"If they're going to punish me like a Crystal Gem..."

"I might as well be one." Hello everyone! Literate Lapis Lazuli roleplayer here. Re-entering the fandom after a while. Admin is 20. NSFW content may be present.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

//Hello everyone. I apologize for the sudden Hiatus, but I’m back! I’d love to roleplay with you all again. So go ahead and interact with this and I’ll rough up some starters

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow’s memories were somewhat glitched at times, fragmented. There was a screaming that could be heard in the distance however. It was dark inside, Snow’s thoughts echoing softly all around. It appeared that Snow was remembering something painful.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis glanced around slowly, arms pulled in close to her chest. She stepped forward carefully, following the thoughts as best she could. She finally focused on following the screaming, lowering her hands down to her sides now.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis had actually ventured out for a little with Peridot, since Steven said she wouldn’t be okay on this mission. She was pretty upset at the time, but she came to understand. She sighed as she stepped back in the barn, glancing around a tad. When she didn’t hear Snow, she sat on the truck bed, which was still parked precariously up in the ceiling and flickered through the tv, glancing at the small trash can that was usually empty. Only this time,it held some crumpled up paper.

She grabbed it,carefully unfolding it and reading them over. She smiled a tad, tears stinging at her eyes. Of course she loved it, even if it was never meant to reach her. She set the papers aside and glided down to go find Snow, who she assumed was outside. “Snow?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow was busy rebuilding the crop field that Peridot had told her about at one point, tending to the crops and watering the normal plants. Eventually she heard Lapis’ voice approaching her. “Yeah? I’m in the corn field!” she called out.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis moved over to the corn field and stepped in, following the sound of Snows voice. They never did heal Lapis all the way, but she seemed to be doing just fine. She walked up to the other and hugged her tightly from behind, burying her face into the hybrids shoulder. “I love you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow looked over her shoulder at her. “I love you too. How are you feeling today?” she asked, still a little concerned about her injuries. “What’s going on?” she eventually asked, a little confused about the sudden affection. Peridot and Lapis knew she was going to be out here working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis managed a smile. “I’m Okay.” She said gently. Of course, that was a mixed answer. It was painful from time to time, and it made laying on her back nearly impossible. She pulled back a little at the next question, shaking her head gently. “Nothing I just wanted to tell you.” She said gently before she glanced out at the crops.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow smiled, putting the equipment down and turning to face Lapis. “Let me see your gem. I should be able to heal it a little more.” She finally said. She still felt bad that Lapis was hurt, but at least she wasn’t too bad off. “Remind me to slap Jasper later too…” Snow chuckled, kissing Lapis on the forehead.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis smiles, closing her eyes as she leaned in a tad. She then turned so Snow could see her gem. The internal cracks were inconsistent, some had gotten deeper while others had disappeared. Steven had mentioned that Pearl had an answer for them, but the answer terrified her. They’d have to externally crack her gem to heal the inside properly.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow had remembered what Pearl said, and she didn’t like the idea, it was too risky to try and crack it. “Hey, I can try a trick I learned way back, but I would have to go inside your gem to do this correctly. That way I don’t have to do the thing that Pearl suggested. It’s a lot safer than trying to push my claw through your gem at least.” She looked at Lapis, waiting to see what she would say.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed a tad at that. She held her breath slightly. Lapis was a very secretive gem. And while she trusted Snow, she had never let anyone go in her gem, where she hid some of her darkest secrets. Of her life before the war. She looked away a bit, her hand moving up to her arm as she swallowed thickly. “I..I don’t know.” She said quietly, remembering the letter. Snow..wouldn’t care, right? That was her past. Everything she did or had done to her, it didn’t matter. “Are you sure it’ll work-?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded. “Pink taught me how to heal. I just have to project my aura once I’m inside.” she explained in the simplest way possible. “You might feel a little weird though, my aura can influence emotions sometimes.” she warned, looking at her. Snow just wanted to help her in any way she could. “To make it fair, I will let you enter my gem after I’m done, that way we will both know everything about each other. I will keep your secrets.” she added, a serious look on her face now.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis set her jaw in thought. She looked away, attempting to keep the walls she had learned to build up away. After a solid minute of tense silence, she slowly nodded, looking back towards Snow now. She knew Snow wouldn’t let it affect their life now. She just..didn’t like sharing a lot at once. But it was better than this pain every time she moved. She nodded again, this time a bit more determined and set. “Okay.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded, smiling soft at her before gently laying her hand over Lapis’ gem, waiting for her to let her in. “I’ll try not to stay too long.” she said gently, wanting to put her mind at ease as much as she could. “I love you so much Lapis, thank you for trusting in me.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis relaxed just a tad at the touch, her hands slowly lowering to her side. She let out a shaky sigh, nodding gently. “I love you too.” She said quietly, and after a small moment, she managed the courage to let the other in. Once inside the gem, it was a dark, stormy scene. The galaxy warp was in the distance, dark clouds hanging over the ground. Screaming and shouting could be heard in the distance.

The war. It was a replication of the day Lapis had been sent to Earth. To the other side however, it was warm, sunny. The beach, with the waves lapping gently at the sand.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow immediately felt very on edge, the urge to phase into her armor was hard to resist but she still managed it. Snow looked around to see if she could find where she needed to start first. After walking for what seemed like a long time she found something that looked a lot like what she imagined an internal crack would and placed her hands on it, a small backlash of pain striking through her as she worked on healing it.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

The internal crack seemed to be held in the middle of the war zone. Right where Lapis’ memory of herself was. It ripped through the scene and made the fight hard to comprehend. And it looked like this one had been growing for a while.

Lapis took in a sharp breath and slowly sat down, burying her face into her knees, which were pulled up to her chest. It felt weird, that was for sure.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow went to where the worst of it was and worked from there. Healing the cracks took more than she had thought it would, but Snow was determined to fix the damage. “I don’t care what it takes…. “ she murmured to herself as she focused harder, her aura flaring out violently as she worked. It took some time but it seemed like it was actually working, even it if was slow it was working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis took in a sharp breath and pulled her knees closer to her chest. It was an odd, fluttery feeling. Like a wound was being healed but at a slow, satisfying pace. And surely enough, the crack was starting to heal. It started off slow but once Lapis had forced herself to relax and trust that Snow knew what she was doing, it sped up the healing a tad.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow noticed the healing was becoming easier and was thankful, but it seemed to be taking a toll on her as well. Snow could feel pain in her hands and arms, and when she looked there seemed to be light blue striped scars slowly inching up her arms. “Nggh. It’s fine…” she told herself and continued until she was finally finished a few minutes later.

Now she just needed to figure out how to get out of here.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis slowly sighed as the pain edged away. She closed her eyes, and let her gem open back up for the other, fingers lightly digging into her arms. One thing in particular that could be seen now that the damage was healed, was Blue Diamond and Lapis. Another memory. The Diamond had explicitly told Lapis she was sending her to Earth, despite the war circumstances.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow watched the memory for a short time… feeling sad for Lapis before realizing that Lapis had opened her gem up again for her to leave, which she did. Once she was out she looked at Lapis, not saying anything to her for a moment before grabbing her and hugging her tighter than she had before. She closed her eyes and just held on tightly to her like that for a few minutes.

After the long hug she finally let go and took off her jacket, phasing on a shorter shirt to expose her gem. In doing so, she exposed a tattoo that Snow had gotten years ago, right before Steven was born. Pink Diamond’s symbol. It was tattooed right above her gem, along with some kind of coding above that, near the middle of her back.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis blinked softly at the hug, quickly returning it. She wasn’t sure what snow had seen, and that scared her slightly. She returned the hug tightly, feeling tears sting at her eyes. It felt like a huge bind had been loosened. She tightened her grip a tad before she took a sharp breath.

“Thank you.” She whispered before she blinked and slowly moved to stand up and slowly, place her hand on the others gem, glancing up towards the other cautiously.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow hesitated. “I’ve done things that I’m not proud of in the past, and I don’t want you to be scared of what you might see but it will most likely get very dark. Just… know that I am not that kind of Gem anymore.” she warned before opening her gem up to Lapis to allow her inside.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed up slightly at that, but nodded slowly. She leaned in to kiss the others cheek before she moved over to enter the others gem. She held her breath slightly, looking around carefully as she stepped forward slowly, tensing up and reminding herself that it’d all be past memories. None of this truly mattered anymore.

[fusixnmultimuse]

( F u c k  A )  S i l v e r   L i n i n g

[fusixnmultimuse]

   Once they got comfortable, Peridot listened to Lapis’ concerns. She couldn’t blame her - she liked having a quiet place to sit and relax. A place to sit and ground herself and to… daydream and look back. Though, even though she almost hated to admit it, she really enjoyed having people over. Not talking to anyone can get boring, even with so much to think about. She glanced back, and then focused on Lapis again. She leaned back in the sand, soaking into its grainy texture. “Yea, I’m OK with it. It gets quiet around. Sometimes TOO quiet. Plus, they’re our friends and it’s great to chat with them!” Peridot answered.

   Though it wasn’t exactly 24/7, the Gems were around a lot. Always checking in and making sure everything’s OK. Always wanting to include Lapis and Peridot in the fun things they do. And if they decline? The Gems understand, and wait for another day. Peridot didn’t mind the constant interaction, but she could tell that Lapis was feeling… invaded, just by the way she carried herself. “Hey, if you’re not OK with them around right now, we can send them on their way. Or… You can chill in the Temple. It’s nice and silent there. We’ll… Come up with a solution for ya”.

–

     Jasper paced back-and-forth out the back of the barn. Lapis. Lapis, LAPIS. That’s who she thought about - and only her. The name was like poison on her tongue - she wanted to say it and she wanted to talk to her and try her best to SHOW the smaller Gem that she was better, but she almost saw no point anymore. She knew Lapis resented her. She wanted to as well - and she couldn’t blame Lapis for hating her. She felt almost a… fondness, an adoration, for the tiny Gem. She couldn’t shake it no matter how bad she wanted to. She knew that it’s a fat chance Lapis would even look at her like a friend and not an enemy-that-she-wants-to-gut-alive. But she could hope, and try, and learn, right? At least she expected.

   “Heya,” spoke a voice. She jumped as Garnet stepped ‘round the barn edge. “You OK?”   “Y-yea, I’m OK”.   “No, you’re not. You’re crying”. And Jasper hadn’t even noticed it. She dabbed her finger to her face and wiped her eyes.   “Now I’m not”. And she sat against the barn, Garnet sitting down beside her.   “You thinkin’ about her, eh?”   “Lapis? Uhh, yea… It’s weird”.   “It’s going to be OK. We’ll… try and see if we can get you two to talk to each other. If we’ve all learned anything from Steven, it’s that talking is the best way to fix issues instead of keeping it bottled up”. Garnet flicked her glasses away with a sigh and blinked her three eyes in unison.

     “ Jasper, look at me,” she said as she leaned forward to meet Jasper’s eyes. “You’re our friend. Lapis is our friend. You’ve both been through a lot - and we’re all here for you both. You’re never alone”. Jasper blinked as Garnet clapped a hand on the Quartz’ shoulders, smiling. “Now come on. We’re getting the fire started”.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis looked away a tad, tensing slightly as she heard the other. Of course she felt invaded. That was her safe space. She looked away towards the ocean, watching the water lap at the sand.

“It’s our home. It’s ours. And they think they can just bust in and talk about whatever they want.”

She muttered his carefully, eyes adverted onto the other now. She took a deep breath and then slowly stood up, brushing off her skirt. She could smell the fire getting started in he distance. “We should go back...” she said quietly before she slowly moved to help the other stand up. She didn’t want to argue about it right now.

[vaememes]

 🎃    HALLOWEEN   SENTENCE    PROMPTS  !

​❝ happy halloween! ❞

❝ are you going to go to this halloween part with me tonight? ❞

❝ it’s halloween, so everyone is going to be dressed up. ❞

​❝ is that your idea of a costume? ❞

❝ i thought we agreed to stay in and have a horror movie marathon. ❞

❝ i went to the store and bought all new halloween decorations. ❞

​❝ are you going to help me put up these halloween lights? ❞

​❝ it’s halloween and we are spending it by going to a haunted house. ❞

​❝ i have plans halloween night, unlike you. ❞

​❝ we can always go to the pumpkin patch instead. ❞

​❝ are you going to help me carve these pumpkins or not? ❞

​❝ aww, where’s your halloween spirit? ❞

​❝ look, i carved this pumpkin all by myself, what do you think? ❞

​❝ wanna go out with me for halloween? ❞

​❝ come on, halloween’s not so bad. it’s actually fun. ❞

​❝ okay, i’ve got the best ghost story, wanna hear? ❞

​❝ let’s go trick-or-treating! ❞

❝ are you going to take me trick or treating this year again? ❞

​❝ come on, we have to go buy costumes for this party. ❞

​❝ it’s going to be cold on halloween, are you sure you want to wear that? ❞

​❝ you are literally the same thing every year for halloween. ❞

​❝ please, enough with the pumpkin spice. ❞

​❝ how about a pumpkin spice latte? ❞

❝ please, never use fake blood for a halloween prank. ❞

❝ oh no, please, tell me this isn’t another one of your ideas for a halloween prank. ❞

❝ you think you can scare me? ❞

❝ remember to always check your candy! ❞

❝ where is all the candy i just bought? ❞

❝ we are not going to a cemetery just because it may or may not be haunted. ❞

❝ i’m not going in a graveyard, are you crazy? ❞

❝ i’m going to dress up as the grim reaper because i feel like death. ❞

❝ trick or treat. ❞

❝ want to trade out some of our candy? ❞

❝ we should do a halloween game, like truth or dare ‘cept it’s trick or treat? ❞

❝ what school has a halloween dance party? ❞

❝ what are you going as for halloween this year? ❞

❝ are we really going to carve all these pumpkins? ❞

❝ you know, that was the best halloween party ever. ❞

❝ i’m going to a halloween party and you’re not invited. ❞

❝ you should totally come with me for this halloween thing tonight. ❞

❝ we can stay up late and watch scary movies. ❞

❝ i wanna make sure that my jack-o-lantern is the best! ❞

❝ let’s see who can carve there pumpkins the fastest! ❞

❝ i can’t believe they put some of these costumes on the racks. ❞

❝ what’s the point in decorating your house for just one night? ❞

❝ i’ve got a spooky story for you, if you want to hear. ❞

❝ do we have to go to this haunted trail? ❞

❝ that haunted trail/house sucked, i want my money back. ❞

❝ i didn’t see you at the halloween festival earlier. ❞

❝ i have to take my ______ trick or treating, or else i would. ❞

❝ are you going to the halloween thing they are having today? ❞

❝ do you really think the dead are roaming free among us on halloween night? ❞

❝ halloween is my favorite holiday, so i’m going with or without you. ❞

❝ you want to help me set up this halloween party? ❞

❝ this is going to be the best halloween of all time. ❞

❝ i’m just saying, let loose and have some fun for a change. ❞

❝ we should just make our own costumes. ❞

❝ we’re definitely getting matching costumes.  ❞

❝ i entered are names for this costume contest, one of us will definitely win. ❞

❝ i do not want to be in a costume contest. ❞

❝ wait, what? you don’t want to do anything at all on halloween night? ❞

❝ well, it’s over. now we have to wait all the way until next year. ❞

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis had actually ventured out for a little with Peridot, since Steven said she wouldn’t be okay on this mission. She was pretty upset at the time, but she came to understand. She sighed as she stepped back in the barn, glancing around a tad. When she didn’t hear Snow, she sat on the truck bed, which was still parked precariously up in the ceiling and flickered through the tv, glancing at the small trash can that was usually empty. Only this time,it held some crumpled up paper.

She grabbed it,carefully unfolding it and reading them over. She smiled a tad, tears stinging at her eyes. Of course she loved it, even if it was never meant to reach her. She set the papers aside and glided down to go find Snow, who she assumed was outside. “Snow?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow was busy rebuilding the crop field that Peridot had told her about at one point, tending to the crops and watering the normal plants. Eventually she heard Lapis’ voice approaching her. “Yeah? I’m in the corn field!” she called out.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis moved over to the corn field and stepped in, following the sound of Snows voice. They never did heal Lapis all the way, but she seemed to be doing just fine. She walked up to the other and hugged her tightly from behind, burying her face into the hybrids shoulder. “I love you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow looked over her shoulder at her. “I love you too. How are you feeling today?” she asked, still a little concerned about her injuries. “What’s going on?” she eventually asked, a little confused about the sudden affection. Peridot and Lapis knew she was going to be out here working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis managed a smile. “I’m Okay.” She said gently. Of course, that was a mixed answer. It was painful from time to time, and it made laying on her back nearly impossible. She pulled back a little at the next question, shaking her head gently. “Nothing I just wanted to tell you.” She said gently before she glanced out at the crops.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow smiled, putting the equipment down and turning to face Lapis. “Let me see your gem. I should be able to heal it a little more.” She finally said. She still felt bad that Lapis was hurt, but at least she wasn’t too bad off. “Remind me to slap Jasper later too…” Snow chuckled, kissing Lapis on the forehead.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis smiles, closing her eyes as she leaned in a tad. She then turned so Snow could see her gem. The internal cracks were inconsistent, some had gotten deeper while others had disappeared. Steven had mentioned that Pearl had an answer for them, but the answer terrified her. They’d have to externally crack her gem to heal the inside properly.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow had remembered what Pearl said, and she didn’t like the idea, it was too risky to try and crack it. “Hey, I can try a trick I learned way back, but I would have to go inside your gem to do this correctly. That way I don’t have to do the thing that Pearl suggested. It’s a lot safer than trying to push my claw through your gem at least.” She looked at Lapis, waiting to see what she would say.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed a tad at that. She held her breath slightly. Lapis was a very secretive gem. And while she trusted Snow, she had never let anyone go in her gem, where she hid some of her darkest secrets. Of her life before the war. She looked away a bit, her hand moving up to her arm as she swallowed thickly. “I..I don’t know.” She said quietly, remembering the letter. Snow..wouldn’t care, right? That was her past. Everything she did or had done to her, it didn’t matter. “Are you sure it’ll work-?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded. “Pink taught me how to heal. I just have to project my aura once I’m inside.” she explained in the simplest way possible. “You might feel a little weird though, my aura can influence emotions sometimes.” she warned, looking at her. Snow just wanted to help her in any way she could. “To make it fair, I will let you enter my gem after I’m done, that way we will both know everything about each other. I will keep your secrets.” she added, a serious look on her face now.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis set her jaw in thought. She looked away, attempting to keep the walls she had learned to build up away. After a solid minute of tense silence, she slowly nodded, looking back towards Snow now. She knew Snow wouldn’t let it affect their life now. She just..didn’t like sharing a lot at once. But it was better than this pain every time she moved. She nodded again, this time a bit more determined and set. “Okay.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded, smiling soft at her before gently laying her hand over Lapis’ gem, waiting for her to let her in. “I’ll try not to stay too long.” she said gently, wanting to put her mind at ease as much as she could. “I love you so much Lapis, thank you for trusting in me.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis relaxed just a tad at the touch, her hands slowly lowering to her side. She let out a shaky sigh, nodding gently. “I love you too.” She said quietly, and after a small moment, she managed the courage to let the other in. Once inside the gem, it was a dark, stormy scene. The galaxy warp was in the distance, dark clouds hanging over the ground. Screaming and shouting could be heard in the distance.

The war. It was a replication of the day Lapis had been sent to Earth. To the other side however, it was warm, sunny. The beach, with the waves lapping gently at the sand.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow immediately felt very on edge, the urge to phase into her armor was hard to resist but she still managed it. Snow looked around to see if she could find where she needed to start first. After walking for what seemed like a long time she found something that looked a lot like what she imagined an internal crack would and placed her hands on it, a small backlash of pain striking through her as she worked on healing it.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

The internal crack seemed to be held in the middle of the war zone. Right where Lapis’ memory of herself was. It ripped through the scene and made the fight hard to comprehend. And it looked like this one had been growing for a while.

Lapis took in a sharp breath and slowly sat down, burying her face into her knees, which were pulled up to her chest. It felt weird, that was for sure.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow went to where the worst of it was and worked from there. Healing the cracks took more than she had thought it would, but Snow was determined to fix the damage. “I don’t care what it takes…. “ she murmured to herself as she focused harder, her aura flaring out violently as she worked. It took some time but it seemed like it was actually working, even it if was slow it was working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis took in a sharp breath and pulled her knees closer to her chest. It was an odd, fluttery feeling. Like a wound was being healed but at a slow, satisfying pace. And surely enough, the crack was starting to heal. It started off slow but once Lapis had forced herself to relax and trust that Snow knew what she was doing, it sped up the healing a tad.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow noticed the healing was becoming easier and was thankful, but it seemed to be taking a toll on her as well. Snow could feel pain in her hands and arms, and when she looked there seemed to be light blue striped scars slowly inching up her arms. “Nggh. It’s fine…” she told herself and continued until she was finally finished a few minutes later.

Now she just needed to figure out how to get out of here.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis slowly sighed as the pain edged away. She closed her eyes, and let her gem open back up for the other, fingers lightly digging into her arms. One thing in particular that could be seen now that the damage was healed, was Blue Diamond and Lapis. Another memory. The Diamond had explicitly told Lapis she was sending her to Earth, despite the war circumstances.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow watched the memory for a short time… feeling sad for Lapis before realizing that Lapis had opened her gem up again for her to leave, which she did. Once she was out she looked at Lapis, not saying anything to her for a moment before grabbing her and hugging her tighter than she had before. She closed her eyes and just held on tightly to her like that for a few minutes.

After the long hug she finally let go and took off her jacket, phasing on a shorter shirt to expose her gem. In doing so, she exposed a tattoo that Snow had gotten years ago, right before Steven was born. Pink Diamond’s symbol. It was tattooed right above her gem, along with some kind of coding above that, near the middle of her back.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis blinked softly at the hug, quickly returning it. She wasn’t sure what snow had seen, and that scared her slightly. She returned the hug tightly, feeling tears sting at her eyes. It felt like a huge bind had been loosened. She tightened her grip a tad before she took a sharp breath.

“Thank you.” She whispered before she blinked and slowly moved to stand up and slowly, place her hand on the others gem, glancing up towards the other cautiously.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis had actually ventured out for a little with Peridot, since Steven said she wouldn’t be okay on this mission. She was pretty upset at the time, but she came to understand. She sighed as she stepped back in the barn, glancing around a tad. When she didn’t hear Snow, she sat on the truck bed, which was still parked precariously up in the ceiling and flickered through the tv, glancing at the small trash can that was usually empty. Only this time,it held some crumpled up paper.

She grabbed it,carefully unfolding it and reading them over. She smiled a tad, tears stinging at her eyes. Of course she loved it, even if it was never meant to reach her. She set the papers aside and glided down to go find Snow, who she assumed was outside. “Snow?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow was busy rebuilding the crop field that Peridot had told her about at one point, tending to the crops and watering the normal plants. Eventually she heard Lapis’ voice approaching her. “Yeah? I’m in the corn field!” she called out.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis moved over to the corn field and stepped in, following the sound of Snows voice. They never did heal Lapis all the way, but she seemed to be doing just fine. She walked up to the other and hugged her tightly from behind, burying her face into the hybrids shoulder. “I love you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow looked over her shoulder at her. “I love you too. How are you feeling today?” she asked, still a little concerned about her injuries. “What’s going on?” she eventually asked, a little confused about the sudden affection. Peridot and Lapis knew she was going to be out here working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis managed a smile. “I’m Okay.” She said gently. Of course, that was a mixed answer. It was painful from time to time, and it made laying on her back nearly impossible. She pulled back a little at the next question, shaking her head gently. “Nothing I just wanted to tell you.” She said gently before she glanced out at the crops.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow smiled, putting the equipment down and turning to face Lapis. “Let me see your gem. I should be able to heal it a little more.” She finally said. She still felt bad that Lapis was hurt, but at least she wasn’t too bad off. “Remind me to slap Jasper later too…” Snow chuckled, kissing Lapis on the forehead.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis smiles, closing her eyes as she leaned in a tad. She then turned so Snow could see her gem. The internal cracks were inconsistent, some had gotten deeper while others had disappeared. Steven had mentioned that Pearl had an answer for them, but the answer terrified her. They’d have to externally crack her gem to heal the inside properly.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow had remembered what Pearl said, and she didn’t like the idea, it was too risky to try and crack it. “Hey, I can try a trick I learned way back, but I would have to go inside your gem to do this correctly. That way I don’t have to do the thing that Pearl suggested. It’s a lot safer than trying to push my claw through your gem at least.” She looked at Lapis, waiting to see what she would say.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed a tad at that. She held her breath slightly. Lapis was a very secretive gem. And while she trusted Snow, she had never let anyone go in her gem, where she hid some of her darkest secrets. Of her life before the war. She looked away a bit, her hand moving up to her arm as she swallowed thickly. “I..I don’t know.” She said quietly, remembering the letter. Snow..wouldn’t care, right? That was her past. Everything she did or had done to her, it didn’t matter. “Are you sure it’ll work-?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded. “Pink taught me how to heal. I just have to project my aura once I’m inside.” she explained in the simplest way possible. “You might feel a little weird though, my aura can influence emotions sometimes.” she warned, looking at her. Snow just wanted to help her in any way she could. “To make it fair, I will let you enter my gem after I’m done, that way we will both know everything about each other. I will keep your secrets.” she added, a serious look on her face now.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis set her jaw in thought. She looked away, attempting to keep the walls she had learned to build up away. After a solid minute of tense silence, she slowly nodded, looking back towards Snow now. She knew Snow wouldn’t let it affect their life now. She just..didn’t like sharing a lot at once. But it was better than this pain every time she moved. She nodded again, this time a bit more determined and set. “Okay.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded, smiling soft at her before gently laying her hand over Lapis’ gem, waiting for her to let her in. “I’ll try not to stay too long.” she said gently, wanting to put her mind at ease as much as she could. “I love you so much Lapis, thank you for trusting in me.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis relaxed just a tad at the touch, her hands slowly lowering to her side. She let out a shaky sigh, nodding gently. “I love you too.” She said quietly, and after a small moment, she managed the courage to let the other in. Once inside the gem, it was a dark, stormy scene. The galaxy warp was in the distance, dark clouds hanging over the ground. Screaming and shouting could be heard in the distance.

The war. It was a replication of the day Lapis had been sent to Earth. To the other side however, it was warm, sunny. The beach, with the waves lapping gently at the sand.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow immediately felt very on edge, the urge to phase into her armor was hard to resist but she still managed it. Snow looked around to see if she could find where she needed to start first. After walking for what seemed like a long time she found something that looked a lot like what she imagined an internal crack would and placed her hands on it, a small backlash of pain striking through her as she worked on healing it.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

The internal crack seemed to be held in the middle of the war zone. Right where Lapis’ memory of herself was. It ripped through the scene and made the fight hard to comprehend. And it looked like this one had been growing for a while.

Lapis took in a sharp breath and slowly sat down, burying her face into her knees, which were pulled up to her chest. It felt weird, that was for sure.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow went to where the worst of it was and worked from there. Healing the cracks took more than she had thought it would, but Snow was determined to fix the damage. “I don’t care what it takes…. “ she murmured to herself as she focused harder, her aura flaring out violently as she worked. It took some time but it seemed like it was actually working, even it if was slow it was working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis took in a sharp breath and pulled her knees closer to her chest. It was an odd, fluttery feeling. Like a wound was being healed but at a slow, satisfying pace. And surely enough, the crack was starting to heal. It started off slow but once Lapis had forced herself to relax and trust that Snow knew what she was doing, it sped up the healing a tad.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow noticed the healing was becoming easier and was thankful, but it seemed to be taking a toll on her as well. Snow could feel pain in her hands and arms, and when she looked there seemed to be light blue striped scars slowly inching up her arms. “Nggh. It’s fine…” she told herself and continued until she was finally finished a few minutes later.

Now she just needed to figure out how to get out of here.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis slowly sighed as the pain edged away. She closed her eyes, and let her gem open back up for the other, fingers lightly digging into her arms. One thing in particular that could be seen now that the damage was healed, was Blue Diamond and Lapis. Another memory. The Diamond had explicitly told Lapis she was sending her to Earth, despite the war circumstances.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

It was a sunny day on the quaint shores of Beach City. The azure waves crashed against the coarse sands of the beach. Surprisingly the beach was vacant, not a single soul to be seen here. Suddenly a purple hue appeared and spiraled from the ground forming a small circle on the ground. Though before anything else could happen the hue had disappeared as suddenly as it came, and in its place an elderly man in very outdated clothing. The figure looks around and finally sighs. "A beach, how quaint."

Lapis has been perched up on the silo, eyes focused on the waves that lapped against the sand. It was so quiet, so peaceful. She pulled her knees up to her chest, a small smile placed on her lips. And just as she started letting her guard down, she saw the bright light. She scrambled to her feet, wings outstretching to aid in balancing herself out. She then looked out at the man that appeared, narrowing her eyes carefully. “Who is that..?” She asked quietly, moving so she could be lifted up by her wings, flying down to the beach carefully.

[pcrlesmainblog]

The figure stared further down the shoreline to see if he was anywhere near the city the locals “cleverly” deemed “Beach City. The figure vividly remembers the pier which was usaully covered in trash and bird droppings. The only good thing that he had to say about the place was that it wasn’t home. The figure, after some examination, discovers the presence of some sort of silo ontop the cliff. The figure now knew that the city had to of been a short distance away, so he began walking down shoreline to what he hoped was the city.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis took in a sharp breath, staying by the silo so she could hide if she had to. She tilted her head a bit before she slowly stepped forward and looked towards the man. People didn’t usually come out this far anymore. She let her wings fold in slightly before she looked out towards the male again. “Excuse me! You’re in a dangerous gem zone!” It was true. Corrupted gems wandered close to this area quite often.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis had actually ventured out for a little with Peridot, since Steven said she wouldn’t be okay on this mission. She was pretty upset at the time, but she came to understand. She sighed as she stepped back in the barn, glancing around a tad. When she didn’t hear Snow, she sat on the truck bed, which was still parked precariously up in the ceiling and flickered through the tv, glancing at the small trash can that was usually empty. Only this time,it held some crumpled up paper.

She grabbed it,carefully unfolding it and reading them over. She smiled a tad, tears stinging at her eyes. Of course she loved it, even if it was never meant to reach her. She set the papers aside and glided down to go find Snow, who she assumed was outside. “Snow?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow was busy rebuilding the crop field that Peridot had told her about at one point, tending to the crops and watering the normal plants. Eventually she heard Lapis’ voice approaching her. “Yeah? I’m in the corn field!” she called out.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis moved over to the corn field and stepped in, following the sound of Snows voice. They never did heal Lapis all the way, but she seemed to be doing just fine. She walked up to the other and hugged her tightly from behind, burying her face into the hybrids shoulder. “I love you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow looked over her shoulder at her. “I love you too. How are you feeling today?” she asked, still a little concerned about her injuries. “What’s going on?” she eventually asked, a little confused about the sudden affection. Peridot and Lapis knew she was going to be out here working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis managed a smile. “I’m Okay.” She said gently. Of course, that was a mixed answer. It was painful from time to time, and it made laying on her back nearly impossible. She pulled back a little at the next question, shaking her head gently. “Nothing I just wanted to tell you.” She said gently before she glanced out at the crops.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow smiled, putting the equipment down and turning to face Lapis. “Let me see your gem. I should be able to heal it a little more.” She finally said. She still felt bad that Lapis was hurt, but at least she wasn’t too bad off. “Remind me to slap Jasper later too…” Snow chuckled, kissing Lapis on the forehead.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis smiles, closing her eyes as she leaned in a tad. She then turned so Snow could see her gem. The internal cracks were inconsistent, some had gotten deeper while others had disappeared. Steven had mentioned that Pearl had an answer for them, but the answer terrified her. They’d have to externally crack her gem to heal the inside properly.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow had remembered what Pearl said, and she didn’t like the idea, it was too risky to try and crack it. “Hey, I can try a trick I learned way back, but I would have to go inside your gem to do this correctly. That way I don’t have to do the thing that Pearl suggested. It’s a lot safer than trying to push my claw through your gem at least.” She looked at Lapis, waiting to see what she would say.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed a tad at that. She held her breath slightly. Lapis was a very secretive gem. And while she trusted Snow, she had never let anyone go in her gem, where she hid some of her darkest secrets. Of her life before the war. She looked away a bit, her hand moving up to her arm as she swallowed thickly. “I..I don’t know.” She said quietly, remembering the letter. Snow..wouldn’t care, right? That was her past. Everything she did or had done to her, it didn’t matter. “Are you sure it’ll work-?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded. “Pink taught me how to heal. I just have to project my aura once I’m inside.” she explained in the simplest way possible. “You might feel a little weird though, my aura can influence emotions sometimes.” she warned, looking at her. Snow just wanted to help her in any way she could. “To make it fair, I will let you enter my gem after I’m done, that way we will both know everything about each other. I will keep your secrets.” she added, a serious look on her face now.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis set her jaw in thought. She looked away, attempting to keep the walls she had learned to build up away. After a solid minute of tense silence, she slowly nodded, looking back towards Snow now. She knew Snow wouldn’t let it affect their life now. She just..didn’t like sharing a lot at once. But it was better than this pain every time she moved. She nodded again, this time a bit more determined and set. “Okay.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded, smiling soft at her before gently laying her hand over Lapis’ gem, waiting for her to let her in. “I’ll try not to stay too long.” she said gently, wanting to put her mind at ease as much as she could. “I love you so much Lapis, thank you for trusting in me.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis relaxed just a tad at the touch, her hands slowly lowering to her side. She let out a shaky sigh, nodding gently. “I love you too.” She said quietly, and after a small moment, she managed the courage to let the other in. Once inside the gem, it was a dark, stormy scene. The galaxy warp was in the distance, dark clouds hanging over the ground. Screaming and shouting could be heard in the distance.

The war. It was a replication of the day Lapis had been sent to Earth. To the other side however, it was warm, sunny. The beach, with the waves lapping gently at the sand.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow immediately felt very on edge, the urge to phase into her armor was hard to resist but she still managed it. Snow looked around to see if she could find where she needed to start first. After walking for what seemed like a long time she found something that looked a lot like what she imagined an internal crack would and placed her hands on it, a small backlash of pain striking through her as she worked on healing it.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

The internal crack seemed to be held in the middle of the war zone. Right where Lapis’ memory of herself was. It ripped through the scene and made the fight hard to comprehend. And it looked like this one had been growing for a while.

Lapis took in a sharp breath and slowly sat down, burying her face into her knees, which were pulled up to her chest. It felt weird, that was for sure.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow went to where the worst of it was and worked from there. Healing the cracks took more than she had thought it would, but Snow was determined to fix the damage. “I don’t care what it takes…. “ she murmured to herself as she focused harder, her aura flaring out violently as she worked. It took some time but it seemed like it was actually working, even it if was slow it was working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis took in a sharp breath and pulled her knees closer to her chest. It was an odd, fluttery feeling. Like a wound was being healed but at a slow, satisfying pace. And surely enough, the crack was starting to heal. It started off slow but once Lapis had forced herself to relax and trust that Snow knew what she was doing, it sped up the healing a tad.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

' you go on ahead, I’ll catch up. ' ( sapphire ♡ )

“A-Are you positive?” The water gem turned on her heel to look at the other blue gem. It was odd, but she warmed up to Sapphire quicker than any of the other gems. Perhaps it was the closeness of their courts. She glanced over her shoulder where all the other gems had reached the ship, shaking her head. “I’m not leaving you here alone.” She said firmly, lookin back at Sapphire now.

[lacksmotive-a]

‘shit anna @strumshine said after chugging half a bottle of cough medicine, having a large coffee, and not sleeping the night prior’ starters!

I lived through and recorded this and now y’all have to too.

I don’t think I like it…

If I can remember the lyrics to this Tangled song, I’ll be fine.

WOOMPH. *smacks hand* Oh no, that hurt me.

I’m gonna fall over today. I’m gonna break my back. Dying is funny.

I might be out of it by then, _____ might not have to deal with me.

Why does this happen every time?

Butter- I tried eating butter the other day- 

Are you sure it’s the cough medicine and I’m not actually dying right now?

Nahhh fam, I’m gonna enjoy it- 

He’s just a good little stabby boy. *stomps* Murder me, motherfucker!

I gotta stop laughing because I lose my footing.

I didn’t even grab a spoon I literally started chugging it .

*points to brain* It still half works.

Actually, I can’t eat this.

*gently taps head against door* It didn’t help me.

*falls against wall* MOTHERFUCKER! I would die first in a horror movie!

But it’s…. debatable.

He’s tall and big and beefy.

Yeah, a hamburger I’d let kill me.

That guy looked just like Michael Rooker. 

Rookery.

Did you see the dude that was just running with it? I was like ’wow’.

I transcended humanity and now I’m in some sort of realm.

Should I sleep when I get home? 

And then he took us for ice cream! 

You gotta think of the lorax!

____ whhdhag what’re you doing ____ wahatrrehyou you’re in the wrong movie wgatartg you gotta kill your brother! 

That is NOT what I said!

I dropped beef down my tiddies! 

For god’s sake, it was a small beef! It wasn’t even a big one! 

I can’t remember a fucking Barbie song, who am I? 

THAT FUCKING TANGLED SONG HAS NOT LEFT MY HEAD. 

The day ain’t over yet, hon.

DONT LEAVE ME!!!

….Pwease? 

Think about geometry?? 

I told you about this. 

I mean they recapped it. (meant retconned)

LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME. PLEASE!!!

And those two droplets came out. (there’s 3) 

GODDAMNIT, YOU BROUGHT BACK THE WEED. 

That’s another one!

Let’s talk about ____ in theory. 

Actually this is interesting let me talk about this one- 

You have to like hold onto him when you’re asleep- 

I like how we’re working up to the dick king.

He can’t fucking teleport.

Yeah.

I’m just cutting you off right now- 

*bleps*

SHUT UPPPPP, NOT ALL OF THIS IS THAT FUNNY. 

Don’t make this. 

Just collect it. 

WHAT THE HHHH- WHAT THE- WHAT THE FUUUUUUCCCKK??? 

It just don’t wanna be it don’t wanna wear it mmmm mmm.

Just kill me.

Don’t fucking type that. I will kill you.

I think he would kill me first before his dick would.

[dragonsongmemes]

🎃 THE HALLOWEEN TREE SENTENCE STARTERS 

the town was full of… boys. 

it was the afternoon of halloween. 

here i am: witch! 

won’t tell! secret! 

someone’s missing! 

he/she’s never missed a halloween in a zillion years!

come on, ____. come out and save the night! 

___ was the greatest boy/girl who ever lived. 

hurry up! it’s almost over! 

this summer! before you know it, bang! - it’s gone! 

finest and loveliest. 

you go on ahead, I’ll catch up. 

go straight on toward the ravine. 

on your marks. get set. go!

there’s only one house in town worth visiting on halloween!

no treats. only trick. 

the strangest sight you’ve ever seen. 

the leaves have burned to gold and red. 

a mob of smiles shine down on thee. 

will you fly in the dark sky? 

i don’t feel so good. but – i had to come. 

i can’t run! can’t - can’t - 

light your pumpkin! 

search and seek. 

quick now! along this path, up this rise, along this road! 

watch out with that scythe!

o! look up! see! here we are! 

o! someone, see us! or you’ll never believe! 

swoomp, flutter, glide, rush, hiss. 

watch for murder! 

skulls and bones. skeletons and ghosts. 

o dear sweet dead, come home. 

do not wander, do not roam. 

dear one, come home. 

no fun in being wrapped like some old funeral gift. 

i’m here. under the mask. under the wrappings. 

there falls phoebus apollo all grecian light. 

sun and flames. look and blink. 

for you sins! your sins! take that! and this! 

i been pretty good most of my life. i don’t deserve to die. 

england is no place to be a sinner. 

o samhain! god of the dead! hear us! 

we pray for the souls of those who are turned to beasts. 

aye, see? gods following gods. 

new altars, new incense, new names. 

when attacked by a broom, only thing to do! hold tight! 

dry clean my soul and hang it out to dry. 

every town has its resident witch. 

witches, witches, everywhere. 

what does the word ‘witch’ really mean?

all europe was a cloud of witches smoke. 

bigger gods. bigger witches. bigger churches. 

meet me in the air! 

whistle for demons. whistle for fiends. 

settle. slumper. sleep. 

tell me your name, i give you your skull!

many years from now, yes, i’ll come for you. 

o, will we ever stop being afraid of nights and death?

[heireating]

   BOOK STARTERS VOL.37    THE HANDMAID’S TALE    MARGARET ATWOOD

❛ Don’t let the bastards grind you down. ❜

❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜

❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜

❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜

❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜

❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜

❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜

❛ If it’s a story I’m telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜

❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn’t be that hard. ❜

❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜

❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜

❛ You can’t help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜

❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you’d be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜

❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜

❛ There isn’t even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜

❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜

❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜

❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜

❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don’t move. As long as I lie still. ❜

❛ By telling you anything at all I’m at least believing in you. ❜

❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜

❛ Don’t worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜

❛ Keep the others safe. Don’t let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜

❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜

❛ The world is full of weapons if you’re looking for them. ❜

❛ Nobody’s heart is perfect. ❜

❛ One false move and I’m dead. ❜

❛ Watch out. I’ve got my eye on you. ❜

❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜

❛ I couldn’t afford to lose you. ❜

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis had actually ventured out for a little with Peridot, since Steven said she wouldn’t be okay on this mission. She was pretty upset at the time, but she came to understand. She sighed as she stepped back in the barn, glancing around a tad. When she didn’t hear Snow, she sat on the truck bed, which was still parked precariously up in the ceiling and flickered through the tv, glancing at the small trash can that was usually empty. Only this time,it held some crumpled up paper.

She grabbed it,carefully unfolding it and reading them over. She smiled a tad, tears stinging at her eyes. Of course she loved it, even if it was never meant to reach her. She set the papers aside and glided down to go find Snow, who she assumed was outside. “Snow?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow was busy rebuilding the crop field that Peridot had told her about at one point, tending to the crops and watering the normal plants. Eventually she heard Lapis’ voice approaching her. “Yeah? I’m in the corn field!” she called out.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis moved over to the corn field and stepped in, following the sound of Snows voice. They never did heal Lapis all the way, but she seemed to be doing just fine. She walked up to the other and hugged her tightly from behind, burying her face into the hybrids shoulder. “I love you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow looked over her shoulder at her. “I love you too. How are you feeling today?” she asked, still a little concerned about her injuries. “What’s going on?” she eventually asked, a little confused about the sudden affection. Peridot and Lapis knew she was going to be out here working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis managed a smile. “I’m Okay.” She said gently. Of course, that was a mixed answer. It was painful from time to time, and it made laying on her back nearly impossible. She pulled back a little at the next question, shaking her head gently. “Nothing I just wanted to tell you.” She said gently before she glanced out at the crops.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow smiled, putting the equipment down and turning to face Lapis. “Let me see your gem. I should be able to heal it a little more.” She finally said. She still felt bad that Lapis was hurt, but at least she wasn’t too bad off. “Remind me to slap Jasper later too…” Snow chuckled, kissing Lapis on the forehead.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis smiles, closing her eyes as she leaned in a tad. She then turned so Snow could see her gem. The internal cracks were inconsistent, some had gotten deeper while others had disappeared. Steven had mentioned that Pearl had an answer for them, but the answer terrified her. They’d have to externally crack her gem to heal the inside properly.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow had remembered what Pearl said, and she didn’t like the idea, it was too risky to try and crack it. “Hey, I can try a trick I learned way back, but I would have to go inside your gem to do this correctly. That way I don’t have to do the thing that Pearl suggested. It’s a lot safer than trying to push my claw through your gem at least.” She looked at Lapis, waiting to see what she would say.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed a tad at that. She held her breath slightly. Lapis was a very secretive gem. And while she trusted Snow, she had never let anyone go in her gem, where she hid some of her darkest secrets. Of her life before the war. She looked away a bit, her hand moving up to her arm as she swallowed thickly. “I..I don’t know.” She said quietly, remembering the letter. Snow..wouldn’t care, right? That was her past. Everything she did or had done to her, it didn’t matter. “Are you sure it’ll work-?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded. “Pink taught me how to heal. I just have to project my aura once I’m inside.” she explained in the simplest way possible. “You might feel a little weird though, my aura can influence emotions sometimes.” she warned, looking at her. Snow just wanted to help her in any way she could. “To make it fair, I will let you enter my gem after I’m done, that way we will both know everything about each other. I will keep your secrets.” she added, a serious look on her face now.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis set her jaw in thought. She looked away, attempting to keep the walls she had learned to build up away. After a solid minute of tense silence, she slowly nodded, looking back towards Snow now. She knew Snow wouldn’t let it affect their life now. She just..didn’t like sharing a lot at once. But it was better than this pain every time she moved. She nodded again, this time a bit more determined and set. “Okay.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded, smiling soft at her before gently laying her hand over Lapis’ gem, waiting for her to let her in. “I’ll try not to stay too long.” she said gently, wanting to put her mind at ease as much as she could. “I love you so much Lapis, thank you for trusting in me.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis relaxed just a tad at the touch, her hands slowly lowering to her side. She let out a shaky sigh, nodding gently. “I love you too.” She said quietly, and after a small moment, she managed the courage to let the other in. Once inside the gem, it was a dark, stormy scene. The galaxy warp was in the distance, dark clouds hanging over the ground. Screaming and shouting could be heard in the distance.

The war. It was a replication of the day Lapis had been sent to Earth. To the other side however, it was warm, sunny. The beach, with the waves lapping gently at the sand.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow immediately felt very on edge, the urge to phase into her armor was hard to resist but she still managed it. Snow looked around to see if she could find where she needed to start first. After walking for what seemed like a long time she found something that looked a lot like what she imagined an internal crack would and placed her hands on it, a small backlash of pain striking through her as she worked on healing it.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

The internal crack seemed to be held in the middle of the war zone. Right where Lapis’ memory of herself was. It ripped through the scene and made the fight hard to comprehend. And it looked like this one had been growing for a while.

Lapis took in a sharp breath and slowly sat down, burying her face into her knees, which were pulled up to her chest. It felt weird, that was for sure.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis had actually ventured out for a little with Peridot, since Steven said she wouldn’t be okay on this mission. She was pretty upset at the time, but she came to understand. She sighed as she stepped back in the barn, glancing around a tad. When she didn’t hear Snow, she sat on the truck bed, which was still parked precariously up in the ceiling and flickered through the tv, glancing at the small trash can that was usually empty. Only this time,it held some crumpled up paper.

She grabbed it,carefully unfolding it and reading them over. She smiled a tad, tears stinging at her eyes. Of course she loved it, even if it was never meant to reach her. She set the papers aside and glided down to go find Snow, who she assumed was outside. “Snow?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow was busy rebuilding the crop field that Peridot had told her about at one point, tending to the crops and watering the normal plants. Eventually she heard Lapis’ voice approaching her. “Yeah? I’m in the corn field!” she called out.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis moved over to the corn field and stepped in, following the sound of Snows voice. They never did heal Lapis all the way, but she seemed to be doing just fine. She walked up to the other and hugged her tightly from behind, burying her face into the hybrids shoulder. “I love you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow looked over her shoulder at her. “I love you too. How are you feeling today?” she asked, still a little concerned about her injuries. “What’s going on?” she eventually asked, a little confused about the sudden affection. Peridot and Lapis knew she was going to be out here working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis managed a smile. “I’m Okay.” She said gently. Of course, that was a mixed answer. It was painful from time to time, and it made laying on her back nearly impossible. She pulled back a little at the next question, shaking her head gently. “Nothing I just wanted to tell you.” She said gently before she glanced out at the crops.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow smiled, putting the equipment down and turning to face Lapis. “Let me see your gem. I should be able to heal it a little more.” She finally said. She still felt bad that Lapis was hurt, but at least she wasn’t too bad off. “Remind me to slap Jasper later too…” Snow chuckled, kissing Lapis on the forehead.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis smiles, closing her eyes as she leaned in a tad. She then turned so Snow could see her gem. The internal cracks were inconsistent, some had gotten deeper while others had disappeared. Steven had mentioned that Pearl had an answer for them, but the answer terrified her. They’d have to externally crack her gem to heal the inside properly.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow had remembered what Pearl said, and she didn’t like the idea, it was too risky to try and crack it. “Hey, I can try a trick I learned way back, but I would have to go inside your gem to do this correctly. That way I don’t have to do the thing that Pearl suggested. It’s a lot safer than trying to push my claw through your gem at least.” She looked at Lapis, waiting to see what she would say.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed a tad at that. She held her breath slightly. Lapis was a very secretive gem. And while she trusted Snow, she had never let anyone go in her gem, where she hid some of her darkest secrets. Of her life before the war. She looked away a bit, her hand moving up to her arm as she swallowed thickly. “I..I don’t know.” She said quietly, remembering the letter. Snow..wouldn’t care, right? That was her past. Everything she did or had done to her, it didn’t matter. “Are you sure it’ll work-?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded. “Pink taught me how to heal. I just have to project my aura once I’m inside.” she explained in the simplest way possible. “You might feel a little weird though, my aura can influence emotions sometimes.” she warned, looking at her. Snow just wanted to help her in any way she could. “To make it fair, I will let you enter my gem after I’m done, that way we will both know everything about each other. I will keep your secrets.” she added, a serious look on her face now.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis set her jaw in thought. She looked away, attempting to keep the walls she had learned to build up away. After a solid minute of tense silence, she slowly nodded, looking back towards Snow now. She knew Snow wouldn’t let it affect their life now. She just..didn’t like sharing a lot at once. But it was better than this pain every time she moved. She nodded again, this time a bit more determined and set. “Okay.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded, smiling soft at her before gently laying her hand over Lapis’ gem, waiting for her to let her in. “I’ll try not to stay too long.” she said gently, wanting to put her mind at ease as much as she could. “I love you so much Lapis, thank you for trusting in me.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis relaxed just a tad at the touch, her hands slowly lowering to her side. She let out a shaky sigh, nodding gently. “I love you too.” She said quietly, and after a small moment, she managed the courage to let the other in. Once inside the gem, it was a dark, stormy scene. The galaxy warp was in the distance, dark clouds hanging over the ground. Screaming and shouting could be heard in the distance.

The war. It was a replication of the day Lapis had been sent to Earth. To the other side however, it was warm, sunny. The beach, with the waves lapping gently at the sand.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis had actually ventured out for a little with Peridot, since Steven said she wouldn’t be okay on this mission. She was pretty upset at the time, but she came to understand. She sighed as she stepped back in the barn, glancing around a tad. When she didn’t hear Snow, she sat on the truck bed, which was still parked precariously up in the ceiling and flickered through the tv, glancing at the small trash can that was usually empty. Only this time,it held some crumpled up paper.

She grabbed it,carefully unfolding it and reading them over. She smiled a tad, tears stinging at her eyes. Of course she loved it, even if it was never meant to reach her. She set the papers aside and glided down to go find Snow, who she assumed was outside. “Snow?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow was busy rebuilding the crop field that Peridot had told her about at one point, tending to the crops and watering the normal plants. Eventually she heard Lapis’ voice approaching her. “Yeah? I’m in the corn field!” she called out.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis moved over to the corn field and stepped in, following the sound of Snows voice. They never did heal Lapis all the way, but she seemed to be doing just fine. She walked up to the other and hugged her tightly from behind, burying her face into the hybrids shoulder. “I love you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow looked over her shoulder at her. “I love you too. How are you feeling today?” she asked, still a little concerned about her injuries. “What’s going on?” she eventually asked, a little confused about the sudden affection. Peridot and Lapis knew she was going to be out here working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis managed a smile. “I’m Okay.” She said gently. Of course, that was a mixed answer. It was painful from time to time, and it made laying on her back nearly impossible. She pulled back a little at the next question, shaking her head gently. “Nothing I just wanted to tell you.” She said gently before she glanced out at the crops.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow smiled, putting the equipment down and turning to face Lapis. “Let me see your gem. I should be able to heal it a little more.” She finally said. She still felt bad that Lapis was hurt, but at least she wasn’t too bad off. “Remind me to slap Jasper later too…” Snow chuckled, kissing Lapis on the forehead.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis smiles, closing her eyes as she leaned in a tad. She then turned so Snow could see her gem. The internal cracks were inconsistent, some had gotten deeper while others had disappeared. Steven had mentioned that Pearl had an answer for them, but the answer terrified her. They’d have to externally crack her gem to heal the inside properly.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow had remembered what Pearl said, and she didn’t like the idea, it was too risky to try and crack it. “Hey, I can try a trick I learned way back, but I would have to go inside your gem to do this correctly. That way I don’t have to do the thing that Pearl suggested. It’s a lot safer than trying to push my claw through your gem at least.” She looked at Lapis, waiting to see what she would say.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed a tad at that. She held her breath slightly. Lapis was a very secretive gem. And while she trusted Snow, she had never let anyone go in her gem, where she hid some of her darkest secrets. Of her life before the war. She looked away a bit, her hand moving up to her arm as she swallowed thickly. “I..I don’t know.” She said quietly, remembering the letter. Snow..wouldn’t care, right? That was her past. Everything she did or had done to her, it didn’t matter. “Are you sure it’ll work-?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow nodded. “Pink taught me how to heal. I just have to project my aura once I’m inside.” she explained in the simplest way possible. “You might feel a little weird though, my aura can influence emotions sometimes.” she warned, looking at her. Snow just wanted to help her in any way she could. “To make it fair, I will let you enter my gem after I’m done, that way we will both know everything about each other. I will keep your secrets.” she added, a serious look on her face now.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis set her jaw in thought. She looked away, attempting to keep the walls she had learned to build up away. After a solid minute of tense silence, she slowly nodded, looking back towards Snow now. She knew Snow wouldn’t let it affect their life now. She just..didn’t like sharing a lot at once. But it was better than this pain every time she moved. She nodded again, this time a bit more determined and set. “Okay.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

🗑

“Dearest Lapis,

I’ve been thinking about everthing that’s been going on and I’m still amazed that you would actually want to be with me. I’m the one who’s the real monster, I just keep it hidden well. To think that someone as beautiful and kind as you would want to be around me is confusing, to say the least. But even with all that said… I am still grateful to have you around. I honestly thought that with Pink giving up her form to give birth to Steven and Jasper staying back instead of joining the rebellion that I was going to stay alone… you changed all of that.”

Part of the next few lines were scribbled out.

“I’m a little drunk… I just got back from a mission with the others and nearly had a panic attack because Steven almost got hit. Surprisingly Jasper protected him but still. You’ll probably never see this, I can’t actually give this to you… I sound too whiny and stupid in this letter but hey, at least i’m getting my feelings out… nnnh I think I need to play a few songs or something to unwind…. yeah…..

I love you Lapis, with everything I have in me I love you…. I will always love you….. yeah. Forever. I’d die for you.”

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis had actually ventured out for a little with Peridot, since Steven said she wouldn’t be okay on this mission. She was pretty upset at the time, but she came to understand. She sighed as she stepped back in the barn, glancing around a tad. When she didn’t hear Snow, she sat on the truck bed, which was still parked precariously up in the ceiling and flickered through the tv, glancing at the small trash can that was usually empty. Only this time,it held some crumpled up paper.

She grabbed it,carefully unfolding it and reading them over. She smiled a tad, tears stinging at her eyes. Of course she loved it, even if it was never meant to reach her. She set the papers aside and glided down to go find Snow, who she assumed was outside. “Snow?”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow was busy rebuilding the crop field that Peridot had told her about at one point, tending to the crops and watering the normal plants. Eventually she heard Lapis’ voice approaching her. “Yeah? I’m in the corn field!” she called out.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis moved over to the corn field and stepped in, following the sound of Snows voice. They never did heal Lapis all the way, but she seemed to be doing just fine. She walked up to the other and hugged her tightly from behind, burying her face into the hybrids shoulder. “I love you.”

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow looked over her shoulder at her. “I love you too. How are you feeling today?” she asked, still a little concerned about her injuries. “What’s going on?” she eventually asked, a little confused about the sudden affection. Peridot and Lapis knew she was going to be out here working.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis managed a smile. “I’m Okay.” She said gently. Of course, that was a mixed answer. It was painful from time to time, and it made laying on her back nearly impossible. She pulled back a little at the next question, shaking her head gently. “Nothing I just wanted to tell you.” She said gently before she glanced out at the crops.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow smiled, putting the equipment down and turning to face Lapis. “Let me see your gem. I should be able to heal it a little more.” She finally said. She still felt bad that Lapis was hurt, but at least she wasn’t too bad off. “Remind me to slap Jasper later too…” Snow chuckled, kissing Lapis on the forehead.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis smiles, closing her eyes as she leaned in a tad. She then turned so Snow could see her gem. The internal cracks were inconsistent, some had gotten deeper while others had disappeared. Steven had mentioned that Pearl had an answer for them, but the answer terrified her. They’d have to externally crack her gem to heal the inside properly.

[singer-snowflake-deactivated202]

Snow had remembered what Pearl said, and she didn’t like the idea, it was too risky to try and crack it. “Hey, I can try a trick I learned way back, but I would have to go inside your gem to do this correctly. That way I don’t have to do the thing that Pearl suggested. It’s a lot safer than trying to push my claw through your gem at least.” She looked at Lapis, waiting to see what she would say.

[ivefelt-worse-blog]

Lapis tensed a tad at that. She held her breath slightly. Lapis was a very secretive gem. And while she trusted Snow, she had never let anyone go in her gem, where she hid some of her darkest secrets. Of her life before the war. She looked away a bit, her hand moving up to her arm as she swallowed thickly. “I..I don’t know.” She said quietly, remembering the letter. Snow..wouldn’t care, right? That was her past. Everything she did or had done to her, it didn’t matter. “Are you sure it’ll work-?”