noise dept.
h
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One Nice Bug Per Day
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
shark vs the universe
Noah Kahan
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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tumblr dot com
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
taylor price
art blog(derogatory)
hello vonnie
Keni
will byers stan first human second
Kiana Khansmith
Misplaced Lens Cap
titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
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seen from Japan
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seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
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seen from Germany
seen from United States
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seen from Russia
seen from Saudi Arabia
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seen from Poland
@itsmeimfuckedup
Men are clueless.
Today I decided to make amends with a former fling. We didn’t end things in the best of terms. After several back and forth exchanges, he mentioned that I unfollowed him on Instagram. And then proceeded to say “Wow, you were really upset.” As if I didn’t communicate that to him in the five long paragraphs I sent him before it ended.
OMG.
Today in an one-on-one conversation my coworker divulged to me that she doesn’t trust foreign-trained doctors whose first language is not English. It’s a sign of times that I didn’t go off on her, correct her, or even say anything at all.
Fellow immigrants, I have failed you. I’m sorry.
Social media is fucked up.
Behind the highly curated content everyone posts is the erasure of the demons we all battle on the inside. It becomes a contest of who is best at not letting their past get to them. You never think about the serious shit people go through when you scroll through endless pictures of them smiling, laughing, and enjoying life. The dark past is never acknowledged in pictures. And the expectation is that we should all be okay. Not a worry in the world.
Well, life is rarely all diamonds and rose.
Letting go of things you can’t control is one of the hardest things you can do. That feeling of a pit in your stomach. That feeling of your stomach dropping. It’s a feeling so horrible that words simply cannot do justice.
Some things in life are too awful to simply get over.
Him: It’s a tough life, man. Being an immigrant.
Me: Yeah.
Him: But in the 90s, life back home was hard too. We just didn’t think life would be hard here too.
Me: Yeah.
Him: Next life. It’ll be a good one.
Me: Yeah.
My coworker M told me today that he’s surprised I haven’t started looking for another job yet, because it’s become evident that my tolerance for J has reached a low point. It’s unfortunate that this job turned out not at all like what I expected, with the departure of E one month into the position and J taking over all of my supervisory and managing duties--while not being encouraging and sticking most of if not all of the admin duties towards me. It’s obvious what I need to do going forward but knowing me, I’m all talk and little action. My friend A said it to me once and it has stuck, and now I am always hearing it in the back of my mind. This is also part of the reason why I started becoming a lot more action-oriented around my goals. Every day I have spent one or two hours towards advancing a professional, personal, artistic, or physical health-related goal. Next steps: signing up for that SM course, opening up my own nonprofit branding and strategy consulting agency, book trip to SK, book trip to EDC, job search.
Racist Vancouver
Last night, J, H, G, and I were standing on the sidewalk minding our business when three white drunk people randomly come up to us and scream in a strong Chinese accent “HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!”. I laugh it off, but J H and G were clearly not pleased. More interesting was H’s knee-jerk response to say, defiantly, “We’re not Chinese!” (even though we are.) It’s as if he’s been conditioned to these kinds of occurrences on the streets of Vancouver.
A few minutes later, our other friend crosses the street to meet with us. He’s very angry, having just witnessed a drunken girl, who, while being escorted out of the club, was chanting loudly at the people outside, “Fuck you! Go eat your noodles,” perhaps in response to there being a lot of Asians at the club.
Sometimes, Canada is not so different from America.
Anyone else notice this growing trend of regular folks (often, friends of friends) using automated Instagram bots to like and comment on your pictures? This is the world of shameless self-promotion and social media branding that we live in today. Can I exit?
Social media image crafting is one of those things that has literally zero impact on me, yet I find absolutely repugnant.
Because I value authenticity. Which is paradoxically why I actually enjoy it when friends overshares or makes cheesy inspirational posts. I don't find them annoying. I find them to be authentic.
Maybe I just don't like that you're not doing it well.
Respect the hustle? No.
Is this really what it has come down to?
Although I suppose it is marginally less repugnant than buying followers and likes.
How do I exit from this world...
I guess this is the 2016 equivalent of buying followers and likes. To anyone using these services: you may want to check your algorithm
sometimes it’s hard to not feel like you’re a victim of your circumstances. i thought i was going to get a fresh start with this move. but evidently, time is passing by like a racing clock and i feel like i’m falling even more behind, as my friends are all getting married or promoted. meanwhile i’m starting at the bottom again, with no clear path for advancement and no supervision or professional guidance. sometimes i feel like i spent the past six years working my ass off towards nothing. at least i’m making a decent salary this time around. last year this time was pretty depressing. but i have to keep going. keep on keeping on.
going along with the theme of this blog: something happened to that reminded me that deep inside, i harbor really terrible traits.
this is what happened. i was going to the bank to take care of some things involving a new credit card application and a safety deposit box. i was by no means in a no rush--yet i felt flustered. going to the bank always gives me anxiety. i think it’s because of my disdain for anything money-related. but ANYWAY, as i was about to enter, i see a lady in a wheelchair cart trying to come out. she pressed the handicap button to open the automatic doors. but for some reason, only the right door opened, and her cart was facing the left door, which did not open. as she backed up so that she could re-attempt to exit the through the right door, i turned and entered the bank through the side doors. upon entering, i see that customers who had been standing in line walked over and held the left door open so that the lady could exit smoothly. something that completely escaped my mind. and i was literally facing her through the glass door while she tried to exit. we tend to believe we are better than we actually are, so the part of that’s trying to justify my decision is that sometimes in unfamiliar situations, i quickly choose the option that is the least confrontational. i don’t take the time to carefully consider all of my options. which is bad because sometimes, i come off self-centered and inconsiderate of others.
anyway, that’s my ‘i’m a terrible person’ post of the day.
I got a new phone today.
Usually, big purchases mark the beginning of a new period for me.
I have a feeling this is going to be a good one.
:)
Section 936
The tax policy that gave businesses in Puerto Rico major tax breaks which incentivized many pharmaceutical companies to set up shop there but eventually resulted in the modern fiscal crisis.
After the pharmaceutical companies left, almost everyone in PR bought PR bonds, because they were almost seen as “magical” in their ability to provide safe interests.
But when you have a country without a lot of actual industries and a government borrowing from other countries just so that it can sell more bonds-- eventually you run into problems. So in 2015, Puerto Rico declared that it could not pay back the billions it owes in government bonds. And poof--all the money is gone just like that.
When you learn things about people that go against ideals about them you’ve held for a long time but can’t and don’t want to deal with it head on to avoid further conflict so you resort to voicing your frustration through a Tumblr post and decide to quietly distance yourself because one of the many wonderful things about life at 27 is that you have a clearer idea of what’s important and what’s not and that includes the realization that even though we are all selfish to some degree some are considerably more selfish than others and while it doesn’t make them shitty people per se it does make it hard for you to respect them on a level that would allow a close friendship to continue.
...her character essentially wants to know why God plays with people like pawns and created a totally fucked world when making a utopia would have been just as easy (and though I realize these are not exactly the most profound of existential questions, it’s hard to deny that they’re not the most important ones, either).
I’m certain Osama bin Laden was positive he was serving God. It’s not hard to fathom that all of those maniacs were certain that what they were doing was right. Meanwhile, I constantly do things that I know are wrong; they’re not on the same scale as incinerating Jews or blowing up skyscrapers, but my motivations might be worse. I have looked directly into the eyes of a woman I loved and told her lies for no reason, except that those lies would allow me to continue having sex with another woman I cared less about. This act did not kill 20 million Russian peasants, but it might be more “diabolical” in a literal sense. If I died and found out I was going to hell and Stalin was in heaven, I would note the irony, but I really couldn’t complain. I don’t make the fucking rules.
in my dream, r had split himself into his past and his present, and then underwent gender reassignment for his present self, so that when technology allowed his past self to come back, he became two different versions of himself at the same time in space. technology had also evolved to the point where we’re allowed to have face-to-face interactions with someone through a screen. think webcam, only you can physically “feel the person” on the other side of the screen.
later on in the dream, i was a demon slayer, flying all around and vanquishing demons. invincible, basically. it felt amazing.
as a dog parent: i now find it necessary to give money to homeless people with dogs