Written by the genius Demetri Martin

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Written by the genius Demetri Martin
Look before you cross...
This story happened a week ago.
As a young kid we were right to look both ways before crossing. Now not all of us carry this valuable lesson into adulthood. Now this isn’t a story about me biking and getting hit by a car at an intersection result in in broken ribs, it’s a story about a pedestrian who crossed the road.
Last week there was a “parade” thing for one of the schools at my town. I put parade in quotes since it was just a bunch kids marching essentially. Now I rode at a pace a bit faster at the side of the parade, now all of the sudden this dude decides to run to the other side of the road. At this point I was already ahead of the parade. But unbeknownst to him, I was near him before he decided to cross the street for no good reason. So he gets a bullhorn to his side and we both topple down. Now everyone watching the parade clapped and jeered as we both got up. I walked my bike to the side of the street where “No-Look” guy was and he proceeded to cross the road. I looked down in shame once I was fairly certain at least a few caught me on camera since they were filming the parade but I tried to play it cool by smiling. And then after the parade passed me, I cycled into the sun…
TL;DR: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side, but it ended up getting rammed by a bull.
So fucking excited!
Kickass. An action-comedy featuring Nicolas Cage, Chloe Moretz, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Aaron Johnson.
Kickass took superhero movies and removed the SUPER. Ironically though, Kickass isn’t the most badass hero in the movie. I give first place to Chloe Moretz aka Hit-Girl as she is a deadly as fuck assassin at age 11 I believe. Second place goes to Nicolas Cage aka Big Daddy, for what reasons you may ask. I answer, cause Batman.
Narration is quite used in this movie, but just enough so it didn’t feel like a fucking Animal Planet documentary.
What turned me off from the movie the most was at the end where Chloe has a bag full of guns and stuff and doesn’t even touch it.
I give it 6 and a half bananas out of 10!
Any comments on my review? Where should I improve? Thanks for reading!
Here’s where I got the pic: http://background-download.com/background/movies-3-ass-background-kick-movie-wallpaper-39037.jpg
To those people who have trouble going to the gym, you need DISCIPLINE, NOT MOTIVATION. motivation isn’t bad, it’s the spark that starts you up. But like in cars, you need fuel to keep you going. That’s discipline. Originally from https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/2imf8x/image_a_different_perspective_on_motivation/
A creepy take to one of the most famous nursery rhymes. Tell it to the young ones haha.
A really good concept but proper form of the poem was not followed that well. Thank you to /u/icantastethecolors from Reddit!
Here is the link to the post if you're interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/creepy/comments/3241l3/mary/
Movie reviews coming to a blog near you soon!!!
I have been watching a ton of movies recently and am thinking of writing reviews for them since I'm bored as fuck at times. Nothing definite yet but will most probably happen since I can be extremely lazyyy....
Was writing out an long description but got bored. Well they do say a pictures is worth a thousand words.
To everyone reading this who has contemplated giving up on life, don’t.
Dogecoin. A cryptocurrency just like BitCoin and Litecoin. But it has a fun twist as you can literally tip other people. To get started here is a nice reddit beginner guide www.reddit.com/r/dogecoin/comments/1xncnr/the_beginners_guide_to_dogecoin/ You can also go to the official dogecoin dogecoin site at www.dogecoin.com To the moon shibes!
Really creepy story which has a completely true message. Reminded me of Tyler Durden’s quote in Fight Club, “On a long enough timeline the survival rate of everyone drops to zero.”
Original Source is from http://www.emcarroll.com I recommend that you check the site out.
I recently got a fixed gear bicycle or "fixie" and can definitely say I love it. Fixies have a fixed gear/cog which basically means you cannot coast. The pedals move in sync with the wheel. As said in a movie that popularized fixies, "Can't stop, don't want to either."
Mantra http://on.fb.me/1Kh1iAr
Recently got a fixie and am hooked!
Visited Singapore for the first time and WTF
Family Planning!
Happy New Year!
A New Year is the opportunity for a new start, a new endeavor, or shedding an old habit. Create, renew and, most importantly, move in the general direction of what kind of person you want to be!
Make 2015 yours.
Love, wikiHow
wikiHow to New Year’s Resolutions
1. Accomplish a Goal.
2. Find Your Passion.
3. Sleep Better.
4. Do Yoga for Absolute Beginners.
5. Stop Breaking Promises.
6. Resume a Friendship with a Long Lost Friend.
7. Budget Your Money.
8. Drink More Water Every Day.
9. Run a Marathon.
10. Eat Healthy.
11. Apply for a Guinness World Record.
12. Stop Biting Your Nails.
13. Ask for a Pay Raise.
14. Attract More Love In Your Life.
15. Break a Habit.
16. Write a Book.
17. Meditate.
18. Resign Gracefully.
19. Save Money.
20. Start a Blog.
21. Learn Something New Every Day.
22. Maintain a Clean Home.
23. Learn to Play an Instrument.
24. Avoid Gossiping.
25. Be Yourself.
26. Get Six Pack Abs.
27. Get Out of Debt.
28. Start Your Own Business.
29. Wake Up Early.
30. Floss.
31. Recycle.