I have some important news and updates; After I complete all the commission for everyone from tumblr/twitter/deviantart, Iām planning to go on a brief hiatus for my mental health and self care.
Sorry for my poor grammar, in advance :U
Iāve initially joined the community for self-care purposes, but itās been weighing on me since last winter. Every time I log on thereās some discourse going on, and negativity everywhere, and only thing thatās been bringing me joy has been drawing followers and friendsā commissions. I love my f/os but I canāt find any energy to draw anything for myself anymore... Iāve been trying to find my energy to do so for past few months, anything for myself, and until recently, itās been a difficult challenge for me. Aside from drawing otherās ships, I couldnāt pick myself back up to be inspired anymore.
I will admit right hereā Iāve been stretching out my commission for therapy purposes, they are really fun to draw, and I will admit, while I am an extreme novice at this, and I took way more than I could possibly draw in few months realistically. I was in a very difficult situation financially and academically at the time, and I needed any help I could getā and I appreciate you allās generosity. Thanks to you all, I was able to finish college, when I thought I had to drop out. I have overestimated my time and potential, and I am very sorry. it has been a great therapy for me during my darkest times (especially RIGHT NOW) and Iāve been taking time to enjoy and discover and study everyoneās s/is and f/os. Aside from struggling with my crippling perfectionism that made me take way longer to finish a simple doodle commission, I was honestly afraid of all the commissions to end at this point, since it was like a getaway from all the irl garbage that was going on from outbreak spreading within my fam in jpn (lot of elderly crammed in a small house) to losing my colleagues in protest less than weeks from returing back to the states. In times like these, commissions were great because the request for poses and couples were already made, and I didnāt have to think too hard to draw them, just appreciate the ship when I was in a really bad state. There was a time when even that became too much for me, and Iāve attempted to draw something for myself, but nothing came out because I was depressed and exasperated from thinking about this community.
Currently, Iāve discovered a new community and Iāve been thriving. I find myself spending more time over there than here, aside from throwing batches on commissions and keeping touch with friends Iāve met along the way. As much as I am pained by this, I have no intention of staying in this community, and now that there are only few commissions left for me to do, I see myself not returning after they are all finished... I hope that isnāt the case yet, and hoping to discover the feeling Iāve felt when I was once having so much fun here. Since my part of the city is still under the lockdown, I am planning to speed up my commission process, since I am aware many are still waiting (Thank you for your patience btw!! ;-;) and then decide if I should leave or stay. I appreciate all of you, and you guys have gifted me so much unforgettable memories!Ā
I will be around until the commission ends!Ā
Feel free to drop by <3
keep makinā magic,
Maisy