Naptime

Ivan Alexander | 18 | Gemini FC: Dane DeHaan

[aquaberryblues]

… I don’t want to say I’m easily startled, but I was just coming downstairs to get some food and had my earbuds in…

…so when the door flies open and there’s a new person on the other side…

I may have jumped six feet in the air.

[ivantheedgelord]

Nothing more terrifying than a mid-season transfer.

[aquaberryblues]

…I’m so embarrassed. I was off in my own headspace and was literally about to yell “THE BLUES EXPLOSION” (don’t ask) and when she walked in, it got caught in my throat and I let out this fucking yelp instead.

… I could die from embarrassment.

[ivantheedgelord]

Well hey, it’s like my dad always says, at the very least you can be thankful you weren’t naked.

Unless you were, in that case, oof. My condolences.

[aquaberryblues]

… I don’t want to say I’m easily startled, but I was just coming downstairs to get some food and had my earbuds in…

…so when the door flies open and there’s a new person on the other side…

I may have jumped six feet in the air.

[ivantheedgelord]

Nothing more terrifying than a mid-season transfer.

[aquaberryblues]

Now that I hear myself say it out loud, holy shit… I’m kind of a mess??

[ivantheedgelord]

Aren’t we all, though?

[aquaberryblues]

It’s the American high school experience, honestly. If you make it through without missing sleep and getting straight A’s, you may as well have been using cheat codes.

[ivantheedgelord]

Too damn true. Even the ones playing with a full deck end up as total messes by the end of their first semesters. It’s the beauty of the American school system at work.

[aquaberryblues]

Now that I hear myself say it out loud, holy shit… I’m kind of a mess??

[ivantheedgelord]

Aren’t we all, though?

[ivantheedgelord]

Taking the lil bug out for her very first Halloween! We're narwals because I'm just that cheesy.

[ivantheedgelord]

Has anyone ever noticed that Whoopi Goldberg has no eyebrows?

[olliesawyer-a]

leave my mother alone

[ivantheedgelord]

Ollie, this revelation has changed everything for me. She has no eyebrows.. Where did they go? Who took them? Who hurt you Whoopi?

[olliesawyer-a]

she’s never had them leave her ALONE

[ivantheedgelord]

Poor Whoopi...

[ivantheedgelord]

Has anyone ever noticed that Whoopi Goldberg has no eyebrows?

[olliesawyer-a]

leave my mother alone

[ivantheedgelord]

Ollie, this revelation has changed everything for me. She has no eyebrows.. Where did they go? Who took them? Who hurt you Whoopi?

[ivantheedgelord]

Has anyone ever noticed that Whoopi Goldberg has no eyebrows?

[jonbutter]

the mcdonalds szechuan sauce was actually a secret plot to poison everyone who wrote in Harambe during last year’s election and it worked

[ivantheedgelord]

Text to: @olliesawyer

[Text]: Send bob and vagene pic.

[Text]: I want to kiss ur vegana for 2 hrs and then put my 1 feet pinus in ur vegana u will happy…?

[olliesawyer-a]

[ text ]: i’ll only open bob if we can watch wrestling together

[ivantheedgelord]

[Text]: Hmm, ok.

[Text]: But you have to promise you’ll wrestle with me when it’s done.

[Text]: If I don’t get a chair smashed over my head real soon I’m gonna be fricken mad dude.

[olliesawyer-a]

[ text ]: i’ll wrestle with you as much as you want dude 😗😗😗

[ text ]: idk if the chair smashing’s a good idea though

[ivantheedgelord]

[Text]: Alright, then you can just smash me instead ;^)

[Text]: Did I use that right, I'm so out of touch with the lingo nowadays.

[ivantheedgelord]

Text to: @olliesawyer

[Text]: Send bob and vagene pic.

[Text]: I want to kiss ur vegana for 2 hrs and then put my 1 feet pinus in ur vegana u will happy…?

[olliesawyer-a]

[ text ]: i’ll only open bob if we can watch wrestling together

[ivantheedgelord]

[Text]: Hmm, ok.

[Text]: But you have to promise you'll wrestle with me when it's done.

[Text]: If I don't get a chair smashed over my head real soon I'm gonna be fricken mad dude.

[ivantheedgelord]

Text to: @olliesawyer

[Text]: Send bob and vagene pic.

[Text]: I want to kiss ur vegana for 2 hrs and then put my 1 feet pinus in ur vegana u will happy...?

[ivantheedgelord]

Oh sweet, another photographer!

[noahwayjose]

Oh sweet, I think this is about me, right? Nice to know there are other film nuts around here! Or I guess digital nuts if you prefer that medium?

[ivantheedgelord]

Yeah dude, it's great to have another fan of photography around here! I usually stick to digital if I'm honest, knowing how clumsy I am, I'm pretty sure I'd make a huge mess if I ever tried to use film.

I'm Ivan, by the way. It's nice to meet you.

[ivantheedgelord]

Oh sweet, another photographer!

[ivantheedgelord]

♀- olliesawyer ( pain? pain )

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

Text to: Daddy Goo ( @olliesawyer )

[Text]: I have a confession to make.

[Text]: It pains me to say this… but it must be said.

[Text]: I don’t really like Rick and Morty all that much.

[Text]: I’m a farce. I’ve been faking it this whole time.

[olliesawyer-a]

[ text ]: HA 

[ text ]: i’m so glad you have no idea 

[ text ]: thank you for finally telling me the truth 

[ivantheedgelord]

[Text]: I had you fooled for a while there didn't I?

[Text]: Yeah, I've never even seen a full episode, but you know how much I love bad memes.

[Text]: But I'd still be happy to eat your sticky orange meme sauce, daddy.

[ivantheedgelord]

♀- olliesawyer ( pain? pain )

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

Text to: Daddy Goo ( @olliesawyer )

[Text]: I have a confession to make.

[Text]: It pains me to say this… but it must be said.

[Text]: I don’t really like Rick and Morty all that much.

[Text]: I’m a farce. I’ve been faking it this whole time.

[ivantheedgelord]

A show for intellectuals and intellectuals only.