Pinned post: facts and headcanons about the muse
Is SUPER insecure about her appearance. She might or might not cry about it once in awhile (but don’t you dare let on that you know, turds!)
In addition to her issues with her headgear, Shelly also has body image issues (I go into more detail about this here)
She craves attention from her parents and resents Stan for hogging it all (canon basis for this).
But at the end of the day, she cares for Stan deep down. Anybody who messes with him has to go through her first.
Gets detention at least once a week, mostly for fighting. And nearly all of said fights are with boys.
Had Mr. Garrison for 3rd grade. Is the reason for most of his gray hairs.
Kids from preschool to 12th grade are aware of her reputation and keep a wide berth. So do a few teachers.
Would love to go hunting with her uncle Jimbo and is a bit hurt that he’s never invited her. SHE certainly wouldn’t have any problems shooting the cute bunny.
She’s both furious and humiliated that boys find Sharon attractive.
She gave her family the silent treatment for a week after she found out that they knew that Randy was Lorde before she did.
Her canon birthday is November 24th and she hates it when her birthday falls on Thanksgiving.
She got into her first fistfight in kindergarten after a boy called her “Smelly Marsh”
Is among the shortest kids in her grade, alongside Kevin McCormick and the late Larry Feegan. It annoys her to no end when she’s mistaken for a 5th or 6th grader (what grade is she in?)
She was affected by the Skyler thing a lot more than she lets on (more info).
Her relationship with Randy started to deteriorate after she learned that he was Lorde and only got worse after they moved to the farm. Despite everything, she does want his attention and love, but she feels neglected by him. God help him if she ever finds out about what really happened to Larry
Like many teenagers, she simultaneously pushes people away and complains that they don’t try to understand her
Her friends started distancing themselves after word got out that Randy was Lorde and it got worse after Shelly moved to the farm. But whatever, she doesn’t need those fake bitches anyways. Really.
She has officially entered her “Must piss off Daddy” stage of life
Despite the username, she outgrew Britney Spears shortly after she turned 13. Only millennial turds care about her anymore! Her tastes are more along the lines of Billie Eilish, Halsey, and Marina and the Diamonds. Still pop, but not bubblegum pop.
Has developed a bit of self-awareness about her behavior as of late (she canonically acknowledged her anger issues in S19E10) and has had some harsh realizations. Other than that moment at the dinner table, she’ll never admit it out loud and is still angry and violent as a front.
Has trouble accepting compliments (more info).
Will NEVER let Cartman live down “bears” or “tummy rub rubs”
Is terrified that her teeth won’t ever be fixed or that she might have to wear braces again in the future, so she follows the orthodontist’s rules to an almost militant level. She won’t touch any of the forbidden foods and no matter how much she craves nicotine, she won’t ever turn to actual cigarettes or any other tobacco products because she doesn’t want her teeth to turn yellow. That’s one of the reasons she decided to vape.
While she might seem exasperated by him at times, she has a soft spot for Kevin McCormick, since they’ve known each other their entire lives. She won’t let anybody fuck with him.
Like her brother, Shelly’s pretty athletic, but unlike him she doesn't’ participate in organized sports. It... doesn’t work out well. That poor North Park volleyball player’s nose will never look the same again.
You WILL catch hands if you voice your disdain for girls who like pink. Henrietta learned this the hard way.
While Shelly is angry, violent, temperamental, irrational, and outright mean, she does have some standards. She’s no bigot and with the exception of hunting, she’ll never harm an animal.
She once overheard Randy telling somebody that he hoped that Shelly was a boy when Sharon learned that she was pregnant with her. Now she’s convinced that Randy never wanted her and that he loves Stan more because he’s a boy.
She blames Randy’s bloodline for her dental issues. Unbeknownst to her, she gets it from her mother. Sharon had braces as an adolescent.
Shelly's favorite literary genre is the ever popular post-apocalyptic teen fiction. She also steals some of Sharon's trashy romance novels on occasion. She swears, she has no idea how that copy of The Valley of Penises ended up under her bed! She also read the Twilight saga and was on Team Jacob. She ended up throwing Breaking Dawn against the wall in a fit of rage.
Has recently developed a sudden and unexplained aversion to fire.
Overall, is very sad and lonely on the inside
Future headcanons
More will be added as I go along.
