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substance is relative if you’re really paying attention actually listening closely no talk is really small talk everything is saying something nothing is quiet if you’re listening what you call surface is someone else’s depth the deeper you go the more comes up https://www.instagram.com/p/CY9hbtYrc12/?utm_medium=tumblr

maybe your dreams won’t happen how you think they will, but they definitely won’t happen if you don’t believe in them. maybe it won’t happen how you think it will, but it definitely won’t happen if you don’t think it will. https://www.instagram.com/p/CWbS6NGLKAH/?utm_medium=tumblr

why not—is what I always want to know. godforbid we love ourselves without permission. why can’t beauty be the reason when there’s no denying beauty when you see it—when you feel it? so the images are tired & cliche, say the words fail daily & do nothing but get in the way. for all that has no language yet, silence is our friend. so it’s all saying the same thing, even the quiet, what does that say about our values, our needs, what matters? you don’t argue with light for a better way to happen in your hands. you know what warmth is when it feels good. if it’s too hot, you move into the shade. too bright & you close your eyes. too heavy, & every patient inch you traverse becomes a tiny radiance you don’t need to see in order to know. you know better how to stand with the weight. you know better how to go your way. that there is a way to go. try saying enough to warmth on a sunny autumn day. try wishing the sun away on the days it starts to set sooner. try turning down the clouds when the falling sky is the only place that knows your name. you know beauty when you feel it, so why deny it when you see it— even in yourself. especially in yourself. why allow it when it looks like someone else, but doubt it if & when the things you make look like you? why can’t this life be our work of art? a playground where there are no rules, the way there are no mistakes in a sandbox. why does it need to be anything more than what it is. a castle too close to the shore is still a castle. a garden is whatever you say it is, and however it comes together, no matter what it resembles. what you breathe life into breathes life into you. the gardens you raise also raise you. the things you make also make you. you know what it is, without others ever needing to. is that not what the sun’s been saying all along. is that not what every thing’s singing all along? https://www.instagram.com/p/CWWHxZwLjGN/?utm_medium=tumblr

something only doing can teach you. https://www.instagram.com/p/CWL5w3fr-Si/?utm_medium=tumblr

The other day I shared a time-lapse of me writing & after watching it again, I noticed what doing those pages did to me. It did to me what the sun does to seeds. It did to me what the seed knows to do. They moved me & in a little, unseen way I grew. Those words, which were of no language before I wrote them, wrote me into motion & motioned me to write more. Think about the way thinking happens. They come like clouds do, from no direction in particular, shouldered by wind over a world that can’t see the stories they carry, only the shadows they cast. We name things & hope it’s enough. Label our emotions & hope it will hold still the stirring River a while. We gender ourselves & hope the androgynous River of spirit doesn’t mind the direction. I think about the directions in what has no direction, the way scattered things long for alignment. How chaos loves to dance with order. How constellations are stars light years apart born only of our presence here. It’s a connection we make, only a dimension of what’s actually there. When you are present with what you’re doing, what you’re doing becomes you. When you show up to an act, the act shows you how. It shows you the way. When you embody a gesture, you don’t only simulate action, you allow the act to come through you. You make way for what craves to be expressed to come through your creation. What you move into being becomes & keeps becoming. What you set into motion keeps going. Creation continues creation through inspiration. Inspiration is a form of psychic inertia. Action is fractal in spirit. What you write in motion writes your body into motion like breathing. When you consciously choose to breathe you only enable more intentional breathing. The act begets habit as the habit begets the act. You know this & yet it’s so easy to forget. What becomes of any way of being only keeps coming, revealing that there’s always more to reveal beneath the surface of what emerges. More on the horizon that longs to be born from the line. Look at the page. Look at your life. The urge of things to rhyme. The dying of things to rhyme into alignment. https://www.instagram.com/p/CWJZrxmPnWS/?utm_medium=tumblr

have the courage to have no idea. may your walk be the answer. may your journey through the unknown reveal the path that’s yours to pave was always the way home. some of my favorite excerpts from my latest newsletter, sign up to read via the link in my bio ✨☀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CV5_zmKL4r5/?utm_medium=tumblr

A Twist of Light, my latest newsletter is out now! You can read more via the link in my bio. In this newsletter I explore how our ideas of a thing can limit what we actually experience, and how the invisible force we call dark matter may actually be light matter, or even in collaboration with what we call Grace, so to speak. I’m really proud of this piece and it was really hard to stop myself from going on and on more & more. Today is the last day to order The Sun Underground, Salt into Gold T-shirt! (Only ten hours left actually) Endless love and gratitude to all of you who have supported me & the design thus far. It’s been such an empowering experience to see how many of you resonated with the message. I can’t wait to see how y’all style the t-shirt in your own way. Orders will start shipping November 15th! Once you receive yours please share your look so I can show off how you brought the words to life ✨ I’m hoping to get another little something together for us before the holidays so I’ll keep you all updated on that. Hope you’re all off to a beautiful week ♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CV3QPrBrzOu/?utm_medium=tumblr

the irony of being far from what’s familiar is that it brings us closer to ourselves. go the distance & difference always meets you in the middle. The Sun Underground “Salt into Gold” t-shirts will only be available another week only! Available for purchase via the link in my bio. ☀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CVlYowvv5UY/?utm_medium=tumblr

In elementary school, I had a teacher who used to say “haste makes waste.” I didn’t know what that meant then, but I do now. Once I took a quiz on MySpace to find my superpower—I wanted to control lightning or do cool stuff with fire, but it said my ability was the power to manipulate time. Manipulate time?—I thought. I do that already. Anyone can. Just forget your watch and when it’s near the end of class, see what happens. How the agitation that arrests the others on their rush to the last minute does nothing but cause the body distress. How time doesn’t even touch you when you’re in the moment. Even still when I travel I’m always amused by how quickly people on planes shoot up from their seats upon landing. When that “unbuckle your seatbelt” sign comes on, you hear all the click, clack, & clatter of belts unshackled, only to see them standing there, restlessly waiting for the flight attendant to give the go ahead, and only to wait for the people in front to pull their baggage and lug it slowly down the runway. I never understood that. Stillness never unsettled me. Until one time I found myself so restless in my seat after a long flight, so tired of sitting that I thought standing up so ardently that way, as if I had some place better to be, would really help me. You think you have control the way you think you have time. Urgency is not so much a matter of time & more a matter of energy. Time as we measure it today is just a way for us to feel in control of something we should probably be surrendering to. But what do I know—I’d probably be late to my own funeral. Sometimes I wonder if that quiz was actually a trick test with the illusion of options. If the designer made it seem like everyone had a chance to get different superpowers, but no matter the answers, everyone ended getting the ability to manipulate time. If that quiz after all was trying to tell me, tell us, something. But then I think it was only a silly MySpace quiz and it’s not that serious. But I’d like to imagine. I’d like to imagine. The Sun Underground “Salt into Gold” T-shirt will only be available for another week! They’re available for purchase via the link in my bio. https://www.instagram.com/p/CVionaxLaXg/?utm_medium=tumblr

you forget your beauty is not what you see, but what you are. not what you behold, but what you believe. not how you look, but what. there’s always more to see where you’re looking. the issue is never the issue. what surfaces is only that. if it’s not the matter at hand, it’s how you handle it. if it’s not how you handle it, it’s how you see things. consider your point of view— how it’s only a point of you. consider your point of view & keep going. keep going and what you find is that what surfaces always goes deeper. even a heavy depth is the face of something beyond entirely. & even the heaviest of matters can be made lighter when you sky the mind and view what weighs on you from above, from afar, from where you are. listen closely and you can hear your blood talking. let it speak. it’s all deep. https://www.instagram.com/p/CVgI3UyrA_S/?utm_medium=tumblr

Speaking of clouds, while doing my morning pages today I faced a bit of a heavy one myself. But in facing it, it only left me lighter. The more I write, the more I realize that having words for a friction might soften the turbulence of feeling it, but sometimes the only way to get through a moment of tension is to stop trying to understand it & just let it happen. Stop looking at the mysteries of your soul as some as some algebraic expression to solve, and let the math work itself out in the way you live & let yourself live your life. Stop trying to solve the quiet with language, and start listening to what there are no words for instead. Stop looking at the challenge as a test, and more like an invitation to meet yourself, reveal yourself, evolve. We all have the potential to do better & be better but that doesn’t mean we’re something to fix. Between all these notions of “broken & healed” there’s the nuance to understand those terms are not places. The beauty of arrival is measured by the value of getting there. There’s more to a destination than arrival. The day is not something to conquer but something to be with. Being here as you are never takes away from getting there. Sometimes the only fix is to stop trying & just let yourself happen. There’s a fine line between self reflection & endless self analysis. Merely observing your inner world with love, peace and patience makes a world of difference when you open your eyes. I noticed that in clearing that little obstacle I not only cleared a pathway between me & myself, but also allowed me to think about the people I love a little more purely. With a little less projection & that much more perspective. A little less expectation & that much more acceptance. And maybe that little change in vantage & view is just enough to shift the world around you. Maybe— Thank you to everyone who has bought The Sun Underground, Salt into Gold t-shirt. Your support has been such an empowering blessing, and I can’t wait to see how y’all bring the words to life. The Sun Underground “Salt into Gold” t-shirts will only be available for another 10 days! Sizes are limited so get yours now vía the link in my bio. ☀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CVdlgcnL9km/?utm_medium=tumblr

there’s wisdom in what there are no words for. you don’t have to know where you are or what you’re doing to know where you and what you’re doing. even if it is your responsibility to bring into awareness the unconscious parts of you, you are free to be a mystery. even to yourself. you can’t rush your unconscious into greater self awareness. words may lead you to the river but what it has to teach you can only be learned by being there. if there is no language for where you are, have no language. if there are no words for where you are, have no words. that’s how you find it. that’s how they find you. you can’t rush realization—let it come to you. https://www.instagram.com/p/CVYZaQDLwGI/?utm_medium=tumblr

it’s not what you miss that makes the world of difference, but how you notice and what you let it make you. let it make you wiser, better, that much more attentive, present, and patient. let what went unnoticed teach you how to be here more purely. what matters is what you do with your awareness now that you can’t unknow it. https://www.instagram.com/p/CVV7q_2rLND/?utm_medium=tumblr

what a series of permissions we must give ourselves in order to live purely. how deeply I wish to unlearn these limits. to live in the why not, and love yourself through the unknown, what a thing it is to find yourself free from all you used to need. https://www.instagram.com/p/CVTB1jcLe4z/?utm_medium=tumblr

You don’t need a thing you lose, you don’t need a thing you lose, you have to believe you don’t need a thing you lose. https://www.instagram.com/p/CVJG1Y7Lbuj/?utm_medium=tumblr

Night is indigo so you can feel it— It says this dark place is nothing to get away from, like a tempest passing through is already on its way & trusts the trees can take the turbulence, a past life, a hard time, is something to take on & hear out, not curtail, shush or shoo away— what flowers if it isn’t there for the rain? who heals from the hurt if you aren’t here for the pain? There’s always a clearing no matter the cloud. There’s always a clearing no matter the cloud. Turn salt into gold. Turn salt into gold. for early access to The Sun Underground, Salt into Gold t-shirt sign up to my newsletter via the link in my bio ✨ excerpts from my book, The Sun Underground & All The Colors in Between. https://www.instagram.com/p/CVD3j1nLfu0/?utm_medium=tumblr

remember, there’s always a clearing no matter the cloud. by remembering this, we turn salt into gold. we’re capable of that alchemy—always capable. a little perspective goes a long way in changing the state of one matter into another. the world as you see it really depends on the light you carry. unearthing the sun underground, making light of the heaviness of depth, is a gold inherent to all of us. I’m proud to announce that after some glimpses into the design and other little teasers, The Sun Underground, Salt into Gold T-shirt will be available for purchase on Monday, October 18. Stock will be limited and the window to purchase will be small, so to be among the first to gain access sign up to my newsletter “Horizons” via the link in my bio. In my latest newsletter “Turning Salt into Gold” I delve into the concepts that inspired this design and the connection between the symbols, title, and words. Read more about it there, more details here soon ✨ photos via. @localeila ☀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CU8DsHALT4C/?utm_medium=tumblr

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