I knew from the moment we started spending more time together that something was wrong. A naive 18 year old girl didn’t know better and wanted to have someone to help guide herself and child through life. At the time, it was only you for here.
The constant reminders of “No one will want you because you have a kid. That’s not our responsibility to take care of”. I believed him. I believed that no one wanted to be with me because of the baggage I carried. He did though and I thought it would only be him. We would fight. We would argue and at first it was all verbal. Then it started to get worse. 4 years ago today he put his hands on me and punched the wall next to me. Tried to yank my child away and when he realized what had happened he begged me to stay. I left with a friend and cried my eyes out.
I still went back. I went back to him because he didn’t mean it. It was a one time thing. It got worse. I finally managed to leave him after the 7th time. He left my house and started to live my life without him. He would show up to my house and break into my home. I called the cops and they would take notes but he had connections in our town so nothing was ever done. I didn’t trust the police and I didn’t trust anyone.
The last time he hurt me was when he broke in and tried to go through my phone and I told him that’s not any of his business so he grabbed my phone and threw it on the ground and broke it. Then backed me into a room and threw glass at my head. It shattered and he cut himself. Told me if I called the cops he would tell them I did that to him and they would both arrest us for domestic assault.
I called crying on the phone (non emergency number) and asked for help and they told me to call the office. It was closed. I was hopeless and alone. I called my friends to come to me and we just sat in silence and made me not feel alone.
That was the end of it for me. I couldn’t do it anymore. I erased him from life. I changed the locks on my house and deleted everything connected to him. Everyone knew he was toxic but no one knew what all happened behind those doors.
Thinking back I’m so lucky to have gotten out. For a long time I felt like I would never be able to leave. I did. I did it for me and I did it for my son.
I am thankful to have a husband that has helped me through the trauma and piece back a heart that he never broke and pieced my sons together too. He has shown me real love and support. I deserved to be happy and he was my person.
