It's Bridie, Bitch

Cause your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine! || Owner of Tír na nÓg. || A Big Fuckin' Deal

[itzbridiebitch]

[user doesn’t respond for a long while]

[pm] okay no. No no. We’re not doing this. We’re not going to sit here and pretend that it is somehow all my fault. In case you don’t remember that night, I was trying to drink seltzer so that I would have my wits about me while I was playing bait for you. I am one person, and I was doing my fucking best to keep track of all the moving pieces. I went into a dangerous situation as a favor. I thought you had my back. And you did, because you came and got me out of there. But you don’t see me sitting here blaming you for how it went down, Owen. So I’m not going to sit here and take blame for something that isn’t my fault either.

So if you wanna run that back and try that ‘I’m glad you’re okay, how are you feeling’ again, be my guest.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Oh my fucking god. Are you done? Please be done because that was a lot.

[itzbridiebitch]

[pm] oh fuck you. 🖕

[pm] yes I’m done.

[itzbridiebitch]

[user resists the urge to drop her phone in a puddle so she doesn’t have to look at that particular dm]

[pm] sorry to disappoint.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Not disappointed, just surprised.

So, not gonna try any excuses for how that dirtbag got into your drink despite explicit instructions?

[itzbridiebitch]

[user doesn’t respond for a long while]

[pm] okay no. No no. We’re not doing this. We’re not going to sit here and pretend that it is somehow all my fault. In case you don’t remember that night, I was trying to drink seltzer so that I would have my wits about me while I was playing bait for you. I am one person, and I was doing my fucking best to keep track of all the moving pieces. I went into a dangerous situation as a favor. I thought you had my back. And you did, because you came and got me out of there. But you don’t see me sitting here blaming you for how it went down, Owen. So I’m not going to sit here and take blame for something that isn’t my fault either.

So if you wanna run that back and try that ‘I’m glad you’re okay, how are you feeling’ again, be my guest.

[itzbridiebitch]

Taylor Swift. Taylor Allison Swift. The Music Industry. Miss Americana. Singer Songwriter of our generation.

[wonder-in-wings]

"Our Generation", who's that? What's your generation?

Why's she so important? Who gave her these (apparently) distinguished titles?

[itzbridiebitch]

What’s ‘our generation’? Oh no Wait are you a boomer? This is giving me boomer vibes. Let me put it in terms you’ll understand maybe. She’s this generations John Lennon. Or Mozart. Or like. Hildegard Von Bingen

And she’s so important because she’s incredible.

Do you not want to know what your government assigned Tay Tay song is? Do you not want to know what the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned to determine your song?

[itzbridiebitch]

Hello hello beautiful people of Wicked’s Rest. I’ve decided that in the theme of being assigned what I believe were called tsum tsums, I will be doing a musical spin on this.

So give me a few cute lil fun facts about yourself, and to make me feel slightly better about having NO tickets to see The Eras Tour, I will assign you a Taylor song based on your response. Or like. Based on your vibes if I know you well enough.

[thexhuntress]

Why would someone want to go on a tour of the eras? Isn't that just a museum? How droll. This Taylor Swift is highly overrated. Her music is subpar at best and yet has fans by the millions.

Taylor Swift is a Siren.

You will get no information from me as I see it as unimportant.

You may know that I have an Irish Wolfhound named Bane. Do with that information what you will.

[itzbridiebitch]

The eras of Taylor Swift? So many people. That Ticketmaster broke and died and KICKED ME OUT OF THE QUEUE BEFORE I COULD GET TICKETS but that isn’t important.

What’s important is that you said droll and that you have a big dog. So you’re for sure a quill pen lyrics girlie. And since you mentioned a dog, I think you should maybe dye it key lime green, because I’m assigning you ‘the last great amereican dynasty’. Enjoy having a marvelous time ruining everything <3

[itzbridiebitch]

Hello hello beautiful people of Wicked’s Rest. I’ve decided that in the theme of being assigned what I believe were called tsum tsums, I will be doing a musical spin on this.

So give me a few cute lil fun facts about yourself, and to make me feel slightly better about having NO tickets to see The Eras Tour, I will assign you a Taylor song based on your response. Or like. Based on your vibes if I know you well enough.

[longislandcharm]

What the hell is a tsum tsum? I just keep thinking vroom vroom like some tricked out dodge charger is flying down the street. Also, it's a shame you can't make it to the tour, was a pretty awesome show.

Facts: I grew up between two different cities as we went back and forth between LA and Long Island, my cat hates everybody but me so I'm sure my mother is having a great time with her right now, and my favorite food is Soto Betawi. I can't wait to hear this answer.

[itzbridiebitch]

I’m like. 80 percent certain it’s a fancy Disney emoji.

Annnnd based on that list of fun facts, you’re 100000 percent a 1989 girlie. So I’m assigning you New Romantics.

[itzbridiebitch]

Hello hello beautiful people of Wicked’s Rest. I’ve decided that in the theme of being assigned what I believe were called tsum tsums, I will be doing a musical spin on this.

So give me a few cute lil fun facts about yourself, and to make me feel slightly better about having NO tickets to see The Eras Tour, I will assign you a Taylor song based on your response. Or like. Based on your vibes if I know you well enough.

[wonder-in-wings]

...Who? Reword your sentence, you sound like you're trying to take knowledge--

[itzbridiebitch]

Taylor Swift. Taylor Allison Swift. The Music Industry. Miss Americana. Singer Songwriter of our generation.

[itzbridiebitch]

@underacrescentmoon replied : What if we don't have fun facts. Only unfun facts?

Then you’re probably getting assigned a track five. Or a folklore/evermore era track.

[itzbridiebitch]

Hello hello beautiful people of Wicked’s Rest. I’ve decided that in the theme of being assigned what I believe were called tsum tsums, I will be doing a musical spin on this.

So give me a few cute lil fun facts about yourself, and to make me feel slightly better about having NO tickets to see The Eras Tour, I will assign you a Taylor song based on your response. Or like. Based on your vibes if I know you well enough.

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] I talked to him one time, and he pretended to be someone else and wrote stories about me kissing him. Creepy.

[itzbridiebitch]

[pm] you're telling me the BMV guy had Emilio fanfic? Self insert Emilio fanfic? ohmygod.

[faustianbroker]

[pm] Ah. Well... that's everyone else's loss, then. Glad you feel you can trust me, though. Funny, that's the opposite of the reaction I generally get when folks find out I'm not just a staggeringly handsome human. [...] But of course it's okay. I've got you.

Heh, it made sense. Sometimes you gotta let it go off the rails a little bit to make sense of shit. No harm in that.

[itzbridiebitch]

[pm] What can I say, I'm not general folks. The pointy teeth and the fact that your euphoria tastes like a shipwreck in a lightening storm makes everything so much more fun.

[pm] but I do really appreciate it. Really truly.

[pm] and good, because my train of thought has never once been on the track in my entire life.

[thesilentmedium]

That does sound a little concerning, you may have a ghost. If you like I can always come over and take a quick look, I am a medium so dealing with ghosts is my second job. I do not charge for simply looking if you are worried about that. nor do I charge for simply providing answers. But I would suggest that if you do have a ghost that you take care of it soon.

[itzbridiebitch]

But like.... Would you get rid of the ghost? Because I have another guy pointing out that people will shell out big money for the promise of a little otherworldly fun. And like the bathroom ghost had first dibs on the club, so I'd hate to put her out of a cozy little three stall bathroom.

[howdy-cowpoke]

Definitely ghosts. You should hire someone to come check it out! That could be fun. I like those internet video shows where they go into haunted places and scare themselves. Plus... advertising? I guess? That's what Alan would say--

[itzbridiebitch]

Ooh you have business savvy. I love it! I mean it probably would have been better if my bestie from beyond the veil had waited till like. October to make themselves known. How cute would an actual haunted nightclub event be for Halloween?! But the advertising thing could be a really good sell... A haunted bathroom AND a haunted barstool??? I'm winning, clearly.

[fox--tales]

The only barstools that I've seen fall over on their own are broken ones. So I'm gonna go with no. It sounds spooky, though. Could be a ghost! I can totally help you with that, by the way. How do you feel about foxes? Where is the weird vibey barstool anyway?

[itzbridiebitch]

yeah no it's for sure not broken. It's got all of it's legs, and they're all level. Can barstools be haunted? I mean our bathroom's already haunted... maybe the bathroom ghost will want a new bestie If it's haunted, it's recently haunted. And I'm really going to have to find out what is happening at bingo night, because I swear it didn't used to do the poltergeist routine.

[totally-not-a-dod-agent]

I try my best ! Thanks for noticing. Glad you noticed.

Alright, alright. Sold ! So, what does it mean, your place's name? It's rather uncommon.

[itzbridiebitch]

Please, clever and pretty faces are the two things I pick up on the quickest babes. Nice to see you have both going for you.

Annnnd you're definitely not the first person to ask. Maybe I should put a FAQ or something on our socials... Or a subtitle. But I feel like that would be a bitch and a half, to have to pay for new signs. Tír na nÓg is a mythological fairyland. It kind of translates to land of the young. Think like Avalon, or Neverland, or any of those other fun fantastical party towns.

[itzbridiebitch]

So do barstools typically fall over on their own, or just generally have weird vibes? And like. Do people typically complain about the AC being to high when they’re only sitting in this one specific bar stool? Is this something I should be looking into?

[itzbridiebitch]

[user switches to private messages]

[PM] Have I mentioned lately Chuck that you are my very favorite pretty demon in the whole wide world? Because you are. Also the only demon I know as of this moment. But like. You're totally winning. <3

[faustianbroker]

[pm] I'm flattered, doll. What'd I do to deserve this praise, huh? Is it about the warden? That was nothin', just a nice dinner.

[itzbridiebitch]

[pm] well yes but also no. But I am glad he made a good dinner. At least he was good for something.

[pm] I don’t exactly get invited places by people frequently, especially not over seas. It’s a weird in a ‘lots of people think you’re fun but also that’s because it is literally your nature to exude fun’ so does anyone actually like me- maybe Owen had a point about the head messing -I am way too in my head about this - I don’t have like. A ton of people I trust in town? Which is sucky since I’m quite a-ways from home. But you’re on my short list of ‘shit’s bad, stranded on the highway at three am with no gas’ people I trust. If that’s okay? But like all this to explain the flattery…

[pm] did any of that make sense? I think my train of thought derailed or something.

[itzbridiebitch]

Right… yeah for sure. Okay. Are you mad at me what did I do are you okay you let me leave after that I was hurt-

You gonna come in for free entry while wearing purple week?

[bladesandtrades]

Might. Busy schedule and all that.

[pm] I see you managed to get home without dying fucking up again.

[itzbridiebitch]

[user resists the urge to drop her phone in a puddle so she doesn’t have to look at that particular dm]

[pm] sorry to disappoint.