you desperately need to get over your decade-long crush on lim jaebeom, and your close friend jinyoung needs to get over his ex—so the two of you make an arrangement: just sex, no feelings. what could go wrong?
☆ pairing: park jinyoung x reader
☆ genre: romance, smut, angst, cliche fwb to lovers
☆ warnings: sexual content, alcohol, cursing, fuckboy!jb
updated: 03.05.2025
↳ read here
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | epilogue
↳ drabbles (in chronological order):
◦ the study date
◦ 6 (jinyoung ver)
◦ tied up (m)
◦ happy christmas first!
◦ insecurities (m)
◦ distraction (m)
◦ dad!jinyoung 01
↳ moodboards
the early days
nsfw version
↳ fake texts (in chronological order):
jinyoung/yeri + “fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?”
jaebeom/oc + “bro… that’s so… not cool”
jinyoung/oc + “how about you make me?”
sana/oc + “anything, just call me, okay?”
jinyoung/oc + “so… when’s the next flight?”
jinyoung/oc + “i want a baby” prank gone wrong
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Summary: The secret you shared with Neteyam had taken shape, breathing and growing within you.
Warnings: 6k+ words, aged up! neteyam, rivals to whatever that they are now, no smut, angst, a little fluff, you are still an idiot at the start (avoidant final boss), but you got the ending you deserved.
Chapters: friendly fire, friendlier fire, friendliest fire, frozen fire, seed of fire
"He has arranged it," Neteyam finally looked at you, and the sheer agony in his expression made your breath catch. "I'm to be engaged. To the daughter of one of the lead warriors. Someone worthy of the future Olo'eyktan."
The words felt like a physical blow to the chest, harder than any strike you'd ever taken in training. The "we" you had finally started to believe in shattered into a thousand pieces.
You didn't let your hand shake. Instead, you sat down, reached for your sharpening stone, and ran it along the edge of your blade, anything to keep you busy so you don't break. The screech of metal on stone filled the silence.
"Then congratulations are in order," you said. You didn't look up. "A warrior's daughter. That’s a strong match."
Neteyam didn't move. You could feel his heat, his presence pressing into your space, demanding a reaction you refused to give.
"Is that it?" he asked, his voice cracking. "You’re just going to wish me well?"
"What else do you want, Sully? A toast? I’m happy for you. You get the crown, the girl, and the legacy." You finally looked at him, offering a small, hollow smile that didn't reach your eyes. "It’s a win for the clan."
"Stop it," he snapped, grabbing your wrist to pull the knife away. "Don't act like this is a strategy meeting. We are mated. We went to the grove. We joined before Eywa—"
"We didn't join anything," you said, wrenching your arm back. You stood up, tall and unbothered. "It was a just another hookup we did. Don't make it a big deal."
Neteyam recoiled. His ears flattened against his head and his tail went still. "The tsaheylu... I felt your soul. You can't lie about that."
"The tsaheylu is a biological connection, Neteyam. It’s nerves and electricity." You picked up your sharpening stone again, focusing on the blade in your lap. "I’ve connected with dozens of people over the years. You were just the most recent."
"Yeah? Right before you killed them?" his voice was low with a sudden venom. He stepped into your space, forcing you to look up. "You don't connect with people to feel them. You use it as a weapon. You use it to torture them before the end. Are you proud of that?"
You didn't flinch. You met his stare with eyes like flint. "If that's what you need to tell yourself, go ahead. It doesn't change the fact that you and whatever happened in that grove aren't special."
Neteyam went silent. The anger seemed to drain out of him, replaced by a hollow and cold look that made him look older than he was. He stared at you as if he were looking at a stranger, someone he had never shared a breath with, let alone a soul.
"It's tomorrow's eclipse," he finally said. His voice was flat, drained of any emotion.
"What?"
"The engagement party," he said, turning away from you. "It’s during tomorrow’s eclipse. My father expects everyone to be there."
He didn't wait for you to respond. He walked out of your place and into the night, the sound of his footsteps disappearing long before the beat of his ikran's wings hit the air.
The light faded as the eclipse began. The forest took on a muted hue and the bioluminescent veins of the trees started to pulse. You slipped into the back of the gathering, keeping close to the large trunks to blend in.
A small hand slipped into yours. Tuk looked up at you with wide eyes, her expression a mix of confusion and relief. Next to her, Kiri gave you a short nod, her eyes full of a knowing pity that made you want to look away. Lo'ak stood on your other side, his arms crossed over his chest.
"I thought you weren't coming," Lo'ak said under his breath.
"Just watching the show," you replied.
Your eyes went to the center. Neteyam was there, polished and perfect. He wore the heavy mantle of a leader, his braids neat and his posture straight. He was leaning in toward the girl, which you believe is his fiance. Neteyam said something quietly to her, his face close to hers, and she smiled, resting a hand on his arm.
The girl said something that made him chuckle, and he reached out to adjust one of the beads on her shoulder. The gesture was small, but it felt like a knife twisting in your gut. He was playing the part perfectly. He was giving her the same gentle attention he had given you, only this time, he wasn't hiding it.
Tuk squeezed your hand tighter. "She's nice," the little girl whispered, "but she's not you."
"She's exactly who he needs, Tuk," you said, your voice sounding like it belonged to someone else.
The Olo'eyktan stepped into the center of the clearing as the eclipse reached its peak. The shadows deepened, making the glow of the forest floor look even brighter. Jake began to speak, his voice steady and loud, calling on the ancestors to witness the union.
Neteyam stood perfectly still. He kept his eyes fixed on the girl in front of him, his hands resting on her shoulders. He never looked back at the crowd. He never looked at the spot where you were standing. It was like you didn't exist in his world anymore.
Kiri and Tuk let go of your hands. They shared a quick look with each other before walking forward to join the rest of the family. They took their places beside their brother, leaving you standing alone with Lo'ak in the darkness of the trees.
"You don't have to stay for the whole thing," Lo'ak whispered. He shifted his weight, looking uncomfortable as he watched his brother play the role of the perfect heir.
"I’m fine, Lo'ak," you said. You kept your eyes on the back of Neteyam's head. "I just wanted to see the ceremony."
"He's been acting like a statue all day," Lo'ak muttered. "He won't talk to me. He won't talk to anyone. He just does what my father tells him."
"Maybe he's nervous," you said.
You leaned against the bark of a tree, crossing your arms to hide the way your fingers were twitching. Your voice sounded flat, even to your own ears.
Lo’ak let out a short breath. He looked from you to his brother and back again. "He’s not nervous. He’s gone. He’s been like this since he came back from your camp. He looks dead inside."
You turned your head to him. "So you know he's been visiting me?"
Lo’ak looked at you, his tail giving a sharp flick of annoyance. He didn't look surprised.
"I’m his brother," he said. "He’s a terrible liar when he thinks no one is watching. Every night he’d disappear toward the west, and every morning he’d come back smelling like woodsmoke. My parents might be blind, but I’m not."
You looked back at the center of the camp. The ceremonial drums started a slow rhythmic beat, signaling the start of the dance. Neteyam took the girl’s hand. He led her toward the flat stone at the center of the village. His movements were stiff, like a wooden doll being pulled by strings. He didn't have the fluid grace he usually had when he hunted.
"If you knew, why didn't you say anything?" you asked.
"Because he looked happy for once," Lo’ak muttered. He kicked at a loose root in the dirt. "He’s spent his whole life trying to be the perfect son for my dad. When he was coming back from your place, he actually looked like he could breathe. Now? Look at him. He’s a ghost."
Neteyam spun the girl around in the first movement of the dance. The crowd cheered, clapping in time with the drums. He caught her waist to steady her, his face inches from hers.
"He made his choice, Lo’ak," you said. You felt the familiar ache at your gut, a dull pulse that matched the beat of the drums.
"He didn't choose anything," Lo’ak snapped. "He did what he was told. There's a difference. And I believe you made him do that too."
You opened your mouth to snap back, to tell him he didn't know anything about what happened in that hollow. But the words died in your throat. The ground under your feet suddenly felt like it was tilting to one side. The smell of the smoked meat and the heavy incense from the ceremony hit you all at once, making your stomach roll.
You swayed, reaching out to steady yourself against the rough bark of the tree.
"Hey," Lo'ak’s voice lost its edge, shifting to something closer to worry. "You okay? Your face just went grey."
You had been feeling off since you woke up at dawn, you thought it was just because of the lack of sleep you had last night. Now, it was a sharp, localized cramp on your belly that made you hitch your breath. Your vision blurred, the bioluminescent lights of the forest spinning into long, messy streaks.
"I'm fine," you managed to mutter, though the trees were starting to blur into one dark mass. "Just haven't eaten."
"Like hell you are," Lo’ak said. "Let's get you to the Tsahik."
Lo'ak didn't wait for your permission. He hooked one arm under your knees and the other behind your back, lifting you as your head lolled against his shoulder. He moved fast, ignoring your weak attempts to push him away.
The air in the Tsahik’s tent was quiet and smelled of bitter herbs. It was a sharp contrast to the floral scent of the ceremony outside. He laid you down on a woven mat, your breath coming in shallow gasps.
"Wait here. I'll get her," Lo'ak said. He vanished through the tent flap, his footsteps fading into the distance.
You lay there, staring up at the thatched roof. The pain in your stomach making it hard to find a comfortable position. You could still hear the faint thumping of the drums from the village center. It felt like a lifetime ago that you were standing in the shadows watching Neteyam dance.
The tent flap moved. Mo’at stepped inside. She didn't say a word as she sat beside you. Her hands were cool as she pressed them against your neck, checking your pulse.
"Lo'ak says you collapsed," she said.
"I'm just tired," you whispered.
Mo'at ignored you. She moved her hands down, pressing firmly against your abdomen. You winced, your body tensing instinctively. She paused, her fingers lingering over the spot that hurt the most. She closed her eyes for a moment, her expression shifting into something deeper, more focused.
When she opened her eyes, she didn't look at your face. She looked at your stomach.
"A life only exists when the Great Mother gives her blessing," Mo'at said. She pulled her hands back, watching you with eyes that saw everything.
You didn't move. You barely breathed. "What do you mean?"
"You are carrying a life," she repeated. She stood up, looking toward the tent opening where the sounds of the celebration drifted in. "And we know well whose that is."
The air in the tent felt tight. You looked down at your hands, your fingers digging into the mat. This changed everything. The secret you shared with Neteyam had taken shape, breathing and growing within you. A life that tied you to the Omatikaya in a way that your exile couldn't break.
Outside, the drums hit a steady beat. Neteyam was supposed to be pledging himself to someone else, but his blood was already here, in this tent, with you.
You thought about Neteyam’s face when he left your place. You thought about him dancing with the warrior’s daughter. If you told him, he would leave her. He would defy his father and the clan. If you told him, the engagement would end before the eclipse was even over.
He would walk away from the girl, the alliance, and his father’s pride. He would choose you, but he would do it out of a crushing sense of duty. He would spend the rest of his life as an outcast, stripped of his name and his future, just to sit in a cave with a girl the clan feared.
You didn't want him like that. You didn't want to be the reason he lost the only world he knew.
"Don't let him know," you said. Your voice was thin, but it didn't shake.
Mo'at stopped what she was doing. She turned around, her brow furrowed as she looked at you. "What?"
"He has a path. He is the future of this clan," you said, looking at the tent flap. Beyond it, the music was getting louder. "If he knows, he’ll leave her. He’ll fight his father. He’ll give up everything he was born for just to be with an exile."
You knew Neteyam. He was loyal to a fault. If he found out he had a child, he would throw away his crown, his family, and his honor to sit in that damp cave with you.
Mo'at watched you for a long time. The silence in the tent was heavy, broken only by the bubbling of her pot. "You would carry this alone?"
"I could handle it," you said. You sat up slowly. "Tell Lo'ak it was just a fever."
Mo’at stood by the simmering pot, she stirred the liquid, the steam rising to cloud. "This child is my blood," she said. "My daughter's first grandchild. You ask me to bury a branch of our family tree in the dirt of a cave?"
"I’m asking you to save him," you said. You gripped the edge of the mat, forcing the nausea down. "If he finds out, he leaves. He’ll watch the clan look at him with shame every day."
"Please," you pleaded, your eyes stinging. "Let him have the life he was born for. Don't let me be the thing that breaks the Sully family."
Mo'at stayed silent for a long time. She finally poured the medicine into a small wooden bowl and set it beside you. She didn't look at you when she spoke.
"I will tell them it was a fever," she said. Her voice was thick, carrying a weight you couldn't name. "I will tell Lo'ak to escort you back to your shelter. But Eywa sees all, girl. You cannot keep the tide from coming in."
"I just need to keep it back long enough for him to forget me," you said.
You drank the medicine. It was bitter and tasted like earth, but it settled the fire in your stomach. Within minutes, the tent flap opened, and Lo'ak stepped back in, looking anxious. He looked from you to Mo'at, waiting for the verdict.
"It is as I thought," Mo'at said, her voice regaining its sharp authority. "She's just too tired. Take her back to her shelter and see that she rests."
Five weeks had passed since the eclipse. The western cliffs was colder now, the wind biting through the thin skin of your shelter. Without the communal fires of the village, the nights felt twice as long.
Neteyam hadn't come back. Not once. You heard from the occasional passing scout that the wedding preparations were moving fast. The prince was busy. You told yourself it was what you wanted, but some nights the loneliness felt like it was physically crushing your lungs.
The sickness hit you in waves. Some mornings you could barely stand to look at the dried meat you had worked so hard to store. You spent most of your time sitting by the small fire.
"You're just as stubborn as he is," you muttered, your voice raspy from disuse. You were sitting by the fire, skinning a small yerik. The smell of the raw meat made your stomach flip, a sudden wave of hormonal irritation rising in your throat. "Just like him. Sticking around where you aren't wanted."
You dropped the knife and rested a hand over your belly, feeling a faint flutter from inside. "I hope you don't get his eyes nor his ego," you said.
You leaned back against the rock wall, a stray tear sliding down your cheek. "I will take a good care of you. You won't need a clan that hates you. We'll leave before you're even born, and he'll never even know he had a son or a daughter to break."
"He'll never know what?"
The voice was like a physical strike. You bolted upright, the sudden movement making your head spin and your stomach flip.
Neteyam was standing at the entrance of the hollow. He looked terrible. His skin was dull, his eyes were bloodshot, and he had clearly lost weight.
He didn't move. He just stared at your hand, which was still pressed firmly against your stomach.
"I heard you," he whispered, his voice shaking. "I heard what you said."
You scrambled to your feet, your heart hammering against your ribs like a trapped bird. "You heard wrong," you said. "I’m losing my mind out here. I talk to the walls. I talk to the shadows."
"Shadows don't have fathers," he said. His voice was thick, like he was choking on the words. "And shadows don't get his eyes."
You backed up until your shoulders hit the damp rock. "It's just talk, Neteyam. I’m bitter. I’m angry. I say things I don't mean."
"You said he'd never know," Neteyam stepped into the shelter. He ignored the mess of your camp, his focus entirely on you. "You said you'd leave before it was born. That I’d never have to break."
He wasn't angry. He sounded like he was falling apart. He took another step, his hand reaching out but stopping short of touching you.
"I thought you hated me," he whispered. "That night here at the fire... when you told me I was just a hookup. I believed you. I went to the ceremony and I stood there like a corpse because I thought I was the only one who felt the bond."
Neteyam looked at the fire, then back at you. His jaw was set and his face was pale.
"I sat through that ceremony," he said. "I let them announce the match because I thought I was nothing to you. I thought the bond was all in my head."
"You can't leave everything for this," you said. You wiped a stray tear away with the back of your hand. "I can raise this child alone."
"I won’t let you," he said. He stepped forward and grabbed your arm.
Neteyam’s grip on your arm was firm. He wasn't letting go.
"I can't let you live alone with my child," he said, his voice dropping an octave. He stepped closer, crowding you against the stone. "You think I’m that kind of coward? That I’d go back and play husband to a woman I don't love while you're out here struggling to breathe?"
"It’s not just yours," you snapped, finally wrenching your arm back. "It’s mine too. If the clan finds out, what then? You want your child to be an outcast? To be treated like a curse just because of who their mother is?"
You looked toward the dark mouth of the cave, your heart racing. "I have to leave. I’ll go as far as I can before the truth comes out. It’s the only way they stay safe."
Neteyam didn't move. He stood like a wall between you and the exit. "You’re not going anywhere."
"Neteyam, think for once," you said, your voice rising. "The village will never accept this. You’re supposed to marry a warrior’s daughter, not harbor an exile."
"Then I'll go with you," he said.
The words were flat and sure. He didn't hesitate. He just watched you, his jaw tight and his hands balled into fists at his sides.
"You’re talking about leaving everything," you said. You shook your head, trying to find the words to make him see sense. "Your family. Your title. You'd be an outcast. You wouldn't be a Sully anymore. You'd be nothing."
Neteyam didn't even blink. "I don't care."
"You say that now," you whispered, the first tear finally spilling over. "But when you're hungry and cold, and you realize you can never go home... you'll hate me for it. You'll look at this child and only see what you lost."
"Never," he said. He stepped forward, closing the space between you.
The weight of it finally broke you. The weeks of isolation, the sickness, and the terror of the future crashed down. You started to sob, the sound raw in the quiet cave. You covered your face with your hands, your shoulders shaking as you let go of the mask you'd been wearing.
He didn't hesitate. He pulled you into his chest, his arms wrapping around you. One hand went to the back of your head, pressing your face into his shoulder while the other held you tight.
"We'll find a way," he whispered into your hair. He held you until your breathing slowed, his own heart beating a rhythm against yours. "I'm not letting go again."
Neteyam sat on the dirt floor, pulling you back against his chest so you could lean your weight on him. He kept his arms wrapped around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. The fire had burned down to a pile of red coals, but the heat from his body was enough to stop your shivering.
"The girl," you said, your voice still a rough whisper. "The engagement. What are you going to tell them?"
"Nothing yet," Neteyam said. He rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand. "I just need to be here. Everything else can wait until the sun comes up."
You looked at the glowing coals, feeling the steady thump of his heart against your back. The idea of him walking away from everything felt impossible. He was the heir to the Olo'eyktan, the one everyone looked to.
"Are you sure?" you asked. Your voice was small in the quiet of the cave. "You have to leave everything. Your parents, your siblings... your name."
Neteyam didn't hesitate. He tucked his head closer to yours, his arms tightening around you. "To build a new family with you? Yes."
The honesty in his voice made your chest ache. You wanted to believe it could be that simple, but you knew the world outside this hollow wouldn't let it be.
"Your mother will never forgive me," you whispered. "She’ll see this as me stealing her son."
"She’ll see that I made my own choice," Neteyam said. He shifted his hand, spreading his fingers over your stomach. The heat of his palm felt like a promise. "I'm not letting my child grow up in the shadows because I was too afraid to leave the light. I’m staying, and that’s the end of it."
He sat there with you for a long time, just breathing together. The fire eventually died out, leaving the cave in the dim blue glow of the forest. You felt the exhaustion finally catching up to you.
Your eyes were heavy, and the warmth of Neteyam’s chest was almost enough to pull you into a deep sleep. But then the air changed. A rhythmic thumping started in the distance, growing into a roar that vibrated against the stone walls of the hollow. It was the sound of hundreds of wings beating in unison.
You both scrambled to your feet. Neteyam grabbed his bow, and you followed him to the edge of the cliff.
The sky was crowded. Dozens of ikran riders were sweeping past the ridge, their silhouettes sharp against the moon. You squinted, picking out the patterns on their wings.
"It's the Mangkwan," you whispered, your heart dropping into your stomach. "But why are they carrying rifles?"
Neteyam’s face went hard, his eyes tracking the metal gleaming in the hands of the riders. "That’s Sky People gear," he said. "I think they’ve made a deal."
The riders were diving straight toward the heart of the Omatikaya territory, moving with a speed that meant they weren't there to talk. The peace of the forest was about to be torn apart.
"We have to go," Neteyam said, whistling for his ikran. "Now!"
You grabbed your bow and slung the quiver over your shoulder. You gave a sharp whistle, and your ikran spiraled out of the mist, landing on the ledge with a hiss.
Neteyam was already mounted. "Stay close," he said.
The wind bit at your face as you dived. The village was a mess of orange fire and screaming. You could see the bioluminescent plants being crushed under the weight of the landing Mangkwan mounts.
Neteyam didn't hesitate. He pulled his bow to full draw and let out a sharp cry, letting an arrow fly. It caught a Mangkwan rider in the chest just as the man was raising his rifle toward a group of fleeing children. The rider tumbled from his ikran, his weapon clattering onto the roots below.
"Take the ones on the perimeter!" Neteyam shouted over the roar of the wind.
You banked your ikran to the right, your heart thumping against your ribs. You notched an arrow and released. The shot was clean, catching the enemy in the throat. He slumped over his mount's neck, and the ikran spiraled out of control, crashing into the thick brush.
Gunfire erupted from below. Bullets hissed past your head like angry insects. You saw the Mangkwan were coordinated, moving in groups to pin the Omatikaya warriors down. They knew the terrain. They knew the weaknesses of the village.
Neteyam was a blur of blue and shadow, weaving through the trees and picking off riders with a terrifying speed.
The forest floor was a chaotic map of fire and blood. You could see the Omatikaya warriors being pushed back toward the roots of the Hometree, their bows no match for the rapid-fire rhythm of the rifles. They were losing ground fast, their numbers dwindling as the Mangkwan riders picked them off from the canopy.
Then you saw her.
Varang was leading the charge, her ikran a streak of dark scales against the orange glow of the burning moss. She had a human carbine gripped in her hand, firing with a practiced precision.
"Neteyam!" you screamed, pointing toward the center of the village where Jake was pinned down by three riders. "Go! Help your father!"
Neteyam hesitated, his hand white-knuckled on his bow. He looked at you, then at the fire spreading toward the nursery, then at his father. The conflict in his eyes was agonizing.
"I'll handle Varang!" you yelled, banking your ikran hard to cut her off.
He let out a frustrated snarl, but he saw the logic. He dived toward the ground, his ikran shrieking as he plummeted into the smoke to reach Jake.
You turned your attention back to Varang. She saw you coming. She pulled her mount up, hovering in the heat-shimmering air above the burning trees. A cruel smirk twisted her lips as she recognized the exile who had once been her daughter-in-arms.
Varang didn’t waste time with a greeting. She squeezed the trigger, the muzzle flash of her rifle lighting up the smoke-filled air. You yanked your ikran’s head to the side, feeling the hot whistle of lead pass so close to your ear that your skin stung.
She banked her mount with a violent jerk, her movements far more aggressive than the graceful flight patterns you’d been taught. "Look at you now, fighting your own people."
"You stopped being my people the second you took their metal," you spat back, your voice nearly lost in the rushing wind.
You yanked your ikran's reins, forcing a sharp roll to the left as a burst of gunfire chewed through the air where your wing had been. The heat from the fires below rose in shimmering waves, making the air thin and turbulent. Your stomach lurched, a reminder of the life you were carrying, but you forced yourself to stay upright.
Varang didn't care about grace. She flew like a machine, her ikran screaming under the strain of her brutal steering. She swung the rifle around, using the strap to steady her aim against the wind.
You realized then that you couldn't win a distance fight. Not against a rifle. You leaned forward, hugging your ikran's neck, and forced the bond into a suicidal dive. You were aiming the entire weight of your mount.
Varang’s eyes widened as she realized what you were doing. She tried to bank away, but you were already on top of her. Your ikran slammed into hers with a sickening thud of bone on bone. The force of the impact nearly threw you from the saddle. You reached out, grabbing the edge of Varang's gear, your fingers locking onto the cold metal of her rifle strap.
The two ikran became a tangled mess of wings, talons, and shrieking rage. They couldn't stay in the air. The bond between the mounts and the sky broke, and suddenly, the horizon line vanished.
You were falling.
The wind whipped your hair into your eyes as you and Varang tumbled through the air, still locked in a desperate struggle.
The green canopy of the forest rushed up to meet you. It was a wall of leaves and thick branches.
CRACK.
The first layer of the canopy hit like a physical blow. Branches snapped under your weight, tearing at your skin and your wrap. You lost your grip on Varang as you both smashed through the layers of the forest.
You lost the sky, you lost Varang, and for a terrifying second, you felt nothing but the weight of the fall.
Then, the world turned a deep shimmering violet. You had fallen near the Tree of Souls.
"Get up," a voice rasped.
Varang was ten feet away, staggering to her feet. She looked like a nightmare carved from the shadows. She didn't have her rifle anymore, but she had a long knife gripped in her hand.
You forced your body to move. Every muscle screamed in protest. You rolled onto your knees, your fingers digging into the soil.
You reached for your hip. Your bow was snapped in half somewhere in the canopy, but your knife was still there. You drew it, the blade trembling slightly in your grip as you forced yourself to stand.
"You're bleeding, daughter," Varang sneered, spitting out a glob of dark blood. She took a step toward you, her gait uneven but determined. "What now? You pray to Her? You think the Great Mother cares about you?"
You let out a low hiss, your teeth bared.
"See?" Varang let out a laugh. "You still hate her. I can feel the anger in your skin. Why don't you come back to us? Leave these forest-dwellers to burn in the fire they started."
"It’s between me and Eywa," you spat, your fingers tightening around the hilt of your knife until your knuckles turned white. "And I don't find any fun in killing innocents."
Varang’s face contorted, the mocking laugh dying in her throat. She looked at you with a disgusted clarity, as if she were finally seeing a weapon that had turned out to be a dud.
"Fine," she hissed. "Then die with the rest of the shadows."
She lunged low, her blade aiming for your thigh to ground you. You pivoted, the moss slippery beneath your feet, and slashed out with your own knife. The blades met with a dull clack, the vibration traveling up your arm and jolting your bruised shoulder.
Varang was relentless. She fought with the weight of someone who had nothing left to lose, her strikes heavy and punishing. You were forced onto the defensive, backing up toward the massive, glowing roots of the Tree of Souls.
Varang didn’t give you another chance to find your footing. She lunged with the weight of a falling tree, her shoulder slamming into your chest and sending you sprawling backward. You hit the ground hard, the back of your head snapping against the exposed, glowing roots of the Tree of Souls.
Varang slammed her weight into your chest and the back of your head cracked against a thick root. The world went white for a second. You felt the dampness of the moss soaking into your skin and the heavy pressure of her knee pinning your shoulder down. She leaned in close, the knife hovering just above the pulse in your neck.
You couldn't breathe. You looked up at the violet canopy of the Tree of Souls and for a moment you thought the ancestors were already calling you home.
Your hand scrambled blindly in the dirt, searching for a rock or a branch. Instead, your fingers closed around a vine that had grown out from the main root. Without thinking, you grabbed the end of your queue.
The second the neural filaments touched the tree, the world exploded.
It didn't feel like a normal bond. It felt like a thousand voices screaming and singing at the same time. The history of the Omatikaya and the memories of every person who had died flooded into your mind.
The flood of dead voices almost made you sick, but you shoved the memories back and reached for the raw energy humming in the soil. You didn't care about the ancestors right now. You just wanted Varang off you. You slammed your will into the root, treating the forest floor like an extension of your own nerves.
Thick, cord-like vines snapped out of the glowing moss like traps. They coiled around Varang's ankles and calves in a heartbeat, jerking her backward with enough force to pull her right off your chest.
You pulled yourself up into a sitting position. The connection felt like fire in your veins, but you didn't let go. Varang was pinned flat against the earth.
You looked down at her, your face cold."You despise Eywa because you think she's weak," you said, your voice sounding strange and echoed through the bond. "But I never thought she was weak. Maybe she's just a little unfair."
You reached out with your free hand and grabbed Varang's queue, connecting it with the roots of the Tree of Souls.
The second the filaments locked into the glowing root, Varang’s entire body went rigid. It looked like a bolt of lightning had traveled up her spine.
You leaned over her, your face inches from hers. "Can you hear them?" you hissed, the words coming out as a low, dangerous growl. "Every life you took. They’re all in there."
Varang’s fingers clawed at the dirt, her nails breaking against the stones. She was feeling the weight of every death she had caused. She looked up at you with a face full of raw terror, her bravado completely gone.
You watched her for a moment longer, letting the cold justice of the forest sink in. Then, with a sharp, brutal jerk, you ripped her queue away from the root. You willed the glowing vines to loosen their grip, and they slid back into the moss like snakes.
You forced your legs to stay steady as you looked down at her. "Thanks for raising me, mother," you said. Your voice was quiet and cold. "But please. Leave me and this place alone."
Varang didn't wait for you to change your mind. She scrambled backward on all fours, her hands slipping on the damp moss as she tried to get away from the roots.
You watched her go until the sound of her frantic scrambling was swallowed by the hum of the valley. Your strength went with her. Your legs gave out and you slumped back against the pulsing root, your queue still locked into the neural network of the tree.
The world felt thin, like you were floating in deep water. You looked up at the shimmering canopy, the bioluminescence blurring into a hazy glow. The collective voices of the ancestors were still whispering in the back of your mind, a low roar of memories that didn't belong to you.
"I know you're probably gonna ignore me," you whispered, your voice barely a thread of sound in the quiet valley. You gripped the root tighter, forcing your last bit of intent into the connection. "But please let the people win. I don't ask for me. I don't care what happens to me. But do it for them. For the ones that always devoted themselves to you."
The violet light of the vines started to spin, faster and faster, until the glow turned into a blinding white wall.
Then, the world went black.
The first thing you felt was the heat. Not the searing fire of the burning village, but a thick, humid warmth that smelled of crushed ginger root, dried sage, and old earth.
You tried to sit up, but a hand immediately pressed down on your shoulder, firm and steady.
"You’re awake," Neteyam’s voice was a low rasp.
"Where am I..." The word felt like sandpaper in your throat. You tried to swallow, but your mouth was too dry.
"It’s the Tsahik’s tent," Neteyam whispered. He reached out, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.
"How is everyone?" you asked, your voice cracking. "Did we win?"
Neteyam nodded slowly, a small, hollow smile touching his lips. "We did. But it wasn't the warriors who finished it. In the middle of the fire, everything changed. Dozens of palulukan and unbonded ikran came screaming out of the trees. It was Eywa. She heard someone."
"Someone called to the Great Mother," Mo'at said from her place, her voice deep and resonant. "The spirits were screaming in a way I have not felt since the Great Sorrow. We wondered why the forest rose to protect us when we were so close to falling. Then we went to the Tree of Souls and saw you there, passed out in the dirt with your queue still fused to the roots."
"People are respecting you now," Neteyam said, his eyes searching yours with a desperate kind of hope. "You don't have to go back to the cave. You don't have to hide in the shadows of the cliffs. We can live here. Together. As we were supposed to."
The thought of it made your heart ache. For months, you had survived on scraps and silence, watching the village from the treeline like a ghost. Now, the idea of sleeping under a roof and walking the common paths felt like a dream you were about to wake up from.
The tent flap moved aside, Jake was the first one in. Behind him, Neytiri stepped in, then came the others, Kiri, Lo'ak and little Tuk, who looked like she wanted to jump on the bed but was holding herself back.
Neytiri walked closer, she reached out, her cool fingers brushing your forehead. "Are you okay now?" she asked. Her voice didn't have the sharp edge it used to. It was soft, almost like the way she spoke to her own daughters.
You nodded and swallowed hard, looking at the family gathered around you.
Jake stepped forward. "People are apologizing for what they did to you," he said. "The hunters, the warriors, they know what you did at the Tree. They'll be happy if you're willing to stay. There is a place for you here. A permanent one."
You felt a lump form in your throat. You looked at Neteyam, who was still holding your hand, his face glowing with a relief so bright it almost hurt to see. You took a shaky breath and nodded.
"I'll stay," you whispered.
A small sigh of relief seemed to ripple through the tent. Tuk finally couldn't help herself and leaned against the edge of your mat, her eyes wide.
Neytiri sit down beside you, her hand moving from your face to rest gently on the blanket covering your stomach.
"Also," Neytiri said, her lips curving into a genuine smile for the first time since you had known her. "We cannot wait for the birth of our first grandchild."
You looked at Neytiri, your eyes wide with shock, then slowly turned your head to look at Neteyam. He was still sitting right next to you, but his ears suddenly flicked back and he refused to meet your gaze.
"You told them already?" you asked, your voice a mix of disbelief and a tiny bit of a smile.
Neteyam rubbed the back of his neck, looking completely sheepish. "I didn't mean to," he muttered. "When they brought you in... you were so pale. I just panicked. I kept asking the Tsahik if the baby was okay."
Neytiri let out a soft laugh, and even Jake chuckled, shaking his head at his eldest son's lack of a filter.
"He was very loud," Jake said.
You looked at Neteyam’s burning cheeks and the way his tail was twitching in embarrassment. For the first time in months, the weight on your chest was gone, replaced by a warmth that had nothing to do with the fire.
"Well," you said, leaning your head against his shoulder. "At least I don't have to worry about how to break the news."
Neteyam finally looked at you, his eyes bright with a joy he didn't have to hide anymore. He leaned down and kissed your forehead, the rest of the family settling in around the mat, finally whole. The war was over, the exile was finished, and the forest was quiet. You were home, and for the first time, you knew you weren't going anywhere.
This is the reallll last part, don't ask for more lmao. I'll come with another story maybe, and maybe with other characters too. 🤫 I can't answer to all the inbox but thank you so much for the supports, I love you all.
you're with neteyams child, almost ripe enough to give birth any day now. you've been told countless times to relax, take it easy, don't strain yourself too much - not just from neteyam, but the whole family, in which you unwillingly oblige to.
one day it happens to be that everyone is quite occupied, all busy running errands at home tree, leaving you alone in your and neteyams tent. feeling completely useless (and bored...) you pluck up the strength to find something to do. you want to make yourself useful. seeing everyone so busy has made you long to be fully bodied and abled again, instead you feel stuck. you can't wait to meet the little na'vi created through your and neteyams love. but it's been a long pregnancy, a long and tiring pregnancy. you cannot wait to see what your new life with your small family might lead you towards.
hmm... you think to yourself. what can you do with yourself? ah. you've figured it out. you decide to go out deep into the forest to gather ingredients to make one of neteyams favourite meals.
feeling the moss on your feet, the plants of the forest slowly engulf you, feeling leaves sweep along your arms, the sounds of nature becoming more and more evident the further you dive further and further into the forest of pandora. your home.
it has been quite a while since you've done this, especially alone. neteyam would not allow it, especially with your current pregnant state. but you're tired of being locked up - sorry neteyam, but it's just for a few hours - you think to yourself.
you realise how carried away you have gotten, now swallowed up by the forest, you have lost track of time, you almost forget what you're doing here - ah thats right, now where is this fruit neteyam loves so much - you think to yourself, reminding yourself the reason why you're here in the first place.
the bioluminescence of the forest starts to become brighter and brighter. oh no. you must have left late? or maybe you've been in the forest for hours? you could not tell. eclipse has now fallen, and it is now dark - but not completely thanks to the forest glowing around you. you're not usually scared of a situation like this, for you are a brave warrior of the clan, known to be smart, quick and quiet. however, it has been months since you've been in need of your warrior like skills. you feel nervous, stressed, scared.... embarrassed...
i am lost, you think to yourself.
how could you have let this happen. you're furious with yourself. and completely embarrassed.
you try to track your previous steps, but feel as if you are going in circles. you start to feel physically and mentally exhausted, the overwhelming feeling of worry and stress of being lost. you worry you won't make it back to your neteyam anytime soon, and not wanting to worry him either, however you know at this point, it is too late for that. neteyam already felt protective over you despite your pregnant state. considering how far along you are in your pregnancy, you know he is going to be worried sick just thinking about what may have happened to you.
you can only hope that neteyam would come find you. but you know that may be wishful thinking, not even knowing where you've led yourself to at this point.
you know it is no hope. no use to exhaust yourself to the point of being physically unable to move in the hopes of finding your way back home. you find a thick tree with strong stump, with many plants surrounding, and soft moss below. there is a space at the base of the tree for you to snuggle into, kneeling yourself down slowly and pulling your heavy body into the small space. in the process you drop the few ingredients you collected, which have now sprayed around you. you gather some fallen larger leaves from around you and use them to cover your body as an attempt to feel more protected from any possible danger that may arise from being so exposed, so deep into the forest, so late at night.
you try your best to stay calm, and hope that if you make it through the night you will easily be able to find your way back home.
just make it through the night - you think to yourself.
you will be fine. don't worry. you will see neteyam soon. you can only hope and try to convince yourself that everything will be okay.
as much as you try to comfort yourself, it goes without working, as you feel your heartbeat overwhelm your body, becoming faster and faster, making it harder for you to breathe.
your breathing is staggered, and your chest is heaving up and down, the overwhelming feeling of panic blinds you, feeling tears swell in your eyes, you squeeze them shut and hope this will be over soon.
back at the village, neteyam cannot wait to see you again. being away from you for several hours at once is not ideal for him, but he knows he must fulfil his duties. he did not have an out of the ordinary day, just the usual. but he cannot wait to tell you all about it. he loves just sitting and listen to you, and you love listening to him, all the little things that happened in his day, and in yours too. you could sit around and talk for hours with each other, and he could not wait to see you again.
he lightly jogs over to your shared tent with a smile on his face. pushing the makeshift door aside, he pokes his head inside, only to be shown an empty home. you're no where to be seen. immediately his smile fades and turns to a frown. panic and worry sets in.
where could you be? he thinks to himself. this is not normal.
it's getting late and he knows eclipse will fall soon. there is a slight hope that you're just with his family, which allows him to not think of the worst just yet...
he runs towards his family home, bursting through the entrance he is met with jake, neytiri, kiri, tuk and lo'ak. you're no where to be seen. neteyam frantically asks if they've seen you but none of them know anything. they haven't seen you for the whole day.
this isn't like you... he thinks. he cannot help but think that something terrible has gone wrong.
everyone starts to worry, they know how far along your pregnancy you were, and that this is not safe for any na'vi who may give birth at any time now. jake, neytiri and lo'ak go out looking for you with neteyam, with kiri and tuk back at your home, in hope that you might be able to find your way back before the others find you, godknows where.
hours go by, with no luck. no one has found you. neteyam tells his family to go sleep. he will continue. he will find you, he has got to.
neteyam goes deep into the forest, attempting to track what he hope to be your footsteps, however they deem to be now unclear due to the any hours which have passed since they had been made.
he follows himself deeper into the forest, using his senses now strung by his worry and stress. going deeper and deeper into the forest, lit by bioluminescence, he finds himself looking at an open space at the base of a large tree. there are fruits scattered around the mossy ground, which looks strange considering they would not be found on any plant around here. he senses movement by the trunk of the tree, seeing the plants around the base of the tree move with slight movement that is not from the breeze of the forest.
with his ears alert, he slowly and quietly takes steps towards the base of the tree. as he gets closer, he notices something long, blue in colour, under the fallen leaves by the base of the tree.
it makes a sudden movement, twitching and shivering.
a tail... your tail... he thinks to himself, with longing and hope. it must be you. it has to be you. please.... be... you...
he keeps taking small steps towards the folage under the tree, and the tail in which he hopes is yours. the closer he gets, the tighter his chest feels. is this you? are you okay?
now within arms reach, he slowly kneels down and moves the plants and fallen leaves aside. now with your body uncovered, he sees you. a sense of relief rushes through neteyams body, glad hes finally been reunited with his mate. however, that does not last long, as he is now overwhelmed with worry. you look unwell. you've tucked yourself into a tight ball, completely passed out.
he looks at you, then behind him, at all the ingredients scattered around the base of the tree. he can only assume they were gathered by you, that you wanted to do this for him. he feels a sense of guilt in his chest - knowing you did this for him and for yourself. that you needed to do something and he should have been there for you. he knew you wanted to be in the forest again, and he should have been the one to take you, instead of making you go out by yourself, all alone, now hurt and in danger.
neteyam snaps out of his saddened state, and does everything he can to bring you back to safety. as he slowly lifts you into his arms, carrying you bridal style, he notices how cold you feel, how weak you look, the lack of movement other than small, sharp breaths coming from your slightly open mouth. looking down at you he feels tears well in his eyes but knows he must be strong right now. for you.
you now in his arms, swaying slightly as he takes smooth yet long quick strides through the forest, towards home. you do not regain consciousness the whole way back, causing him to panic.
by the time he makes it back to the village, it is now light. neteyam yells for his family, for kiri, neytiri and mo'at to help, almost sobbing but holding back tears.
mo'at, neytiri and kiri all rushes out of their tents, following neteyam as he places you down in your shared tent. you're still unconscious, seeming like the stress, exhaustion, panic, in combination with being so pregnant has taking a toll on your body.
with the help of neteyams family, you waken after several hours. neteyam being by your side for each second, hand in his, slightly sobbing. he never slept, he is exhausted but he never wanted to take his eyes off you again. he needed to know that you were going to be okay.
as you open your eyes, you immediately find yourself looking at neteyam. you tear up, feeling an immense feeling of pain shoot through your body as you regain consciousness and feeling in your body. you squeeze his hand that has been holding yours all this time, in which gains his attention causing him to quickly whip his head towards your face, ears alert and his tired eyes wide. you immediately tear up just looking at his face, his tired, worried, exhausted face. you feel so sorry for making him go through this. you feel stupid.
looking into his eyes, your eyes now well up with thick hot tears, streaming down your face. the combination of emotional pain and physical pain overwhelms you entirely. neteyam holds your body, trying to comfort you with his embrace and words but you feel delusional. you're worried about the your and neteyams baby.
neteyam calls for mo'at now that you have regained consciousness, hoping she can help you feel more comfortable, less distressed.
as moat tends to you, all you can yelp out is 't-the baby'.
neteyam holds your hand tightly, looking over at you, not breaking eye-contact with you the entire time. he knows your killing yourself over this, but he just needs you to be okay, you and the baby will be okay. he knows it. mo'at nods and holds a hand around your swollen stomach. her face shows no change in emotion, concentrating hard. she drops her head.
'it is hard to say. i am sorry... i cannot tell as of right now, we should wait a little longer, wait for you to get stronger. your strength will help your child' mo'at says calmly.
hearing her words, you try not to panic. you do not know whether or not you have lost your child, but there is still a chance that everything will be okay. you look over at neteyam and he gives you a look of comfort, that things will be okay. you nod.
neteyam collects water and food, wanting to do anything he can to help you feel better. he gently feeds you, as you look up at him lovingly with a smile on your face. you notice the fruits that he cut up and gave to you are the same ones you collected for him yesterday. the ones you so eagerly went out into the forest to find, and failed to bring back...
'the fruit' you say.
'oh yes... i couldn't help but notice. thats why you went out to the forest right? to collect these fruits?' neteyam asks, with a soft voice, looking up at you from the bowl of fruit in his hands, a slight grin on his face.
'oh... hah... yeah - that's right...' you reply, quietly, looking down with a slight chuckle - feeling embarrassed.
'let's go gather fruit together hmm? get you out of this tent... we can do it together.' he responds. he doesn't want you to feel embarrassed from the prior event - not directly bringing it up, but hoping you might feel excited to go again - do things you used to do before becoming pregnant.
'i would like that... a lot.' you look up at him, and smile widely. you can't wait.
he looks back up at you and returns the smile, bringing his hands up to your face, thumb rubbing your cheek. neteyam slowly bringing his face to yours, giving you a soft peck on the lips. he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours, both of your eyes closed, staying like this together, just for a moment.
you're so grateful for him, for him finding you, helping you, loving you, forgiving you for putting yourself and your child in this situation. you feel stupid and embarrassed but he is just happy you're safe now.
hours pass, and you feel more like yourself - stronger and in less pain. you're still sore, but that is simply from the back pain of being with child, you're used to that pain now. you feel back to normal, maybe you were in shock? maybe now that you have regained your strength... your baby will be okay. it's all you can hope for.
after a long and exhausting 24 hours, eclipse falls and you find yourself dazing in and out of sleep. neteyam notices and softly moves you to your hammock, setting himself beside you, spooning you with his face by your neck and hand on your stomach. he is so happy right now, you beside him. he does not want to let you out of his sight, he just wants you to be safe and protected.
[end]
hi - this is my first fic, it's just something angsty and cute i wanted to get out of my brain somehow. i am not sure if it's any good but i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing it. hehe.
notes : how could i not publish a chapter on st valentine’s day ! here’s pt. 6, and let me know if y’all like it ! i decided to confuse y’all a bit, so just go look at how things went ;)
words : 5,24 k
tags : neteyam x reader x ao’nung, teasing, mentions of rape but nothing actually happening, words of comfort, alluding to smut in next part.
you woke up, lazily opening your eyes. neteyam holding you with his head on your chest, his arms tangled with your waist, the same way his legs were tangled with yours. you looked at him, asleep, his mouth slightly parted.
if his friends could see the way he was tangled to you like you were his moma, they would probably make fun of him for eternity. but at the same time, he was that comfortable that he could do whatever he wants with you without being ashamed.
he’s always been the biggest brother, he had to comfort and to guide others, and take care of everything, but who was there for him ? who could comfort him and guide him ?
the responsibilities sometimes weighted too much, making him break down.
but since you two started going to the beach, to smoke and talk, get everything off your mind, his life has progressed a lot. he always looked for you everywhere.
you’re the star he looks for every night.
you were there to be that motherly person he never had in his life. neytiri was a very good mother, but she sometimes didn’t realise how many responsibilities she laid on him. sometimes even pressuring him. but you didn’t pressure him into anything. you were just there to comfort him, do what he wanted to do, without feeling guilt or shame.
you loved the way he let you see that side of him. so fragile, so pure.
neteyam is a child in an adult’s body. because all of the things he’s been through, he’s grown up to be a tall child. you didn’t even realise that in the meanwhile, you shed a tear. everyone was so hard on him, even you. you made his life hell, like it wasn’t enough. you didn’t even think for a moment about the fact that he had to leave his home, the forest, and come here, where the people are different, where everyone judged him for not being metkayina.
you were shaken by him waking up. he hugged your torso, and still laid his head on your chest. you gently caressed his hair, laying a kiss on his head. you felt his lips curl on your skin. please, please, please don’t ever take neteyam away from me.
“neteyam” you said in a low tone.
“mh ?” he hummed back.
“we have to get up” he sighed, raising his head. you could see he was still tired, but at least if you two got up now, you could have breakfast and spend a bit of time together before parting ways. he had to train, and you had to talk to jake. you two are supposed to help ao’nung’s father with something you genuinely had no idea of. he lazily got up, giving you a hand. you looked at him for a sec, and he immediately understood what you wanted. he sighed once again, lifting you up, you hugged him. one hand on your ass, of course, and the other on your back. you circled his neck with your arms, laying a soft kiss on his neck.
he walked to the kitchen, plopping you down on the table once again. “can you go get the food from your parents’ pod ?” you said trying to convince him.
“oh c’mon ! my mom will skin me. at least go with me.” he said dragging you to the living room to get dressed. you huffed.
“ok fine !” he left a kiss on your cheek, putting a his cloth on. you picked out a top from your wardrobe, it was a shiny one with shells attached to it. it was definitely the prettiest one you had.
you felt neteyam behind you, unlatching it. you were super confused.
“no, ‘teyam we don’t have time-” you hurriedly said, eyebrows pinched in an angry expression. what sick idea was it to fuck before going to his parents’ pod ?
“if you think i’m letting you go to my dad’s pod in that tiny shiny top after i heard what you said last night about him, you have gone absolutely nuts.” he said, killing every protest of yours. he was seriously jealous of his dad ? you laughed, but also you couldn’t stop thinking about how much you loved him. this man was hilarious.
you put another top on, it was green, leafs covering it. he gave you an approving look which made you smile. you slowly walked out of your pod, enjoying every second you guys could have before starting the day.
“dad ? mom ?” neteyam asked, getting in his pod. you walked right behind him, noticing lo’ak and kiri eating on the table. “they’re not here…” kiri said with a questioning tone, eyeing the both of you. well, especially you.
she gave you that ‘you’re telling me everything later’ look, which you only smiled to. it’s not like you had any other option. lo’ak was even more confused than her, eyeing you both.
you sat down, keeping your distance from neteyam, since you still didn’t feel a hundred percent comfortable showing affection public. he noticed, sliding right beside you, a betting expression on his face, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the two guys that were in front of you. you coughed, trying to signal him to not get so close.
they both noticed the tension between y'all, so kiri decided to just tell y'all.
“so um…” she said, catching your attention, neteyam looking at her. she definitely noticed.
“… tuk has kind of already told us everything” kiri finished almost like it was a question more than an affirmation, she told them everything this morning when her and lo’ak couldn’t help but notice that the two of you were missing. you felt heat spread in your cheeks, not daring to make eye contact with lo’ak. just the thought of TUK knowing everything embarrassed you so much, you covered your face with your hands and deeply sighed. on the other hand, neteyam almost felt relived, his ears going up. he didn’t have to be the one to tell everything, and he also didn’t have to pressure you.
“oh, thank god.” he said, pulling you to sit on his lap, hand on your stomach, back pressed on his chest. “neteyam, have some fucking shame.” you said screaming, looking at him with an angry expression on your face, a confused expression on his.
“don’t you fucking scream at me, they know ! stop stressing, what the fuck.” he replied back, you could feel his legs tense under you. his eyebrows pinched together, mouth full of food.
“ugh, at least try and be ashamed ! and close your fucking mouth !” you screamed, forcing your hands on his jaw in an attempt at closing his mouth. he placed his bowl on the table, catching your hands holding them. “keep your goddamn hands off my face, you dirty slag !” he said, offended. kiri and lo’ak laughed at the scene, recognising that the two of you didn’t change one bit.
“and what the fuck are you laughing at ? lo’ak don’t think i’m not going to beat your ass later.” neteyam said dealing with them, lo’ak’s grin immediately dropping, your cheeks super red.
“NETEYAM !” you said, kiri widening her eyes even more, jaw falling. she looked at you, realising you told her nothing about it. “BRO I SWEAR IT WASN’T LIKE THAT !” lo’ak defended himself. you all laughed, easing the mood.
you slowly tried to get off neteyam’s lap, while he talked with lo’ak and kiri about something you weren’t listening to. you heard him stop talking, and realised he was side eyeing you.
he grabbed your thighs and replaced them on his lap. “stop moving, they already know we fucked and i took your virginity , don’t worry.” he chuckled and laughed. kiri gasped, but lo’ak laughed too.
in that moment, you felt a vein in your heart hurting. you felt naked, in front of all of them, getting thrown in the air like you were a piece of meat. such a special and important moment for you, getting talked about like you were one of his whores. neteyam didn’t notice at the beginning, but kiri did. she looked at you, almost asking sorry. but why would she apologise, it’s not her fault. you felt tears getting crowded in your eyes, and now you weren’t comfortable with neteyam’s hands all over your body. you felt stared at, even though kiri was the only person looking at you, caring about you. you regretted everything. the talks, the kisses, the sex, the love, the feelings.
in that exact moment, you wish you never met him. you thought he was different, you thought he could be better, but he is just the exact same. you felt dizzy, something heavily thumping in your head. kiri noticed your absent gaze, neteyam didn’t. how much did he really care about you ?
he found himself asking that question pretty often. since the dawn of time, you were only kind of a bet to him. something to win, a prize. without the sugarcoating, he saw you as an object. a very beautiful attractive shiny object, but still. he didn’t want to see you that way, but he just couldn’t. things obviously changed a bit, but your perception of his feelings towards you didn’t.
the way he was holding you inner thigh, the way his hand was grasping your shoulder, didn’t feel attractive anymore. it felt almost… molesting. kind of rapey too. you felt unsafe.
yes, between neteyam’s arms you felt unsafe. something that never occurred with ao’nung. you felt spikes chocking you, a heavy weight in your stomach, and you couldn’t manage to keep your tears to yourself.
did you make the right choice ?
a tear slipped from your eyes, and kiri noticed. you were literally trembling between neteyam's arms and he couldn't care or notice. you aggressively wiped it away, excusing yourself to get out of the pod. you needed some air. you couldn’t even breathe anymore, and you remembered neteyam’s hands. chocking you. no, let’s use the right words.
he was strangling you.
and you felt like a slut, because of how much you liked it, not realising you probably interpreted his actions wrongly. maybe he just wanted to abuse you, and you couldn’t even notice it because your brain and eyes were fogged with pleasure. your brain and eyes were fogged by him.
“excuse me.” you said, in the lowest tone possible. you got up, not being able to ignore the way neteyam’s eyes and fingers lingered on you, feeling like they were raping you. he didn’t even notice, and smirked at you. you felt almost like throwing up. kiri couldn’t hold back anymore, and as soon as you got out of the pod, she followed you.
you felt the fresh salty air get in your lungs, healing you, getting all the fog out of your brain. you couldn’t hold your tears back anymore, you weren’t even sobbing. just quiet tears scarring your face. those type of scars that never fade away.
you called your ilu, Dah’lia, and got on her back, your legs and feet now wet, feeling the ocean hug you more delicately than neteyam ever could. your ears sprung up, hearing kiri’s voice call you. you watched her as she got on her ilu’s back too. “( y/n ) ! wait !”
she was right beside you, wind blowing on your faces, bubbles tickling your feet, waves getting more and more big. “is everything okay ?” kiri spat out while trying to catch her breath.
you watched her as she brought a hand to your chest, while you decided what to say.
should you lie, say you’re fine, get back in your pod, and get meaninglessly fucked by your so called future mate, hoping every second he would not see the scared lonely shadow in your eyes, and hoping it would end as soon as possible, to able to just go to sleep, where neteyam couldn’t hover over you. the kid you were so in love with, would’ve never done such things, but still here we are. had you outgrown eachother ? was it a miscommunication type of thing ?
were you wrong for thinking about it that, or were you possibly overthinking again ?
should you say the truth ?
“i don’t know.” you calmly said to her, which wasn't entirely a lie, your voice hiding years of self doubt and hope. but hope saved no one, not even your secret hopeless romantic soul.
kiri sighed, her hand placed between your elbow and your shoulder, caressing it. it felt very different to neteyam’s touch, that once felt so protecting but now only felt dirty and disgusting.
“it’s just…” you sighed, gaze low, staring at the bottom of the ocean, so clear and so calm. you tried to collect your words, and explain everything to her. because she was the last person you wanted to disappoint by lying or even just lightly sugarcoating anything.
“… he said it, in that monotone, cold and materialistic way… that i almost felt like an object.” you finally said, a sob threatening to escape. spikes getting more and more heavy in your throat.
“oh, dear ( y/n ).” she said, hugging you. you grasped on her like your life depended on it, lowering your head on her shoulders, letting a few other tears escape. you could feel her heartbeat against your chest, calm and low. the heat of her hug, comforting you.
you let your thought and flaws flow inside of her, feeling all the negative energy get out of your system. you recollected yourself, and brushed every tear out of your face. you rapidly smiled at her, now having to go to jake and tonowari’s reunion.
“thank you.” you simply said. she smiled at you, kissing you on the cheek, still realising that neteyam could have never kissed you that delicately.
she brought her hand up, her ilu starting to go away as she said goodbye to you. you heard neteyam and lo’ak getting out of the pod, so you rapidly went away. neteyam noticed you, his smile slowly dropping finally realising that something could possibly be wrong.
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
jake saw you walking towards him, his arms opening to embrace you in a hug. he noticed your low mood, which he hates to admit has been your default these days. he didn’t want to be self-absorbed but he feared it was neteyam. you walked towards him, letting yourself melt in the hug, your head against his chest, his arms caressing your head. you felt tears prickle your eyes, but it was enough for today.
enough crying. you hugged him tighter, and he felt his heart squeeze in his chest. you felt your heart throb, and you couldn’t do anything but frown, tears threatening to fall. in this moment, you were so embarrassed about the way you talked about him that night with neteyam. you felt shame, almost like you were naked and everyone was watching you, once again.
you felt exposed, but who’s fault was it ? you were the one that exposed yourself.
you sniffed, catching his attention, him closely leaning to look at you in the eyes. you sniffed a couple more times, feeling your cheeks wet, and took a deep breath. jake looked at you with a sad tingle in his eyes. he was so wrong. he was so so wrong. but now you were knuckle deep.
he knew that even if you tried to leave neteyam, you would’ve had to kill him to actually be able to continue living your life. he was never going to leave you alone. as much as he loved you, he loved you in the wrong way. jake and neytiri recognised that, and they were not only scared for him but also his future mate.
neteyam couldn’t realise it, he was too deep in his fantasies, in his little sick world.
and unfortunately, you were absorbed in that world too.
the only way you could modify an already dried vase, is by breaking it.
you sucked in a deep breath, and smiled at him, tears still glossing your puffy eyes. he sadly smiled at you, trying to at least be your support for today.
you always thought neteyam was that father figure you needed in your life, not knowing you had the most perfect dad right in front of your eyes. maybe that’s why.
neteyam was jealous, jealous because jake treated you the way he should’ve been treated.
“why not me ?”
maybe he was overly protective and overly jealous of others, because he was scared you could find someone better. he knew there was someone better. just waiting for you to leave him, and embrace you in his arms, giving you the world and more.
he would rather see you unhappy with him, rather than happy with someones else.
because that was the last prove. he was not enough.
for you, for his dad, for lo’ak, for neytiri, for no one.
“atta girl.” he said, positioning his hand on your shoulder, comforting you.
“i love you, dad.” you slowly whispered. eyes looking up at him, you not knowing that he felt the same exact spiked in his throat, that you were feeling a bit of time ago.
“i love you too, daughter.” he said, giving you a light smile. he brought you next to him, hip to hip and walking towards tonowari’s pod. you enjoyed everything.
every breeze of wind, every ray of sun, because you never knew when it was going to be the last time, and if you only knew that that was the last time. jake got in, holding the flap for you, you entered. tonowari was seated in the centre, ao’nung next to him.
he was as shocked as you, not expecting you to be here. his eyes flashed open, his heart squeezing in his chest. he couldn’t breathe for a second, goosebumps flowing to his back.
same thing happened to you, trying hold the eye contact. god, how you missed him.
he immediately lowered his gaze, frowning towards nothing.
did it make you sad ? yes.
was it all your fault ? yes
you got out of your thoughts thanks to jake, who sat down, patting the place right next to him. ao’nung couldn’t even pretend that jake’s gesture didn’t remind him of what he did that night. of how you humiliated him. the way you ran in neteyam’s arms after everything.
tonowari looked at his son, his features softening as he saw ao’nung’s expression. he drifted his hand slowly on his back, patting it. it was going to be hard but he had to.
“so, were where we ?” tonowari said.
“oh yes, ao’nung’s mating ceremony.”
you were a hundred percent sure they heard your heart falling, because there was no fucking way. your head tilted upwards immediately, lips slightly parted, throat heavy . ao’nung’s squeezing his eyes as much as he could, just like jake.
“fuck.” was all he could think of, like things weren’t already as difficult as they could be for you. he noticed, the way your head tilted upwards, tears pooling in your eyes.
if he knew what the reunion was going to be about, he would’ve never brought you there with him. his heart thudding fast, his muscles tensing. ao’nung didn’t even think you were going to be there, tonowari knew a little to nothing about what happened between you two.
but he rapidly understood, it was much serious than he thought.
you swallowed the heavy lump in your throat. closed your eyes for a second and breathed, just like jake taught you.
“with who ?” you asked. a gasp almost leaving jake’s mouth, looking at you with a confused expression. how far did you want to go ? ao’nung looked up at you, lips parting to answer you, but he couldn’t. he physically couldn’t.
he was feeling sick to his stomach, having to pretend for the rest of his life that that woman was you. but she could never. she could never be as witty.
she could never be as caring.
she could never be as lovely.
she could never be as mean.
she could never be as evil.
she could never be as selfish.
she could never be you, end of discussion.
“Alyara.” tonowari said, softly smiling at you, which to be honest only made things worse.
you slowly nodded your head, lips pressed together.
the reunion continued, but without you. you were too lost in your own thoughts. you had lost him. at least this alyara could make him happier than you ever could. you had nothing to worry about. you suddenly felt your chest almost floating, like you were relieved. you felt… calm ?
“hey, ( y/n ), ao’nung.” you both raised your heads, recognising tonowari’s voice, ears standing up. “why don’t you go take a walk ?” he said, in a soothing voice, a smile plastering his face. ugh.
you eyed ao’nung, you didn’t mind if he didn’t mind. maybe walking a bit could give you some time alone. his gaze lifted, locking in with yours. your heart skipped a bit.
“that’s fine.” you said, getting up waiting for him. if he didn’t want to, this would’ve officially been the most embarrassing moment of your life. he got up too, looking at his dad, well more like killing him with his eyes. you let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding and got out, the sound of the waves immediately kissing your ears. you closed your eyes and breathed in.
you could never get tired of it.
you saw ao’nung getting out of the pod too, you looked back at him and smiled. you actually forgot how pretty this man could be. he was much taller than you, and also much more bulked than neteyam. he had more of a lean long look, while ao’nung was a bit more toned. the shoulders to waist ratio made you literally go crazy. there was nothing that could be more attractive. his v-line soft, but his cloth a bit more down than usual.
his thighs. they were pretty big, something that neteyam didn’t have. you couldn’t stop thinking about how much different it would’ve felt to ride his thigh instead of your mate’s, feeling arousal pool between your legs. ao’nung noticed. and tried to not care as much he wanted to.
your eyes wandering all over his body. if only he knew that in the exact moment that neteyam said he noticed you watching his thighs, you actually liked ao’nung’s thighs a lot more.
“would you like to go for a swim instead ?” ao’nung asked, smiling at you. he hesitated a lot before asking you, but he thought you’re already in deep deep shit, why not swim in it ? swimming together didn’t have to necessarily mean you two were going to fall back in love, well maybe you didn’t even love him in the first place. but who cares ? everything has been done already.
you met his gaze, his smile warming your stomach. you smiled back at him. “yeah, sure.”
he grabbed your hand, goosebumps rising all over your body. you felt the same dizziness as the first time you ever smoked, head thumping loudly. you two swished around all the pods, ao’nung laughing, the only thing connecting you was your locked hands.
even when you had already grown up and lived a million moments, that one with ao’nung for some reason, had a special place in your heart. the simpleness, the genuinity, the tension.
all of those factors, made the moment even more special than it probably was.
you two suddenly stopped, reaching your favorite spot to swim. you could feel the breeze caressing your skin, the sun kissing your cheeks.
you two looked at each other, and ao’nung started counting with his hands to three. a second after, the cold water was hugging your body. there’s nothing that you loved more than a breakfast swim, when the water’s extremely cold and you can feel it everywhere.
neteyam didn’t even try to know it, but ao’nung didn’t have to. he noticed.
he noticed your love for books, tobacco, poems, the moon, the stars, shells especially those shimmery silver ones, green, the ocean, and strawberries. he saw everything.
neteyam loved you, but one day you would unfortunately have to die. ao’nung loved your soul, something that could’ve never died, that would live different lifes and discover new things. if you died, he would be jealous of the earth that could hug your body, and of the new person your soul would be inside.
you especially loved this spot because of how well you could see the life of it. all the beatiful creatures lurking in their own special place, the way the soft sand could hug your feet when you could go that deep down, the way the water was so clear.
and this was his favorite spot, because he could always see your smile here.
he submerged, catching his breath, a few braids framing his face. a few drops ran across his face to his chin, where they dropped and went back to the sea. you still had a bit of difficulty swimming well, and holding your breath. when ao’nung noticed you struggling he dipped back in, swimming right in front of you. you felt him latch his arms circling his waist and ass, bringing you up.
you hurriedly breathed, catching your breath, you arms circling his shoulder and head, your stomach against his chest. he breathed out, looking at you. he was mesmerising, to say the least.
you couldn’t ignore the way his strong arms where holding you with no difficulty, he made you feel so tiny and delicate, almost like you could break at any given time. you couldn’t even ignore the way his arms were against your ass, holding it tightly. if neteyam saw the two of you right now, the world would have probably already ended.
you had your hands on his shoulders, supporting yourself. still breathing heavily, but not because of the water. because of him. the way his eyes tingled when looking at you, your stomach flipping at the thought of you clearing that sparkle in his eyes. you hand cupped his cheek, making his stomach flip this time. he could feel his heart beating so so fast.
he slowly slid you down, your legs hugging his abdomen, your core now against his stomach. the most subtle movement of his would immediately make you moan, without any shame. your puffy bud pressed against his muscly core, could make you see stars. a twinkle in your eyes.
your hands travelled from the top of his shoulders, to his side, a bit more upward his waist. you travelled your hands along the lines that his ribcage left on his skin. him being overly sensitive because of every move you make. your finger slowly traced the lines of his abs, he whined, his core flexing, it being his most sensitive spot. your mouth slightly parting at the realisation. his cheeks flushed, as pink as they could get.
he thanked god your pussy wasn’t against his waist, or you could’ve felt the tent his dick was making in his cloth. it twitching desperately at every touch of yours. he could feel his precum leaking, marking his cloth. he rolled his eyes, sighing.
your hand trailed from his core to his v-line. he held his breath. your finger slowly tracing the lines that formed it. your finger slowly entered his cloth, his eyes now quite wide, mouth parted. you slightly pulled the string, then leaving it making it snap against his waist. he closed his eyes for a second, you could feel him holding you even more aggressively now.
you raised your head smiling at him, he looked at you tears lightly bubbling his eyes from the teasing. “girl i’m so in love with you.” if he could only have the courage to actually say it to you.
“please, give in.” he whispered , looking through at you through his lashes. his dick was begging to get the minimum amount to stimulation, it being left completely untouched because his hands where too busy holding you. he felt it twitch uncontrollably, he was too deep in now to stop.
you blinked a few times, not realising what he just said. you used to have to beg neteyam to get that type of words to come out of his mouth. he always felt the need to make you feel like you need him, but it was sometimes nice to feel needed.
and if he wasn’t the one to need you, then why give any ounce of your time to him ?
nobody needed more attention from you than ao’nung at the moment.
“why are you with him ? why not me ? what does he have that i don’t ?” he slowly said, a tear crossing his eyes. your heart squeezed, your palm wiping the tear away. he cuddled his head in your hand. “please.” he said.
“please give me a chance to give you what you deserve.” he pleaded and begged.
every second that passed, was torture for him. but he didn’t want to act like him.
he didn’t want to make you notice his erection, make you uncomfortable or even try to allude to anything. he was better. he wanted to treat you the way you deserved to be treated.
“aren’t you tired ?” he pinched his eyebrows, an offended look on his face. your face was sided to the left, not having the courage to look at him. he noticed, and grabbed your jaw.
at the feeling of his fingers on your jaw, you closed your eyes. but it wasn’t rough. it was the opposite. so gentle, you couldn’t believe it. he dragged your face back to him, his calloused big fingers lightly pressing on your cheeks. he saw the way you got scared at his gesture, and mentally promised himself to not let neteyam lay a hand on you ever again.
“aren’t you tired of being treated like a whore ?” he asked, your cheeks flushing at his vulgarity. your panties were soaking wet, he strangely didn’t feel anything. heat pooling between your legs, but you couldn’t squeeze your thighs together since they were wrapped around him.
“don’t you think you deserve better ? why don’t you let anyone treat you like you should ? i don’t get it.” he said. you had no idea of where this was going , but you were definitely not going to get back now.
“don’t you want to see how you could feel about being treated the way you should ?
why don’t you let me give you a chance at being happy ?”
“show me.”
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
final notes : so... yeah ! this is kind of it for today ! hope y'all enjoyed, and PAH-LEASE let me know what y'all think in the comments and what y'all want to see in the next chapter's smut ;)
remaking a new blog cause i can’t stay away from writing
hi, loakbitch here. you probably know me from my main blog @ loaksbitch (that sadly got terminated/suspended) and i will be using this blog & username until i get my main blog back. if i won’t? then i’ll simple use this one.
i think there is probably a glitch or mistake from tumblr and i have already sent a support ticket to tumblr which i’ve to wait very patiently to hear something from them! i will upload all my works here and i hope it reaches out to all of you babies that were there for me on loaksbitch :(
it has been already three days yet i dearly miss my account there and it’s sad to see it go to waste after all my hard works and 5000+ followers, i’ll even miss the fun there but i hope i get my blog back because i’ve read many of blog owners did.
but the worse news is that this blog might even get terminated since i tried to open two new blogs and they got terminated as well. if anything bad happens you can contact me through my wattpad account. so yeah that’s it! i’m back now <3
if you’re comfortable please help me rebloging and letting know the others too
i saw @anchoeritic aka kells sweets even blogged about be and read the replies as well!! so here i ammm 🫶🏽
tagging my mutuals from there (loaksbitch) and people used to talk to. @eywas-heir @eywaheardyou @evanpetersluver @tsireyqs @drspellmans @arachine @ripneteyam @mayhemories @eldriidd @number1gal @fluloa @tonowarii @anchoeritic @4xrina @netesbby @fleursbending + more! i can’t seem to remember so lmk and i’ll add you!! even my dearest emoji anons (🩰🐣❗️☁️🧚♀️)!! i love each and everyone of you am thank you!! ** mwah
janainaart
yousharknotpass
theartofmadeline
dededos
