It's B, Bitch

Welcome to Briarwood Babble, your #1 source into all the scandalous lies and secrets that travel the halls of Briarwood College. Have you ever wondered about your classmates? Their secrets? Their imperfections. That's where I come in. I'm B, here to...

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

B, who do you think is most likely to go to jail?

As far as crazy goes? Isaac. He’d end up in the slammer. Probably taking Alora and Nolan with him, maybe even Audrey. 

But if you think about it ... TNT has the potential to end up in jail. For something like a crime of passion. I mean, look at how protective they all are over their significant others. Imagine what would happen if something really fucked up happened to one of those girls. We could possibly see how good the members of TNT would look in orange. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

So, B... Who are these "sources" you keep mentioning?

Oh, you know. Just little birdies that occasionally whisper in my ear. 

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B, do you think anyone will make it through the year without being mentioned in your blog?

Uh no, everyone has something worth me talking about. Unless they’re dead. But even then, the dead still have secrets. Like did you know that professor that died from a heart attack last spring had a stash full of kiddie porn? Ew. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

Hey B! What do you think of this year's freshmen?

They’re all a bunch of bright eyed assholes that need to be beat into submission. Thank Jesus we have Lexa at our our school. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

Hey B-who do you think is most likely to end up doing the Walk of Shame (not Delta Nu)?

Teddy. Teddy, Teddy, Teddy. He sluts around so much he makes the Delta Nu’s look like they live in a convent. Just give him some glittery shoes to carry with him, and send him on his way. 

But, in all honesty, girl wise ... Alora. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

hey b, i heard that one of the delta pledges is as fake as lexa's previously rumored boobs. is that true?

If you’re referring to Quinny Boo, we’re already so far ahead of you on this one. She’s as plastic as a Barbie. And it looks like Barbie is attracted to Uriel, with his fake ass personality. Looks like Barbie already found her Ken. 

Yeah, bitch. You can’t fool me. B knows all. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

which is better: the clean cut look or the manbun?

Neither. Manbun is too long and greasy. Clean cut, it’s boring. You’ve gotta have SOMETHING to grab onto. You know what I mean. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

B, whose most likely to end up staring in a porn?

Anyone that knows how to have any fun, duh... 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

Hey B, whose the most likely to get knocked up before the school year is over?

Our money’s on Audrey. We just get that feeling. A very intense feeling. As for the baby daddy…. probably Teddy. He’s enough of a skank. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

On a 1-10 scale

Nathan Ahn is about a 25.8 on hotness and an over 9000 on fuck-ability. We all questioned his sanity when he made his choice of girlfriend, though. WHY SETTLE DOWN?!? We liked the Nathan Ahn that slutted around! (It meant we had a chance...) Little miss Nam is about as sexy as a two year old ... 

Sometimes we have to stop and wonder how that relationship even works. 

Tell us, Nathan, do you watch Swayze do all the dirty dancing, or do you two get up to some dirty dancing yourselves? 

Kisses~ B

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

oh b, i wouldn't be screwing him for three years if he wasn't GOOD. but come on, good is such an understatement when it comes to "teddy-bear" - bella <3

Two of our questions today, answered! We thank you for your cooperation, Lexa. How about you share him every once in awhile? 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

hey B! do you believe alora's innocent/naive little girl routine?

Oh, not at all. We have classified her as a “praying mantis” type. Sweet until she gets what she wants, then heads will roll. We just hope we’re there to see it. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

Cause I’m apparently an ad agency...

Alora, Nolan, and Isaac are having an orgy and they need more participants. RSVP to Alora. Happy fucking. There, done. BOOM. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

Hey B! Who do you think is the biggest bitch at Briarwood?

Eherm, ehem cough cough LEXA cough. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

yea, they're real. - t

Well that was a very PROMPT answer. I’m glad you’re so interested in our blog, Teddy-bear. 

There you have it, right from Mr Lee himself ... they’re real. 

Now maybe we can get someone to shed some light on how good Teddy-bear is in bed. Any takers? Lexa, maybe? We’re oh so curious. 

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

On the topic of fake things...

Alexandra Reyes’ boobs, real or fake ... what do you think? Stick in my ask box. Teddy-bear, maybe you can shed some light on it for us... we all know you’ve touched them enough. 

Kisses~ B

[itsbee-bitch-blog]

The compensation conspiracy

Nolan Grayson. Tall. Built. Long, flowing hair, greasier than Miley Cyrus... but not all is as it seems. Dear Nolan is so proud of how tall he is, strutting around looking like a giant. We know the truth, though. Yes, we ALWAYS know the truth. Little Nolan is using his height to compensate for something. While his height may be impressive, he’s not that impressive downstairs. You heard me, folks. His oscar meyer weiner is roughly vienna sausage sized. No wonder he hasn’t done the deed with Alora yet... 

Kisses~ B