A/n: okay, so this is what I came up with. Really hope you like it!!
Summary: Azriel and you are mates, but you were taken away from him.
It has been years already. He hadn’t felt the bond for more than a century. It simply went blank one day and hadn’t changed since.
You had been mates for almost three hundred years.
You were Mor’s friend from the Hewn City. The only one she trusted there.
And when your parents decided that you would marry one of the High Lord of Autumn’s sons to ensure the alliance with their court, since Mor hadn’t married Eris, you ran away.
Mor, of course, received you with open arms. She welcomed you in her city and helped you to find a house. One of your own.
Rhys, who you’ve known since you were a child, just like his cousin, gave you a job so you could have your own money.
You would help in the relations with other courts. Since living in the Hewn City made you know how to be extremely polite when needed, you would accompany Rhysand in the meetings and be the emissary when messages needed to be received.
They both presented you to the rest of the Inner Circle, as they called.
Once you arrived Mor invited you to dine with them. Even before settling in the city.
You met Amren. She was a little shorter than you, but not really that much. Her short black hair made her features sharper and the look of distaste she gave you when you arrived made you sure you both would be good friends.
There was also Cassian. He was playful and funny and a lot louder than you would like. But Mor was too, so you just made sure not to stay long when they were together. But he was sweet too. He trained you to fight since your parents didn’t let you back in the Hewn City. He would always joke with you about your hight and you would punch his face for that (because you were a good learner). But in the end you both cherished your friendship.
Azriel was… complicated. He would always be around, was it physically or through his shadows. But he never seemed to talk much. Being like that yourself made you want to understand him more than the others. So you kept your eyes open. And you kept studying his manners through some months. Until one evening, when you went to train in the middle of the night, because you had a nightmare with your parents and wanted to punch something, and found him there.
He didn’t look at you when you arrived at the House of Wind’s training match, but you knew he was well aware of your presence, since his shadows were circling your body.
You took a step closer and he stopped punching the training sack. He turned to you and his eyes were so intense that your knees almost gave up. But you kept yourself up.
He gave you one last look before taking some straps of cloth and handing them to you, to protect your fists, and then he went behind the sack to hold it for you to punch.
You didn’t know how he knew what you needed, but simply went along with it.
You started punching and soon you were sweating.
He held the sack in place, not even shaking when you hit, and looked at you.
He never took his eyes from you.
“What are you looking at?” You asked, still punching. Not bothering to be polite, he knew you didn’t mean to be rude.
“Why do you pay so much attention to everything I do?” He asked, not mad, just curious.
Of course he knew you were observing him.
“We are too similar,” you said calmly. “I just want to understand you.”
He seemed to be thinking about it. He knew what you meant. You wanted to understand yourself too.
You could see a ghost of a smile forming on his lips.
“All you had to do was ask.” He said playfully.
You blushed. He was right. You just had to get to know him, not observe him from afar.
Since that day you started spending a tiring amount of time together.
You did everything together. You would sometimes read together, talk, or just do nothing, taking in the peaceful silence as you would rest your head on his shoulder. You ate together too, when everyone was out and you both would stay at home, not wanting the other to be alone.
Until one day during Starfall.
It was already late night. The show hadn’t started yet. And you were dancing to the music in the streets of Velaris.
Mor was dancing with Rhys and Cass with a citizen around you both. Amren was at the corner, just watching.
Azriel had asked you to dance with him, since it was your first Starfall in the city.
He took your hand in his scared one and slowly began dancing, holding your lower back with the other to guide you.
You finally felt at home.
So when the stars started to fall on the sky and the bond clicked into place for you, you started crying.
Azriel only smiled sweetly at you, but you could see the fear in his eyes.
He was afraid of being rejected. He had known for some time and had decided to wait for the bond to click for you. He wanted you to be with him by option.
You looked him in the eyes, the tears still wetting yours.
“Do you want me?” You asked. You also wanted for him to have the choice of not accepting the bond.
“Gods, I think you are the only thing I ever wanted.” He breathed and you almost fell to your knees by the pure love that his voice held.
Your tears finally falling and running down your cheeks.
He held your face tenderly then. Azriel leaned in so your noses were almost touching.
“And you? Do you want me?” He murmured, so low that you almost didn’t hear.
You could faintly hear the people around you, but didn’t pay it any mind as you covered his bigger hands with yours on your check.
“Always” you breathed. And then you got on your toes and kissed him.
Since that day you had been mates. Never got separated.
Until you had to go to the Hewn City while Azriel was away on his duties. He would always go with you. He knew you weren’t comfortable there. But Rhys needed Keir’s updates in the city. So you went alone.
What you wouldn’t expect was to have a trap waiting for you on your way back home.
Now it has been hundreds of years, and you were still there, imprisoned by the Autumn Court. Beron’s son had chained you to the lowest floor of the castle, so nobody could hear your screams of agony when you were tortured by the brother you were supposed to marry. He was the only one who ever went down there.
He had become so angry by having their alliances broken by you and Mor that he wanted revenge. Him and the Hewn City. They were up to this together.
He would torture information out of you. Especially about your mate, the famous Shadowsinger. You resisted as much as you could, but with the years passing by your hope faded and you gave up.
At one point your skin was so marred that even he decided it was enough and let you rest. Your body was covered in scars now. And the only thing keeping you from losing your mind were the thoughts of your mate and his scarred hands.
Azriel, on the other hand, never lost his hope. He still believed you were alive. He had become so angry at Rhysand, for letting you go to that place alone, that they had spent years in a constant fight.
He couldn’t feel you anymore. The bond was silent. But he couldn’t lose his hope, otherwise his mind would go with it.
He had been away spying and when he returned, and didn’t see you, he panicked. He tried tugging at his side from the bond, but you never answered. He tried searching for you in every single place, but it was useless. You had been taken and couldn’t come back.
He became more close than he already was. He talked less and was more brooding than ever. Till Amarantha surfaced and he wasn’t able to search for you anymore. Rhys was gone, and he felt bad for the time he lost with his brother because of his lack of control. He almost went mad.
The only thing keeping him sane was Cassian, who would spar with him to relieve the tension.
The first thing he did when Amarantha was brought down was restart his search. But never successfully.
He met Feyre and, later on, her sisters. She was a good friend and High Lady. But to see his brother and her so happy together with their bond made him sick of his stomach. He needed you. More than anything.
Elain had tried to have him sometimes. She had never known of your bond, Azriel couldn’t bring himself to talk about you without almost crying, especially with a stranger to you.
Some time later Cassian finally settled his bond with Nesta and that was enough to bring his sadness to the verge of anger. He was more explosive than ever.
Why could everyone be happy with their mates but not him?
So when Rhys told him they were visiting Autumn to settle alliances after the war he also asked Azriel to stay as calm as possible. Because he knew that Beron and his sons always got to that side of him.
They entered the Autumn castle to be met by Beron and the Lady of Autumn on their thrones. The High Lord’s one bigger and higher.
They changed to a room with a table for them to be able to talk properly.
Eris was the only son present.
Later the others joined, keeping their distance on the further side of the room.
But when one of them made a remark on how Night Court ladies were all whores Azriel snapped.
He was in front of the red haired male within a blink of an eye. Keeping himself and the son behind a blue ward coming from his siphons and pinning him to the wall through the throat.
And then Azriel smelled it.
This male had your scent all over his body.
He had kept his distance because of that.
You were here. Somewhere. He had to find you.
“Why do you smell like her?” He asked. Voice rough from anger.
The male had the audacity to laugh, even with Azriel’s had around his throat. His grip tightened and the laugh turned into a choked sound.
Azriel unclamped Truth Teller from his side and pressed it to the male’s throat right under his hand. Ignoring the people behind him trying to break through his shield.
“You tell me where she is or I’ll rip your throat and watch you bleed to death in front of me and your parents with such delight.”
This brought fear to the male’s eyes. A fear that Azriel was glad to see. He wanted his fear, he wanted him to know what was waiting for him after he found you.
He ignored the others behind him telling that nobody was in their custody.
“She’s in the dungeons.” The male strangled out. Wise.
Azriel would let him have this last minutes of peace with his family while he went to get you. He wanted the male’s fear to get him so desperate at the expectation that he would go mad, just as he went.
You were lying on the floor. It had been only some hours since the last punishment and you didn’t have any strength left. Your eyes were heavy but you tried to keep them open as much as you could.
Then you heard footsteps outside your door. But your vision was already fading. You tried to focus when the door opened. It wasn’t usual for your torturer to visit you twice a day. He would usually keep his distance between punishments, a week or so, to starve you.
So you tried as much as you could to see properly.
You may have fallen asleep. Because you were having that same dream.
Azriel entering your cell, kneeling in front of you, holding you close to his chest. You could feel his warmth, that was new, and it made your eyes fill with tears.
But then you felt something warm and wet fall on your cheek. A tear. But it wasn’t yours. You opened your eyes to see Azriel still there. Crying. It was real.
You brought your hand up to touch his cheek. You had to make sure he was real before rebuilding your hope.
With your touch he opened his eyes. And you were sure it wasn’t a dream. Because those hazel depths had those same patterns you had memorized so long ago.
“Azriel.” You breathed. Your voice was rough by the screams. The only time you used your voice here.
“My love.” He sobbed. His own voice was rough from the crying. He touched your foreheads. “I’m so sorry. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, mate.” Was all you could say before drifting to sleep.
You woke up a few days later. Azriel was at your bedside on a chair, sleeping as well. He was holding your hand as his head rested on his arms, using them as a pillow.
You trailed his scars with your thumb and tears pricked at your eyes. You were finally home.
Azriel jolted awake by your caresses. His eyes were blown wide. Also full of tears.
“My love.” You whispered.
He stood and with a swift motion sat by your side on the bed.
He carefully pulled you up and sat you on his lap like a baby, always thoughtful of your injuries. You sobbed burying your face on his chest as he held you tight against him. He combed your hair with his finger until you stopped crying. Then he held your face in his hands and kissed away the tears that rolled down your face. He looked deep into your eyes.
“Never again.” He said. His voice stern, determined. “Never again will you be separated from me. I won’t let it happen.”
You could only nod and touch your foreheads.
He kissed you then. Sweetly but firmly. Expressing all his sorrow and pain and grief by the time you’ve spent apart from one another. He showed you all his love and care. All his passion and desperation. In that one kiss.
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