at rehearsals, he has no idea that she will single-handedly deliver him his doom... in the form of one, stupidly wasted knox overstreet. chaos ensues. also Todd and Stick are boyfriends because I can, and because that funky lil man will have a place in everything I write (I am but a stick stan account). ENJOY!!! let me know what you think!
Neil Perry had always known he was gay. He knew right when he kissed Charlie in the first grade, on a dare from Pitts, that this was what a crush was supposed to feel like. He accepted early on in life that the world was not kind to people like him. He understood that words like âqueer,â âfairy,â and âhomoâ were names for people like him, and that the sneers of disgust that accompanied them were just part of a package deal. He knew when he started school at Welton Academy that there was the inevitable danger of crushing on roommates and friends, and by his senior year at the all boys school, he was used to the routine of identifying and burying unwanted feelings until they were forgotten. So, when Knox Overstreet had leaned against his doorframe on the first day of school, smirking like an idiot, Neil had no problem identifying the beginnings of a crush bubbling in his chest. He had no problem, when Knox had reached out to shake the hand of Neilâs new (incredibly shy) roommate, pushing down the goofy smile that had threatened to spread on his face at how sweet Knox was being. Neil Perry had a crush on Knox Overstreet, and, given his previous experiences, it was about as scary as a kitten.
He had no problem hiding his disappointment when Knox announced he wouldnât be at study group that night, even trying to pull him out of his obvious state of disappointment- âanythingâs better than Hell-ton hash, KnoxâŠâ he had said, with just the perfect amount of nonchalance to make it convincing. Oh well, he thought, at least it would be easier to focus on the trig homework he needed to finish.Â
And, when Knox returned, looking like his head was stuck in the atmosphere of Jupiter, Neil had so convincingly feigned his excitement when Knox had announced his infatuation with Chris- âare you crazy? Whatâs wrong with that?â- when the only thought going through his head had been you idiot, she has a boyfriend. What about me? Iâm right here?Â
Neil Perry was, for the most part, a good actor. He could play the part of the excited friend, the matchmaker, the hopeless romantic, and he could play them with ease. It was Toddâs fault, really, that everything had begun to unravel. That the feelings became too much to bury. In Neilâs experience, once it was out in the open, thereâs no going back. If only Todd wasnât so damn observant.
The conversation had gone somewhat normal, in the beginning:
âI dunno, Todd⊠I guess I just donât understand it! I mean, she has a boyfriend already! If Knox really loves her so much, why isnât he happy for her?â
âNeil, no offense, but donât you have more important things to worry about than Knoxâs love life?â
âLike?â
âLike, just about everything else? Why is it so important to you, anyways?â
That had shut Neil up. Maybe he wasnât too good at hiding his feelings, after all. Then, the dreaded question reared its ugly head.
âDo you⊠like Knox?â
He had never been good at this part, the part where he had to lie about his feelings. Usually, nobody could even tell something was off, and he never even had to think about what to say if someone guessed. Todd was just⊠different, somehow. Neil knew he was also queer. He had seen Todd holding hands with another boy from their hall, nicknamed Stick. They were a nice couple, and Neil had to bite back his jealousy at seeing what he only wished he could have with Knox.Â
âNeil? You know you can tell me, right?â
âYou know the answer to that question already.â
Todd gave a small nod and moved to sit next to Neil, putting an arm around his shoulders.
âYou know, I may be the newest addition to this friend group, but I donât think Chris is the one Knox really wants.â
And before Neil could process the implications of the statement, Stick was at their door, and Todd was waving goodbye to Neil and leaning to kiss his boyfriend hello, and then they were gone.
But, if not Chris, then who? The question haunted his mind for days, and by the end of October, Neil Perryâs crush had grown into quite a bit more, which meant that burying his feelings was about to get a hell of a lot more complicated. Thanks to rehearsals and a new friend, maybe even impossible.
Neil enjoyed rehearsals. He loved watching his fellow actors lose themselves in the performance. He loved listening to the chatter of the tech crew as they discussed backdrops and lighting. He loved the smell of sawdust and paint that lingered in the air and on his clothes. The one thing he never really got the hang of was the talking. Despite being known as a social butterfly at Welton, the mixture of Henley Hall girls and public school kids was a whole new atmosphere for him, and if thereâs one thing Neil Perry hated, it was change. So, when the girl who played Hermia walked up and introduced herself, he was so overjoyed at the prospect of a friend that he hadnât stopped to ponder over the familiarity of her surname.Â
âHey, you look a little lost! Iâm Ginny, Ginny Danbury. I play Hermia.â
He had looked up, unsure at first of whether he was the one being addressed. In discovering that he was, his face broke out into the trademark Neil Perry Smile, the one he reserved for his dad and Dr. Nolan.Â
âNeil. Perry. I, uh, I play Puck.â
They had shaken hands, he in his crown of twigs, and she in her pink tulle dress, and a friendship was born.Â
Two weeks before the performance, she mentioned her older brother.Â
âSo, I got home last night, and Chet- thatâs my brother, by the way- Chet asked me if I had been hooking up with someone. Apparently, he thinks the only valid reason to be out late is if youâre getting laidâŠâ
She had kept talking after that, but Neil had stopped listening. What had Knox said about that girl? Practically engaged⊠to Chet Danbury. When rehearsal was over that night, Ginny asked Neil a question.
âWould you mind giving me your phone number?â
â
The smell of cheap liquor greeted Knox before he had even opened the door. Charlieâs words rang in his head; you donât really think she means youâre going with her? He was right, after all⊠this was Chrisâs boyfriendâs house, and he was a guest. His guest. He was really starting to regret passing up a Poets meeting for this, when he could have been cozied up next to Neil in the cave. Neil⊠with his perfect brown eyes that should be considered national treasures, in Knoxâs opinion, and a voice like velvet⊠Neil, the reason he had even begun pursuing Chris in the first place, as a way to distract him from the true object of his affections. Neil, whose absent-minded, yearning looks were surely reserved for everyone, not just him⊠keep it together, Knox, tonight is the night you forget about Neil Perry, once and for all.
âCarpe diem, Knoxious⊠carpe diem.â
He opened the door.
About an hour later, he was wasted. His earlier attempt to get a beer had been sabotaged by two football players who were a little too closely acquainted with the bottles of vodka and whiskey lined up on the counter. Before he knew what was happening, his beer had been replaced by a shot of liquor that smelled exactly like the stuff his sisters used to clean off their nail polish, and he had been affectionately dubbed âMutt Sandersâ brotherâ by the shorter of the two jocks, despite his protests of never having met a Mutt Sanders. A few shots later and he was stumbling into the basement, nearly incoherent. What happened after that would surely remain burned into his memory forever, but the most that he could bring himself to tell anyone was that he had somehow ended up on the floor with a bloody nose and a splitting headache.
The full story is a bit more complicated. Knox, intoxicated and feeling brave, had begun his search for Chris in the kitchen, weaving around crowds of people he didnât know. If he had been sober, he certainly would have been a little less obvious, but Knox Overstreet was a man on a mission, and although the alcohol helped him focus on the task at hand (find Chris, woo Chris, (maybe) hook up with Chris, fall in love with Chris, forget Neil Perry), it certainly didnât aid him in his attempts at subtlety. By the time he managed to get to the basement, he forgot why he was there.
Neil, Knox, youâre here to find- no, youâre here to FORGET Neil. Find Chris, forget Neil. Find Chris, forget Neil. It was here that Knox began to feel the fourth shot in his legs, and he quickly moved to sit on the couch before they gave out. Cursing his low alcohol tolerance, he began to scope out the crowd in the basement for Chris, when he suddenly became aware of two things at once: the presence of an annoyingly loud couple mid-makeout on his right, and the sleeping presence of Chris Noel on his left. And Knox Overstreet, in a burst of alcohol-infused idiocy, began to stroke her hair, and suddenly it wasnât Chris on the couch beside him, but Neil. Neil Perry, and he was smiling up at Knox, saying something that Knox couldnât understand because all he could see was the shape of Neilâs lips, moving ever so slowly towards his, and in that moment, as their lips met, time seemed to slow down, and the voices and music were all combining into a kind of ambient soundtrack- that is, until the distorted voice of Kitchen Jock #1 made its way into Knoxâs alcohol-muddled brain, pulling him back to earth in word form.
Chet⊠CHET, itâs Mutt Sandersâ brother! And heâs feelinâ up YOUR GIRL!
And he wasnât kissing Neil, he was kissing Chris, and she wasnât asleep, she was sitting up, asking him what he was doing, and, hell, what was he doing? As he opened his mouth to answer her, he picked up a bright red blur in his peripheral vision, moving towards him.
Next thing he knew, he was on the floor.
â
There was a knock on the door.
âMr. Perry. You have a phone call.â
âYessir, Iâll be right there, sir.â
Todd shot him a confused look from where he was sat on the floor with Stick. He and Neil had left the Poets meeting about ten minutes after Charlie showed up with girls and liquor, and Meeks and Pitts had soon followed. The latter two had denied their invites to a study group, which meant they were most definitely making out in their room, so Todd had asked Neil about inviting Stick to work on the Latin conjugation assignment together, to which Neil had happily agreed.
In all honesty, Neil was glad for the phone call. Todd and Stick were so cute together it was nearly maddening, especially when Neil could so easily imagine him and Knox together in the same ways. The gentle brush of their shoulders against one another as Todd checked Stickâs spelling, the way Stick watched Toddâs lips moved as he practiced his pronunciations⊠to anyone else, it would have been endearing, but to Neil it felt like a lifetime prison sentence.Â
Dr. Hager handed him the telephone when he got to the end of the hall, and he nodded a âthank youâ before watching the man disappear into his room.
âHello, this is Neil Perry?â
âNeil, thank goodness youâre there!â
âGinny?â
âYes, oh, Iâm so sorry to bother you on a Friday night, but thereâs been a bit of an⊠incidentâŠâ
Shit. Knox had been at the Danburysâ house. Neilâs blood turned to ice.
âWhat sort of incident? Is everyone alright?â
âWell, sort of⊠do you happen to know Knox Overstreet?â
Boy, did he everâŠ
So thatâs how Neil ended up at the Danburysâ house at 10 pm on a Friday night, picking up a bleeding (and incredibly drunk) Knox. Ginny hadnât been able to tell him what happened, and nobody else got a good look, but the story was that, while an intoxicated Knox had been trying to dance with Chris, Chet noticed and punched him in the nose. Neil believed it.Â
So there they were, sitting on the dock near the lake as Neil pressed snow to the bruise that was rapidly forming around Knoxâs eye.Â
Around 11, Neil deemed Knox sober enough to take back to the dorms without causing suspicion, and they crept up the stairs and down the hall to Neilâs and Toddâs dorm.
Neil softly pushed the door open with his foot to see Todd at his desk, surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper. Upon seeing Knoxâs inebriated state and the exhausted look on Neilâs face, he immediately jumped to help Knox out of his coat and tie while Neil guided him to sit on one of the beds.
âNeil! Buddy! Howâd you get here?â
Neil and Todd immediately shushed Knox, whose bruised face contorted into a frown.
âSorryyyyâ was the slurred response, given in a sort of whisper-yell smoothie.
âKnoxy, donât talk. Your nose is still bleeding.â Neilâs voice was dripping in concern, which caused one of Toddâs eyebrows to perk up in his tell-tale âI told you soâ smirk. Knox was preoccupied with trying to lick the blood from his nose âto clean it!â, and Neil was trying to get him to sit still.Â
After about an hour, Todd had gone to room with Hopkins for the night, to his immense gratitude (drunk Knox was not a character Hopkins was particularly interested in dealing with, and neither Todd nor Neil blamed him one bit). Knox, who had sobered up enough to gain the ability to form coherent sentences (but not a filter) was delighted to fill Neil in on the happenings of the party, to which Neil couldnât bring an objection from his lips. As annoying as he could be, Neil loved Knoxâs ramblings, sober or otherwise.
âAnd then, I was sitting on the couch and the strangest thing happened! Chris was there, but it wasnât really Chris! It was you, Neil, can you believe it? You were there!â
Neil hummed in mock surprise, grabbing the cup of water he had gotten from the bathroom and wetting another towel.
âNo, Neil, you gotta remember, you kissed me! Well, you almost didâŠâ
Neil froze, almost dropping the water.
âI.. did what?â
âYou kissed me, silly! And I thought I was drunkâŠâ
âKnox, I wasnât at the party⊠I didnât kiss you.â
The crushed look on Knoxâs face at Neilâs words would have been adorable if it hadnât been so sadâŠ
âYou⊠didnât kiss me?â Neil shook his head slowly. âBut then, who did I kiss?â
âKnox, Chrisâs boyfriend punched your lights out. You were seeing things.â
âBut Neil, you donât get it. That was supposed to be our kiss!â
âShh, Knox, stop moving so much. Your nose isnât bleeding anymore, so letâs get you to bed. Can you stand up?â
Knox pouted, pouted, which almost caused Neil to drop dead on the spot, and stood up shakily before giggling and leaning into the wall.
âNope!â He sang, popping the âp.â
Neil sighed. Knox was wearing jeans and a dress shirt, which meant he was going to be incredibly uncomfortable. Might as well do it now, then at least he wonât remember if anything embarrassing happensâŠ
âKnox, youâre going to be uncomfortable sleeping in that.â
âSo strip me, Perry, Iâm not afraid,â he said with a drunken attempt at a wink that should not have made Neilâs heart flutter in the way that it did. He sighed and moved to unbutton Knoxâs shirt, breathing another sigh of relief when he was met with the sight of a cotton t-shirt underneath. Crisis number one, averted.
âIf I hold onto your shoulders, can you get your own pants off?â
âYyyyyyeup!â It took Knox three tries to find the button on his jeans, but eventually, his clothes were folded neatly on Neilâs desk and Knox was sitting on the bed in just a t-shirt and boxers.
âYou know, Neil, itâs your fault I went to that stupid party anyways.â
âPardon?â
âYour fault, Neil. You and your stupid hair and your stupid face⊠youâre so stupid and fucking hot and it drives me so insane. Itâs your fault I tried so hard to get Chris, and⊠and itâs your fault that my fucking nose is broken. There, I said it.â
There had only ever been a handful of times where Neil Perry was rendered fully speechless. Usually, it happened when his father said something particularly nasty, or when Todd occasionally worked up the courage to read his original poems at DPS meetings. But nothing could have prepared him for what Knox Overstreet said to him at 11:30pm on that fateful Friday night as he knelt on the floor between his legs.
âWh-what?â
âYouâre so stupid, Neil⊠I canât do this anymore.â
And before he could say anything, Knox pulled him in by his tie and captured Neilâs parted lips with alcohol drowned ones of his own.
Neil pushed him away with no hesitation. âKnox, I-â
âNeil, come on⊠first Chris, now you too?â
âKnoxâŠâ
âNo, Neil. You always talk, now Iâm talking. Iâm in love with you, and I thought maybe you might have been in love with me after tonight, but I was wrong and Iâm starting to think that maybe going after Chris was a good thing, because she made me forget about you, even if it was just a little bit for a little bit of time. IâmâŠâ Knox went silent as Neil kissed him again, softly.
âKnox, I like you. I like you a lot, actually, but youâre still really drunk and we should wait to talk about this, yeah?â
He stroked Knoxâs hair softly, smiling when the other boy nodded and leaned into his touch.
âOkay. Iâm gonna get ready for bed now, alright? Iâm not leaving, I promise.â
Knox hummed affirmatively, getting under the covers of Neilâs bed.
âSmells like you⊠smells nice.â He buried his face in Neilâs pillow.
Neil smiled as he turned off the lights and got into Toddâs bed, listening to Knoxâs quiet snores until he fell asleep.
â
âFuckâ
Knox opened his eyes, and immediately regretted it when the world exploded, sending shards of light and color into his aching brain. Groaning, he buried his face in his (no, not his, his was softer?) pillow, wincing at the unexpected throb around his eye. He rolled over, facing the ceiling, moving an arm up to cover his eye when he heard the door open and relaxing immensely when he heard Toddâs voice.
âMorning, Knoxious. You okay?â Toddâs concern was evident, which made Knox feel a lot better. He loved that about Todd, he made up for what he lacked in confidence with an abundance of love and care for other people. Here he was now, handing Knox a bad of ice and a plate of pancakes from the diner he loved in town.
âStick and I got breakfast this morning, thought you could use a hangover cure. Oh, which reminds me, I also brought you this,â he said, handing Knox a cup of water and a bottle of aspirin. He took everything with a smile, which widened when he saw Todd return it. Todd never smiled, and when he did, it was almost always genuine, and it made Knox feel warm inside to know that he had caused it.
âWhereâs- ahem- whereâs Neil?â Knox cleared the sleep from his throat and gulped down a couple pills before digging into the pancakes- blueberry. My favorite! Todd knows my favorite!
âOh, uh, I actually donât know,â Todd shrugged, furrowing his eyebrows, âHe might be down by the dock? He goes there to study sometimes when heâs conflicted.â
Knox nodded, drinking the rest of the water and making quick work of the remaining pancakes.
âIâm gonna go find him. We gotta talk. If you see him, let him know Iâm looking for him, alright?â
Knox got out of bed, only slowing for a moment when he realized he wasnât wearing pants, before grabbing his jeans from their place on Neilâs chair and tugging them on before leaving the room.
Knox Overstreet had shitty hangovers. He had the headaches, the nausea, the fatigue, the dehydration, you name it⊠but he couldnât seem to get wasted enough to ever forget anything. Usually, that was a good thing. As Knox marched towards the dock, he couldnât decide whether he was glad to have the memories of the previous night, or if he wished that they would disappear forever.
His eyes are so fucking pretty. Fuck, how could I ever think I was in love with Chris when he was right here in front of me?Â
âKnox? You okay?â
âMmm. Youâre pretty, thatâs all.â
He had laughed, then. God, his laugh was like music. His laugh was music.
âYouâre pretty too, Knoxy.â
Fuck. It was too much, he was right here, and he had just taken Knoxâs shirt off, and he was sitting on the floor between his legs, and it was all too much.Â
Carpe fucking Diem.
âYouâre so stupid, Neil⊠I canât do this anymore.â
Knox was grateful for Neilâs tie in that moment, because it was the one thing tethering him to the mortal world. Neilâs lips felt like home, and he knew it was more than just a drunken kiss. He was made to be kissing Neil, and he felt like he could do it forever.
And then it had ended.
âKnox, I-â
âFuck.â He cursed at himself, the memory hurting his head worse than the alcohol or the bruise.Â
âI like you a lot, actuallyâŠâ
âYouâre pretty drunk stillâ
âWait to talk about this, yeah?â
âKnox! Down here!â
Speak of the fucking devil. Neil Perry, looking as beautiful as ever, was sitting on the dock, long legs sprawled out, reading glasses balanced on the tip of his nose. He looked delicious. Knox shoved back those thoughts before they made themselves known on his physical form and waved at Neil, walking towards him.
âHey, Neil.â
âIâm glad youâre up! How are you? Howâs your head?â
ââM fine, Neil. Really. Thanks to you and Todd.â
As he sat down next to Neil, he couldnât tell if the look the other boy gave him was a look of concern or of longing.
âThe bruise actually looks a lot better. Iâll bet itâs gone completely by Monday.â
Knox tried to hide the way his breath hitched as Neilâs hand moved to cup his cheek, stroking the area around his eye so tenderly it should have been illegal.
âNeilâŠâ
âI know. We need to talk about last night.â
âI shouldnât haveâŠâ
âActually, Iâm⊠Iâm glad you did. Considering you meant it, at least.â
Knox was speechless. He had planned a whole speech out on his way down, only to have all words robbed from him by the flecks of sunlit gold in Neilâs brown eyes.Â
I love you
âI did. Mean it, that is⊠I definitely meant it.â
Jesus Christ, I love you, Neil Perry
âThen you wonât mind if⊠if I did it again?â
