A Non-Exhaustive Ranking of a few Major Train Systems, by an American who REALLY appreciates Convenient Public Transport
Amtrak (USA): One of the only public trains in the US and the first train I ever used. Comfortable seats and wifi throughout and all the seats have little tables on the back like places have, which is nice. Unfortunately, the US transit system being what it is, it’s only really useful for traveling between large cities, not within a city itself. 6/10
The Subway (NYC): Yooooooo. Truly a Boss Bitch™ of public transportation. A little overwhelming at first due to the SHEER MAGNITUDE of the system but very easy to use, convenient, and affordable as all transfers are free. Points taken off for poor ADA accessibility at the majority of stations and because she’s definitely the grimiest. Also these trains should have wifi by now, Jesus. 8/10
The L (Chicago): The Subway’s baby sister who maybe got a little too into recreational drugs during college but she took a semester off and she’s doing much better now. I live in Chicago so I’m biased, but I LOVE the L. Definitely not as many stations as NYC or London (RIP to the West Side) but pretty much the only way to get around downtown unless you want to get an Uber or pay out the ass for street parking; (we don’t have taxis in Chicago.) She’s not perfect but I love her and I’m the one doing the rankings so… 7/10
The Underground (London): Why??? Is it so??? Fucking HOT on the Underground??? Like, the NYC subway is pretty cold because it’s underground, and you’d think that a train system literally called The Underground would be similar, but guess a-fucking-gain. Also the train cars are weirdly narrow? There’s pretty much no standing room except for directly in front of the doors which is bizarre to me, especially given how tube-reliant London is. Also the seats have armrests which is cool I guess? Gets points back for better accessibility compared to most others, INCREDIBLE efficiency, and for the delightful intercom announcements - Mind the Gap, y’all 8/10
Métro (Paris): The entire rail system in Paris is so needlessly convoluted, it makes every other system on this list look 5x better in comparison. I had to go to a counter and buy MULTIPLE PAPER TICKETS for all the transfers because tap to pay at the terminal didn’t work. And GOD HELP YOU if you get all these fiddly little paper tickets mixed up, because once you scan them, even if the machine doesn’t process it and gives you an error, that bitch is GONE. (Shout out to the many random Paris locals that helped me navigate their hell-system with two suitcases.) Also, the fewest seats per train of all of them, which is just extra insult to injury. I did eventually get to where I needed to be so I guess there’s that. I guess. 3/10
Eurostar (Europe): She is Expensive, but there are bathrooms, food, and wifi onboard. And I got a passport stamp! 8/10
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